Fifty-Two
fifty-two
I LOVE YOU - THE BEES
OWEN - AUGUST 3, 2013
I pull into Callie’s driveway, thinking that I should probably buy stock in a fuel company with all these long trips. As much as I know she’s worth every mile, making this drive each week has become a real investment. But there’s something about being here that just feels right, like the missing pieces of my life are finally fitting together. God, when did I get so sentimental?
I glance over at Barrett, who's quietly taking in the surroundings from his car seat. "Are you ready to meet some special girls, buddy?" I reach over and squeeze his hand three times—a small gesture we've adopted for "I love you." He squeezes back twice, our little way of reassuring each other.
After unbuckling him, I scoop him up, and he snuggles close. I grab his bag with my free hand and make my way to the door. Callie’s little white house stands quietly before us, welcoming us in that way only a place that feels like home can. Before I even knock, the door swings open, and there’s Callie with Sara perched on her hip. Her smile, bright and welcoming, makes my heart do that familiar flip. Standing there in the soft afternoon sunlight, she’s radiant. It all feels so seamless like we’re slipping into a life that was always waiting for us.
"Hello, Dollface," I say, stepping inside, one of my favorite nicknames for her slipping out naturally.
"Hey, you," Callie replies, her voice as warm as a favorite song. She steps back to let us in, her familiar scent surrounding me. Part of me wants to lean in and kiss her right now, but with Barrett here, I hold off for the moment.
"This must be Barrett," she says, her face lighting up as she looks at him with an openness that makes my chest tighten. She shifts Sara slightly, balancing her on her hip as she reaches a hand out to Barrett, who's half-hiding behind my leg, peeking out at her with a mix of shyness and curiosity. "Hi, Barrett. It’s nice to meet you. Your dad’s told me so much about you."
Barrett, ever the cautious observer, studies her with those wide, curious eyes before turning his attention to Sara. I can see the uncertainty in his face, the way he’s trying to process these new faces, this new environment. I reach behind me to rub his back gently, hoping to soothe any lingering nerves. “This is Callie,” I say, keeping my tone light and easy. “And this is Sara. Can you say hi, buddy?”
He looks up at me, and I nod, letting him know it’s okay.
“Hi, Buddy,” Barrett parrots with a giggle.
Sara pops her favorite Mute Button pacifier out of her mouth and gives a soft hello with a shy smile. At only fourteen-months-old, Sara doesn’t talk much yet. But I can tell that she’s excited to have someone to play with.
Callie meets my gaze, and for a moment, everything else fades away. It’s just us, standing here in this perfect little bubble, watching these two lives blend together in a monumental and simple way.
“So, what would you guys like to do today?” Callie asks, breaking the moment with a soft smile that sends a ripple of warmth through me as we all head inside.
“Well,” I start, looking around the cozy, familiar space of her living room, “I thought we could let the kids play here for a bit. Maybe head outside if they get restless, then see where the day takes us.”
“Sounds good to me,” Callie replies, her eyes following the kids as they explore each other. “They seem happy enough for now.”
Barrett walks over to Sara, his gaze curious and intent. Sara, a little unsteady on her feet, holds out one of her toys—a small, plush dinosaur. She offers it to Barrett with a quiet fascination, and after a moment’s hesitation, he takes it. Watching them, something clicks into place inside me. This—seeing my son interact with Callie’s daughter, watching them form a quiet connection—fills me with a sense of contentment I didn’t know I needed.
The two of them seem perfectly in sync in their own small, silent way. I see in them the seeds of something special, something I’d love to watch grow. As I think of the future, a picture unfolds—these two growing up together, Callie and me by their side, creating a life filled with moments like this.
Callie steps a bit closer, and the warmth of her shoulder against mine grounds me in this perfect moment. I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, snapping me out of it. When I see Will’s name on the screen, I give Callie an apologetic smile.
"Sorry, I should take this," I say.
"Go ahead," she replies, her smile reassuring me as I step into the hallway for a little privacy.
"Hey, Will. What’s up?" I ask, keeping my voice steady .
