Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Derek
L ook at how big Casey’s smile is. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen that.
Amber is crouched down to her level with a big, bright smile. The sun catches her hair, making it look like a dark halo, and the sight of her with my kids does something to my insides that I don’t entirely like.
I frown, narrowing my eyes as I watch them. Casey’s usually so closed off, so careful with her emotions, but right now, she’s leaning into Amber like they’re best friends. She’s always been a happy, funny girl, but she’s never really shown a lot of physical affection toward people, not even her mom. And Eric, he’s always been the stoic, responsible one. It takes a lot to get him excited about something, and recently, football has been the only thing to get him grinning and talking animatedly. But now, he’s practically bouncing on his feet, his face lighting up with every laugh.
The weight in my chest surprises me. They haven’t laughed like this since…I clear my throat, shifting uncomfortably. Since Sharon. Since they lost their mom. Seeing them like this, so light and carefree, I almost don’t recognize them.
While my initial reaction is happiness, a surge of affection for them and Amber envelop me. But as my eyes stay locked on Amber, a hot, unwelcome flicker of irritation rolls through me.
What’s she doing? Wiggling her way into their hearts this fast?
I hardly know her. She’s Casey’s teacher, nothing more. Teachers don’t normally get this involved, do they? But Amber…she’s different. She’s more present than I’d like. And the way she’s so at ease with them, like she belongs in their lives…
The memory of that kiss at the winery barrels into my mind. The taste of her lips and the feeling of her hands on my shoulders—hell, it’s like it happened yesterday, not three weeks ago. The way she looked at me afterward, half amused, half surprised, like she couldn’t believe it herself.
I scowl, running a hand over my face. My kids have been through a lot, more than any kid should have to go through at their age.
Since Sharon died, I’ve had women trying to date me, women who come up and introduce themselves to my kids as “your daddy’s friend,” and who try to intrude in our lives before we’ve even gone on a date.
“Tell me you didn’t hook up with that one, too,” Willie says quietly as he comes up behind me.
“I have not,” I practically growl at him.
“I was hoping it wasn’t another case of you sleeping with a woman and her falling in love with you instantly.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m always very upfront and honest with them that I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“And all they hear is that they can change you.” He shrugs.
He shakes his head and watches Amber and the kids laughing.
“I’m not proud of any of that. I hate how women think sleeping with me entitles them to infiltrate my house and kids. I’d never let someone meet my kids before I even get to know them well.”
“So you did sleep with her?” he asks quietly.
“No. We…” I shake my head and blow out a long breath. “She’s Casey’s teacher. She’s a little too involved, though. I’m starting to worry that she’s one of those women who thinks—”
Willie laughs before he holds up his hand in a gesture to stop. “Slow down. She’s a teacher and is just doing what teachers do. You can’t be on the defensive with every woman in the world just because that Becky lady showed up and cooked everyone breakfast while you were in the orchard.”
I shake my head and chuckle dryly. I’m still pretty floored over that one. We went on a date, and it ended with me staying the night at her house. The following morning, she followed me home, and the kids woke up to a strange woman cooking breakfast for them. While it was a sweet gesture, it was also a huge violation of my life. I try to keep the kids away from my dating life as much as possible to keep them from losing someone else they care about, but Becky is just one small instance of why I’m leery of dating.
Everyone thinks of me as a rich bachelor, the sad widow who needs to be fixed or taken care of, and I’m none of those things. The women quickly decide that my lack of communication and consistency aren’t what they want and move on.
Amber catches sight of me as I walk up. Her smile falters just a bit, and her face settles into something neutral, polite even. She’s got those big, open eyes that look like they’ve never seen a bad thing in their life. I instantly feel guilty for thinking she’s anything like those other women.
“Hey, Eric, can you and Casey show the kids the piglet races?” I ask as I walk up to their huddle.
“Pig races?” Amber asks with a giant grin. “That sounds fun. You know, Casey and Eric have some great jokes, by the way. Real comedians, these two.”
The kids beam up at her like she’s just told them they’ve won the lottery. My throat tightens. This was supposed to be them and me. We don’t need anyone else. Not her, not anyone.
“I’m sure they are. Eric, why don’t we set that up before it’s time for the class to leave?”
“Sure thing, Dad,” he says as he takes his sister by the hand and leads her out to the pig pens.
The kids do as I ask, getting the smallest piglets in the tiny chutes we made for pig racing. It’s just a fun little thing to simulate horse racing for the little ones. It seems to be a big winner for the visiting schools. Eric and Casey seem to love it, too.
“You’ve really outdone yourself with all of this. I can see why Mrs. D wanted to come out here,” Amber says, reaching out and touching my arm gently.
I feel like I touched the electric fence and move away from her slightly, enough that it’s noticeable, and she stiffens.
“Yeah, she was the first field trip out here,” I say as I clear my throat awkwardly. “I think she was our loudest supporter, too. She drummed up a lot of business for me.”
“That sounds like her,” she says softly.
I put my hand on the small of her back and gently lead her forward.
“This is quite the show. You’ll want to get a good seat.”
She grins back at me, and I feel something tugging at my heart. As Eric and Casey explain what they’re doing to the group, I walk away and hang back from the crowd. It’s not long before Amber and Katrina are corralling the kids back on the bus.
