Chapter 34 Zach
Zach
Zach lifted the mug of water to his lips as Lauren’s shoulders rose and fell for the ten thousandth time. There was no way she had any idea how close she’d been to danger last night. She knew about the storm, but she’d been mere feet from the devil’s lair.
He could protect her from them, but not if he didn’t even know she was there.
Secrets. Truth. She’d been preaching about feelings and honesty for months, but he was about to get the whole story. He’d let her rest through the morning, but they were stuck in this house together now. It was time for a reckoning.
She rolled over on the couch and her eyes flickered open. Her arm slowly reached over her head in a lazy stretch before she spotted him in the recliner.
Her brows furrowed as she looked around. The fire was still roaring in the fireplace, and despite the light outside, the curtains and blinds were closed.
“Good morning,” she whispered sleepily.
“Morning. Not sure if it’s a good one yet,” Zach quipped.
He’d spent the last evening and night reeling, letting the what-ifs run free. She’d chewed him up and spit him out, and she didn’t even know it.
Now, all that worry had shifted. It morphed into a carefully controlled rage that had him gripping the mug in his hands a little too tightly.
Lauren sat up, and the blanket fell into a heap in her lap. When the chill in the air hit her, she pulled it up to her shoulders. “The power isn’t on?”
Zach sat forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “Nope. Probably won’t be back for a while. We’d better get used to fireside chats. Speaking of chats, let’s have the one where you tell me what you were doing last night.”
Lauren stared at him, but she didn’t move. They were in a face-off, and Zach was determined to be the winner this time.
“Can I at least brush my teeth and get some water first?” she asked.
Fine. If she wanted to keep putting it off, he’d just have to wait for the big blow. He rested his mug on the end table and went to her side.
“I can do it myself,” she argued.
“Yeah, but I’d like to get this over with before dinner, so up you go.” He cradled her in his arms and headed for the bathroom.
Lauren didn’t say anything as he set her down in front of the bathroom sink and walked out the door. With his back resting against the wall, he watched the door until the knob turned.
When she opened the door, she looked everywhere except at him. His stomach sank. Whatever she’d been keeping from him had to be bad if she was this scared to tell him.
He picked her up and carried her back to the living room—the only room in the house that wasn’t freezing. When she was settled on one end of the couch, he took the other side, leaving plenty of room for the secrets between them.
Lauren picked at the edge of the blanket that was draped over her lap and kept her chin tucked to her chest.
“How’s your ankle?” Zach asked.
“A little better. I tried to put some weight on it in the bathroom, and it’s not nearly as sore as yesterday.”
“And your arm?”
“The bleeding stopped.”
“What about your back?” He’d noticed the small winces when he carried her. Each one was like a needle sticking into his eyeball.
“It’ll be fine,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “Are we gonna be fine?”
She inhaled a breath, but it was shaky. “I don’t know.”
“Tell me a story,” he said, as softly as he could muster with the adrenaline humming under his skin.
Keeping her attention on her hands in her lap, she whispered, “I got a tip about Anthony.”
The name was a flashing red sign in Zach’s head. Anthony. Zach hadn’t worried about Lauren searching for her cousin in months, but he’d been stupid to lower his guard. She’d promised to give up, and he’d trusted her.
“Say again?” he asked carefully.
She lifted her chin. “Someone called in a sighting. They spotted him a few days ago in Winchester, and yesterday someone saw him on Sumpter Road. I thought I had enough time to drive by the area before the storm.”
“And you ended up in the woods? From a drive-by?” His volume rose as he sat up straighter.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was stupid, but I saw a car and thought it might be him. I was going to see if I could at least find someone who could tell me if they’d seen him, but I slipped off the path and…”
He pushed his hands through his hair. “I can’t believe you were so stupid.”
“Hey, I said I know I made a mistake. I’m sorry I dragged you into this, but you don’t have to be mean.”
