Chapter 17
Tiddas chat 3
22 September 2023
Bridie:
@Brynn Sis, you just hit 2k on TikTok! You’re gonna be an influencer!
Dotty:
Jesus, they’re multiplying
It’s lucky, in the end, that Lucas does come back to the apartment with me because I walk into another disaster zone. I find a huge black rabbit in the lobby that was not included in my introductions with the housekeeper. Lucas watches me curiously as I pick up the heavy rabbit and we venture further inside.
We’re in the hallway of Mrs Van Der Steen’s floor when a small boy with curly red hair comes out of the animal room. He looks about five or six years old and is clutching a bag of potato chips, shovelling them into his mouth and leaving a trail of crumbs. Around his neck, like a grotesque necklace, is Bo-Bo the snake.
Out of his tank the snake looks massive. His tail trails along the ground behind the boy. My heart leaps into my throat.
‘You see that, right?’ I ask Lucas.
‘Small child, huge yellow snake for a necklace?’ I’m sure the horror on Lucas’ face mirrors my own.
‘Hey! That’s my bunny,’ the little boy squeaks. He drops the chip packet on the ground, spilling more out, and rushes forward, reaching to take the rabbit.
‘Do you think that’s a good idea while you’ve got Bo-Bo?’ I ask, still kind of breathless.
‘Of course I do, they’re best friends.’ He reaches out and, because I don’t want to touch the snake, I don’t exactly fight him for the rabbit.
He skips off down the hallway. Lucas and I glance at each other and follow him into one of the apartment’s endless bedrooms.
‘This is my room,’ he says. ‘When I stay here. Who are you two, anyway?’
‘Um, well, I’m Brynn and this is Lucas. I’m looking after the animals for the weekend. What’s your name?’
The kid gets up on the bed, holding the rabbit, snake still wrapped around his neck, and starts bouncing. Expensive-looking bedding flies everywhere and no doubt his shoes are leaving marks on the covers.
‘You’re funny. Where’s Daisy?’
I bite my lip. ‘Um, Daisy’s ...’
‘Did he go for a walk by himself again?’ the kid interjects. ‘He does that all the time. It’s Grandma’s fault, she always lets him go do whatever he wants and then his sitters lose him. He gets out of the apartment too, you know? He knows what the elevator ding sounds like and sometimes he comes downstairs to visit me.’
‘You live downstairs?’
‘Course I do.’
‘So, what’s your name? And where’s your mum?’ I ask.
‘You talk funny. I’m Milo and my nanny is downstairs in my apartment and my momma’s shopping or having lunch. Is it lunchtime? Maybe she’s having dinner.’
‘That’s about right,’ Lucas says and I elbow him playfully in the ribs (and then recoil in horror that I’ve been so familiar with him) (and then I get over that when it registers just how muscly he felt).
‘Where’s my grandma?’ Milo asks.
‘Milo, hold still.’ Lucas steps forward and when I see the expression on his face, my heart starts thudding again. He looks frightened. ‘Is that a mouse in your pocket?’
Milo stops bouncing and looks down at his trouser pocket. ‘Yep,’ he beams. ‘I got ten out, but I think he’s the only one Bo-Bo hasn’t eaten.’
I’m horrified at the thought of nine mice running around in the apartment where I’m going to be sleeping, but judging by the look on Lucas’s face, that isn’t what’s worrying him.
‘Don’t you think you should put Bo-Bo back in his house? That mouse is probably making him feel a bit hungry,’ he says.
Milo giggles and pauses in his bouncing. ‘No, silly. Bo-Bo had his lunch two days ago. I feeded him the black mousey.’
But no sooner have the words come out of his mouth, than I notice that Bo-Bo is looking at the mouse with interest. If a snake can possibly look at anything with interest. He slides down Milo’s side and rears up, the way snakes do when they’re about to strike.
‘Look out!’ I yell, but of course there is nowhere for Milo to go with the mouse in his pocket and the snake draped around his neck. He can’t exactly run away. Bo-Bo strikes and Milo screams. He drops the rabbit who jumps straight off the bed and takes off.
‘Waaaaah! Bo-Bo bited me!’ he screams, throwing himself onto the bed and clutching at his leg.
Lucas and I spring to action. I’m pleased that when we get to the screaming boy, Lucas doesn’t hesitate to extricate Bo-Bo from Milo’s neck, which means I don’t have to touch him.
