Chapter 46
Chapter Forty-Six
CALEB
My head spins as I try to recollect last night.
I know I went to Formidable, where Octavia came to keep me company as I got drunk. To be fair, she did too, if I recall correctly, much to the chagrin of Lucien and his best friend Lincoln.
She’s a grown arse adult and can do what she wants to do, but Lucien and Linc stayed anyway. Linc was clearly concerned over Octavia, not that I’d ever hurt her, but considering we drank our weight in alcohol, it was probably a good thing they stuck around.
I never drink like that. Well, not anymore at least, and it was a selfish move on my part.
At least I somehow managed to get home, but the fact I’m in the guest bedroom likely means I’m in the doghouse, and rightfully so.
“Fuck!”
Pushing myself up, my stomach churning and my head spinning, I make my way to the ensuite, only now realising I’ve been stripped down to my boxer briefs.
Running my hand through my hair, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. I look like utter shit and feel like shit too, which is more than I deserve.
I brush my teeth twice in the hopes of getting rid of the rancid taste in my mouth but forego mouthwash. Something tells me if I try to gargle right now, I’ll puke.
Stripping out of my boxers, I step into the shower, crank on the jets, and step under the spray, hissing as a blast of cold water hits me before it begins to warm up.
I rest my forearm against the wall, trying to clear my head, and work on what I will say to Noah.
I don’t know how long I’ve been under the shower when warm arms wrap around me from behind, making my heart skip a beat. It’s Jessica.
My hand moves to cover hers.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice hoarse.
I feel her sigh against my back. “It’s not me you need to apologise to, Caleb. But we were worried about you.”
Guilt eats at me as I hang my head in shame. “I know and I’ll apologise to him. I don’t have an excuse. It was selfish, what I did.”
She drops her arms, and I think she’s going to leave, as she probably should, but instead, she moves around to stand in front of me, staring up at me.
“He told me about the letter,” she says softly.
I squeeze my eyes closed as her words sink in.
“He shouldn’t have had to. I forced his hand when I found it and went off the deep end.” I open my eyes and stare down at her. “I didn’t read it all. When I realised what it was, I saw red. I acted like a complete arsehole.” That’s an understatement.
Jessica reaches up to cup my jaw, making me feel even worse.
“I don’t deserve your comfort, Jessica.”
Her eyes soften. “I’m not saying your reaction was the right one, but I get it. I’d have been in shock too,” she says.
I shake my head. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t have acted the way I did. I just lashed out.” I swallow, thinking about the way I fucked him. “He’s the one with cancer, having major surgery tomorrow and I—” My voice cracks. I can’t even finish my sentence.
A pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind, startling me.
“It’s okay Caleb,” Noah says, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
I shake my head, and he moves to my side, reaching for my chin, and guiding my gaze to his. The spray from the shower, raining down on all of us.
“Caleb, it’s okay,” he says again, his eyes warm pools of hazel.
“It’s not though, is it? None of this is fucking okay, Noah.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I try to breathe through the onslaught of emotions.
His mouth ghosts across mine, grounding me before his tongue slips between my lips and he kisses me, healing me, loving me.
When he pulls back, he holds my stare.
“No Caleb, it’s not okay. But I love you and you love me and that’s all that really matters.”
I clear my throat and nod.
“I know when I was diagnosed, I handled it badly. I tried to run, to hide from the truth.”
Shaking my head, I grip his nape. “That’s not the same Noah, what I did was selfish.”
He raises an eyebrow. “No, Caleb, it’s called being human.”
I lean my forehead against his.
“Maybe, but I’m still sorry, more than you’ll ever know.”
Jessica reaches for my other hand and I pull back to look between them.
“I love you both, so damn much.”
Her eyes glisten.
“We know Caleb and we love you too.”
I pull them both into my body, the water cascading all around us as I breathe them in. I hold them until Noah finally leans back.
“I think we need to make a promise that going forward we agree to always come home, and never go to sleep on an argument,” he says, his gaze flicking between Jessica and me.
Jessica wraps her arm around his waist. “I promise,” she says
“I promise too, and Noah, I really am sorry,” I say, my voice cracking again.
“Me too. I should have mentioned the letter.”
I shake my head. “No, you shouldn’t have.”
We’re at a stalemate, but we both concede when his lips curve into a small smile. “You sure as hell look sorry,” he says. “You look like shit. What did you drink last night” he asks.
My stomach rolls at the thought of alcohol.
Jessica rubs her hand up and down my back. “You were a fire hazard,” she says, stepping away to reach for the shower gel, and she squirts some into her palm.
“Tequila,” I reply, feeling green at the gills.
“That explains it,” she says as she begins to lather up my chest.
Noah reaches for the shower gel and moves behind me as they both cover me in suds.
I don’t deserve either of them and I know it.
“I’m just glad you were with friends,” Jessica says, warming my heart.
I smile at that. Yeah, me too. “You remember when I said I was worried about Avery if you were to have a girls’ night?”
She nods.
“Well, I take it back. I don’t think it’s Avery I need to be concerned about, it’s most definitely Octavia.”
They both laugh and just like that, just for this small moment in time, the world is right again.