Chapter 21 Amari
AMARI
One month later
Iwalk with Torin through the academy, heading for the technology center. The halls are bright with afternoon sunlight streaming through the windows.
“I can’t believe I was possessed,” Torin says, shaking his head. “I don’t remember any of it.”
“It’s good that you didn’t,” I tell him.
He shrugs, his sandy locs bouncing with the movement. “I’m really sorry about Carla.”
The words sting my still-beating heart, but I maintain my posture, adjusting my suit. “It’s not forever. For a time.”
“Yeah, but still...”
“And the great thing about being a vampire is I have immortality to wait for her.” I force a smile.
We arrive at the technology center and I open the door. Torin steps in and runs up to Nala and Aaron, who are standing by the 3D printer, examining something.
That’s when I notice King Amir standing in the center of the room, looking around with an expression of pride. My steps falter. I frown, but straighten up and approach him.
I bow my head respectfully.
Amir places his hand on my shoulder. “I don’t need formalities from you, Amari. After what your coven did for Wintermoon, for us, we owe you a great debt.”
I shrug, uncomfortable with the praise. “Thank you.”
“Have you heard anything?” His golden eyes study me carefully.
“No. I don’t know how she’s doing and I’m afraid that I’ll never see her again. The children can’t even feel her.” I try to hold back my tears, but one falls anyway, betraying me.
“I have faith in Fate that you will get her back,” Amir says gently.
I shrug and clean my face, adjusting my posture to regain some composure.
Amir looks over to the children as Bobby shows them how to create a 3D wolf print. The printer whirs softly, building the model layer by layer. Torin doesn’t look impressed and grows more irritated when Nala marvels at the technology.
“That’s cute. I can conjure you a wolf carving with my magic, Nala,” Aaron says, blue sparks dancing between his fingers.
Torin rolls his eyes hard enough that I’m surprised they don’t get stuck.
“Young love triangles. That will sort itself out over time.” Amir chuckles. “Aaron needs to grow out of his lust. He will once he becomes an adult.”
Amir starts walking with me toward the door. “What brings you here?” I ask.
“I wanted to marvel at your new creation. And I wanted to check on you.”
“I’m just existing,” I admit, my voice flat.
“I know that feeling more than anyone on this land.”
I look at him, really look at him. “Waiting for Anora so long, since the beginning of time, how did you do it?”
Amir laughs, the sound dark. “Oh, I did well, not counting the fact that I lost control of my temper at the thought of losing her future visits and took out an entire bear shifter clan.”
I wince at that and look over at Nala and Torin, who are staring innocently at us. Bobby quickly gets their attention back on the 3D printer.
Amir chuckles. “I am forever shamed by what I’ve done, but I’m not afraid of my past. It’s good for them to know. The dark history is just as beneficial as the good. It helps them learn from the mistakes of the past. Which is why I’ll never understand why humans love to rewrite history.”
I nod in agreement, thinking of all the erasure I’ve witnessed over the centuries.
“Don’t be a stranger to the royal island,” Amir says.
“I’ll try.”
Amir teleports, leaving me to my thoughts. I wonder if I’ll go mad waiting for her like he almost did. If I’ll lose control. If the separation will break something fundamental inside me.
The day passes like its usual blur. Nothing feels real anymore without Carla. I go through the motions, smile when expected, nod at the right moments. But inside, I’m hollow.
I go back home to Medina Shadow Coven where my men are taking up their usual posts, happy to be home. The castle feels too big now. Too empty.
Tofi greets me the moment I enter, images flashing rapidly. Daddy, Daddy. Mommy, Mommy’s home.
I furrow my brow. “Mommy? No, Tofi baby, Mommy isn’t home.”
I suddenly hear Carla’s voice in my head, and my body goes completely rigid.
Tofi, you’re such a traitor.
I stiffen.
I told Tofi not to say anything, but Daddy’s girl as always had to protect her daddy. She was afraid you’d pass out.
“I think I’m going to, but I don’t think vampires have fainting spells.” My voice shakes.
It’s me. You aren’t going mad.
“How can I hear you?” I grip the doorframe, needing the support.
It took me a while to figure it out. I’m bound to limbo because of my ascension. The living can’t have a goddess walking around for some odd reason.
I put a hand to my chest, stumbling as my world spins upside down. My knees buckle slightly.
Amari. Amari! Worry floods her voice.
I start to cry, choking on the emotions. “I’m okay, Carla. Just give me a minute for this to settle in.” I wipe my face with shaking hands. “It’s been a month. An agonizing month and I hoped for something. Anything.”
I’m sorry.
I sniffle and wipe my face, then look at Tofi who’s approaching me with concern, her legs tapping nervously. “It’s okay, Tofi baby. I’m just happy is all.”
I’m not going to stay in your head all day. Maybe for a few hours every night until I figure out how we can be together again.
“You can stay in my head as long as you want, Carla baby.” I lean against the wall, trying to steady myself.
