Chapter Twelve
Matt woke in increments, becoming aware of two things: That the room was pitch dark and he needed to piss like a racehorse.
Struggling his way out of the mound of pillows, he climbed off the bed and hobbled for the bathroom.
As he washed his hands afterward, he realized his mouth tasted like someone had taken a shit in it, so he fumbled for his toothbrush.
Finally, all minty fresh, bladder empty, he headed back to bed to find the lamp on and Shane sitting up rubbing his eyes. “Everything okay?” he asked, voice hoarse from sleep.
“Yeah, sorry.” Matt lay down and shoved at the pillows, trying to get them just right. “Nature calling.”
Shane helped him get situated, saying, “Your knees look better. Not so swollen.”
“They feel better. I think I’ll try and go for a run later, see how they do. Although Bernson said PT will be light for the first few days after we go back, mostly stretching.”
“You’ll crush it as usual, Matt. No doubt in my mind.”
When Shane leaned over him to switch the lamp off, Matt touched his shoulder. “Thanks,” he said quietly. “For everything. I mean it.”
Shane looked down at him, his blue eyes warm. “You’re welcome.” A click of the switch, and the room plunged once more into darkness. The bed rocked as Shane punched at his pillow before falling back against it with a sigh.
Matt lay there, acutely aware of Shane’s body only inches away from his.
He’s not in your class anymore. You won’t be seeing him every day, not as much distraction. Matt jammed his arm over his eyes as the devil on his shoulder whispered in his ear.
“What’re you thinking about? I can hear those gears grinding from here.”
Matt jumped as Shane’s voice came at him from the darkness. After a moment he gave a rueful chuckle, deciding he had nothing to lose by being honest.
“If you wanna know the truth, I’m lying here trying to figure out how to have my cake and eat it, too.”
“Oh, really?” The bed jostled again as Shane rolled to his side, his tone husky with amusement. “I love cake.”
“I’m sure you do, Mr. Popularity. You probably have people throwing themselves at you right and left.” The thought sent a surprising frisson of jealousy through him. What’s wrong with you? You’re not gonna be staking any claim here.
Matt cleared his throat. “I don’t have it that often, myself. I think I can count the pieces I’ve had on one hand.”
“Having cake isn’t a casual thing for you, then.”
“No, it’s not. I’m pretty picky about my cake, to be honest.” Matt grunted. “Jesus, this is a ridiculous conversation. I really want to fuck you and I’m tired of pretending like I don’t.”
A brief second of shocked silence, and then Shane burst out laughing. “Your bluntness was one of the first things I noticed about you,” he wheezed. “I like it.”
Matt waited for him to catch his breath. “I don’t wanna wait for graduation but I don’t see how we can make this work.”
“Listen.” Shane leaned across him to flip the light on again, resting his hand on Matt’s chest when he was done. “I could say something like ‘We just go with it and have fun,’ ’cause that’s the kind of person I am. You’re the type of guy who weighs every possible outcome before making a decision.”
“Probably why I don’t get a lot of cake.”
Shane chuckled. “So what possible outcome are you most worried about?” As he spoke, Shane rubbed his palm in slow circles over Matt’s belly, delving his fingertips ever so slightly beneath the sheet pooled at his hips. Matt arched his back, purring at the sensual touch.
“People finding out?” Shane prompted, the circles getting a little bigger, the sheet sliding a little lower.
“No,” Matt gasped. “I’m not worried about either one of us being discreet. I guess it’s just—”
“The distraction part?”
Matt smoothed his hands over Shane’s chest, reveling in the feel of hard muscle under hair-dusted skin. “Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t think you should worry about that.
” Shane twitched the sheet completely away, his fingertips flirting with the waistband of Matt’s straining underwear.
“I’ve never met anyone so focused and determined in my life.
” He leaned down to brush his lips over Matt’s.
“You made it through Hell Week, for fuck’s sake. What does that say about you?”
“Aren’t you worried about it?” Matt gazed at him steadily, remembering the Chief Howe incident and Shane’s white, haunted face.
Shane closed his eyes. “Yeah, I definitely learned my lesson that day, that I need to compartmentalize better.” He paused. “Honestly, if we weren’t in separate classes now, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation.”
