11. Amara
ELEVEN
AMARA
Jax had been invited to participate in a celebrity golf tournament, and when he'd asked me to come along as his plus one, I hadn't hesitated.
It wasn't just about escaping Charleston, though that was part of it but it was also about seeing Jax in his element, surrounded by people who knew him, who understood his world.
And, honestly, it was about having fun, which I'd been sorely missing since my relationship with Lucas ended.
As we drove to Myrtle Beach, the ocean sparkled in the distance, waves gently lapping the shore, and the air was rich with the scent of salt, sunscreen, and beachside grills.
"This is just the kind of break I needed." I leaned back in the comfortable leather seat of Jax's car.
"I don't know how you're surviving without taking any vacation off," Jax muttered.
I had not taken a holiday this summer, and during my time off between summer and Fall semester, I'd been nursing a broken heart and didn't feel like going anywhere.
But now, months had passed. There was distance.
I couldn't say I had gotten over Lucas, but I could admit that I was more than ready to work at it.
"I'm having one now, thanks to you," I pointed out.
"This is just a long weekend, sugar," Jax grumbled, "Not a vacation."
"Oh, yes, it is! For me at least. I'm planning to spend my time on the beach doing nothing but drinking colorful drinks with umbrellas in them."
We were staying at a luxury resort on the beach; the website of which practically screamed relaxation with its sprawling pools, palm trees, and private balconies overlooking the ocean.
Our two-bedroom suite was spacious and airy, with floor-to-ceiling windows that opened out onto a balcony where I could already picture myself sipping coffee in the morning, watching the sun rise over the water.
"This is so cool, Jax." I stepped out onto the balcony and let the sea breeze whip through my hair. "You really know how to treat a girl."
Jax grinned, joining me outside, his arm draping casually over my shoulders. "Hang with me, kid, and I'll take you places."
I laughed, leaning into him a little. "That's what they all say."
It was easy with Jax. There were no expectations, no pressure, just two people enjoying each other's company. And for once, I felt like I could actually let go and have a good time.
That first evening, we had dinner at a restaurant at the resort, and after two glasses of wine, I tapped out and slept through the night for the first time in a very long time. It was the sea air, I concluded. It was Jax. It was me, finally, ready to move forward.
Did I still miss Lucas? Yes, every day.
A part of me knew he was the love of my life, but people lost the love of their lives and moved on, didn't they? I, for one, did believe that there was life after love.
After breakfast on the balcony, where I discovered that Jax was not ready for human interaction until he'd drunk two cups of coffee, we headed to the golf course.
The course was stunning, a lush green expanse bordered by tall pines with glimpses of the ocean. The air buzzed with soft laughter, conversation, the clink of clubs, and the occasional cheer for a well-made shot.
Since this was a charity and celebrity event, the atmosphere was relaxed and not quite as competitive as it would be during a regular golf tournament.
Jax introduced me to his friends, all of whom were players or former players in various sports—big, confident men with easy smiles and a camaraderie that felt genuine, not forced.
Davis "DJ" Turner, a former NFL linebacker turned sports commentator, greeted me with a bear hug and a booming laugh that made me feel like I'd known him for years.
His wife, Sienna, a petite woman with curly dark hair and a wicked sense of humor, immediately looped her arm through mine and started chatting about everything from the tournament to the best places to get seafood in Myrtle Beach.
Ace Mitchell was a pro golfer like Jax, with an infectious grin and a laid-back attitude that put me at ease.
His wife, Emily, was tall and graceful, with a quiet confidence that I admired.
She and I bonded quickly over a shared love of literature, and before long, we were deep in conversation about our favorite books and authors, completely ignoring the game unfolding in front of us.
"Jax told me you're a professor." Emily's eyes lit up with genuine interest. "What do you teach?"
"Communication…well, specifically with regards to women's health and public relations. That's what I have my PhD in," I replied. "It's not as glamorous as being on the PGL Tour, for sure, but I love it."
Emily shook her head, a soft laugh escaping her lips. "Don't sell yourself short. That sounds fascinating. I just started my own event planning business after working for one of those big companies. Maybe you can do my PR."
"I'm afraid I'm more on the strategy side of things and not on the tactical, but I can hook you up with some top agencies where my former students now work," I suggested warmly.
