14. Amias
FOURTEEN
AMIAS
She looked good. The skin on her face was dewy and fresh. She wore no makeup, not that I could discern. Her lips…fuck, I could imagine them around my cock, and I got hard.
This was wrong, I knew that. I had a girlfriend, a woman who was expecting a fucking engagement ring. But my dick didn't seem to give a shit about that. My body wanted her; I could feel the sexual tension between us in the air.
Had I always felt this way about her and never admitted it as Hayes had suggested? Or was this new?
Her hair was loose, and I wanted to wrap my hands around the silky strands, holding her head as I fucked her mouth. I could imagine her on her knees right now, in front of me, servicing me.
I could smell roses whenever she was near. Would her pussy smell the same way? I wanted to taste her, hold her thighs apart as I made her come. She was always so controlled and focused. How would she look when she came? Would her eyes get hazy? Liquid with desire. Would her skin flush?
God! I was going to come in my pants if I didn't stop thinking about having sex with her.
"I…I want to give you a company car," I managed to say.
She was staring at her shoes but now she looked at me, confusion racing through her face. She swallowed. "Why? Managers don't get cars."
Actually, you had to be a Vice President before you got a car at Midas but how else could I give her a car without her going nuts? If I said I'd buy her one, she'd not accept. This seemed like the safest way.
"Think of it as a retention bonus," I managed to choke out. HR was going to kill me for this. But there had to be some perks to being a CEO. If I couldn’t help an employee, then what the fuck was the point.
She cleared her throat. "What exactly did Darren say?" she whispered.
"Where did that come from?"
"What did Darren say at the restaurant after I left? He didn't tell me. But I knew he was furious, and he doesn't have much of a filter."
"He was angry with your brother about him not going to the cemetery with you. He was furious about you carrying your father's medical debt." And he was pissed with me for letting you feel I'd done you and your brother a favor by hiring you.
"And you thought you'd help me out with a car?"
"It's winter, Naya. I want you safe."
"You'll buy cars for all managers now?" she asked timidly.
"You know I won't."
"Then I can't accept. Also…."
"Also?"
She just shook her head. "It doesn't matter." She got up. "Was that it?"
"Why are you always running from me?"
"I'm not. I…the party and…."I walked to her and lifted her chin so she'd fucking look at me.
She licked her lips and I let out a groan.
My thumb traced her wet bottom lip, and I felt her shiver.
Her eyes were wide. Fucking hell! She was so responsive.
I pushed my thumb between her lips and when her mouth parted, I touched the underside of her lip.
My breathing was ragged, and I'd only touched her lips. I hadn't even kissed her, hadn't felt her up, nothing. My dick was harder than it had ever been. I wanted to lay her down on the couch, explore that body of hers, hear her moan. I wanted to be inside her and watch her as she orgasmed.
She pulled away and my hand dropped down.
"I have to go."
No, something inside me screamed.
"Why?"
She shook her head. "What…what is going on?"
Yeah, Amias, what the fuck is going on?
"Take the car, Naya."
"No." She was looking at me this time when she spoke. Her gray eyes flashing something, and I felt triumph roar through me. They were not clear and calm, they were…wet?
"Hey," I whispered.
She backed up again and bumped into a table, rattling the contents on top of it. A signed football, some photographs, and other memorabilia.
"No," I growled when I saw tears stream down her eyes. "Don't."
"I have to go."
I caught her arm before she could run and wrapped her into me. "Don't cry." What the fuck had I done to upset her like this? Was there anything more scary than seeing a strong woman cry?
And she was a tough cookie. I kept thinking of her as a mouse, but she wasn't. She was just an introvert who had a spine of steel.
She didn't allow much to shake her. She avoided confrontations, yes, but she didn't back down from what she believed in.
She took care of her father. She took care of his debt.
She babysat whenever her fucking asshole brother and his vapid wife needed it. This woman was amazing.
"Please let me go." She pushed at my chest. I stepped back.
"Why are you crying?"
She wiped her tears, now looking again at the floor. "None of this is making sense."
"What is not making sense, Naya?"
"You. What…what was that?"
"I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you."
"Yes," she said angrily. I'd never heard her angry, ever before. "You have a girlfriend. And I know how you think of me. Okay? I know."
"What do you think you know?" I demanded. "Damn it, Naya, look at me when you talk.
"She did, and her eyes were fire. Fucking hell if that didn't turn me on some more.
