Chapter 15 Amari
AMARI
Istand over the bed, watching Carla sleep. I found her broken in the web, and I don’t have a clue what’s happening. Did one of our children get hurt? I have no way of getting into limbo without her.
She’s been sleeping for hours. Whatever happened, it spooked her bad. I can feel the terror inside of her as she sleeps, and when Carla is broken, so am I. I can’t think, can’t focus on the security system, not when she’s struggling like this.
Oh no. Oh hell no. I need Carla to be happy. Even if that happiness means I need to be away from her.
Carla’s been a protector of Wintermoon since I first met her, and she’s embraced that role. Even when the people she’s protecting haven’t been the best to her.
Her eyes slowly open. I lose it. I flash into the bed with her, pulling her into my arms. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, and her mouth looks dry.
“Goddamnit, Carla. I need you to talk to me.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but only a weak “Amari” comes out.
I hiss angrily at her. Her lips start to tremble and she starts crying again. Shit. I pull her close. “Shit, shit. I’m losing it.”
I start to rock her, panic rising in me.
I can’t lose her. Not like this. I gently place her back down on the mattress, making sure her head rests against the pillow, then slide out of bed.
I change out of my suit into pajamas, a shirt and sweatpants, then flash away with my vampire speed down to the kitchen, practically tearing it apart because I know I need to feed her and I don’t know what to feed her.
Bobby enters the kitchen, but he’s careful in his movements, not wanting to upset his sire.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not, Amari.”
I groan and turn to him with a glare.
“I make a mean grilled cheese. Let me do it.” Bobby flashes over to my side and puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”
I look at him and a tear flashes in my eyes. “I’m going to lose her. I know it.”
Bobby gives me a smile, always cool, always collected. “I have faith in Mother Fate. This is nothing more than a test of your love. Don’t break, brother. Stand firm in what you believe in.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Right now, Carla needs a strong man, and that man is you.”
“I feel like I’m going to break. Like I need to give her approval to let me go. It’s the only way to stop Nathaniel.”
“No, it’s not. We have other options and we haven’t exhausted them yet.” Bobby guides me over to the island and pulls out a chair for me.
I sit down and wipe a tear from my face. “I have never seen her like this, so confused, so broken.”
Bobby starts the process of making grilled cheese. He pulls out artisan sourdough bread, aged white cheddar, gruyere, and Irish butter. He heats the cast iron skillet, takes his time buttering each slice, layers the cheese thick. The kitchen fills with the scent of melting cheese and toasted bread.
“Both of you are lost right now. Both of you are struggling with doing the right thing.” The spatula scrapes against the cast iron as he flips the sandwich.
“I know you and the sacrifices you’ve made even when it was hard.
It was hard for you to watch the horrors of chattel slavery from the shadows.
You know what you did? You found a way to make it easier for us, the Black and Indigenous peoples.
And look at you now? Giving up control of your corporation so that you can love Carla the way she deserves.
You are the furthest man from selfish I know.
You’ve even sacrificed time to build a technology center for the children who don’t understand it. ”
“Why do I have to lose her?”
Bobby plates the sandwich and cuts it in half, then makes a glass of juice. “What if you don’t? What if it’s only temporary? One thing I know about you, Amari. You take a setback and turn it into a solution. You’ve done it many times and you’ll do it again, but this time for your family.”
I smile when he sets the plate in front of me. “That should hold her. I’ll make a pot roast or something while you take care of her.”
“Thank you.”
“Whatever, man. You’re my sire. And I’ve never seen you break like this. I’m tethered to you too, remember. I can feel your pain.”
I nod at that.
“I’ll finish up the research for the enclosure. Go take care of Carla. She needs you. I’ve got it.”
I grab the plate and glass, then stand from the chair.
I walk out of the kitchen, thinking over Bobby’s words.
I walk back up the stairs and make my way to the bedroom, finding Carla sitting up on the bed, nervously biting her lip.
When I reach the bed, she snatches the plate out of my hand before I can offer it to her along with the juice, gulping the entire glass. Then she sets it down on the end table.
I climb into bed with her and watch her scarf down her sandwich. I’m studying her with every bite.
“Sorry for having that breakdown,” she mutters between chews without meeting my eyes.
I chuckle. “I understand why you’ve been freaking out. You are carrying a lot.”
She looks at me. “So are you. You gave up so much to be with me.”
Anger flares through me, but I try not to take it out on her.
When is she going to get it? I suck in a sharp breath, my emotions on edge.
