Chapter 36
CHANTEL
“Is he not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Abella observes me with the small bundle in my arms. “Apart from Nella, of course.”
“You say that at least once a day,” Valentina teases her.
“She can say it every day because it’s true,” Mariella points out.
I smile down at baby Niccolo, humming the melody of a familiar lullaby as I rock him back to sleep.
He came into this world on a Tuesday, with what Abella lovingly described as his father’s temper. Baby Nico wasn’t happy about being evicted from his mother’s womb, but at four weeks, he’s fully embraced his broody disposition. It is, notoriously, a Vitale trait.
“What song is that you’re humming?” Lucia asks. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it.”
“It’s something my mother used to sing to me when I was a child,” I confess, leaving out the part that it’s Greek.
Silence settles over the table, and when I glance up, all the girls are watching me.
I know it’s because I don’t talk about my mother. There have been times over the years when someone in our friend group quietly slipped a question about her into the conversation, but I’ve always shut it down.
It hurt too much to talk about her, so I avoided it. But pregnancy has changed my relationship with that grief.
Before, when I thought about my mother, every memory was overshadowed by the trauma of her death.
I witnessed something no child should ever have to carry, and I was trapped inside that horror for so long, I’d almost forgotten all the good. Now, I’m starting to remember the things I thought I’d lost, and I’m realizing they still exist in me.
What she gave me, nobody can ever take away. The songs she used to sing. The stories she used to read. Her smile, her laugh, and the way I felt whenever she was with me. It’s only because of her that I knew what love was, and as brief as it may have been, her love will live on through me.
I’ll pass those same stories and songs down to my children, and in that way, there will always be a little piece of her here with us.
“Hey, Mama,” Cristian murmurs against my ear.
“Hi.” I smile up at him.
“I like this.” Warmth floods his eyes as he observes me with the baby.
“I know you do.” Amusement touches my voice.
There’s nothing ambiguous about the way he looks at me now that the soft curve of my belly is visible.
I’m in my sixteenth week of pregnancy, and my body is starting to change.
Cristian loves it, and with every passing day, I know he’s imagining what it will be like when I’m holding our baby in my arms.
As happy as I am, it’s also a reminder that, at some point, I’ll need to do the thing I’ve been putting off.
It’s been on my mind since he gave me the ring—which turned out to be an oval diamond with the word Aeterna engraved on the band.
It means eternal.
I cried when I opened it, and I’ve been trying it on at least once a day when he’s busy working. It feels like the happy ending I never thought I could have.
If only we could skip past the bad part.
“I have to go into the city,” Cristian tells me.
“Okay.” I nod.
That news doesn’t make me panic as much as it used to.
They still haven’t found Elias, but he’s been off the radar for so long, part of me hopes he just gave up. Although I still don’t like the idea of him being out in the world after everything he’s done, I also just want that chapter of my life closed.
“Do you know how long you’ll be?” I ask.
“A few hours at least,” he says. “But I’ll check in to let you know.”
“Thank you.”
He palms my face and gives me a long, lingering kiss in front of everyone.
It’s only when Rafe makes a smart-ass remark from across the patio that Cristian pulls away and flips his brother off.
Rafe smirks, and Cristian glances back at me.
“I’ll see you soon, gattina.”
“See you soon,” I murmur.
He presses one last kiss to the top of my head and leaves, and only when he’s out of sight do the comments start.
“Holy hell.” Serafina fans herself. “That man is feral for you.”
“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around when this even happened,” Val says.
“It’s a long story.”
“Not that long,” Gabi argues. “He was so obviously into you.”
“Please enlighten us.” Abella shoots her a look.
“Well, for starters, he always had that stormy expression on his face when he looked at her, and trust me when I say I know it well.”
“Your husband is the king of stormy expressions,” Val agrees.
Gabi’s cheeks pinken. “He really is. But I used to think he hated me, just like Chantel thought Cristian hated her. That’s why it was so obvious to me.
He would steal your drinks, make comments to get a reaction out of you, and act like you were the bane of his existence.
But when you weren’t paying attention, I caught him watching you more than a few times. ”
“Really?”
A flutter stirs in my chest as I imagine the cold, broody Cristian I used to know watching me when I didn’t even realize it.
“Yep.” Gabi shrugs. “I had a feeling this might happen eventually.”