"Owen, just a heads-up—we’re done with the Iowa City job," Will says, his tone serious and straightforward. "So here’s the deal. You’ve got a few options: take the layoff, find another contractor, or come with me on the next job. Some investors are opening up a ranch resort, West Haven, over in Columbus Junction. It’s right by the Iowa River, about thirty-five miles east of Cedar Bluff. It’s also an option for Cedar Rapids in a few weeks, but that’s a bit farther."
I take a deep breath, trying to process it. The Iowa City job coming to an end feels both unsettling and like an opportunity. "Columbus Junction, huh?" I say, turning the idea over in my mind.
"Yeah, it’s a good gig," Will says. "Could be a place to settle for a while. No rush; just wanted to give you all the info."
My thoughts immediately go to Barrett. Cutting down the distance would be a relief, making it easier to be in his life day-to-day. And then there’s Callie. Columbus Junction would mean being close to her, seeing her and Sara without the constant planning around long drives.
"Will," I say, my voice steadier, "Columbus Junction sounds like it might be exactly what I need. Thanks, man. I’ll figure things out, but this sounds promising."
"Take your time, but not too long," Will chuckles. "I need to give them a headcount soon. Just let me know."
We end the call, and I stand there for a moment, letting everything sink in. This decision is more than a job change—it’s about where I want to build my life.
When I rejoin Callie in the living room, she’s watching the kids, her expression soft and thoughtful. "Everything okay?" she asks gently.
"Yeah," I say, though there’s a weight in my voice. "Will just called to let me know the Iowa City job is wrapping up. He’s offering me a spot on his next project—a ranch resort in Columbus Junction. It’s close enough that I’d be near Barrett and even closer to you."
Her eyes light up as she considers the idea. "So that means we’d get to see a lot more of each other?"
I nod. "Yeah. But it also means making some decisions about my living situation. My landlord gave me a thirty-day notice since he found a long-term tenant. I need to figure out where to go."
Without missing a beat, Callie takes my hand, squeezing it gently. "What about staying with your mom?" she suggests thoughtfully.
I shake my head. "Mom’s place is too small for Barrett and me. I want him to have his own space, a place that feels like home."
She’s quiet for a moment, a pensive look crossing her face. "What if… you stayed here? I mean, it’d be temporary if that’s what you need. You’re here all the time anyway, and you’d be close to Barrett. And… close to us."
The suggestion is so unexpected, yet so perfect, that I’m momentarily at a loss for words. "Are you serious, Callie?"
She nods, her eyes softening as she looks at me, and I can tell that this isn’t just an offhand comment. There’s a vulnerability in her expression, a quiet hope that makes my chest tighten. “I know it’s fast, Owen. I’ve always been the kind of person who falls quickly. I know that about myself,” she admits, her voice steady but tinged with a hint of self-awareness. “But this… with you, it’s different. It feels like we’ve known each other for so much longer, like everything just clicks. What we have… it’s what I’ve been chasing after most of my life. And now that I have it, I don’t want to spend time away from you if I don’t have to. I’ve never felt this way before, not like this. We’ve been spending so much time together, and it feels right. I think it could be good for us. Plus, you’re in a toug h spot. No matter where you move, you’re going to end up having to uproot Barrett. You might as well bring him to a place where you and I can help each other out. I could talk to Brooke and see if I can work around your schedule on weeks when you have him. I know this is fast, babe. But I want so much to be a part of your life. You moving in here, even if it’s just for a little while, might be crazy, but it could also make a lot of sense for us if you think about it.”
Her words wash over me, dissolving any lingering doubts I might have had. The thought of moving in with Callie, of being here with her and Sara every day, fills me with a sense of anticipation and contentment that I didn’t realize I was craving. But it also breaks my heart a bit because it’s reminding me of what Sabrina said to me yesterday about potentially losing time with Barrett now that he’s been accepted into preschool.
I study her face, the way her eyes are searching mine for a sign, any indication of what I’m thinking. I can see she’s nervous, even though she’s trying to hide it. This is a big step, and we both know it. But there’s something so natural about the idea, something that feels like it’s always been part of the plan, even if we didn’t realize it until now.
I reach out, taking her hand in mine. The touch is grounding and reassuring, and I give it a gentle squeeze, letting her know that I’m right here with her at this moment. “You’re right,” I say, my voice steady as I meet her beautiful green eyes. “It does make sense. And honestly? It feels right to me, too. I want to be here, with you and Sara. I want us to figure this out together.”
