CHAPTER 3 Terms
It was fully dark outside once the plane took off, and the melancholy hit me in the gut by surprise. I was expecting to feel this way once a few days had passed and we were back home, but not the very second we left. It was anxiety-inducing, to say the least, and even almost paralyzing to think about the future. About what our lives would really look like once we got home.
The past few days in South Africa had been a dream, and I wasn’t ready to wake up.
Cape Town quickly became a cluster of tiny twinkling lights, so I sighed and pulled down the window’s screen.
William dropped a quick kiss on my lips and stood. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nodded and smiled as I watched him walk up the aisle toward the cockpit.
“Can I help you with a refill, miss? Or anything else to drink?” the flight attendant asked sweetly, lifting the almost empty glass of water from the table in front of me.
“Ah, yes, please. More water, and do you have any wine?”
“Red?”
“Please.” I widened my eyes and nodded, making her chuckle under her breath.
“I’ll be right back with your drinks, miss. We’ll be serving dinner shortly.”
“Thank you so much.” I smiled as I watched her turn around and approach David and Aaron, who also asked for their glasses of water to be refilled. They couldn’t see me watching them from where I sat slightly behind them and across the aisle, but I caught Aaron staring at the flight attendant as she walked away. David nudged his shoulder against Aaron’s, clearly teasing him about it, but he quickly looked away with a frown.
That must’ve been the first time I ever saw Aaron looking at a woman like that, with want in his eyes. He was always so uptight and collected.
So alone.
But he didn’t know I was watching, and since it had been a long and exhausting trip, maybe that’s why he allowed himself to let his guard down for half a second and take a look at the flight attendant’s curvy ass.
I cared about Aaron, and I wished he would someday find someone to love that would love him back. Someone that would keep him company. But I also knew him well enough to know where his loyalty and priorities lay. My father and his job.
We’d been through so much together, and I couldn’t deal with the discomfort that kept brewing between us since he arrived in Cape Town.
William shut the cockpit door behind him and snatched a beer from the kitchen on his way back to me. The flight attendant walked close behind him, carrying a small tray with our drinks, which she placed on the table as soon as William retook his seat beside me.
“Can I get you anything else, Mr. Sj?berg?”
“I’m fine, Amy. Thank you,” he said, lifting his beer and taking a quick sip. “I’ll have a glass of cabernet with dinner, though, whenever that’s ready.”
“Of course.” Smiling, she turned on her heel and advanced toward Aaron and David to give them their drinks.
I took a long sip of my wine and leaned in to say, “So, you fly private so much that you’re on a first-name basis with the flight attendant?”
“Are you jealous, ?lskling?” William lifted a brow and drew his face closer to mine. “That I know her name?”
I wasn’t, but I was in the mood to tease him. It was inevitable to want to have him tease me back when we played these little games.
“Never.”
William’s lips were an inch away from mine, and we’d kissed so many times already, but I once again found myself breathing harder and feeling a heat igniting in my core.
“Amy,” he said, kissing the corner of my mouth, “is wearing a name tag, and this is the first time I’ve seen her in my life.”
Duh.
William tickled my waist, and I let out a cry that turned into laughter. Aaron and David inevitably looked our way for a second but quickly went back to their conversation.
Amy served dinner fifteen minutes later, and it was delicious. Meat, potatoes, salad, bread, and wine. She brought an assortment of pastries to choose from for dessert afterward.
“She’ll take the mini strawberry pies,” William said to her with a laugh. Amy seemed confused as she reached for the small black plate with the pies to place it in front of me.
Sliding the plate to his side, I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. “I’ll take the chocolate fudge cake, Amy. Thank you.”
“She hates strawberries,” William said, dipping a finger in the glaze and bringing it to his mouth. “Mmm … this is good.”
“Oh! I see.” Amy chuckled as she placed the chocolate cake on the table for me.
“Thank you so much.” I picked up the fork and took a piece of cake to my mouth.
“Try one.” William held a strawberry in front of my face.
“You’re insane!” I sipped my wine and wiped my mouth with my napkin. “And obsessed with this strawberry subject.”
“Very much. Now try it.” He brought the piece of seedy fruit closer to my lips, and I closed my eyes and opened my mouth. I shuddered and chewed as quickly as I could. The glaze was good, though.
“Sorry. Still hate them.”
“You’re just being stubborn.” William sucked the glaze off his fingers. “I’m sure you’ll like them eventually.”
“Don’t get your hopes up.” I leaned in and dropped a sweet peck on his lips.
Once we were done, we kicked off our shoes and moved to the couch behind the seats.
William opened his arms, inviting me to snuggle beside him.
