CHAPTER 10 Grow the Fuck Up
William’s lawyer had sent me a confidentiality agreement slash dating contract and a request to conduct a complete STI/STD lab work. A business card for the suggested lab was included so I could make an appointment.
Did this mean William didn’t trust me? And if so, what was the point of even dating? We were starting out, so there was still time to reconsider before it got too painful to end things. Not that it wouldn’t be either way. Receiving these documents made me feel like I was just another girl on the dating roster. Nothing special.
Another girl, another contract.
Was it best to call my dad and accept his new agreement to have my apartment back and live my life without security? Because there was no way I would be okay with any of this.
But that’s not what I wanted. I wanted William, the version of him before I received this package.
I was a messy mix of furious and sad. How could William ask me not to get mad? To trust him on this? It was too late either way because we’d been having unprotected sex for the past week, so at least that part didn’t make any sense.
With shaky hands, I grabbed my phone and texted him.
Me:Loveliest surprise to come home to. An absolute gem.
I tossed in a photo of the documents and the lab request letter with the following sentence:
Me:What is love without trust?
Then, I grabbed the documents and ripped them in half. Who knew I’d have to do that twice on the same day? What was it with everyone’s obsession to have people legally bound to them? And these were the two men who “loved me the most.”
Fuck this.
There was no way I would’ve been able to go back to bed, so I took a shower, changed into leggings and a light sweater, and poured myself some coffee. After finishing my second cup, I checked my phone and saw a few missed calls from William and a text.
W.S.:Guille pick up the phone.
I ignored him. I wasn’t in the mood to discuss something like this over the phone, and I was emotionally drained at this point. He would arrive later in the day, and I would hear him out, but I didn’t know what else he could say to get me on board or excited about the documents he’d sent my way. He’d made me feel like what we had wasn’t special enough to trust me.
It was best to cool off before he returned.
My pantry and fridge were empty, and I was starving, so I ordered a pizza from Alessandro’s and laid down on my sofa to listen to some music as I waited for it to arrive.
My doorbell rang. It was Aaron and the delivery guy. I paid for the pizza and grabbed the box. The delivery guy excused himself, but Aaron lingered.
“You’ve been crying, Miss?” His brow furrowed slightly.
“No.” I had. I cried a little bit. Or maybe a lot because I didn’t want to be in this situation. Everything felt upside down. My reality was adjusting, and I normally welcomed change; I was used to it. But things were moving erratically. And not only did I feel like I wasn’t in control, but I also actually wasn’t.
“What happened?” Aaron’s tone was cold. Things were going to be awkward between us for a while, but I didn’t want to be reminded of that on top of everything else I had going on. I loved Aaron. Ironically, having him around offered a certain stability and normalcy to my life. He was also the one person who tied me the most to Caleb’s memory. But it was bittersweet nonetheless because his presence never failed to remind me of how my father still had a firm hold on me.
Still carrying the large pizza box, I closed my eyes and sighed. I had every intention of eating my feelings, and I wanted to get to that ASAP.
“I’m guessing nothing you don’t already know,” I replied, offering him a stiff smile. “My dad is selling the apartment and wants me to move in with him. He has made it clear he disapproves of my relationship with William. So he offered me a deal: break it off with William, keep the apartment, and live without security.”
The corner of his mouth tugged down. “He always finds a way to win.” He said that almost to himself, but I heard him all right.
“No shit.” I snorted and shook my head. “And now William did something stupid, and I don’t want to see his face.”
It was weird for me to open up so much to Aaron about my personal life, but I wasn’t ready to let my friends know I was back. And I knew I needed to vent.
Aaron would have to do for now.
“Want me to keep an eye out here?”
“No,” I said quickly. “No, that’s fine. I’ll deal with him later. Go rest. I’m not planning to leave my apartment until tomorrow for school.”
Aaron considered me in silence.
“I’ll be okay. I promise.”
He seemed unconvinced. “Text me if you need to go anywhere.”
“I will.”
He gave a curt nod and left.
I sat to eat and devoured five slices of pizza until I couldn’t think anymore. But it only enhanced that awful hangover-like feeling I’d been dragging all day, and that’s when the sadness crept up on me. So I moved to my bedroom and flopped on the bed, hugging my pillow.
There was a gentle knock on the door. It had to be William. He knew I preferred it over my doorbell.
Knowing he had arrived made me even more emotional because I was afraid of where our conversation would lead. And I didn’t want him to see me like this either. How was I to think straight when I was all over the place?
