Chapter Twenty-Three #3
In the next instant Alexis was running toward him and Shane grabbed her up in his arms, hugging her tightly.
“I’m sorry, Shane,” she gasped out. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, baby girl,” he said, rocking her, holding her close. “It’s okay.” He smoothed her hair back from her forehead. “Let’s go inside and talk. It’s gonna be okay.”
She nodded, wiping her eyes, and after she’d gone inside, Shane turned to Matt. “Go on back to base,” he said quietly. “I’ll have her drop me off later.”
“Yeah. Go.” Matt nodded toward the house. “I’ll be around.”
Shane lifted his chin to brush a gentle kiss over his mouth. “Talk to you soon.”
As he started to walk away, Matt grabbed his hand to stop him. “If we do this,” he burst out, “we have to keep everything on the down-low. I’m not planning to come out to my team, not right away. It’ll be hard enough as new guys without giving them any more ammunition.”
When he and Shane got to their teams, they’d be known as “fucking new guys” and, even though it was a rite of passage and everyone went through it, the hazing would be brutal.
Keeping their heads down and their mouths shut was the best way to survive it; no new guy wanted to stand out or draw attention to himself.
“Anything you want.” Shane’s gaze was steady on his. “I’m serious. I’ll do anything for you.”
“I know you will. I know.” Blowing out a breath, Matt hooked him around the neck and pulled his head down for a short, hard kiss. “I love you, Shane.”
“Ah, babe.” Shane reached out to caress Matt’s cheek with trembling fingers. “Me, too,” he whispered. “But I have to go. Lex—”
“Go,” Matt said hastily. “She needs you now. Come find me later.” He poked him in the chest. “After your physics test.”
“Hooyah.”
They let go of each other reluctantly, and Shane backed away until he reached the porch steps. Right before he disappeared through his front door, he turned and looked over his shoulder. “We got this, Soup. Okay? We got this.”
When he’d gone, Matt leaned against the bed of his truck, staring at the house, already counting the hours until he could see him again.
Maybe when they got their billets and things were more settled, Matt could move in here with him.
They could work on Shane’s renovations together, really make this a home…
Then he snorted.
Dreaming of the white picket fence already, dumbass?
“Well, why not?” he said aloud, tilting his face up to the sky and closing his eyes. Why not dream? After all, if anyone had told him he’d go to BUD/S and end up falling in love, he’d have laughed in their face and probably punched it, too.
Fate has a fucked-up sense of humor, that’s for sure.
The night was cool, the sea breeze cutting through Matt’s clothes, which were starting to dry to an uncomfortable stiffness. He itched in places he really didn’t want to think about, but still, he lingered, strangely reluctant to leave.
Time passed as he drifted, lost in thought, dreaming, planning. Suddenly the front door opened again, and a tall figure emerged. Matt pushed off the truck, already striding toward the house as a hoarse voice called, “Soup? You still there?”
Matt flew up the porch steps and into Shane’s arms. “I’m still here,” he whispered, gathering him close. “I’m still here.”
Clutching on to him, Shane let the tears come, his body shuddering against Matt’s, the waves of grief and pain pouring off him as he mourned his lost friend, and his relationship with his beloved sister, now forever changed.
“Let it out,” Matt murmured over and over, stroking his hair. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
When the storm finally passed, and they sat on the top step leaning against each other, Shane rasped, “That was the hardest fucking conversation I’ve ever had in my entire life.”
Matt kissed his shoulder. “I can’t even imagine. Is everything gonna be okay?”
“Eventually.” Shane heaved an unsteady sigh. “That whole time we were talking, I kept kicking myself for telling you to leave, because I—”
“For some reason I couldn’t leave.” Matt entwined their fingers and squeezed. “I meant to, but I guess something deep inside was telling me you’d need me. So I stayed.”
“I think you really do love me.” Shane’s tired voice throbbed with satisfaction, his eyes gleaming. “Does this mean I get Mushy Matt?”
“Hmph. My capacity for mush is pretty limited, but—” Matt cupped Shane’s face, leaning in to brush his lips over his forehead, his cheeks, and finally his mouth, punctuating each kiss with a whispered “I love you.”
“Mmm. I like it.” Shane grinned, and he looked so beautiful in the moonlight that all Matt’s breath left his lungs in a whoosh. “Go ahead, you can call me a clown now. I know you’re dying to.”
Matt shook his head. “Nah,” he grunted. “We’ll go back to being SEALs and clowns tomorrow. Tonight you’re just my boyfriend.” He stood and yanked Shane to his feet. “Now get me into a fucking shower, fast. This itching is about to make me lose my mind.”
Shane’s deep laugh echoed in the night air. “Never change, Soup,” he said, opening the door and ushering Matt through it with a sharp slap to the ass. “Never change.”