6. Ciera
Three Months Later
Sitting here waiting on Kendrick to pick me up, I had a doctor’s appointment that I had to get to.
Since the night I met Kendrick in the hotel, we have been very good friends.
He understood what I was going through and respected my wishes.
I’m close to being five months pregnant, and today I find out what the sex of my baby is, though I truly don’t care what the sex is.
I just want my baby to be healthy and happy.
I miss my Grams and sister so much and I really want to see them.
They both know where I am, and they know that I’m pregnant.
I made them promise not to tell anyone, not even Zelan.
Juelz had been calling my phone back-to-back for a month straight, and I finally decided to change my number.
I do plan on telling him that he has a baby on the way.
I’m not sure when I will tell him, but I guess I need to do it soon.
The sound of the doorbell got my attention, and I went to answer the door.
Peeping through the peephole, I saw that it was Kendrick.
I pulled the door open and allowed him in.
“Hey there, come on in while I grab my things,” I told him.
“Ci, you are glowing, and that belly is getting big, but you are still beautiful,” he said smiling at me.
“Thank you, I guess,” I said, rolling my eyes upward at him.
I ran up to my room and grabbed my purse.
Every time I walked into my room, I smiled.
It was in beautiful shades of pink and gray.
I stayed in the hotel for two weeks and decided to rent an apartment in downtown LA.
I was about a mile from the Staples Center, and I loved it here.
I was on a month-to-month lease because I knew that I would be heading back to New York soon to have my baby.
I was hurting and needed space away from Juelz, but I knew he had a right to know, and my child had a right to know his/her father.
I walked back into the living room so we could get to my appointment.
“I’m ready, bighead,” I said laughing as Kendrick and I headed out the front door.
“I got your big head,” he said, smirking at me as we got in the car.
Kendrick still tries me from time to time.
He is fine and would make someone very happy, but I’m not over Juelz, and I’m not making the same mistake I did before.
Plus, I’m pregnant with another man’s baby and that shit is just disrespectful.
We pulled up to the doctor’s office, and I got myself checked in and waited for my name to be called.
“Are you nervous about finding out what you are having?” Kendrick asked.
“No, I’m not nervous. I’m very excited to know what I have growing inside of me,” I smiled up at him. This is my third visit to this doctor, and she has been consulting with my doctor back in New York so when I go back, they will be familiar with my pregnancy.
“Ciera Voss!” The nurse called out.
I stood and grabbed my purse before following her toward the back.
Kendrick had offered to come with me, but I couldn't allow him to share in this part of my life.
This moment belonged to Juelz. No matter how angry I was with him, no matter how much he'd hurt me, he was still the father of my child.
He deserved to witness every milestone, even if he couldn't physically be here.
“Would you mind recording my appointment?” I asked the nurse as we walked into the exam room.
She smiled. “Of course. I'd be happy to.”
“Thank you. One day I'm going to compile all of these videos and give them to my baby's father.”
“I think that's a beautiful idea,” she replied.
A lump formed in my throat. I hoped one day Juelz would watch every single appointment. I wanted him to know that despite everything we'd gone through, I never wanted to rob him of these moments. He was with his family, so being with me just wasn't an option and i didn't want to intrude on that.
“I need you to take off your clothes and put this gown on,” the nurse instructed. “The doctor will be in shortly.”
“Okay.”
Once she left the room, I changed into the gown and climbed onto the exam table.
I looked around the room, feeling lonelier than I ever had before.
This wasn't how I imagined my first pregnancy.
I always pictured the father of my children sitting beside me, holding my hand, smiling every time we heard our baby's heartbeat.
Instead, it was just me lying here alone.
I know that when I give birth, he would probably be there, but as soon as I gave birth, he was going back home to her.
About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door before Dr. Case walked in with the same nurse from earlier.
“Good morning, Ms. Voss,” Dr. Case greeted with a smile. “How has my little patient been treating you?”
I chuckled. “All is well, Dr. Case. I've been vomiting a lot though. It's been hard keeping food down.”
She nodded as she made notes in her computer.
“That sounds like normal morning sickness, although some women unfortunately experience it all day instead of just the morning.”
“That sounds like me,” I laughed. “Morning, afternoon, and at night. It doesn't seem like my baby discriminates when it happens.” I laughed, and so did Dr. Case.
“I can definitely give you something to help ease the nausea. We don't want you becoming dehydrated or losing too much weight.”
“I'd appreciate that.”
“Now,” she said, pulling the ultrasound machine closer, “let's check on this bundle of joy.”
The nurse picked up my phone and started recording just like I'd asked.
Dr. Case lifted my gown just enough to expose my stomach before squeezing the cool gel onto my skin.
“Ooh, that cold gel always gets me. The crazy part is, I know it's going to happen,” I complained.
“I know. It's going to ease up soon. It's just that initial application of the gel. I promise it'll be over soon.”
She placed the ultrasound probe against my stomach and slowly began moving it around.
Seconds later, the sounds of my baby's heartbeat filled the room. Tears began to blur my vision because I couldn't believe I was living this moment.
“Oh my God,” I whispered, covering my mouth.
“There we go,” Dr. Case smiled. “That’s a very strong heartbeat.”
I couldn't stop smiling, teary-eyed and all.
“Hi, baby,” I whispered, rubbing my stomach. The nurse zoomed in with my phone, making sure she captured all of it. I wanted every moment captured not just for me to go back and watch it later, but for Juelz. Dr. Case stopped moving the probe, and that alarmed me. She leaned closer to the monitor.