Pretending to be asleep until I calmed myself sounded like a good idea, but my phone buzzed, and I knew I didn’t have the self-restraint to ignore it.
W.S.:I can hear you crying across the wall. Please let me explain. Let me hold you.
That made me angry again. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to send those documents and ruin everything? I was now sobbing against my pillows. A couple of minutes later my phone buzzed again.
W.S.: I’m coming in. This is not how I wanted you to find out about your surprise.
Seconds later, a light squeaking noise sounded behind me. I turned around toward the wall that divided our bedrooms, and what seemed like a concealed door revealed itself, and William was now inside my room.
“What … the hell is this?” I sat up on the bed and observed how he closed it back into place, perplexed, and watched the door disappear and become a wall once again, like magic. The horizontal pattern on the wallpaper made it hard to identify before, but now I couldn’t unsee the thin crevice that made out the door’s silhouette. And I honestly had been so tired since I arrived to even notice anything different.
William placed a call on his phone and put it on speaker while sitting on the bed next to me. He curved a hand behind my neck and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. His warm tongue parted my lips, and I allowed him to deepen it by arching my neck.
I abruptly broke it off. “I’m furious.”
“I know.” His eyes stared down intensely into mine, and the way he looked at me disarmed me. Mentally, I was furious, but emotionally he had me at his feet. Still, I needed to focus. “Let me fix this.”
Nodding, I took a deep breath, feeling somewhat relieved because this entire situation seemed like nothing but a misunderstanding.
“How’s my golden boy doing?” The man on the other side of the line spoke brightly. The screen read, Warren.
William’s publicist.
“Not very good, I’m afraid,” William replied, his tone dark and gravelly. “I just got off the phone with my lawyer, and he confirmed that you requested a confidentiality agreement, including lab work for my girlfriend when I specifically told you last week that we wouldn’t need one. And I only disclosed this personal information so you could do your job and try to keep my relationship away from the media for as long as possible.”
“William, you know the protocol. I know you think this is—”
“Warren, you’re fired.”
“Excuse me?” The man yelled, losing all composure.
“I said you’re fired, Warren.”
“You’re kidding me, right? We’ve worked together since you started out in the business. And I took you in,” he blurted out, his voice becoming increasingly agitated as he continued. But he stopped talking, sighed, and took a few seconds to compose himself. “So I messed up. Forget it ever happened. You want to go commando on this one? No judgments here. You know I’m always looking after you. You’re my favorite client, for fuck’s sake.”
“Please get in touch with my lawyer to discuss the early termination of your contract.” William pressed a soft kiss to my temple. “He’s expecting your call.”
“You’re gonna regret this, William,” Warren scoffed. “I’m the best out there, and you know it. So don’t come crawling back when things go to shit and the girl goes live on a talk show to tell ‘em the exact length of your dick or claim she’s carrying your twins.” With that lovely thought, Warren ended the call.
I audibly gasped, staring at William’s screen with indignation. I felt so stupid now to have doubted William, but how could I not have?
“Sorry about that. He’s an asshole.”
We stared at each other for a second before erupting into laughter.
“Let me get a measuring tape,” I said, getting up from the bed. “We need to get that dick measured for my exclusive interview with Talk Magazine. I’ll be right back.”
Chuckling, William grabbed my arm and pulled me back next to him. “We know it’s big enough to make you sore.”
The way he could make me blush. “Cocky man.”
“Precisely.” He smiled a small, wicked smile.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes. His manhood was beyond perfect in length and girth, but he already knew that.
“Warren’s insane and ridiculous.” I tried to switch back to the subject at hand. “Good riddance, huh?”
“I regret not doing it sooner.” William tossed his phone to the side. “Now get over here.” He laid back on the bed, pulling me in for a hug. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
“No, I’m sorry. I assumed wrong.” I hugged him tight enough that I couldn’t breathe myself. I felt terrible. “But you said there was something waiting for me back home and asked me not to get mad. It was hard to imagine that the surprise was that you had cut a hole in my wall to make an invisible door.” I laughed against his chest.
“Our wall.” He pulled up my chin and kissed me again. “Do you hate it?”
“Are you kidding me?” I stood and pushed it a little to peek inside William’s bedroom. It was so tidy. “I love it. This is brilliant, actually. That way, we can bypass the surveillance cameras outside my apartment.”
“That too.” He snorted out a weak laugh.
