Chapter 35
“Do we need a condom?” Emily tried to remember everything she knew about sex.
“A condom?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m on the pill for safety measures, but—”
Her answer evoked a guffaw from Nicolas. She looked at him as she sat on his lap, confused.
“I’m not going to have sex with you, Emily.”
“Oh,” was all she could say as she started to ease him off. He gripped her by the shoulders and gently pushed her back down onto him.
Her eyes flew up in surprise at the pressure she sat on.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
His eyes studied her face, and realization hit him. “Oh…God no, Em, I didn’t mean it like that,” he corrected. “I just thought it’d be best to go slow this time.” His words were hasty, but she caught every word.
“Slow?”
“Well, my definition of it.”
“Mind telling me what that includes?”
They’d annihilated the no intimacy rule for a while now, so what’s the point of slow? It felt like he was tugging her back and forth.
Stupid eighteenth-century dance, part of her hissed the reminder.
Nicolas smiled at her eagerness, confirming her suspicions, again, that he thrived off her wanting him. His hand dusted the area between her collarbones. “Many things. I’ll make sure you enjoy them though.”
She squirmed.
“I like your skirt,” he started, his voice low. “It’s hot. Shows off your great legs.”
His hand moved and traced the skin at her exposed thighs.
“Other than that time in the bathroom, have you ever had an orgasm before, Emily?”
The invasive question knocked the air out of her lungs. It didn’t help that his fingers started circular patterns on her skin.
He looked at her intently, waiting for an answer.
“Yes,” she breathed, the redness in her cheeks making a long-awaited appearance. “But never like that.”
”You mean by nipple play?”
“Is that what it’s called?”
His fingers trailed along her cheeks. “Yes, that’s what it’s called.”
She’d half-expected him to look taken aback by her not knowing the term, but he didn’t. He was simply Nicolas, focusing on her feelings instead of invalidating them.
“So, you’ve never come that way, huh?”
“No,” she breathed.
“Now I’m even more curious,” he said, sounding like he was talking more to himself.
She opened her mouth but he was already on the move. He drew closer to her lips. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve wanted you?”
Emily’s breath hitched. “I think I have an idea.”
He shook his head as if the mere naivety of what she’d said did him in. “I don’t think you do.” He gripped her chin. “Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you?”
The muscles inside the deepest part of her clenched. A pain so sweet and sharp.
Leaning down, he claimed her neck. He nipped and sucked at the spot. His lips were demanding against her skin. In between, he unbuttoned her shirt. Featherlight kisses sprawled across her jaw, her chin, and the corners of her mouth. Slowly, he peeled her shirt off and let it fall to the floor.
He stood back, gazing at her. Her rose pink lacy perfect-fit bra stole his attention.
“Oh God, Em.” His voice was shaky. “Your skin…it’s perfect. I want to trace every inch of it. Come on, stand. Let me see all of you.”
She hesitated, color rising to her cheeks. “It’s not perfect. I have stretch marks.”
They’d been caused by her past weight loss and were suckers to get rid of.
Nicolas tilted his head, one brow lifting in defiance. Then, without a word, he bent his neck and pressed his mouth gently to one of the silvery lines etched across her skin. The gesture was so delicate it took her breath away.
“Exactly,” he whispered. “That’s what makes it perfect. Now stand.”
She buried her face in his chest, groaning into the fabric like she could disappear into it. After a beat, she straightened, rising to her feet with resolve.
Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip as his gaze swept over her. She felt like a canvas under scrutiny by its painter, every flaw suddenly exposed yet cherished.
“Absolute perfection,” he said, and the words landed like an atomic bomb.
She blinked, trying to gather what was left of her. The gravity in his tone left her momentarily suspended.
Nicolas stood up and instinctively, her gaze dropped to the floor. He loomed above her, not in a way that intimidated, but in a way that enveloped. The air between them quivered, like two magnetized ends threatened by the inevitable pull toward each other.
His arms slid around her waist, drawing her into the solid warmth of his chest. Her breath caught as her boobs pressed snugly against him.
Her eyes met his at the contact. There was no escaping him in that moment. Not that she wanted to.
“I can’t believe I’m going to have all of you for the rest of my life,” he breathed.
Emily trembled at the genuineness of his voice.
For the rest of his life? Was that a promise?
If not, she’d make it become one. He was looking at her like the chances of them being together, or at all, had been nothing than a past wish he’d set aside and tucked away in some deep, dark part of him.
But now he could take it out, dust it off and start believing in it again.
“How fortunate it is that another man hasn’t swept you off your feet. Well, taking all things into consideration, I guess he failed to keep you afloat, didn’t he?” he asked, remembering her wretched ex-fiancé.
His fingers dug into her skin with a desperate plea. “I promise I won’t let you drown. God, you’re so beautiful.” He ran his hand through his hair as if he couldn’t fathom the image of her.
Beautiful.
Emily was swept with pleasure. Nicolas Re thought she was beautiful.
She’d been told that by many people, but no one had quite the effect like he did.
When he said it, it felt like a truth, not a label.
It made something inside her melt like liquid fire.
There was no performance in his voice. No expectation in his eyes.
He wasn’t admiring a version of her she’d curated.
He was seeing all of her—scars and all—and engulfing them into that one word: beautiful.
He grasped her hair which incited a gasp from her. “I really fucking love your hair,” he confessed.
Then he snapped. Both hands in it. Gripping. Tugging. Emily moaned as his tongue coaxed her lips for entrance. She let him in with a sound unbecoming of her.
He held her hip tighter after hearing it. One hand stayed tangled in her hair. And the other that rested below went lower.
His palm found her ass. Then he squeezed one cheek. Hard.
She blushed a furious red against his lips.
He gave an appreciative swat of her butt before his eyes locked onto hers.
“I figured out what we should do,” he mumbled against her lips, hot breath fanning out of his mouth and washing over her skin.
At this point, Emily didn’t care what he did. If she was with him, anything was fine. More than fine, actually. That would be perfect.
She barely noticed when Nicolas’s hands journeyed and they rested on the waistband of her panties, his lips still melded with her own.
Slowly, his fingers dipped past her mound to brush against the clothed core causing a small squeak to rip from Emily’s throat. Her hips immediately bucked forward. He didn’t seem to mind. If anything, he looked pleased, focusing all his attention right where she needed him most.
“Are you scared?” he asked, noticing the tremor in her body. “Scared to let me in like this?”
Her eyes flickered over his face silently. It took all she could to muster a faint, “I think so.”
She saw it hit him. He was suddenly aware of just how vulnerable Emily was in this moment.
He reached for her hand, intertwining it with his. With a gentle tug, he drew her into his orbit. His space, world, him.
Just like that, the remaining distance between them dissipated.
“You don’t have to be scared,” Nicolas whispered. “You don’t have to do this, or anything, if you don’t want to—”
“I want to.”
He froze.
His eyes surveyed her for a second.
A soft sigh left him as he gave her one of those exclusive smiles. “Alright then. Well, I’m right here, Em. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere and I won’t hurt you. Trust me when I say this will bring you more pleasure than pain.”
She released a breath that she didn’t know she was holding in.
“Feeling more relaxed?” he noted.
“How’d you know?”
“Darling, your entire body just sagged against me.”
Emily giggled.
Nicolas smiled, but it vanished as quickly as it came. “Let’s proceed then, shall we?”