Matt nodded. Shane continued to stroke his hip, his touch light, undemanding, no pressure, just letting Matt know where he stood. That, and the fact he was even willing to talk about this went a long way, and Matt could feel himself relaxing.
He linked his arms loosely around Shane’s neck and studied him. “I don’t want to lose your friendship either,” he admitted. “You’re about the only friend I’ve got.”
Shane’s expression turned tense. Matt cupped his cheek. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” Shane sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s just, sometimes sex and friendship don’t mix, you’re right about that.” He shook his head. “I don’t have the answers here, Matt.”
“Well, neither do I, so I guess we’ll just bumble our way through this. How about, training always comes first, friendship second, sex last?” He laughed when Shane gave a mock scowl. “I know, that sounds really weird, especially when all I can think about when I’m around you is the last one.”
“Good thing you won’t be around me much, then. I’m gonna have to start First Phase back at the beginning. God help me.”
Matt gave a commiserating groan and their eyes met. “Hey.” He stroked the nape of Shane’s neck with his thumb. “Thanks for talking this out with me. It means a lot.”
Shane gave a careless shrug. “I’m a talker and a hugger. Get used to it.”
“And I’m—” Matt paused. What was he?
“Prickly as hell.” Shane bent his head to kiss him softly. “As I said before… I like it.”
Matt let his eyes drift shut as Shane’s lips settled fully over his. Rolling around on wet concrete or in a muddy backyard while high on competitiveness and adrenaline was hot, but there was definitely something to be said for long, slow, drugging kisses while being held close in a proper bed.
“What do you want?” Matt whispered as Shane eased away and nuzzled his cheek.
“I want you to sleep.” Shane arranged the pillows once again under Matt’s knees. “I was serious when I said I didn’t bring you over here for this.”
“What? I wasn’t complaining.”
“I know, but you’re tired and sore.” Shane flipped the light off once again. “You’re gonna need all your stamina to keep up with me, so get some rest.”
Matt grumbled under his breath as Shane lay down and pulled the covers over both of them, but truth be told, exhaustion was still lurking along the edges of his consciousness, not to mention the myriad aches and pains that made themselves known every time he moved.
He sighed. “You could at least blow me and ease my stress.”
“I could. But what would I get in return?” Shane’s voice was teasing. “You grunting in pain? ‘Oh, Shane, you’re so big. Get that enormous thing out of my mouth.’” He made a mock gagging sound, then laughed when Matt reached over and smacked him on the chest.
“Shut up, you idiot.”
“Shutting up.” Shane pressed a kiss to Matt’s shoulder. “Night, Soup.”
Matt fell asleep with a smile on his face.
* * *
When he woke again the sun was high in the sky.
Shane was nowhere to be seen and his side of the bed was ice cold.
Matt struggled to sit up and peered at the clock on the nightstand.
One in the afternoon. Shit. He pushed to his feet and took a few cautious steps, pleased to notice there was just the faintest of twinges in his knees.
Amazing what some good sustained rest could do.
He dressed in a pair of running shorts and a tank top, relieved that he’d remembered to pack his sneakers. The mental fog that had been a part of him for days was gone, and except for a gnawing hunger, he felt much like his old self again. His pre–Hell Week self.
Shane wasn’t in the kitchen either, but he’d left a note saying he’d taken Matt’s truck to run a few errands and he’d be back ASAP.
Matt perused the contents of the fridge before whipping up a thick ham and cheese omelet that he devoured in a few large bites.
He drank a glass of water, then went out to the porch to do some stretching, enjoying the afternoon sun and cool breeze from the nearby ocean.
Heading off down the sidewalk at a slow jog, Matt kept it light and easy.
It didn’t take long for him to realize he wasn’t a hundred percent yet, so he did two measly miles down and back, telling himself to be patient.
The sight of his truck parked in Shane’s driveway added some much-needed spring to his step at the end, and he went into a few quick cool-down stretches, wincing at the residual stiffness he couldn’t seem to work out.
He was guzzling another glass of water in the kitchen when Shane walked in from the direction of the bedroom, holding a checkbook in his hand. “Hey, how was your run?”