I let the door snap back into place and rested my palms over it for a few seconds before turning around. As lovely a gesture as it was, we wouldn’t be able to use it much since I would be moving out soon. But I couldn’t make myself talk about that. Not yet.
“You okay?” William asked.
“Yeah.” I turned around, smiling, and cuddled beside him on the bed. A part of me was still hoping my dad wouldn’t go through with the sale and that he would rethink his decision to be so drastic. He didn’t have to approve of my relationship with William. All I wanted was trust and respect from him. But he’d given me none of either.
I could agree to have Aaron following me around forever if that’s what it took to make my father feel somewhat at ease, but moving in with him?
Never.
“I missed you today,” he said, running his fingers through my hair.
“I missed you too.”
“All I could think of was how badly I wanted to make love to you in that hot tub they’re installing.” He squeezed my breast a little, earning him a jagged breath from me. “It’ll be ready soon. And I want you to wear a tiny bikini so I can untie the straps with my teeth.”
“I don’t think I own any skimpy, stringy bikinis.” I grabbed his face and kissed his cheeks. “But I’ll make sure to get one.”
“I’ll get it for you.” He frowned and cupped my breasts. “I’m getting your measurements.” His hands slid down to my ass and squeezed it. “Okay, that should suffice.”
I laughed. “You’ve known my size for a while.”
“You’re right. I just wanted to feel you up.”
I laughed.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” I asked. “Coffee? Tea? Water? I don’t have much, but I have some leftover pizza from earlier if you’re hungry.”
“Pizza and water sound great.”
We got up from the bed and walked out of my room, and as we walked past the foyer, William stopped and stared at the empty gallery wall. “So when are you putting up my portrait on the boyfriend wall?”
“Boyfriend wall?” I crossed my arms at my chest and lifted my brows.
“Yeah, that’s what it is, isn’t it?”
“Eh, I don’t know.” I stared at the white wall, tilting my head. “I think it’s best to wait it out for a few months to see if we have a real future before investing in a large print and the cost of framing.”
“You’re begging to be punished.” William grabbed me by the waist and tossed me over his shoulder, spanking me once. Hard. But he rubbed the spot afterward to soothe the burn. I couldn’t stop laughing as he took me to the kitchen.
“Put me down!” I tried tickling his waist, but it did nothing to him. “You’re going to bang my head against the door frame!” I felt the kitchen’s door frame swish by too close to the top of my head.
“Everything’s been calculated.” He put me down in front of the island countertop and bent me over, lightly pressing my cheek against the cold marble.
“William,” I breathed, feeling his arousal against my lower back and my skin vibrating from his touch. “Okay, I learned my lesson. I’ll put your photo on the boyfriend wall.” I chuckled, hoping to tease him with my comment.
“Oh, you will, baby.” He searched for the hem of my leggings and slipped them down along with my underwear. “But this will teach you to trust me and never doubt me again.”
I knew this was a kinky game he liked to play, but it was inevitably laced with truth. I’d foolishly allowed myself to think he was the one who had ordered his lawyer to send me the documents when he hadn’t. It didn’t make sense to me that he would, but I doubted my instincts and him.
Again.
I knew he wasn’t mad and that he understood how easy it’d been to misconstrue things, but I still wanted to let him know it wouldn’t happen again. Ever.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you earlier,” I said, the last word almost a gasp as he entered me slowly, allowing me to adjust to him. “You know I trust you.”
“And I trust you, ?lskling.” He gripped the flesh of my hips, digging his fingers into them, and quickly intensified the rhythm to punishing thrusts that made tears pool in the corners of my eyes. “No—matter—what.”
“Always.”
We sat in my dining room as he ate the leftover pizza. This was the first time we had officially hung out in my apartment, and it would be one of the last times too, even if he didn’t know it.
“Were you having issues with Warren?” I asked, trying to avoid making the conversation about myself and how things went with my dad. “You mentioned you should’ve fired him a while ago.”
“Not gonna lie, Warren’s great at what he does.” William took another bite of his pizza and chewed while I waited for him to continue expanding. “He’s one of the best in the industry, but I was growing tired of his style. He’d often make rash decisions without consulting me, claiming to have my best interest at heart. And I was willing to overlook his erratic tendencies when it came to business. But when it relates to my personal life? I can’t risk it anymore. He meddles too much.”
“That sucks.” I propped my elbows on the table and rested my chin on top of my hands. “So, what are you planning to do now?”