Her lips curve into a smile, not the playful one from before, but a softer, more genuine smile that reaches her eyes and warms my heart. “I’m glad you feel that way,” she whispers, and I can hear the relief in her voice, see the tension ease from her shoulders as she relaxes into the moment.
As we sit there, hands entwined, I reflect upon how far we’ve come in such a short time. It’s been a whirlwind, but one that feels so right, so perfectly timed. There’s something about Callie, about us, that’s different from anything I’ve ever known. It’s like we were always meant to find each other, to build this life together.
“Are you sure, Callie?” I ask, needing to hear it again, to make sure I’m not just imagining this. “I don’t want to rush anything or make things more complicated for you. You already have a lot on your plate.”
She nods, a small, reassuring smile tugging at her lips. The kind of smile that tells me she’s not just saying this to be nice—she’s saying it because she means it. “You have a lot going on too, babe. We can team up and help each other out. We’ll figure out the details as we go, but I really think this could work. For all of us.”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, feeling the weight of uncertainty lift off my shoulders. I can’t stop the grin that spreads across my face, one of those genuine, can’t-help-it kind of smiles. “Let’s do it. I think you’re right. It does make sense.”
As the words settle between us, the sound of the kids’ laughter bubbles up from the other side of the room, a sweet reminder of what’s at stake. I glance over to see Barrett and Sara holding hands, making their way down the hallway toward Sara’s room. The sight of them together, so natural, so easy, fills me with a kind of hope I haven’t felt in years. Callie follows my gaze and smiles.
“Looks like they’re off to explore,” she says with a soft chuckle, and there’s so much love in her voice that it tugs at something deep inside me. “Sara’s probably showing Barrett her dinosaur collection.”
I laugh, the sound light and carefree, something I haven’t felt in a long time. “What is it with kids and dinosaurs? Barrett loves them too.”
“They’re so sweet together,” Callie says, her voice filled with that note of affection that always gets to me, makes me want to pull her closer and never let go.
“Yeah,” I agree, my voice softer now, filled with something deeper. “They are.”
As the kids disappear down the hallway, Callie leans into me, her head resting against my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her, pulling her close. This—this moment, this connection–it’s everything I’ve been searching for, everything I didn’t know I needed. The warmth of her body against mine is so grounding. “We’ll take it one step at a time,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “But I want to be here, Callie. With you, Barrett and Sara.”
Her breath catches, and for a moment, she’s silent, letting the weight of my words sink in. I can feel her heart beating against me, fast but steady, like mine. Then she pulls back just enough to look up at me, her eyes shining with emotion, with something that looks a lot like the beginning of forever. “I want that too, Owen.”
There’s a vulnerability in her voice, a raw honesty that makes my heart ache in the best way. I lean over, capturing her lips in a kiss that’s slow and deep, a promise of everything we’re building together. It’s a kiss that says I’m all in. When we finally pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, savoring the quiet, intimate moment. The world outside may be chaotic, but in this bubble we’ve created, everything feels perfect.
Just as we’re soaking in that closeness, there’s a sudden burst of tiny footsteps. I barely have time to register them before Barrett bursts into the room, his little face scrunched up in a dramatic expression of disgust. “Eww!” he exclaims, pointing at us like he’s just caught us doing something scandalous.
Callie and I both laugh, pulling apart slightly but still holding onto each other. I look down at Barrett, who’s standing there with his hands on his hips, clearly unimpressed by our display of affection.
“Eww, Daddy!” Barrett repeats, his tone somewhere between serious and playful.
Callie chuckles, giving Barrett a teasing look. “What’s wrong with kissing, Barrett?”
But Barrett isn’t done. He furrows his brow, looking up at me with all the seriousness a toddler can muster. “Does that mean you’re getting married now? Like Mommy and Alex?”
His words catch me off guard, and I glance at Callie, who’s smiling but clearly as surprised as I am. I kneel down to Barrett’s level, keeping my tone gentle. “Well, buddy, not exactly. Kissing doesn’t always mean people are getting married. But it does mean we care about each other a lot.”