Matt grimaced. “Pathetic. Four miles and I feel like I’ve been trampled by a herd of buffalo.”
“You’ll get there.” Shane tossed his checkbook down and grabbed a Coke from the fridge.
Matt traced his eyes over his torso-hugging white T-shirt and low-slung jeans.
He was wearing a blue baseball cap backward and some mirrored sunglasses were hanging from the neckline of his shirt. Damn, he looked good enough to eat.
Matt cleared his throat. “What, uh, what’s the deal with you going forward? You said you’re starting First Phase back over at the beginning?”
“Unfortunately, yeah.” Shane leaned against the counter and crossed his legs at the ankle, Coke bottle clasped loosely between his fingers.
“I’ll start in three weeks with the next class, which is in Indoc now.
Until then I’m supposed to keep my fitness level up and help in the training center offices as needed. ”
“In other words, you’ll be the instructors’ bitch.”
“Pretty much. But I can handle it. Besides, the delay will give me a chance to work on my O-course times.”
“That’s a very glass-half-full way to look at being a gofer for three weeks.”
Shrugging, Shane finished off his drink. “You and I both know they could’ve let me DOR without a backward glance. Instead, they found a way to keep me. No matter what, I’m not gonna complain.”
It was true. First Phase was a ruthless weeding-out process more than anything else. One sign of weakness and guys were history. If the instructor cadre had been willing to work with Shane, they obviously held him in high regard.
“Well, it’s gonna suck ass. Better you than me.”
Shane set the empty bottle on the counter and sauntered toward him, backing Matt up until he was pressed against the island. “By the weekends I’m gonna be really stressed out, you know,” he murmured, sliding his hands onto Matt’s hips. “I might need a lot of, er, stress relief.”
“Right.” Matt rolled his eyes even as he lifted his face. Shane’s lips were slightly cold from the Coke, and the contrast with his hot, wet tongue instantly ratcheted Matt’s desire to a fever pitch. Trapped between the counter and Shane’s hard, aroused body, Matt was drowning in sensory overload.
“Mmm.” He tipped his head back helplessly as Shane broke the kiss only to mouth along his throat.
His stubble rasped lightly on Matt’s sensitive skin, that, along with the softness of his lips, driving Matt wild.
Clutching on to his shoulders, he arched against him, unable to keep from whimpering a protest when Shane dropped one last kiss to the tip of his nose and reluctantly let his hands slide away.
“Not yet.” Shane ran the backs of his fingers along Matt’s cheek. “You just put your gorgeous self through a hell of a lot, so I can wait.”
“I can’t.” Matt smoothed his palms along Shane’s broad chest, reveling in being able to touch him freely at last. “I have a couple of hours…”
Shane captured his hands and squeezed them.
“With everything I wanna do to you, we’d need more than a couple of hours.
Plus you wouldn’t be able to walk for a week.
I’m not that selfish.” Pressing one last kiss to Matt’s fingers, he let go of him and moved away, leaving Matt throbbing with arousal and an unexpected tenderness.
“Okay,” he rasped. “I guess I should get back to base and start organizing for the week, then. You need a ride somewhere first?”
“Shit.” Shane snatched up his checkbook and tucked it in his back pocket. “I’ve been talking to a local car dealership so I ran over there this morning to do a test drive on something I’ve had my eye on. Think I’m ready to make a deal. Do you mind dropping me off there?”
“Of course not.”
Matt went into the bedroom to grab his backpack, and when they pulled up in front of the dealership, Shane turned to face him. “Have a good week, okay? I guess I’ll see you…sometime.” He gave a what-can-you-do shrug, his eyes tinged with resignation.
Matt nodded, wrestling with a ridiculous urge to kiss him goodbye, right here in the cab of his truck. “Good luck. I don’t envy you. At all.”
“I’ll survive. You’re definitely giving me something to look forward to.”
With a wink Shane climbed out and ambled toward the entrance to the dealership, a man in a rumpled suit hurrying out to meet him.
After a moment Matt shoved the truck into gear and drove away, the taste of Coke and Shane still lingering on his lips.