Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Amber
“Y ou and Derek are…cute.” Bree giggles later that night.
“What does that even mean?”
“It means that the attraction is obvious to everyone but the two of you.”
“He’s so hot and cold, but things have been nice between us lately. But it doesn’t matter if there’s an attraction. I can’t date a parent of one of my students.”
“Didn’t you have a really hot make-out session the other night?”
“And then he was a jerk and acted like it didn’t happen,” I groan. I shake my head and blow out a breath. “Like, I know that he was thrown into chaos and a really bad moment, so I am giving him grace, but…it’s still in the back of my mind like is this how he acts in the middle of pressure because if it is, I don’t know if that’s what I want. And then…he apologized, and the last few times I’ve been around, it’s like none of that happened.”
“Well, until you tell him that’s a problem, he’s not going to know that’s an issue for you.”
“He’s a…”
She holds up her hand. “I’m not defending him by any means, just telling you that you shouldn’t write him off just yet. Tell him you don’t like it, and then if he does it again, you have your answer.”
I nod. “You’re right. I’ll do that.”
“I know you will.” She winks.
“But…none of that matters anyway. He was married to Sharon. Like…how can I overlook that? She was a horrific person, and he loved her.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but…she was tolerable when he was around. Maybe she was so hateful because she was miserable at home. I don’t know.”
“Teddy said something similar, but…I don’t believe it. She was heinous to me, and I don’t know that I can overlook it.”
“He isn’t her, though. As far as we know, she kept that part of herself hidden from him.”
“I mean, I guess that’s possible, but…”
“I think you’re just looking for excuses to protect yourself from getting hurt again.”
I take a step back as her words hit me.
Oof, that hits home. Is she right?
I’m condemning him before I even get to know him, really. I like him. I’m attracted to him but holding back because I’m scared he will turn into Tommy.
“Maybe, but Sharon was pretty horrible to me.”
“I know that you don’t have a lot of dating history, and the one man you trusted was a douche, but try to remember that Derek isn’t Tommy. And…if there’s anything I’ve learned since being with Charlie, it’s that you have to be able to use your words. If you can’t speak up and tell a man when he does something you don’t like or that your feelings are hurt, you’ll resent him without him ever knowing why.”
I blow out a breath, nodding because I know she’s right. Tommy was my first boyfriend. I’ve never been one to really be interested in dating. I’ve always been focused on school or whatever is right in front of me. I’d gone on plenty of dates, but Tommy was the first man who I felt understood me.
“You’re right. Tommy was a skilled manipulator, and I have to remember that he’s a rarity, too. There are really good men out there. It’s not like I have extensive bad history either.”
“Exactly.” She smiles. “I’m calling it a night. I’m so glad we get these impromptu moments together, but I can feel a migraine coming on.”
“Me too,” I gush as I hug her tightly.
She leaves, and I continue walking toward the parking area, smiling as I look around and pass through the booths again. I needed a few more minutes here in the quiet of the night. Being back is deeply comforting, and I’m not ready to let it go just yet.
I didn’t leave the house much in Connecticut, and when I did, it just didn’t feel the same. I get that I really didn’t allow myself to venture out of my comfort zone either.
Something is different about Hicks Creek. People are so kind and welcoming, even if you haven’t lived here your entire life. I thought that was normal until I got to college.
My eyes wander through the crowd until I spot Derek's booth. The soft lighting highlights rows of cider bottles and crates of organic apples, and it feels like home, like something steady I can hold on to. And then I see Sofia, Teddy, and the girls, Hazel and Cassidy, all gathered around.
When Hazel and Cassidy catch sight of me, they bound over, their little faces painted like tigers, cheeks smudged with bits of orange and black.
“Auntie Amber! Look!” Hazel says excitedly, showing off her painted whiskers and nose, which the paint artist had turned into a cute tiger snout.
Cassidy jumps in, holding up a stuffed tiger almost as big as she is. “Daddy won this for me! Isn’t he cute?”
“He’s the cutest,” I say, beaming at both of them. “Your dad has always been so good at winning the best prizes. And you two look fierce! If you come in looking like that, I might be a little scared to see you at school on Monday.”
They giggle, bouncing around as if their energy is limitless. Behind them, Derek is talking with Sofia, who glances over and waves.
“We’re about to head out. Let me take Eric and Casey back to our place for the night. They’re practically asleep on their feet,” she adds, pointing at Derek’s kids, sitting cross-legged on a pile of hay, looking exhausted but content.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I insist. You’ve had a stressful week. It’ll be good for all three of you,” Sofia adds.
“We’ll be okay, Dad,” Eric interjects.
I don’t miss that his eyes flit to me before they go back to his dad.
Did I just imagine that?
Derek finally nods, and my nieces cheer with excitement to get a sleepover with their friend.
Teddy grins, patting Derek on the back with an exaggerated, knowing look. “I drove separately so I could stay and help pack up. You in, Amber?”
I laugh. “Well, I guess so.”
Hazel and Cassidy, now tugging Sofia’s arms, squeal, “Bye, Auntie Amber! Bye, Dad! Bye, Mr. Derek!”
They wave furiously as they head off with Sofia, leaving Derek, Teddy, and me standing there in the golden light. The three of us start breaking down the booth. Derek backs his truck up, and we begin loading it.