“Hmm,” she said, as she kept staring at the monitor and that big smile, I had on my face disappeared. She adjusted the probe and moved it around so many damn times my stomach was hurting.
"Ohhhh, my goodness." She smiled, and she moved the probe around again. This lady needed to tell me something because my heart was racing so damn hard, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.
“What is it?” I asked nervously.
“Here is the little one, ohhhhh wait a minute is that what I think it is?” the doctor said, and she was making my ass nervous now.
“Dr. Case, is my baby ok?” I asked her nervously.
“Ciera, your babies are fine,” she said smiling at me.
“Wheeewww, I was nervous there for a minute. I thought something was wrong... wait a minute, did you say, babies? Are there two babies in there? Noooo wayyyy, it can’t be!
I don’t know how to take care of one baby.
How in the world am I supposed to take care of two babies?
” I yelled out, tears streaming down my face.
“Ciera, I know this is shocking. Sometimes, when there are twins, one baby will hide behind the other baby. We are only able to see the other baby when they decide to move, and that’s what happened, this little booger moved.
Everything will be just fine, I suggest letting this all digest and then figure out the best way to handle taking care of your babies.
Let’s look and see what you are having,” Dr. Case said giving me a concerned smile.
“Dr. Case, can you please write it down and seal it in an envelope? I think this is something I should share with my children’s father,” I spoke with a shaky voice, still emotional from the news. She checked me out, printed some ultrasound pictures, and passed them to the nurse.
“Absolutely, I think that is a wonderful idea, Ciera. You can go ahead and get dressed, everything with the babies seems fine. They will have all you need upfront, and you can set your next appointment for one month from today,” Dr. Case stated.
I couldn’t fucking believe I was having twins, but this was my life now.
I decided that it was time to tell Juelz that I was pregnant, and he could do whatever he wanted to do.
I was a woman with standards, and keeping this from him was not right.
My Grams kept pushing it, that I needed to tell him, so that is what I would do.
It was time to take a trip to New York. Once I gathered myself, I walked back out to the front. Kendrick stood smiling at me.
“Are you all set? Do you know what you are having?” He asked, as we walked to the nurse's station to get my appointment and paperwork.
“No, I don’t know what I’m having, I decided to wait, but I did find out I’m having twins,” I smiled at him.
“You’re having twins? Awwww man that is awesome, Ciera!
That is crazy, you have two babies in there!
I’m still in shock, woowwww you have two babies in there.
Let’s get out of here, so I can feed you some lunch.
We have to celebrate tonight, do you like basketball?
I have tickets to the Lakers game,” Kendrick asked waiting for me to give him an answer.
“Yeah, I think that would be great, I need a little fun. Who are they playing?” I asked him.
“They are playing the New York Knicks,” he said. I was so excited! I had been missing being back in New York and watching the team from my home state was just what I needed to lift my spirits a little.
Kendrick and I went to this BBQ spot called SLAB.
The food was so delicious. I couldn’t stop eating the ribs, my ass was surely going to pay for it later.
Just sitting here thinking about the little ones growing in my belly, had me feeling a little better.
I’m just emotional because I really wished that Juelz was here to share the moment with me.
Things are different now, and he is not in my life. I need to make sure that we are settled in, so many decisions have to be made. Kendrick got me home about an hour later, and I was sitting watching television when my phone started ringing.
“Hey, Grams. How are you?” I said answering the phone.
“I’m fine baby. I was just checking on you how is everything going?” Grams asked.
“All is well. I’m thinking of coming next week for a visit. I miss you, and Ari,” I responded.
“Well, that is some good news, maybe you can come and get your baby daddy back,” Grams replied with a laugh.
“Grams, you know how I feel about the Juelz situation. He’s happy with his wife and child, so I’m not getting involved with that,” I told her.
“You don’t have a damn choice but to get involved, girl.
You’re pregnant with his baby, so you’re getting ready to shake all that shit up over there in that big ass mansion.
Shake the damn walls until they crumble.
Ion like that funny looking ass skeezer.
Trust me, I can’t wait to see that shit!
You know I'm going with you because if that dog looking bitch even looks at you funny, I’ma take that lil ugly ass chia pet she got for a dog, and stuff it down her throat.
You can’t beat her ass but best believe me and Ari can wear that ass out.
Shit you know Ari whooped her ass big time a few months ago.
Girl, that bitch was walking around looking like Martin did when he got in that boxing match!
Ari tore that ass out the frame, and she made me proud.
Ohhh, I seen yo slow ass mama and that bugga boo ass nigga at the market.
I was waiting for they as when they got out the store, I tried to shoot at ‘em but they ran, ” Grams said laughing her ass off.
“Grams! You could go to jail. But yeah, Ari told me she had to beat her ass and that you pulled your gun out on her,” I responded.
“Girlll, ain’t nobody going to jail. But if I have to, I’ma do my time and get back out and do the same thing all over again.
That girl talks too damn much. Blaming Ari for the kidnapping, I wanted to slide her ass a few good times, but Ari had that handled,” Grams responded, and I just laughed because I swear this lady was something else.
“Grams, I’m going to take a nap, and I’ll call to check on you tomorrow,” I responded.
“Alright, make sure you call me and get some rest. I love you, baby.”
“I love you to, Grams.” We ended the call. I laid down to get a much-needed nap before I headed out with Kendrick later.