Chapter 12 Lauren
Lauren
Every muscle ached as Lauren trudged up the steps onto the porch. The dim, orange light beside the front door only provided enough glow for her to find the key and get inside.
She dropped her purse onto a table by the door and froze. Something was different.
It was quiet. Where was Zach? For the last two weeks, he’d been working at her house when she got home in the evenings.
Maybe he’d decided to work on the rental house.
Maybe he was finished for the day. She was later than usual.
She’d gone straight to the church after work to move her Sunday School classroom to a bigger area.
The kids’ class was bursting at the seams, and the older class had graciously offered to trade them the larger space.
She turned around and opened the door she’d just come through and squinted to see anything in the darkness. The truck Mr. Benson had loaned Zach wasn’t anywhere to be found. Thank the Lord, he had a license and a phone now, but that made it tougher to keep up with him.
Keeping up with him was not her job. She needed to tattoo the reminder on her hand, so she’d stop worrying over him all the time.
Slipping back inside and locking the door, she let the last of her composure slip away.
Sure, Zach was providing her a service she needed, but the relief of being able to relax in her own home was a luxury she’d taken for granted in the past. She could slip into her pajamas and work on the Sunday School lesson.
The lesson. Heavy hands pressed on her shoulders.
It was Saturday night, and she hadn’t prepared a single thing for tomorrow morning’s class.
She’d never waited this late to prepare, but every time she sat down in front of her Bible, her mind was inconveniently blank.
Now, it was crunch time, and she was crippling under the pressure.
She mulled over lesson ideas while she showered. The kids ranged in age from four to six, and making the lessons relatable to them usually posed a challenge. She didn’t want to sugarcoat the Lord’s word, but she wanted to present it on their level too.
Moses and the burning bush? No. She’d taught that one recently.
David and Goliath? The kids already knew that one.
Solomon’s wisdom? Maybe. She could use some wisdom these days. The kids probably wouldn’t understand the story about the two mothers arguing over one baby.
Obedience? She smiled, remembering the ending of the book of Jonah. The kids would get a kick out of Jonah’s reluctant obedience, and it would show them that even adults struggle to do things they don’t want to do.
Her skin cooled as she stepped out of the scorching spray of the shower, and she reached for the towel hanging on a hook. When her body was dry, she wrapped the towel around herself, holding it securely at her chest, before leaving the steamy bathroom.
She took one step into the hallway before she collided with something warm—something that grabbed her bare arms.
Lauren clutched at the towel bunched to her chest with both hands, and her elbows tucked to her sides. A shrill yelp rushed past her throat as Zach breathed a curse.
The realization that it was Zach she’d bumped into half-naked fueled her racing heart. In fact, a searing heat crawled up her chest to her face and ears as she stared at him with wide eyes.
Too close. Way too close.
Zach jerked his hands from her arms and stepped away until his back hit the wall. “What are you doing?”
What was with the tone? He spat the question at her as if she’d thrown herself at him on purpose. She nodded at the door to her bedroom on Zach’s left side. “I was walking across the hall to get my clothes!”
Zach covered his eyes with his hand. “Can’t you do that when I’m not around?”
“I didn’t know you were around! I just got home, and I went straight to my shower. Sue me!”
Zach didn’t move from his rigid position against the wall. “Where have you been?” he asked loudly, still blinded by his hand.
He was going to stop by, unannounced and late, and question her about where she’d been? Not a chance. “Nowhere. Where were you?” she countered.
“You don’t trust me?” he asked, still talking louder than necessary for the small hallway they were wedged in.
“No.” The truth slipped from her lips without a warning. The raised voices and irritation clawing up her chest probably had something to do with the bite in her tone.
“Good,” he quipped, still covering his eyes like some legendary evil monster might turn him to stone if he peeked.
“You don’t trust me?” she asked, fueled by the adrenaline coursing through her veins and a firm grip on her towel.
Zach slowly dropped his hand and pinned his gaze on her, keeping his line of sight level with her eyes. “No. The only person I trust is me.”
The heat from earlier dissipated, leaving her cold and exposed.
She still didn’t understand Zach, and while she’d been trying to put her best foot forward, she’d never been this vulnerable and close to him before.
She was helpless and completely at the mercy of a man who could take full advantage of her at any moment.
He took a step forward, and she countered with her own step away from him. Her back hit the doorframe, and she pressed against it.
Zach stopped and looked her up and down, his gaze lighting a fire over her skin until he met her stare again. “There’s no honor among thieves, angel. Don’t forget that.”
He turned his body to squeeze through the open bathroom door behind her, closing it with a sharp thud that jolted her lungs back into working order.
