Chapter 19
AVA
“I think it’s about time we cross something off your bucket list, don’t you?” I wave my spoon at Valen after licking off the ice cream. A sweet treat is always a must, even if most people consider it too early in the day.
“What did you have in mind?” Valen leans against the wall with his lean legs crossed. I almost drool at the gorgeous man holding his tiny dog in his arms. Pom Pom looks up at him with round brown eyes full of love, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.
That’s going in the spank bank.
Forcing those thoughts from my head, I say, “The ice rink just opened for the season, and I’ve been waiting all year to go. It’s so much fun.”
“What do you do there?” he asks curiously.
“Ice skate! You put special shoes on that have a blade on the bottom that allow you to glide over ice. They usually have it decorated nicely and play music while you skate,” I explain and pull my hair up in a ponytail. His eyes track the movement with undisguised interest.
“Sounds strange and dangerous.”
I roll my eyes at him and grab a coat off the rack by the door. “That’s what you say about almost everything. Let’s go.” My zipper gets stuck, and I pull on it to no avail. “Ugh, come on.”
My hair blows around my face as Valen appears in front of me and carefully pulls the zipper up. While he does it, he locks eyes with me and continues to glide it toward my neck.
“Stop making mundane tasks hot!” I sputter and accidentally hit him with my ponytail as I spin around. “My lady bits can only take so much.” I throw my hands in the air.
Valen chuckles and grabs his own coat, pulling it on with ease. “Let us roll.”
I pat his chest. “Let’s roll, big guy, but close enough.”
“What the fuck?” I fight not to fall for what feels like the hundredth time while Valen skates circles around me.
“Isn’t this your first time? How are you this good?
” Annoyance creeps into my tone. It’s entirely unfair that he’s good at everything.
I’m now determined to find something he sucks at—perhaps knitting, though he’s unusually good with his hands, or maybe drawing.
“Correct.” He makes a circle around me. “But it feels similar to a training exercise we used to follow. Muscle memory, I suppose,” Valen concedes and playfully sprays me with a little bit of ice from his skates. “It feels a bit like flying,” he says in a wistful voice.
I wonder if he misses it—being an angel—but I don’t want to ask and ruin the fun we’re having.
I do an awkward shuffle to attempt to walk on the ice but slip once more. My arms flail out as I try to grab on to anything, but I’m too far from the boards. Resigning myself to my fate, I close my eyes and brace for impact … only it never comes.
“Clumsy, tiny one,” Valen chides as he pulls me around into the circle of his embrace. His hands lock on my hips and help push me forward.
He holds me steady as we skate around. Every so often, his fingers flex against my hips like he’s holding himself back from squeezing me tighter. It’s on the tip of my tongue to beg him to do just that.
The fact that Valen is a virgin in all ways is adorable and yet terrifying at the same time. I want to continue to go at his pace and help him experiment with what he likes, but I’m also desperate for more.
Lost in my head, it takes a moment to realize how Valen has locked up in a different way or how his breath comes out in harsh pants near my ear.
I glance around to see what’s affected him this way and find a large group of people on the ice.
The number of skaters has increased exponentially, and our little corner is packed.
“Ava,” Valen whimpers, and I give his forearm a squeeze.
The way he immediately seeks comfort from me has my heart warming. Despite the chill in the air, I suddenly feel hot all over.
“Let’s get off the ice,” I soothe and start to lead him toward the exit. He’s stiff with panic, and I wish I could hold his hand, but he still has a firm hold on my hips. “That’s right,” I encourage. “You’re doing great.”
The pressure of his frame against my back makes it feel like he’s boneless and relying on me to get him out.
I hate that crowds are too much for him.
Especially living in Chicago, crowds are inevitable and unavoidable.
In this instance, we’re packed in like sardines, so I understand why it’s triggered him.
“We’re almost there. Just listen to my voice,” I say as gently as I can. “You’re safe and you’re with me.”
Every time Valen has to brush against someone, a small sound of pain comes out of him.
It’s so at odds with his imposing figure and makes me feel violent on his behalf.
I know we’re in a public spot and the people here don’t mean him harm, but I can’t help the possessive feeling crawling out of my stomach.
Finally, after what feels like ages, we make it off the ice and head over to a relatively quiet corner to take our skates off.
“Will you be okay if I grab our things from the locker?” Valen looks devoid of color and stares off into space with a furrowed brow. “Valen?” I ask, worry twisting me into knots.
He nods but holds on to my hand for as long as possible as I step away. I hurry and grab my bag and our shoes. He’s in the same position I left him in when I return, and I encourage him to get his boots on like he’s a small child.
“Left foot up.” I tap his arch, and he complies. “Good job. Now the next foot.” Once his boots are on, I help lace them and feel a weight drop onto my shoulder.
Valen clutches me like I’m his lifeline and nuzzles his head as deep into the crook of my neck as he can.
I close my eyes and inhale his scent. Shivers rack his body, and I whisper reassurances to him.
His breath fans across my neck, and I stroke his hair with gentle fingers.
With him leaning down over me and me kneeling, it feels like an intimate position.
“Too many auras?” I whisper, wanting to confirm.
After a brief silence, he responds with a shaky “Yes. I don’t like when they swarm around, and being touched is still … troublesome for me.”
Since he’s progressed so much with me, I forget how overwhelming everything is for him and how fresh his trauma is.
“But you’re okay with this?” I ask, referring to the way he clings to me.
“Yes.” He holds on tighter.
“I’m sorry for bringing you here. I should’ve known how crowded it would be. I should’ve known it would be too much,” I apologize. I’ll have to think through my ideas for our winter bucket list.
Soft lips press against my pulse, making it jump in surprise. A slight swipe of his tongue has my heart feeling like it’ll beat right out of my chest.
“It is not your fault. Plus, I want to get better.” Valen sighs softly.
We sit there in silence for a while as the sky grows dark and the wind colder.
Children giggle, parents scold, and couples coo over each other while we exist in our own special little bubble.
Valen relaxes against me as I hide him away from the chaos.
At one point a woman walks a little too close, and I give her the stink eye when she almost brushes against Valen’s back. If I were a cat, my claws would be out.
Once he’s settled and not feeling as anxious, we walk hand in hand back to the car and head home to the apartment.