Chapter 30 Ashes in Lipstick
Ashes in Lipstick
Remi
The second we step through the tall glass doors of the Lakeshore Reserve, I feel the nerves tighten in my stomach.
This is a big deal.
Coleman’s hand settles on the small of my back as if he knows. Like he can feel every little flutter happening inside me. And somehow, that small touch grounds me.
The Lakeshore Reserve is even more stunning than I imagined—polished wood, gold accents, deep leather booths tucked into arched alcoves. It's the kind of place that whispers wealth without having to say a word.
Just like him.
He leans in and murmurs, “They’ll love you.”
I nod, swallowing past the nerves, and let him guide me toward the back where his friends—his chosen family—are waiting.
Langston is the first one I notice. He’s gorgeous in a way that makes your brain short circuit—clean-cut, crisp shirt with the top two buttons undone, and a jawline carved by the gods. His smile is easy, charming, and practiced. The kind of smile that makes women blush and men hate themselves.
Next to him, Harvey is like a wall of muscle and ink, dressed down in a faded black tee that stretches across his chest and arms. He looks more like someone you'd find behind the wheel of a tow truck than in an upscale bar, but there’s a quiet comfort to him.
A softness behind the roughness. Like under all that gruff, there’s a giant teddy bear waiting to be discovered.
Nathan gives off a different kind of energy.
He’s warm, approachable, but there’s something…
sad behind his eyes. Like he’s the one in the group who carries the weight for all of them but never lets it show for too long.
His hand is wrapped around a glass of whiskey, but his attention is fully on me when we approach.
Dean couldn’t make it, Coleman had said, training camp started up again. But I’ve met Dean before. Luka introduced me. Another man cut from the same cloth as these—fiercely loyal and carved out of solid purpose.
“Guys,” Coleman says, nodding to the group. “This is Remi.”
Langston stands first, holding out his hand with that smile that probably gets him into a lot of trouble. “So you’re the woman who’s finally tamed our brooding beast. He hasn’t shut up about you.”
“Tamed is generous,” I laugh, shaking his hand.
“Surviving’s impressive enough,” Nathan adds, standing to greet me as well. “He can be a lot.”
“Understatement,” Harvey grunts, but there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes. “Nice to meet you, Remi.”
“You too,” I say, finding my place next to Coleman as he slides into the booth beside me.
He doesn’t let go of my hand. Just holds it beneath the table like it’s the most natural thing in the world, his thumb brushing slow, lazy circles against my palm.
And just like that, I feel it again—that shift.
This week has been perfect. Not some romanticized illusion.
Real. Tactile. Full of soft glances during the day and stolen touches that make my skin burn.
He worships my body like it’s a religion every night, and during the day, it’s all those little things—his hand on my back, his smile when he looks at me like I’m his entire world.
And I think I’m starting to believe it.
This moment—this night—is something I want to remember forever.
And if I’m being honest?
It feels like just the beginning.
It’s hot for a Tuesday in mid August, and I’m just stepping out of Perk It Up, my iced coffee in one hand and my phone in the other, already texting Matthew to let him know I’m heading his way.
Coleman took the girls to orientation this morning. I didn’t go.
Not because I didn’t want to—I did. God, I did.
But something about that day felt sacred.
Something a father should do with his daughters alone.
A moment they’ll always remember. Just the three of them.
So I stayed back, told Coleman I had things to handle at the apartment with Matthew.
Which wasn’t a lie, but maybe it was just an excuse.
Maybe it was me trying to create space that wasn’t there.
And now I wish I’d never walked out this damn door.
She’s standing on the sidewalk like she was plucked straight from the ashes of a nightmare.
Stella.
Her red lipstick is smeared just enough to make her look messy instead of put together, and her hair is curled like she tried to look perfect… but didn’t quite pull it off.
My chest tightens, throat going dry as our eyes meet.
“Well, well,” she drawls, her voice soaked in venom. “If it isn’t the live-in nanny playing house.”
I blink, trying to move past her, refusing to give her what she wants. But I should know better.
“You really think this is gonna last, don’t you?” she sneers, taking a slow step closer. “That you can fuck your way into a family and just become one of us?”
I stop. Not because I want to, but because my heart slams into my ribs like it’s trying to crack them from the inside. Her words hit places I wish they didn’t. Places still raw and open.
She circles me like a vulture, low heels clicking against the pavement. “You’re loud, Remi. Too loud. You don’t belong with someone like Coleman. You’re the opposite of everything he’s ever wanted. And trust me… eventually? He’ll remember that.”
I clench my jaw. “The girls are happy.”
“Sure, for now.” Her grin is wicked. “But let’s not pretend they aren’t just clinging to the first woman who doesn’t abandon them. Once he’s had his fun playing house with you? He’ll get bored.”
I want to scream at her. I want to shove her backwards and remind her she lost every right to speak about those girls the day she chose a bottle over being their mother. But the words lodge in my throat.
Because part of me—the deepest, darkest part—believes her.
And she sees it. The moment of hesitation. The flicker of doubt.
She leans in like she’s already won. “You’re not forever. You’re just the opposite of me. That’s why he wants you. But once the dust settles? You’ll just be a distraction he once needed.”
My hand tightens around my coffee cup, the plastic crackling beneath my grip. I don’t say anything.
I just turn and walk to my car.
But the silence in the car is louder than any argument I could’ve had with her. I can still hear her voice echoing in my head. Still feel the truth of her poison seeping into places I swore were healed.
What if she’s right?
What if I’m not forever?
What if I’m just safe?
By the time I get home, my stomach is in knots. I pace the hallway outside my room, my chest so tight I can’t breathe right. I hear the girls’ laughter from this morning. Coleman’s deep voice as he teases them. It was perfect. All of it.
Too perfect.
Because it won’t last.
Because one day, it’ll be me who’s not enough.
I slip into my room, shut the door, and move on autopilot.
I pack.
Nothing much. Just the things I need to go back to the apartment. I won’t leave the girls. I can’t. But I also can’t stay in this house pretending like my heart isn’t on the verge of being shattered.
I pull a notepad from my drawer and sit at the edge of the bed. The words take everything in me to write:
Coleman,
I never meant for this to happen.
I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. With them. With us.
But I did.
And now I’m terrified.
Because someone like you… you weren’t meant for someone like me. I’m too much, and you deserve something easier. Something quieter. Something perfect.
I told myself I wouldn’t get attached. That I was just here for the girls.
But now I know the truth.
I’m leaving before I lose everything. Before you decide I was only ever a distraction.
I’ll still pick the girls up after school. I’ll still be there. Just not… here.
—Remi
My hands shake as I fold the letter and place it on his pillow.
Then I pick up my bag, glance one last time at the room that started to feel like home, and slip out the door.
Quietly.
Just like the goodbye I never wanted to give.