She sucked in the chilled air as she darted into her bedroom. Her trembling hand fumbled for the lock on the door. She would not be afraid of Zach Wilson, at least not in front of him. Not after all she’d done to overcome the fear.
He hadn’t hurt her. He could have, but he didn’t. That had to count for something. Right? Whether or not she presented herself in a towel, he could hurt her anytime he wanted.
Or was he letting her think she could trust him so he could pull off a really elaborate scheme later?
She fumbled through her drawers for pajamas and jerked them on. How could she think clearly without being fully clothed? When she had on her fuzzy pants and an old Yellowstone National Park hoodie, she sat on the end of her bed and squeezed her wet hair out with the towel.
He couldn’t have seen anything. All the important parts had been covered. Shoulders and ankles weren’t scandalous anymore. Still, she found it difficult to breathe when she remembered his warm hands on her arms and the look in his eyes as he scanned her from head to toe.
She knew how it felt to be restrained by a man who wanted to force her to submit.
She knew the strength in the grip and the urgency of every move meant to make her cower.
Sure, Zach had gripped her arms when she bumped into him, and she’d quickly reacted, but he hadn’t put any power into the hold.
He’d meant to steady both of them, not pin her down.
The more she breathed, the more she could see her overreaction. They’d both been yelling, but it all stemmed from shock. She hadn’t expected to meet him in the hallway, clothed or not.
She glanced at the nightstand where her Bible and notebook waited. The fire died out of her exaggeration, and reality was settling in around her once again. The lesson wasn’t going to write itself, and she’d eventually have to face Zach again too. She might as well get it over with.
When she lifted the Bible and notebook, there was a soft stirring in her heart. She wasn’t alone in this, and she could use all the help she could get. The well-worn leather was soft against her palm as she closed her eyes and took in a cleansing breath.
“Lord, I don’t know what I’m doing. Help me see. Protect me. Show me what I should do. I need a lesson for the kids tomorrow, and I need to know what to do with Zach. I really have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into.”
She pressed the Bible to her chest, hugging it like a beloved teddy bear that could give comfort to the innocent. “Help me to be calm so I can hear You.”
Lifting her chin, she kept the Bible close to her chest as she stepped out into the hallway. The bathroom door was open, and rustling came from the laundry room. Normally, she’d help out with whatever project he was working on, but she had other priorities tonight.
She settled onto the couch with her legs tucked beside her and opened her Bible to the book of Jonah. For the first time in months, she could see the message clearly outlined in her mind. Her pencil scraped furiously over the page as she took notes and wrote questions for the kids.
When she finished the lesson, another quickly and distinctly pieced itself together in her mind.
She flipped to the book of Judges and scribbled notes about Samson and the Philistines.
Another idea led her to Joshua. The themes were vivid as she filled page after page of the notebook with lessons for the next few weeks.
When her eyelids grew heavy, she closed the Bible and stretched her arms above her head. The clock on the wall said she’d been engrossed in the Bible for three hours.
Her mouth was dry, and she needed to get in bed if she had any chance of waking up in time for church in the morning. She slipped her Bible and notebook into her bag and placed it by the door before padding to the kitchen.
Zach stepped out of the laundry room with a black smudge across his cheek and a pad and pen in his hand.
Lauren stopped with her hand on the refrigerator door. She’d been so engrossed in her studies that she’d forgotten about him.
The exchange in the hallway came rushing back. The embarrassment, the yelling. She hadn’t handled any of it well, and a nervous itch crawled over her arms.
“What are you still doing here?” she asked softly.
He looked up, and there was a quick flash of surprise on his face before he turned his attention to the toolbox on the counter. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. And…sorry about earlier.”
Lauren wrapped her arms around her, creating a shield from the cold vulnerability that clung to her after the incident in the hallway. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
Zach let out a huff but didn’t look up at her. “Every man in a fifty-mile radius has threatened my life if I so much as speak a wrong word to you, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.”
Great. She was trying to show him that he was a person who deserved a chance, and the rest of the world was intent on keeping him in the same box he’d always been in. It wouldn’t do any good to address it. Zach was stubborn when it came to doing and seeing things the way they’d always been.
She picked up two bottles of water and handed one to him as he picked up the toolbox. When his hand wrapped around the bottle, she didn’t release it. “I didn’t think you were afraid of anyone.”
He finally met her gaze, and the fire from earlier was nowhere to be found. His mouth lifted slightly on one side as he flashed her a wink. “I’m not.”
She released the bottle, and the cold slipped from her hand. Zach was halfway to the front door before he called out, “Good night, angel.”
Good night. That was what she should have said, but the words were jammed in her throat. She stared at the closed door as she tried to make sense of everything.
Zach Wilson had stumped her once again.