Chapter 24 #2
James chanced a quick look at her, one brow raised in question. She relayed what Callie explained, admitting the science didn’t quite make sense to her, even if the general idea did.
“I’m with you. I don’t understand how it could work, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it did.
I feel like I say that more and more these days about technology.
I’m only thirty-five, but more often than I’d like to admit, something I once thought was outrageous or impossible is suddenly commonplace. Makes me feel old.”
“And I’m nearly five years older,” she said.
Again, he glanced over, then quickly returned his attention to the road as they eased through the gentle bend at the top of the lake.
“You had to know I was older,” she said. “Callie is only a year younger than Gabe, and he’s thirty-eight. I’m a year older than him. My birthday is in May. I’ll be forty.”
“I knew. Not by how much, though. Is that a problem for you?”
She shook her head. It really wasn’t. But she wondered if it would be a problem for him if this situationship turned into something more.
He was still young enough to have kids if he wanted them.
As a man, he’d be “young enough” for a long time.
But aside from the fact that she was approaching the age when it became less advisable to have children, she’d never wanted kids of her own.
But that was a huge topic, and it was too soon to address it.
“You said you don’t want kids,” he said.
Or maybe it wasn’t too soon to address.
“A decision I made long ago,” she confirmed. If he wanted to go there, she may as well rip the Band-Aid off. “I had my tubes tied when I was thirty-two.”
She waited, her chest hot, her belly tight, for his answer.
Over the years, she’d experienced a range of reactions from those closest to her about her choice.
Most were supportive, but a few, well, those had hurt.
They accused her of being everything from stupid to shortsighted to selfish.
One of her now-former-friends had gone so far as to tell her she’d die alone with no one to love her and that it would be her biggest regret.
As if the purpose of having children was to take care of her in her old age.
As if she couldn’t have a fulfilling life with many loving relationships without kids of her own.
“I had a vasectomy when I was twenty-two,” he replied.
She stilled. Had she heard that right? “Say that again?” she said, whipping her head around to study him.
He lifted a shoulder. “I had a vasectomy when I was twenty-two.” He paused.
“I don’t want to make it sound like I slept around a lot, although I probably did.
But condoms and other birth control aren’t always reliable, and I’d lived around enough kids with deadbeat dads that I never wanted to be one.
Not even accidentally. So I got the surgery. ”
“Did you do it thinking you’d get it reversed later if you decided you wanted kids?” An option for men that wasn’t as reliable for women.
He frowned and shook his head. “I like kids. Don’t have anything against them.
If I were committed to someone who really wanted them, I’d have the surgery.
I don’t think kids define a person, though.
They become an aspect of a person’s life, an important one, but they aren’t the whole person.
Ava is more than her kids; Philly and Callie will be more than parents.
And I have a family. I’ll likely have lots of nieces and nephews coming along in the next few years, too.
My life has meaning and purpose with or without kids. ”
She remained silent as he turned onto the driveway to the cabin, the car filled with the sound of the tires crunching on the fresh snow layering the unheated portion of the driveway.
A quarter mile in, they hit the gate. She’d forgotten that only her biometrics were in the system. Grimacing, she reached for her coat.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“The security system, it will only register my palm.”
He unlatched his seat belt and adjusted his seat back before gesturing to his lap. She laughed at his solution, then scrambled over. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been in his lap before.
The reader needed her left palm, so she sat, her back to his front.
The heat of his body curled around her, and she snuggled against him as he rolled the window down.
When she leaned over to enter the code and set her palm on the reader, his hand slid under her shirt, cupping her breast, his length hardening against her backside.
The security system clicked, and the gates started swinging open. With one hand toying, teasing her body, he nudged her back inside and rolled the window up.
“I guarantee I’m clean,” his whisper rumbled over her ear before he took the lobe between his teeth. “If you can say the same, we’re going bare tonight. I want to feel your skin on mine, feel your heat scorching me.”
He tugged down the cup of her bra, and she arched into his hand. He knew exactly how his words, his proposal, sounded to her. Easing his foot off the brake, he let the car roll forward.
“Are we going bare tonight, Daphne?” he demanded, giving her a sharp pinch, the ridges of his fingers rough on her sensitive skin. She couldn’t help but imagine what he’d feel like sliding inside her, his skin against hers as he thrust into her.
“Daph?”
She let her head fall against his shoulder. “If you can get us home in the next thirty seconds, we can do whatever you want.”