As the day went on, we moved from one hole to the next, and I found myself easily slipping into the rhythm of the group. There was no pretense here, no need to prove myself or navigate the tricky social waters that had always felt so treacherous with Lucas's friends and family.
Jax's friends and their partners welcomed me without hesitation, making me feel like I belonged in a way I hadn't experienced in a long time.
At one point, Jax nudged me with his elbow, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You having fun yet?"
I grinned back at him, feeling lighter than I had in months. The mood and the two margaritas that I'd had with gorgeous snacks were absolutely contributing. "I think I might be."
He chuckled, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. "Good. You deserve to have fun, Amara. And I'm glad you're here with me."
I leaned into his embrace, enjoying the warmth of his presence. Being with Jax was like breathing fresh air. His world was open and welcoming, and no one made me feel bad about my blue-collar background—they appreciated me for me; no fancy pedigree required.
With Lucas, I often felt like I was walking a tightrope, always balancing, always trying to find the right footing. It was simple with Jax. There was no balancing act. It was comfortable. It was good.
It was also not passionate. As much as I liked him, and he me, I wasn't sexually attracted to him. Damn it!
When we got back to our suite, Jax dropped his golf bag in the corner and flopped onto the couch, looking every bit the picture of masculine repose.
"So, what's the verdict?" he asked, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "Did I manage to show you a good time?"
I smiled, sitting beside him, feeling a genuine sense of contentment. "You did. Your friends are great. I felt…welcome."
He reached out, taking my hand in his, his touch warm and reassuring. "You are. Always. I never expected to have the connection we built…you know, without the…."
"Sex?" I volunteered.
He laughed. "Yeah, without that."
There was something in the way he said it that made me think he knew more than I'd given him credit for.
Maybe he could sense the shadows that still lingered around me, the remnants of my past with Lucas that I hadn't fully shaken off.
But Jax didn't demand anything more than I was ready to give.
And maybe that was precisely what I needed right now.
"I'm not over him," I whispered. "Do you think that's why we are not happening?"
"I don't know, darlin'. But I'll tell you one thing, I think you're damn attractive, and I'd love to fuck you."
I gasped. And here I thought we didn't have any chemistry.
"I'm a guy. You're hot."
"That simple?"
"Yep. You know what they say?"
I tilted my head, amused. "What do they say?"
"That for men, sex is like pizza; even when it's a day old and cold, it's a slice, and we're game."
I licked my lips and straightened. "Kiss me."
Jax quirked an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Stop looking like you're walking into a war zone, darlin'; it's hurting my fragile ego."
I rolled my eyes. "Bud, your ego is monumental and not frail at all."
He leaned, cupped my check, and drew me to him. He gently placed his lips over mine. I could taste the martini he'd just had and the cigar he'd smoked.
"Open for me, Amara," he growled softly, and I did as he asked. My heart thundered. I was anxious. Nervous. This was the first time I was kissing someone who wasn't Lucas in over three years.
He kissed like a dream. His technique was ten out of ten. His hands moved over my body, and it felt damn good to be touched.
I was slightly breathless when he lifted his head.
"Fuck, you're sexy, Amara. I can see what you'd look like when I make you come," he whispered, stroking a cheek.
I licked my lips, feeling like an ass. As good as the kiss had been, all I wanted right now was to burst into tears. I'd kissed a man who wasn't Lucas, and it felt like cheating.
Jax kissed my nose and smiled, that easy, confident smile that I had become familiar with. "Darlin', you're not ready."
Tears filled my eyes. "When will I be ready?"
He shrugged. "I'm still waiting as well. Someone broke my heart a long while ago, and…sure, I've fucked since then, dated casually, but it always feels like I'm steppin' out on her."
"We make quite a pair," I sniffled.
"How about we can the serious talk and go have dinner, drink some more, maybe dance and have a good time?"
As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the room in a warm, golden glow, I realized something important: I didn't have to have all the answers right now. And that was the most freeing thing of all.
"Yeah, let's have a good time," I agreed.
We arrived at the beachfront party to the sounds of laughter and music filling the night air. Waves crashed softly in the background while guests mingled under a sky full of stars. Tiki torches lined the sand, casting a warm, inviting glow.