“The scent on your clothes, on your blankets, it’s fading. I need to see you.”
If I do that, you’ll go insane.
“I’m already going insane being without you.”
Clock’s ticking, Amari, until tomorrow. That’s my rule. Now, talk to me. Catch me up on everything I’ve missed and I’ll tell you how dark and lonely it is in limbo.
I smile, the first genuine smile in a month.
I kick off my shoes and pull off my suit jacket, leaving it in the foyer. Then I roll up my sleeves, exposing my forearms.
“A few hours you say? Let me cook you dinner then.”
I can’t eat with you.
“Pretend. Give me a date night.”
I wish you could feel my blush.
“I can’t, but I’m going to pretend I do.”
I walk into the kitchen and Tofi follows, just watching me like I’ve lost my mind as I pull some ground beef out of the fridge and start making dinner. The familiar ritual soothes me.
“A romantic tradition we have. Me making you a cheeseburger.”
I also pour myself a glass of blood from the fridge and drink it cold. No need to waste time heating it up. I just want to be strong enough so I can enjoy my time with her.
When I get out of here, and I’m back in your arms, I’m catering to you and I don’t give a shit how much you protest. You will sit down and take whatever I give you.
I smirk. “Yes, baby. I am your servant.”
I start droning on about my day, the cute little love triangle between Nala, Torin, and Aaron over the 3D printer. How interesting it was to see Aaron covet Nala when he knows she’s fated to Torin.
“It’s fascinating, really. The boy has no shame. He was literally conjuring magic wolves trying to impress her while Torin looked ready to shift and bite him.”
Boys, Carla says with amusement in her mental voice.
“I’ve been keeping myself busy breaking more code at Brookstone and Blackburn to try and see what Henry is up to.”
Did you find anything out?
“Henry fell off the radar again, completely disappeared. One thing he’s good at is hiding.”
Don’t worry about that. I’ll find him. And I’ll help Damon find the Blackwood spell book he doesn’t want to hand over. I can’t physically intervene, but I can be guidance, offer help when needed.
I stop for a moment, sucking in a breath as emotions of missing her flood through me. My knees start to buckle, but I place my hand on the counter to hold myself up. The ground beef sizzles in the pan, forgotten.
Oh, Amari. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
My eyes darken. “You better not fucking leave me.”
I’m not going anywhere.
Carla giggles in my head.
“Let me finish telling you about my day and you’ll fake eat this burger with me.” I flip the patty with more force than necessary.
I start forming the burger properly, adding cheese, the bun, condiments.
I know it smells good.
“You can’t even smell it.”
Nope. But I don’t care. I choose you, this date, and whatever you come up with during our nightly meetings. You and our children are what matters to me the most.
“You mean everything to me,” I whisper, emotion thick in my voice.
Carla goes quiet for a moment, and I go back to talking her head off. I tell her about everything that’s happened over the past month. About how Bobby’s been keeping the coven running smoothly. About how Tofi and Noki finally started bonding again. About the small victories and the daily struggles.
I conveniently leave out that I starved myself and didn’t sleep for the first week. That Damon had to force-feed me blood to keep me from going into torpor. That I spent three straight days sitting in our bedroom, holding her pillow, breathing in what remained of her scent.
But she probably knows that anyway.
“The children miss you terribly,” I say, placing the burger on a plate. “Moria keeps leaving me images of you. Kemnebi guards your side of the bed like you’re still there.”
Tell them I love them. Tell them I’m working on coming home.
“I will.”
I sit at the kitchen table with my burger and blood, imagining Carla across from me like she used to be. Tofi settles near my feet, content now that she knows her mother can communicate.
“Bobby asked about you today,” I continue. “He wanted to know if the mate bond was still intact.”
Is it?
“Yes. I can feel you. Different than before, but you’re there. Like a constant hum in the back of my mind.”
Good. I was worried it might have severed with the ascension.
“Nothing could sever our bond, Carla. Not distance. Not realms. Not even Mother Fate herself.”
You’re such a romantic.
“Only for you, baby.”
We talk for hours. About nothing and everything. About her loneliness in limbo, about my struggles in the living world. About hope and fear and love that transcends physical boundaries.
Eventually, I feel her presence start to fade.
I have to go. But I’ll be back tomorrow night. Same time.
“I’ll be waiting,” I promise. “I’ll always be waiting.”
I love you, Amari.
“I love you too, Carla. More than immortality itself.”
She fades completely, and I’m alone again. But this time, the loneliness doesn’t feel quite so crushing. Because now I know she’s fighting to come back to me. And I’ll wait forever if that’s what it takes.
I look down at Tofi, who’s staring up at me with her many eyes.
“Tomorrow night,” I tell her. “We’ll talk to Mommy again tomorrow night.”
Tofi sends me images of happiness and patience. Of waiting together. Of family.
I smile and finish my drink, already counting down the hours until I can hear her voice again.