The pumping in his veins wouldn’t let him sit. Zach got to his feet and paced in front of the fire. “This is more than a mistake. You have no idea where you were.” He stopped and turned to her. “You wandered into…” How could he even explain what his people were doing?
Lauren’s head tilted slightly. “Wandered into what?”
“You were on private property. Didn’t you see the signs?”
“No, but it was dark. I don’t think anyone would be mad if I knocked on their door and asked if they’d seen a missing person.”
“It isn’t a residence!” Zach shouted.
“It might be.”
“It’s not. It’s a warehouse.”
“An abandoned warehouse. So what?”
“It’s not abandoned. It’s a pit stop for gun runners!”
Lauren sat forward and pinned him with a hard stare. “How do you know?”
She had secrets, but he did too. They might as well meet the light of day at the same time. “Because I’m the ringleader!”
Lauren stared with wide eyes, but the silence didn’t calm his racing heart. It was better she knew the truth now. He’d let her get too close, and she had to stay as far away from his world as possible.
“You’ve been back there?” she asked, barely more than a whisper.
Her disappointment could have hurt him. It should have. He’d failed her, but that was something he’d expected. Apparently, she hadn’t been smart enough to see it coming.
“I have.”
She cradled her injured arm against her abdomen. “I thought you were happy. I thought you were trying to stay away from it.”
It took everything he had not to cower in the wake of the disappointed look she gave him. “Two things can be true.”
“Why?” she asked.
Zach shrugged. “Habit. That’s where I belong.”
Lauren pointed at him. “You know that’s not true. You don’t belong there, especially not now.”
“It’s a good thing I did. We don’t take prisoners, Lauren. We eliminate anyone who can tell our secrets. That means I didn’t have a choice. I had to go back, or they would have come after me.”
“No, you didn’t have to go back.”
“You’re not listening!” Zach turned around, paced in front of the fire, and faced her again. “If you had tripped any wires last night, and I hadn’t known where you were, you’d be gone. How am I supposed to protect you if I don’t know where you are?”
Lauren’s wide eyes looked all around the room. Everything he was saying was finally sinking in. She needed to remember the charges against him—the long list that had racked up a prison sentence.
“This isn’t some group of wayward kids, Lauren.
It’s a national organization. It takes everything I have to keep us off the most wanted lists—to keep us from being tracked by government organizations.
What I did to you wasn’t the only reason I got locked up.
We run guns from one side of the continent to the other. ”
“Okay. I get it.” Lauren held up a hand between them. “I just can’t believe you’re doing that stuff again.”
“And I can’t believe you went there! On your own. In a storm. Without telling anyone where you were. It’s a miracle you’re alive.”
She stared at the fire, stunned by either the revelation that he was back in the game or how close she’d come to death. “You said you’re the ringleader. What does that mean?”
Zach rubbed a hand over his face. Coming clean to Lauren was like confessing to all of his worst crimes.
How could he break down something so precise and complex into simple terms?
“It means I’m responsible for getting guns and narcotics through central Wyoming.
I have a team in place, but ultimately the buck stops with me. ”
Lauren stood on her good foot and swayed. “How—”
“With Rome dead and Bobby in prison, I was next in line. If I didn’t take the top spot, I couldn’t call the shots. You either use people or get used. Everyone is a pawn. I don’t like being controlled by anyone.”
She scoffed. “That’s the truth. It’s always about you. You’re so caught up in yourself that you can’t see the forest for the trees!”
Blood pumped wildly in Zach’s ears. Lauren was standing right in front of him, but she wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. “What about you, Miss Perfect? How dumb do you have to be to go walking around in the woods at night in a snowstorm?”
“I already admitted that was stupid. I understand the danger, but I’m not going to stop! I’m going to find him.” She pointed toward the front door. “If he’s out there, I’m going to find him. I know something is up. I know it in my bones.”
“You can’t be serious! Lauren, please give it up.” He’d never begged for anything in his life, but he wasn’t above it when Lauren’s safety was concerned.