We settle into a rhythm, cleaning and packing things up while also listening to the band playing nearby. Once it’s all done, the band has quieted, and most people are packing up, kids clinging to their parents, exhausted from the excitement of the night.
“I think I heard every female in town raving about your stand and…other things,” I tease.
“Other things?” he asks in disbelief. “Like what?”
“Public place, probably shouldn’t be talking about that,” I say with a flirty wink.
“Well, I think it’s my cue to make an exit too. You two don’t need an extra set of hands around here anymore,” Teddy says lightly.
He makes a face and gestures for me to move closer to his friend. I roll my eyes, but I can feel the heat in my cheeks. He claps Derek on the shoulder again, then saunters off, whistling as he goes, leaving us both watching him with a mix of humor and awkwardness.
Derek clears his throat, his gaze meeting mine for a second longer than necessary. “Thanks so much for your help. I appreciate it.”
“No problem. The kids did so well with sales that there wasn’t a lot to do anyway.”
“Yeah, maybe I’ll put them on the payroll someday.” He chuckles.
I laugh as I move to sit on the back of his tailgate for a second. I look around the festival. It’s winding down. The band is packing up, and most of the people are already gone.
“Man, I forgot how much I missed this place and all its little celebrations.”
“It is pretty special. Are you glad you came back, then?”
“I am. I missed nights like this, the people, the festivals…It’s good to feel like I belong somewhere.”
He nods, his gaze shifting back to his truck. He sits down next to me.
“You didn’t feel like you belonged in Connecticut?”
“No.” I shrug. “The prep school was out of my league, I guess you’d say. They were all families who made six-plus figures and flew to Aspen and Honolulu just for the heck of it on the weekends, you know? I always felt like a pauper. I didn’t get out much, either. I always thought I was outgoing, but it’s a world of difference when you’re not surrounded by people you’ve known your entire life.”
“That makes sense. I’m glad you came back. Casey…she talks about you a lot, you know. I think you’re making an impact.”
I smile as his words wrap around me. It feels nice to hear him say he’s glad I’m here and that I’m making an impact.
“Well, she makes it easy. She’s a great girl. They’re both wonderful kids, Derek.”
He smiles. “Thanks. They’re tough, but they’ve been through a lot.” He pauses, glancing at me with a seriousness I haven’t seen from him before. “I appreciate you being there for her…for not backing down when I was a jerk.”
“I’m used to it,” I say playfully. “You’re nothing compared to some of the parents I dealt with at the prep academy. They loved to cause a scene.”
“I’m sorry again for how I acted after the fire and at school when I picked up Casey. I shouldn’t have been. I’m still…I’m overwhelmed and still learning how to handle those feelings.”
Whoa. Did he hear my conversation with Bree? Because damn, if he didn’t just say it all.
I suck in a breath and feel myself relax a little. I didn’t even have to say the words. He apologized again without them and admitted to working on the problem. I breathe out a sigh of relief and smile back at him. It’s nice to hear him admit to being overwhelmed. A lot of men wouldn’t do that.
Holy…I wasn’t expecting this.
“I get it. I assumed that you needed space. I do appreciate the apology and hope that in the future we can talk about it, rather than you shutting me out.”
He moves so he’s closer than he’s been all night. His eyes linger on mine, and there’s a moment, a heartbeat, when everything else fades away, leaving just the two of us under the soft glow of the festival lights.
“I don’t know what it is about you, Amber,” he says quietly, almost as if he’s talking more to himself than to me, “but you make everything feel… easier.”
He reaches for my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles. The gesture is simple, but it sends a rush of warmth through me. I’m over here grinning like an idiot.
Well, my vajayjay has awoken from her slumber. Yikes, how does this man make me feel this way?
I know I should pull away. I know I should hop off this tailgate and walk to my car, go home, and forget about him, but I can’t.
I shouldn’t have feelings for him. I need to take time and not date for a while after my last relationship. But, being this close to Derek, all rational thought leaves my brain, and all I know is that I want him to kiss me again.
The school never said we couldn’t date a parent. It’s just a silly rule I gave myself after hearing horror stories.
Is it really that bad if I do this?
“Hey, um, would you like to come back to my place?” I ask before I lose my nerve.
He nods. “I’d like that.”
“My back porch is pretty great. Maybe we can drink some of that wine with mom’s apple pie.”
“What about apple crisp? I was told that was a necessity.”
“I think I have some of that at home just for you.”
My face hurts from smiling so much. I’m a happy person, but even this is a bit much for me.
He grins back at me. “Do you want to ride with me?”
“You can follow.”
I turn and walk to my car while he gets in his truck. I swallow hard.
I can’t believe I’m being so nonchalant about this. I’m not a forward woman, and this is so out of character for me.
I’m still grinning like a fool as I make my way the short distance to the parking area. I’m also so nervous that my hands are sweating. I can’t let him see that, though. By the time I’m pulling out, he’s right behind me.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. He’s a parent of one of my students. This is wrong, right?
It feels so damn right, though. I can’t argue with all of the feelings I get when I’m around him.
I drive to my house, the radio on low as I continue talking myself into this.
“Nothing has to happen. He’s coming to drink a little wine, have some crisp, and that’s it. You two are just getting to know each other. That’s it. There’s nothing wrong with us taking it slow and…” I groan and let out a long breath as I grip the steering wheel tightly.
Who am I kidding? I don’t want this to go slow at all.