"I have no curves to speak. I have terrible fashion sense.
And I'm boring as fuck," she said quietly, softly, no emotion now, no inflection.
"I heard you say that right after your girlfriend mentioned how I had a crush on you.
Your response was that you knew because everyone knew but you didn't think of me like that. "
I felt shame course through me. She'd heard that entire conversation and remembered each word. I'd forgotten the exact words, but she hadn't.
"I'm so sorry, Naya that you overheard that."
She gave out a harsh laugh. I'd never seen her like this, almost like a wounded animal. God! I'd done this to her. Me. Why had I brought her in here? Why had I touched her? Why had I treated her like shit for so long?
"Nothing untrue about what you said. I don't have any fashion sense.
And trust me, I know my body is nothing to write home about.
Oh, how well I know that. It's ugly. I get it.
And you're not the first person to think I'm boring.
I know that about myself too. So, when you're touching me like you just did, what's your plan?
See if the girl who has a crush on you responds?
And then what? You'll tell your girlfriend and the next time I bump into you somewhere in Back Bay, Ann can make fun of me? Is that the plan?"
She seemed to be breathless after her tirade.
My chest felt tight like I couldn’t breathe. The fire in her eyes that I thought was anger I now realized was pain. She was hurt. Her tears were a result of her agony.
"I'm so fucking sorry, Naya," I repeated.
"Me too. I was going to do this in a couple of days after I signed the contract.
But now is good a time as any. I'm resigning.
" She said this looking at me, her voice calm again, her eyes cleared of the pain.
She was taking control of herself. She'd lost it for a moment there but now she was taking her own back.
"Resigning?" I blurted.
"Yes. I can't work here any longer. I just can't."
"Why?"
"Because you hired me as a favor to Nolan.
I overheard that too. I don't need your charity.
I'm very good at what I do. And I loved working for Ethan but since I've been working for you, you have spent an inordinate amount of time cutting me down.
" She took a deep breath to slow herself, like she was running a marathon and needed her energy to keep going.
"You got better in the past few weeks but before that you sniped at me to the point that everyone on my team wondered why you hated me so much.
I don't know what I ever did to you, or Ann, or my brother or Kara.
I don't know why you all treat me the way you do. I'm a person."
The anguish was back. The tears were back. I cupped her face and wiped her cheeks with my thumbs.
"Why can't you all see that I'm a person with feelings? What did I ever do to you?" she demanded desperately.
"Nothing." I felt my eyes prick with emotion. I couldn’t believe that I felt so strongly about what she'd said. I couldn't remember the last time I had tears in my eyes, but they were here, in response to her pain. "You're a wonderful person. We're jerks. Entitled assholes."
"And you think you're entitled to hurt me?" she asked so forlornly that I pulled her into my arms again and hugged her close.
She didn't push me away this time, but she didn't burrow into me, just stood still as a statue.
I stroked her back. "Naya, I'm so sorry. Not just that you overheard what you did, that I said what I did."
She seemed to stay still for a long time, not responding to me. I kept stroking her back and then she whispered, "Please stop touching me."
My hands stopped mid stroke and took a step away from her, my hands off, palms out so she could see I wasn't touching her.
"Have you signed a contract with InnoWare yet?"
I put two and two together. Eva Chen had called me out of the blue and asked me how I was doing, how a recent product release was going.
A product that Naya had worked on. Two days later, I'd seen Conrad at a bar, and he'd joked about how I'd stolen someone from his team, and he promised to return the favor.
"How did you know?"
Her eyes went from calm to panicked. She thought I'd fuck the opportunity up for her. That I'd probably do it for kicks. Who could blame her?
"I guessed. They didn't tell me," I assured her. "If you haven't signed anything yet, I don't accept your resignation. Look at your contract and once you make a decision come and talk to me. I don't want to lose you. Midas doesn't want to lose you."
She nodded, her gaze back on the floor. "Okay. Thank you."
I watched her walk out of my office and realized that I'd fucked up big time, worse than I thought I had.
I'd pretended she didn't overhear my conversation with Ann.
Hayes was right, I had been a coward, and the result had been that Naya, a sweet and kind woman was hurt.
She played with babies. Took care of a sick parent.
Volunteered at a shelter. She was a fucking saint and the people like her brother and his friends who were supposed to give a shit about her had not just ignored her but made sure to wound her every step of the way.
I'd never felt smaller in my whole life.