“He’s so mad at me,” I whispered, jerking my chin toward Aaron. “I’ve tried talking to him a few times, but he’s shutting me out. I want to talk to him before arriving in New York. It’s unsettling not knowing what’s going on inside his head. I’m not used to him being upset with me like this.”
“Why don’t you talk to him right now?” William suggested, his fingers teasing my scalp. “I can wait in the bedroom to give you some privacy.”
“There’s a bedroom?”
“It’s tiny, but yeah.”
“I always have so much trouble sleeping during flights. This will be my first time sleeping on an actual bed. Hopefully, I’ll get a few hours of sleep before arriving in London so I don’t look like a zombie.”
“A first, you say?” He pulled my chin up with a finger and kissed me softly. His lips tasted sweet from dessert.
“You can scratch that off your list.” I sat up straight and reached out for my bag from the small coffee table. “I should take my sleeping pill right now so it kicks in right after I’m done talking to Aaron.” I rummaged through my bag, looking for the medication. “That is if he agrees to talk to me in the first place.”
“You’re not taking these,” William said matter-of-factly, snatching the bottle of pills from my grasp. “You’re joining the mile-high club tonight, and I need you to be awake for it. I’ll even make sure you don’t need to take one afterward.”
“Shhh!” I placed a finger over his lips. “William!” I widened my eyes. He had practically shouted that for everyone to hear. William threw his head back against the sofa and laughed a wicked laugh.
“Relax, they’re not listening.”
I leaned in and placed my lips against his ear. “What if I told you I’m already a member?”
“No way.” His tone was serious, and his voice got a little graver.
Nodding, I blinked slowly and said, “Yes, way.”
He considered me for a few long seconds until my face started giving me away. My lips puckered against my will, the corners lifting slightly into a smile. And then, when I couldn’t hold his speculative gaze any longer, I snort-laughed.
“Do I look like a member to you?”
“You look like someone who’s absolutely going to be one.” His hand moved to my ass and squeezed it. He gave me my sleeping pills back. “Don’t you dare take one of these.” He stood and lifted his arms over his head to stretch. His t-shirt pulled up and revealed that delicious and prominent “V” on his lower abdomen, and I couldn’t help but follow it with my eyes. Maybe talking to Aaron could wait.
“Miss Murphy?” Aaron’s voice brought me back to reality.
“Ah … yes, Aaron?” I flicked my gaze from William to him in a split second.
“Could I have a word with you, Miss?”
“Yes.” I rose from my seat. “Yes, of course. I—would love that.”
“I’ll be in the bedroom.” William pressed his lips into a tight smile and nodded. “Take your time, ?lskling.”
I nodded back and saw William disappearing into the small room at the rear.
“Do you want to sit here, or …?” I began to offer.
“Thank you.” Aaron took a seat on the couch, and I joined him. He rubbed his thighs with his palms a few times as if wondering how to get this conversation going.
“I’m sorry, Aaron,” I said as an opening statement. “I really am. I know I’m putting you in a very tough position with my father by having done what I did. But I’ll talk to him. I’ll make it better.”
“It’s been a while since I last saw your father that furious,” he said. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be losing my job once we get back. But I’m ready. I failed him. And I failed you.”
“Aaron, you did no such thing.” I shook my head in disagreement.
“We’ll see …”
We stared at each other briefly, but it wasn’t awkward. We’d gone through enough together, Aaron and I, and more often than not, words became expendable. We knew each other well enough to be able to fill in the gaps in our conversation by observation. He was disappointed in himself for having allowed this to happen on his watch, and I felt terrible because of it.
But we both knew what was waiting for us back home.
“You’re my responsibility,” he finally said, breaking the silence.
“And I’m an adult, Aaron. I’ve only ever fantasized about stepping a toe out of line. I’ve never been hard to look after.” I took a deep breath and sighed. “And I’m sorry I dragged you and David into this mess. I’m sorry to have put both of your jobs on the line because of this, but I read Caleb’s letter, and it’s safe to say I might not be needing security in the near future. Not anymore.” Amena wasn’t on duty that day, so she was technically the only one who was “safe” from retaliation.
Aaron’s eyes went wide with panic, but he quickly reeled in his reaction, and his features went back to being stoic.
“What … exactly did that letter say?” His words were gentle, like a soft breeze, as if dreading to know the answer.
“Everything,” I said quickly, my voice firm. “I know my mother’s death was a mistake. I know about the NDAs he made everyone sign. And … Caleb’s feelings for me.”
“That’s it?”
“Why? Is there anything else I need to know?” I scoffed. “Anything Caleb left out? Any more lies or secrets?”
“No, I—”
“Aaron, what else is my father hiding from me?” I had him cornered, and that wasn’t a usual occurrence.
