Chapter 23 Zach #2
Everything she was saying was wrong. Lauren had always been the picture-perfect person in Zach’s mind. She was smart, strong, and selfless, and realizing that she’d once been so fragile was tough to comprehend.
She took a deep breath and stared at the silent TV.
“I can do anything for twenty minutes. That’s what I always told myself.
” She turned to Zach with a steady gaze.
“Do you know why? Because the night my parents overdosed, Anthony told me the police would be there in twenty minutes. I was ten years old when I sat in a house with my two dead parents for twenty minutes.”
“Good grief, Lauren.” Zach rubbed a hand down his face. “I had no idea.”
She shrugged. “I don’t like to advertise it. I went into the foster system, and it wasn’t bad. Anthony insisted we stay together, but he had a hard time fitting in. A few families rejected us because he was difficult.”
“So, how do you know God was the one who did all these things? If he loved you, why wouldn’t he just give you a better life?”
“I have a great life. Believing that God is our Creator and Father doesn’t mean we get a free pass from pain.
Nothing in the Bible says that we’re promised a peaceful path.
In fact, we’re warned that it will be difficult.
This world isn’t our home, and it’s full of sin.
We are full of sin. We have free will, and sometimes that means we make mistakes. ”
“But you didn’t make any,” Zach said.
She let out a single chuckle. “You’re so wrong. I make mistakes all the time. The reason I don’t cripple under the shame and guilt is because the Lord forgives me when I come to Him and repent.”
“Yeah? Well, you haven’t made nearly as many mistakes as I have.”
She smiled. “The fact that you label them mistakes is a starting point. But God doesn’t put a limit on our remorse. It’s never too late to humble yourself and turn things around.”
Zach squirmed in his seat. “I’m still not sure that applies to me.”
She scooted closer and kept talking. “When I apologized to you for what I said, did you forgive me?”
“Yeah,” Zach said.
“And when you apologized to me for what you did all those years ago, did I forgive you?”
Zach narrowed his eyes. “I think so.”
“I did. And isn’t our relationship better for it? Look at us. We’re closer than ever, even though we made mistakes.” She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and started typing.
She was right. He hadn’t stepped back to take a look at their relationship, but there was no doubt they were stronger now than ever before.
She held up a finger and read from the screen.
“What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountain and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.”
“Why are you talking about sheep? Maybe you need to call it a day and get some rest.”
“That’s from the book of Matthew, but it’s also in the book of Luke.
That’s what the Bible says about God’s people who are lost. We’re the sheep.
Do you know sheep are incredibly stupid and have zero defenses against predators?
Yeah, that’s us. We’re the sheep and the Lord is our Shepherd.
When one of us is lost, He notices and goes after us.
When we’re found, He doesn’t chastise us for running off. He rejoices.”
Zach didn’t move. Her explanation sort of made sense, but it was also too good to be true. Every bad deed required a punishment, and Zach knew that truth better than Lauren’s sheep story. “You got all that from a paragraph about a sheep?”
She slid her phone back into her pocket and grinned at him like she’d just won a spelling bee. “Yep.”
Zach stared into his dark coffee. She had a radiance that refused to be ignored. Where did she get that kind of confidence and happiness? “You make me wonder if there’s more to life than just surviving, angel.”
“There is,” she said quickly.
Man, she actually believed everything she was telling him. Lauren was ten times smarter than him. Maybe he should try things her way, but maybe that life wasn’t meant for him. Being cast back down to the bottom of the barrel would be so much harder the further he climbed up.
He took a deep breath and faced her. “I’m messed up, but… please don’t give up on me. Everyone else has.”
She smiled and shrugged one shoulder like she hadn’t just shaken everything he believed in. She wore a smile like a loaded gun, and he was lucky to be her target. “I’m not the type to give up.” She picked up the remote and restarted the documentary. “I really want to see this. Stop distracting me.”
Zach couldn’t look away from her. He wanted more of her. He wanted every scrap that would fall from her table because he didn’t deserve a seat beside her.
If there was a God, He wouldn’t allow a man like Zach to end up with a woman like Lauren.