‘Where’s the animal room?’
‘Down the hall, second door on the right. His tank is the one with all the lights.’
He takes off and leaves me to deal with Milo.
‘Honey, I’m going to roll up your pant leg so I can see if he got you—is that okay?’
‘He did get me, he did get me,’ he sobs.
‘Where, where did he get you?’
He’s clutching at his calf, so I roll the pants up a little way, silently praying that there will be nothing. But, to my dismay I find two bleeding puncture marks.
Lucas comes back into the room. ‘What’s the damage?’
I make a face and show him the wound. ‘Do pythons have venom?’
‘I don’t know, but I think we better call 911.’
I nod. ‘I’ll do that. Can you please go to the intercom near the lift lobby and see if one of the doormen downstairs knows which apartment he belongs to?’
He goes and I take my mobile out of my pocket and call the ambulance. About two minutes later, Milo’s sobs have eased and I’m rubbing my fingers over his brow, which is sweaty and clammy. I hope he’s quieting down because the pain and the shock is over, not because the 911 people were wrong and there is poison in Bo-Bo’s venom. I hear the elevator ding and Lucas and a huge lady burst in through the door with Daisy trotting along behind them. I wish I could feel relieved that the little grey dog has managed to get himself home as promised.
‘Milo, Milo, what’s happened?’ The woman plonks herself on the bed and goes to pull him into her arms.
‘They said he should try and stay still—the people at 911. Are you his nanny?’
‘I take care of him. Who are you?’
‘I’m Brynn, the pet-sitter.’ I wish I could have said “I take care of the animals,” but she doesn’t look like the type of person who’d appreciate my wit.
‘And what was Milo doing up here with the snake out of the cage?’ she asks.
‘I don’t know, playing with him, I guess. I was out taking Daisy on his walk and Milo was here with his rabbit when I got back.’
She opens her mouth as though she’s going to add something, but then Geoff the doorman arrives with the paramedics and Lucas and I kind of get shuffled to the side.
‘I will call his grandmother and tell her what’s happened,’ the nanny says. ‘You stay here with the animals for now, but I think you ought to get yourself ready to go home tonight.’
I nod and Lucas and I stand in the lift lobby, watching the sad procession leave.
‘So,’ Lucas says, ‘I don’t suppose now would be a good time to tell you that the only cage in there with an animal still in residence is the one with the grey rabbit?’
My heart leaps into my throat. ‘Oh my god ,’ I say. ‘The spider’s out?’
I pull my phone out again and call Hilde.
She arrives half an hour later. I tell Lucas a thousand times that he can go, but he helps me move my things into the lobby, finds two mice while I find the black rabbit and deliver him down to the fifth floor into the arms of a maid, who smiles and pats me on the arm.
‘Thank you for bringing Popper home, the boy will be happy to see him when he gets back.’
‘How is he, have you heard?’
She hasn’t heard anything, but she’s nice enough to take my phone number and promises to call.
Hilde looks smug when I explain what has happened. She doesn’t say she’s had trouble with Daisy running away in the past, or that Mrs Van Der Steen wouldn’t like her being here because, technically, she’s been fired. She calmly goes into the animal room and starts checking terrariums. She opens a cupboard and pulls out a black and white composition book and runs her finger down a column of numbers.
‘Milo says he had nine mice out? And the records here show that there were nineteen spread through all these cages So, nineteen mice out and Harry the tarantula and Lilly, the iguana.’
‘There was an iguana? No one told me that.’
‘They don’t put her on the list because you don’t need to feed her.’
The three of us scout around the apartment and manage to get two mice back in the cages. At nine, Hilde takes Daisy out for another walk while Lucas and I finish cleaning up and manages to get out and back in half an hour with no mention of any escape attempts.
Hilde’s phone rings at ten and it’s Mrs Van Der Steen. As soon as Hilde hangs up, my phone rings.
‘Brynn,’ she says, her tone exactly the same as it was when she first called and asked me to work. ‘I’ve heard what has happened and I’m on my way home. Hilde will stay with the other animals for the rest of the weekend. Thank you for your services.’
I don’t even get a chance to apologise as she hangs up as soon as she’s finished speaking.
‘Well,’ I say to Lucas, ‘the least I can do after all that is buy you a drink.’