“I just wanted to know how—thorough—Caleb had been in his letter,” he countered. “You know, Caleb almost didn’t make it to New York.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, your father fired him. He didn’t offer Caleb a job in New York.”
“What?” I almost shouted my response. How was I only now finding out about this?
“Since he’s dead, I suppose there’s no reason to keep up with the secrecy regarding such a matter. But for practical and legal reasons, let’s keep this between us.”
My head shook with disbelief.
“Why wasn’t Caleb offered a job in New York?” I now understood why Caleb had acted so weird in Paris those last few days before we left. He kept giving me these looks.
No wonder.
I wish I would’ve known then.
Aaron looked away, and I wasn’t sure if he was second-guessing himself about telling me these things, but I needed answers. He couldn’t leave me in the dark. Not when it was something Caleb-related.
“Aaron,” I pressed.
“Your father figured out Caleb’s feelings for you and wanted him gone.”
“So, how did Caleb convince him to keep his job? I know how my father can be when he makes up his mind about something. He doesn’t easily change his mind.”
“Miss Murphy.” Aaron’s eyes were pleading, but I wasn’t backing down.
“Aaron, enough is enough.” My voice was firm, and I wasn’t fucking around. Caleb’s letter had given me the leverage I needed to demand answers. “What contract did Caleb have to sign to keep his job? What did Caleb have to give up?” I was beginning to learn my father never allowed something without taking something for himself. Looking back at my life growing up, it had always been that way. Like the more recent, You can live on your own, but you’ll have more security.
“You.”
“Excuse me?” I almost choked on my saliva.
“He gave you up.”
No. “H-how?”
“How do you think?” He clicked his tongue and looked away.
“A contract?”
Aaron nodded.
“Another NDA?”
He nodded again.
“What were the consequences of breaching said contract?” I asked, aware that I was pushing Aaron too hard. I needed to tread carefully if I wanted this conversation to continue.
“Miss Murphy … I’ve said enough,” he said, his tone resolute. “I suggest you take your questions directly to your father. You can always say Caleb mentioned something of the sort in the letter he left for you. You need to understand I’m legally bound, and if it weren’t for that, I’d tell you everything I know.”
Everything he knows.
“Okay,” I said with a sigh. “I understand.”
I wondered if he meant this matter in particular or if there were any other things—important things—he was leaving out of the conversation.
My head was pounding at this point, making me feel almost lightheaded with anger and disbelief. The lengths my father had gone to to get his way. It was beyond frustrating and disappointing.
“Aaron, you need to know that I will request to have my security removed when we get back to New York.”
It was best to tear off the band-aid at once. It felt like a breakup. But worse. Aaron was like a brother; losing him would feel like losing a limb. I’d already lost Caleb, and half my heart was gone with him. And a part of me felt peace knowing that as long as Aaron was around, we would somehow keep Caleb’s memory alive longer than we ever could on our own if we parted ways.
Aaron chuckled under his breath. “Don’t worry, miss. I don’t think you’ll have any security left by the time you address this issue with your father.” He took a deep breath as if trying to gather himself emotionally. The tension and vulnerability of the situation was palpable, and it was hovering relentlessly around us. “We will be replaced, Miss Murphy. But I doubt your father will let you walk away from this without getting his way.”
“I don’t want to replace you, Aaron,” I quickly said. “But you need to understand that I can’t live like this forever. I need to live and breathe on my own. It’s been too long.”
He cleared his throat a couple of times. “I … agree. And it’s what Caleb would’ve wanted. To see you living your life being free, making mistakes, and learning from them. On your own.” He cleared his throat again. “I think I have something stuck in my throat. Please, excuse me for a second, miss.” He got up and fetched his glass of water.
I could feel my eyes gathering moisture, and suddenly I had “something stuck in my throat too.” The thought of not having Aaron around was hard enough. But not having him around now that Caleb was gone? I wasn’t going to be able to deal on my own. Knowing I had William by my side to help me through this would provide me the confidence I needed to confront my dad about all these matters. It would be the end of an era—a rebirth of sorts.
Aaron retook his seat next to me, looking a bit more collected.
“I must admit I was furious,” he said with a faint laugh. “I am a man of routine and loyalty and duty, and … I know things will change after this. Whether we’re ready for it or not.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered back. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” I leaned in and hugged him tightly. He hugged me back and patted my shoulders in a very Aaron-like manner, as if terrified to reveal any emotion in the exchange. I rested my face on his chest and felt how he finally relaxed and allowed himself to give in to the warm embrace.
He then held my shoulders at arm’s length, looked me straight in the eye, and said, “Never be sorry for wanting to live your life on your own terms.”