I rub her back gently. “And I’d do it again and again.
” I lean closer. “I never made these sacrifices to be with you because of the mate bond. I did it because I love you. I genuinely love you.”
She smiles at me.
“Now are you going to tell me why you nearly ripped my heart out of my chest a little while ago?”
“I’m scared. I’m scared of what this is going to cost me. And I can feel it building. I’m going to have to make some tough decisions and I don’t know if I can do it.”
I pull the empty plate from her hands and set it on the end table next to the empty glass. “Are you okay? Do you want me to get more food, something to drink?”
“No.”
She climbs into my lap, and I just stare at her.
“This is a test of our love. When you break, Carla, I break with you. I need to stay strong for you and you’ll do the same for me.”
She nods. I cup her face and pull her into a loving kiss. I smile, not being able to help myself. My hands move to her ass, gripping her ass cheeks.
She giggles, and my fondling seems to ease the tension between us.
“I’m scared.”
“So am I.” I squeeze her ass harder, making her giggle again. “I’ll make the contraption and I want you to get with Aya and work on a plan to lure Nathaniel out of hiding.”
“What if it doesn’t work?”
I squeeze her ass hard and she giggles again. “Then we’ll keep trying. The point is we keep working together.”
She cups my face and kisses me again. My dick stiffens the moment I get a sniff of her arousal. That sweet peach scent that drives me insane.
Fuck it.
I flip her onto her back, crawling on top of her. Her legs spread wide for me as I deepen the kiss between us. Looks like I’m getting lucky tonight. And thank Fate for that because I could use a release.
I pull back, yanking her dress over her head. She’s not wearing a bra, and her breasts are perfect, nipples already hard. I dip my head, taking one into my mouth, sucking hard while my hand kneads the other.
“Amari,” she gasps, gripping the back of my head, pushing into her.
I release her nipple with a pop. “I’m going to make you forget everything but my name.”
I kiss down her stomach, pulling off her panties in one swift motion. I spread her thighs wide, staring at her glistening pussy. Beautiful. I lean down, dragging my tongue through her folds, tasting that sweet peach nectar. She arches off the bed, a cry escaping her lips.
I work her with my tongue, flicking over her clit, then dipping inside her. She’s writhing beneath me, her hands gripping the sheets. I slide two fingers inside her, curling them just right while my mouth works her harder.
“Oh god, Amari!”
“That’s right, baby. Let me hear you.”
She comes apart on my tongue, her thighs trembling. I don’t stop, prolonging her release until she’s gasping. I pull back, stripping off my shirt and shoving my sweatpants down. My dick springs free, hard and ready.
I flip her onto her stomach. “On your knees.”
She obeys, that perfect ass in the air. I grip her hips, positioning myself at her entrance. I slide in slowly, watching as I sink deep inside her. The sight of my dick disappearing into her makes me groan. She’s so tight, so wet, gripping me perfectly.
I pull out almost completely, then slam back in. She cries out, pushing back against me. I set a brutal pace, my hips snapping against her ass with each thrust. The sound of skin slapping skin fills the room along with her moans.
“You feel so good,” I growl, gripping her hips harder. I’m sure I’m leaving marks, but I don’t care. I need this. Need her.
I pull out and lean down, spreading her cheeks, my cool breath ghosting over her most intimate place. She trembles beneath me.
“Amari, what are you—”
I drag my tongue over her there, and she gasps. I work her with my tongue, tasting every inch of her while my fingers slide back inside her pussy. She’s moaning, begging, completely undone.
“Please, please, I need—”
I know what she needs. I pull my fingers out, position myself at her entrance again, and slide back in from behind. But this time, I press my thumb against her tight opening, applying gentle pressure.
“Oh god!”
“Relax for me, baby.”
I work my thumb inside slowly while thrusting into her. Both at once have her crying out, her whole body shaking. I’m watching my dick slide in and out of her, glistening with her arousal, while my thumb works her other entrance.
“I’m going to—”
“Come for me.”
She shatters, her whole body convulsing. The feeling of her tightening around me sends me over the edge. I thrust deep one last time, my release pouring into her as I groan her name.
I collapse beside her, pulling her against my chest. She’s panting, practically passing out against me. I just hold her, feeling relieved for now. My fingers tangle in her curls, and I press kisses to her forehead.
“I love you,” I whisper against her skin.
“Love you too,” she mumbles, already half asleep.
I tighten my arms around her. I won’t lose her. I refuse to lose her.