Monday, March 1st, 418 p.m. LAKE
LAKE
I’m going to kill the next person I see.
SUTTON
Is everything okay?
LAKE
Yeah, I just had an astronomically bad day.
First, I forgot to turn in an assignment for my English class.
Second, I spilled water all over my crotch, which I then had to air-dry in the women’s restroom so it didn’t look like I peed myself.
Third, I ate shit running in the quad because I was late to my next class.
Everyone did see me fall, in case you were wondering.
And fourth, I just remembered that the Chinese takeout I was looking forward to eating expired today.
SUTTON
Jesus.
LAKE
Sorry for venting. I’m going to crawl into bed and pretend like none of this happened.
SUTTON
How about I bring you some takeout? We can watch a movie, I can give you a back massage, we can do face masks.
LAKE
Sutton Whittaker, the meanest defenseman on the hockey team, does face masks?
SUTTON
Yep, and my skin has never felt softer.
LAKE
You do have disturbingly soft skin.
SUTTON
Thank you.
LAKE
As much as I love the sound of that, I’m sure you probably have better things to do than attend my pity party.
SUTTON
I don’t, actually. And I’d much rather spend time with you than do anything else in this world.
LAKE
You’re just saying that.
SUTTON
It’s the cold, hard truth. Scout’s honor.
LAKE
I’m beginning to think you don’t have any red flags. Which is strange, since you’re a man. No offense.
SUTTON
None taken, but I definitely have a few. I just haven’t disclosed them yet because I don’t want to scare you away.
LAKE
Oh, please. You’re the equivalent of a big teddy bear. How bad can they be?
SUTTON
When I get home from school, I lie on my bed in my outside clothes.
LAKE
That’s…not terrible.
SUTTON
I don’t wet my toothbrush before brushing my teeth. I go in raw.
LAKE
…
SUTTON
I clap when the plane lands.
LAKE
Dear God, it’s worse than I thought.
SUTTON
I’m on my way with chow mein, egg rolls, and orange chicken. Do you need me to pick up anything else?
LAKE
No, I just need you.
SUTTON
Lake, do you…miss…me?
LAKE
What? No! Pish, you wish.
SUTTON
Holy shit. You so do.
LAKE
If you tell anyone, I’ll crush your nutsack like a walnut.
SUTTON
You’re so violent. It’s adorable.
LAKE
I hate you.
SUTTON
Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, baby.