“Well, apparently we all need to pay more attention.” Serafina laughs.
“Yes, we’re all very happy that you’re getting railed by an Italian god every night,” Lucia says. “But more importantly, where do we find one of our own?”
“Well, he does have two single brothers,” Abella points out.
“Yeah, right.” Lucia huffs in amusement. “Those two will live the bachelor life forever.”
“Wait, what happened to Gio?” I ask.
“Ugg,” Lucia groans. “He turned out to be a run-of-the-mill cliché. I caught him banging a cocktail waitress in the bathroom. Mind you, this was while we were on a date.”
“God, what a prick.” Serafina rolls her eyes. “This is why I want to stay single forever.”
“I hear you.” Lucia sighs. “It’s grim out there.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “That really sucks.”
“Want me to have Romeo blow up his entire life?” Gabi asks. “Because he totally will.”
All of us laugh, because as crazy as it sounds…it’s also accurate.
“Eh, I can’t be bothered.” Lucia shrugs. “I’m going to have myself a thank-you-next party and get revenge by living my best life.”
“What does a thank-you-next party consist of?” Val asks.
“Drinking while my friends tell me I can do better.”
We all nod as if we suspected as much.
“Hey.” Mariella joins us at the table. “Sorry I’m late.”
“We’re just happy you’re here,” Serafina says. “It feels like forever since we’ve all seen each other.”
“It does,” Lucia agrees. “Next time the island goes on lockdown, I want to be held hostage with you.”
“Fair enough.” Mariella laughs.
“Okay, we should probably get this meeting started,” Abella says. “We can go over The Fifth House stuff quickly before we move onto Aegis. Because I guarantee I’m gonna have to feed a hungry baby any minute now.”
“Alright, let’s get started then.” Val nods.
Abella taps away on her tablet as she goes over our monthly insights for the digital publication.
Technically, The Fifth House is for members of The Society, but I write my sex column under a pseudonym, so only my friends know who’s behind the name.
The website caters to women specifically, with a variety of topics on style, fashion, health and beauty, and other relevant interests.
I’ve enjoyed being part of it, not only because I get to spend time with my friends, but because it’s really helped me.
Women who come from backgrounds like mine and those of The Society are often taught that sex is for a man’s pleasure. Many are undereducated on topics that are considered taboo among polite company, and depending on how closely monitored they are, they may not even be able to do their own research.
My column is buried within a variety of others, making it easier to hide in plain sight. If a man were to flip through the publication, there’s a good chance he’d write it off as boring women’s interests before he ever reached that section.
Writing has been therapeutic for me, and I’ve learned a lot along the way, which is what gave me the courage to go to Sanctum in the first place.
As I sit here now, it’s hard not to imagine how different my life would be if I’d never done that.
“Okay, let’s plan out the topics for next month,” Abella says, her voice drifting into the background as I receive a text.
I pause to check it, thinking it might be Cristian. But what I find makes my stomach drop.
We need to meet. D knows where you are. Come to the north cove ASAP. You can access it via the woods on the backside of the Vitale property - A
On the rare occasions Ares has texted me, he’s always used burner phones with different numbers. He told me if things ever went south fast, he’d give me a heads-up so I could escape.
That’s no longer an option for me, but if Damian knows where I am, I’m living on borrowed time if I don’t find out what’s going on.
I move on autopilot, rising from my seat and handing Nico off to Val as I try to act as normal as I can.
“I’m so sorry,” I interrupt. “I have to go make a phone call. It’s important.”
“Okay, no problem,” Abella says. “I’ll get your topic for next month later.”
I nod, walking into the house on stiff legs as I consider what comes next. This is the absolute worst-case scenario I’ve been waiting for, and it’s too big to handle all at once. So I break it down into steps.
The first thing I need to do is get out of the house without being noticed, which makes the courtyard and front entry nonviable options.
Abella’s wing has a direct exit to the back woods, and I know Angelo is currently off the island, so it’s my best bet for now.
I pick up my pace as I enter their part of the house, feeling like any moment I might be caught.
As my heart races and nausea churns in my stomach, it brings to the forefront how different things have been for me here.
It happened so gradually that I didn’t even realize what a relief it was to unpack my life and let down my guard for a while. Before I came to the island, I spent years planning for every emergency, saving cash, and constantly looking over my shoulder.