Amber has the patience of a saint, and it seems the kids love her. She’s grinning from ear to ear, being playful with the kids, and even taking a little extra time with those falling behind for whatever reason.
“Hey, don’t forget our meeting tomorrow,” she says over her shoulder.
“I won’t,” I reply quickly.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. Amber makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, not even with my late wife, and that’s throwing me for a loop. I feel the walls around my heart melting as I watch her laugh with a little boy.
“What’s up with you, Dad?” Eric pipes up once the kids are all on the bus. “You’re acting weird.”
I force myself to smile. “How am I acting weird?”
“You’re staring off into space with a goofy smile.”
“Is that so?” I say with a laugh. He nods. “Nothing, bud. Just a long day.”
But it’s not nothing. I can’t shake the image of Amber with my kids, their faces lighting up with every word from her mouth. She’s just Casey’s teacher. And that’s all I can see her as.
Back at the house, I watch Casey drift toward her room, already grabbing a book Amber had recommended to her last week. Since then, she’s been reading every chance she gets. I go to the kitchen and pour myself a tumbler of whiskey before making dinner for us.
I go to the cabinet and pull out the ingredients to make spaghetti. I move about the kitchen, lost in thought.
I spent a lot of time building walls around their grief, my grief, and telling myself I’d be all they’d need and vice versa. I hadn’t expected anyone to penetrate those walls. For whatever reason, I can’t get Amber out of my thoughts.
Up until today, I’ve been so rude to her. I can’t understand why she’s being so nice to me or the kids.
Did Teddy tell her that I had money, and that’s why she’s taken such an interest in my daughter?
Why is that always my initial thought?
The orchard doesn’t look like much. When Sharon’s family ran it, it really wasn’t much. With my business and agricultural degree, I’ve been able to turn this family farm into an organic orchard and a place where families come to make memories. Not just that, I’ve taken the Livesay name to where it was known all over the country for quality organic apples. I’d even started making our own apple wine and cider, both released within the past month.
I blow out a long breath and shake my head. I run my hand along my face. For that reason, other women have shown interest in me, but Amber doesn’t seem like the type. I let out a groan and continue cutting the vegetables for the spaghetti sauce.
What’s gotten into me? I never used to be this paranoid about things.
Maybe…maybe it’s something else entirely. The way she looked at me after that kiss, teasing me as she played along with that whole ridiculous “help me out” scene. She has to know it’s been on my mind. No woman kisses a man like that and then expects him just to forget it.
The problem is, no matter how much I try to push her out of my head, the thought of her lips against mine creeps back in, softening every hard edge of me. Before I know it, I’m finished making dinner and call the kids into the kitchen.
“Your spaghetti is my favorite,” Casey says as she holds her plate out for me to fill.
“I’m glad.” I chuckle. “Did you have fun today?”
“Any day that I don’t have to go to school is a good day.” She shrugs as she goes to sit down at the table.
“What do you mean, sis? You love school.”
“It’s boring.”
She sits down and starts digging into her food. Eric’s eyes flit to mine, and he shakes his head. I nod, knowing that if she’s not wanting to open up to me, she will with her brother. It hurts that she doesn’t want to talk to me, but I’m grateful for her relationship with Eric.
Once the kids are in bed, I go to the kitchen and pour myself another tumbler of whiskey. I do my nightly walk around the farm to ensure everything is where it should be and locked. I triple-check the horse stalls this time.
As I step back out into the night, I notice a brand-new Ford pickup truck pulling into the driveway.
Who on earth would be here at this time?
David Livesay, Sharon’s dad, hops out of the truck. I’m shocked and on edge, narrowing my eyes at him. He’s often looking for a fight because he’s drunk. He also never misses the opportunity to blame me for his daughter’s death.
“David, everything all right?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“It’s after ten, not necessarily a normal time for someone to pay a visit.”
“It’s my family farm. Are you telling me that I’m not welcome?”
“I didn’t say that at all,” I answer, holding back the dry chuckle that wants to come out. He’s always been a jerk, and that multiplied when his daughter died. “The kids would have liked to have seen you, that’s all.”
“Yeah.” He coughs as he shakes his head.
Sharon’s family has never been a fan of mine, and I’m not sure why. I can only assume that they wanted their daughter to marry a lawyer or doctor and take her out of this town, but instead, she found an organic farmer with a master’s in business. They’ve never been very active in the kids’ lives either, and I often wonder if it’s because they don’t like me.
Not to mention, they think I murdered their daughter for a nonexistent life insurance policy.
David sways a little as he takes a step toward me. I can smell the tequila pouring off him.
“Well, it’s been a long day, and I’m headed in for the night. Do you need anything?”
“Nah, I’ll be in the guesthouse in the back.”
He doesn’t wait for a reply. He just storms off toward the old bunkhouse behind the barn. His house is closer to the bar than the farm is. Did his wife kick him out for the night?
Sharon would always tell me stories about her parents fighting because of their mutual drinking problems. They live five miles down the road, but it feels more like they are on the other side of the country with how little we interact with them.
The following morning, he’s gone before I wake up with the sunrise.
How often is that happening?