“I’ll call my dad tomorrow and see what he thinks.” He took a sip of his water and grabbed the last slice of pizza from the box.
“And what about his publicist? Or your brothers’?”
“They all have a different publicist. It’s mostly about who makes you feel comfortable. And I’m not opposed to talking to their publicists. I know them. They’re good. But I know a couple of people who have shown interest in the past that might be a good fit for me. So I’ll ask Alice to set up a meeting with them.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” I smiled.
“So when will you tell me how things went with your dad?” William wiped his mouth with a napkin and rested his forearms on the table, leaning toward me. “You’ve been tiptoeing around the subject.”
“I have?” Busted.
“Yeah, and you seem anxious.”
“Oh.” I sighed, feeling defeated, and stopped moving my feet when I realized I was shaking them against the floor.
“That bad?”
I nodded. “He made it clear he disapproves of us being in a relationship.”
“Shocking. What else?”
“He gave me two options.” I stared at my hands as I pulled a napkin apart into tiny pieces. “The first option came with a contract. The main condition was that I should end things with you, and I would, in return, gain more freedom. No more security, and I get to keep my apartment.”
“What do you mean by keep your apartment? And what’s the second option?”
“He’s selling the apartment.” Dropping the napkin, I looked up to meet his gaze and took a deep breath. “Second option means no freedom and Aaron sticks around.”
“Guille.”
“It’s done,” I said adamantly. William needed to understand that the first option wasn’t viable for me. “He said he already had an offer for the apartment. He was waiting to talk to me to accept or decline it. But with how we left things earlier, he’s definitely going to accept that offer.”
“He can’t leave you alone, can he?”
“It’s his apartment, and he can do with it as he pleases.” The words burned on my tongue. Being driven out of my place felt unfair, but I knew I needed to learn to look out for myself. It was my father’s apartment, after all. And I couldn’t expect to have freedom while still living under his roof and swiping his credit cards left and right.
William took a deep breath and considered me in silence.
“He wants me to move in with him,” I finally revealed.
“No fucking way.” William shook his head. “If anything, you’re moving in with me.”
“William, no.” We’d been dating for five minutes. I refused to move in with him, not like this. “This is why I didn’t want to talk about this. I don’t want you to feel like I’m your responsibility. I’ll figure it out.”
“We’ll figure it out.” He grabbed my hand between his. “You’re not on your own. Even if that’s how he wants you to feel.”
“I’m still hoping it was something he said in the heat of the moment,” I added. “Maybe he won’t go through with it and he just wanted to scare me a little to teach me a lesson. This apartment is a great investment. It wouldn’t be wise to sell it.” However, I was learning that wasn’t how my father operated. His every move was thoroughly assessed and calculated. He wasn’t one to throw around empty threats.
“We’ll have to wait and see.”
I stood and sat on William’s lap. “He won’t be happy about the secret door in the wall.” I ran my arms around his neck and laughed.
“Oh, he’s going to be thrilled.” He pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “Did he mention anything about money? You know I can gladly cover any expenses if he decides to lower your spending or cut you off.”
“He didn’t mention it.” Na?vely, I hadn’t thought about that. Money was my father’s greatest weapon to control me. If he took away my apartment, I could find somewhere to live while I figured things out. I had friends and a boyfriend, and even if living with William wasn’t ideal, at least I could have the certainty that I wouldn’t be homeless. But if he cut me off entirely? I swallowed hard at the thought. I needed to think of something. Fast. “I guess I could apply for financial aid or a student loan and talk to the magazine to see if there are any open part-time positions I would be a good fit for if that were to happen.”
William looked away and kept shaking his head with disapproval.
“Why do you seem so disappointed?”
“Because I want to take care of you, and I already know you won’t let me.”
“William.” I ran my fingers through his hair and couldn’t help but chuckle, even if this conversation was anything but funny. But he was so cute when he was annoyed. “You are the kindest, sweetest, and most thoughtful human being on the planet. I’ve seen the things you’ve done for your family, and I couldn’t adore that generous side of you more. So, believe me when I say I would love to be able to accept your money and hospitality and be done with my father for good, but I can’t. I told you I am not your responsibility, and I don’t want to burden our relationship with these issues so early on. Or ever.”
“I don’t feel responsible for you. I love you and have enough money that sometimes I don’t even know what to do with it, so why not use it to help you?”
“Because I need to learn how to take care of myself, William.” I sighed. “And I need to grow the fuck up.”