Barrett seems to consider this, his little face thoughtful as he processes the information. “But you do love Callie, right?”
I hesitate for a moment, caught off guard by his question. And I can feel Callie’s body tense up beside me. I’ve been trying to figure out for days how I was going to tell Callie how I really feel about her. And now that we’ve discussed the possibility of me moving into this house with her and Sara, I guess there’s no time like the present. I smile, feeling a warmth spread through me. I guess now is as good of a time for her to find out as any. “Yes, I do, Barrett. Very much.”
I look over at Callie to see that she has tears in her eyes–happy ones, I hope. She smiles at me and looks back at Barrett, reaching out to hold his hand. “And I love your daddy too,” she adds softly.
Barrett looks between us, his expression softening as he nods, seemingly satisfied with our answers. “Okay,” he says finally, his tone accepting, like he’s just made peace with the situation. Then, without warning, he turns and dashes back down the hallway. Before I can fully relax into the moment, he skids to a stop at the door, eyes wide with realization. “Wait!” he shouts, darting back into the room and making a beeline for his bag. He rummages through it with a determined focus until he triumphantly pulls out Mr. Chompers so he can show his very own stuffed dinosaur to Sara.
“Got it!” Barrett declares, clutching the toy to his chest like it’s the most important thing in the world. He flashes us a grin, his earlier disgust completely forgotten, before springing out of the room again, his little footsteps fading into the distance.
Callie and I exchange a look, and then we’re both laughing. “That was… something,” Callie says, still chuckling as she stands up.
“Yeah, it was,” I agree, standing with her. “Kids, huh?”
She nods, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “Kids. They keep you on your toes, that’s for sure.”
As we sit back down together on the couch, the laughter fading into a comfortable silence, I can’t help but think that moments like this—unexpected, sweet, and more than a little chaotic—are exactly what I’ve been missing. And now, with Callie and our kids, I have everything I’ve ever wanted.
“I meant what I said, Callie. I love you madly. I’ve known it since before I met you. I think it was solidified when I lost that goddamn phone. My heart ached for you.”
“Ditto,” she says simply, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on my lips. She feels like home, like everything I’ve ever wanted and more than I ever could have hoped for.
“I never told you this before but when I was married to Sabrina, I started having these dreams about a woman that wasn’t her.” Explaining this to her is either going to make her think I’m insane, or it’s going to solidify the fact that this–Callie and me–is meant to be.
Callie stares at me, unsure what to say, so I take a deep breath and continue explaining. “She had long brown hair and these brilliant green eyes.” Callie’s lips turn up in a smile. “She started showing up in my dreams the night before I married Sabrina. And I spent years dreaming about her until one day not too long ago, it all clicked. She was you, Callie. You are the literal girl of my dreams. When I say I knew I loved you before I met you, it’s not just some cheesy lyric from a Savage Garden song. It’s true.”
She looks at me, nearly speechless and I don’t think I’ve ever quite seen that from her. After a long moment, she speaks. “Owen, I love you too,” she says, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
“I started falling for you from the moment you asked me what my five favorite bands were, and I haven’t stopped falling since. I fall more in love with you every day, and I know that’s never going to stop. You are everything that I’ve been chasing after my whole life. I always knew that there had to be something more out there for me. And it’s you. It’s you and it’s Barrett. It’s all of us together. I love this little family we’re building. And I know it’s fast. I know it’s crazy. But I also know I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve always wanted to feel it but I never truly have.”
“So,” she continues, tears welling in her eyes, trying to break free, “if you’ll have me–if you’ll accept all of my crazy, all of my weird, all of me–then I can promise you that I will love you every second of every day. In this lifetime and the next. I’ll choose you every time. I just need you to promise that I’ll always be enough for you.”
Her words almost hurt as I can feel the pain from her past breaking her within the last few words. “Baby, I promise. I will never stop. You are enough. You’re it for me. Today. Tomorrow. Every day from here on out. You’re stuck with me,” I say, grabbing her cheeks and placing a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Callie Madden. You will forever be my always.”
As we share this moment, the weight of past struggles fades, replaced by a peace I hadn’t known was possible. This is where I’m meant to be—with Callie, Barrett, and Sara, in a life we’re building together, one small, perfect moment at a time.