“Anthony is out there! People have seen him!”
The fire in Zach’s veins ran cold. If Anthony was spotted near the warehouse, Zach had even more problems. The last time he saw Anthony, the guy had asked all the wrong questions and dug up a bunch of things he shouldn’t have known.
The money he owed was only half the reason he’d been looking for Anthony the night they took Lauren.
“Wait. What do you know?” Zach asked.
“What do you mean? I wish I knew something. I’ve had to fight for every scrap of information on him for years. What do you know?”
Zach studied her, running everything he knew about Anthony and Lauren in his head. Did she really not know what she’d stumbled into, or was she in on it with her cousin? Every wall he’d lowered for her went straight back up.
“Anthony knew things he shouldn’t have. You’ve been sneaking around where you don’t belong.”
“Stop right there.” She leveled him with a heated stare. “Don’t you dare accuse me of things. The only sneaking I’ve done is searching for my cousin. I just want to find Anthony. I’m not against you.”
“Even if I’m still a criminal? Come on. You know the line between right and wrong. You’re on one side, and I’m on the other. That makes us enemies. Good versus evil.”
“It does not,” she said, firm and forceful. “We’re human. I make mistakes just like you do, and sometimes, despite what you think, you make good decisions too. Stop erasing everything good you’ve done. I’m tired of it!”
She limped the three steps between them and reached for his hand, but he pulled it back.
“Look at me,” she begged. “You matter to me. It terrifies me that you might end up back in prison or dead. It keeps me up at night more than the nightmares. But Anthony matters to me too. I can’t give up on him just like I can’t give up on you.”
Zach shook his head. She couldn’t do this. He couldn’t keep up with her, run a business, work a full-time job, and succeed at any of it. “You can’t do this,” he said.
“Then help me,” she begged. “I can’t do it on my own.”
“You shouldn’t do it at all!”
“Do you really want to get out of there? Help me, and we can find Anthony and do it all with law enforcement behind us.” She held up a hand, cutting off what he was about to say. “I know you said you wouldn’t become an informant, but it’s your only way out.”
Steam was probably coming out of his ears. Despite the cold outside, he was burning up. Why did she have to be right? It was the only way he might be able to leave the business. It wasn’t guaranteed to work. Even then, he’d spend the rest of his life looking over his shoulder.
If he wanted any kind of a life with Lauren, which he selfishly did, she would always be at risk. She was his weakness, and anyone who knew about her could use that against him.
He rubbed his hands over his face. This was so messed up. Everything was messed up, and the fear of losing her was growing by the second. “I have to get to the warehouse and check the cameras. If I can get to the footage before anyone else, I can delete the evidence.”
“What evidence?”
“You! I can make sure you’re nowhere on the radar.”
“And check for Anthony too?” she asked.
“Oh, I’ll be checking for him too. If he’s anywhere near here, he’s in trouble. He must have a death wish.”
“So, you’ll help me?”
“I’m not helping you! I’m saving you. Please understand the difference.”
She reached for his hand again, and he didn’t have the willpower to pull away. Her delicate hand wrapped around his as she cradled it to her chest. “Please. We can do this together. I trust you. No more secrets. You and me.”
We. You and me. She was using all the words he’d stupidly hoped to hear, but the circumstances were all wrong.
“You have to know how dangerous this is,” he said, pleading that she would see this from all sides.
“I believe you. I really do. And I promise to be careful and listen to you, but I’m doing it either way.” Her words were final, laced with a determination that was both admirable and made his blood pressure rise.
He turned his hand to clasp hers. If they were stuck here for who knows how long, they might as well get along. “No one is doing anything right now. Can we not talk about it?”
Her hold on his hand relaxed and she nodded. “Okay.”
Zach nodded toward the couch. “You sit. I’m going to find us something to eat.”
Maybe he could think of a way to get her out of this if he wasn’t looking into her pleading eyes, but staying away from her was going to be tough now that they were snowed in together.