Chapter Forty - Elise
CHAPTER FORTY
Elise
“You know I’m fully capable of putting on a tie, right?” Joshua says, watching me intently in the mirror as I secure his tie.
“Don’t interrupt my concentration,” I hiss.
I step back to admire my handiwork, and Joshua raises an impressed brow. “Where did you even learn to tie a tie?”
I hop on the bathroom counter to sit while Joshua fixes his hair. “My dad taught me when I was young so I could feel like I was helping him get ready for the day.”
“I think I’d like to see you all dressed up,” he muses, coming to stand between my legs.
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Take me out, and I will.”
Joshua kisses my forehead. “I have a video conference at 8:30 tonight, and, unfortunately for me, it won’t be over until late. How about we go out tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow it is.” I try to hide my disappointment with a smile because I hate the idea of falling asleep without him beside me.
Picking me up, Joshua carries me into our bedroom. “What are your plans for the day?”
“I was thinking about reading in the garden after my shift in the kitchen.”
He sets me down but keeps his arm snaked around my waist.
“I’ll wake you up when I come back to the room tonight.”
“Can’t wait.” I reach up to meet his lips one last time before he walks out the door.
Halfway through my session with Ryder, he receives a phone call summoning him elsewhere, so we have to end early.
When I exit the gym, Quincy is waiting for me in the hall, but Nate is nowhere in sight.
It’s been almost a week since I came face to face with my father’s inside man. The initial shock had hit me so hard that I went a sickly shade of white, prompting Joshua to have Dr. Hanes come check me out.
After the doctor cleared me, I had all day to lay in bed and consider how to handle the situation. Contrary to what my conscience is still screaming at me, I’ve chosen not to tell Joshua who Nate is.
I know it’s wrong, but I can’t shake the guilt at the thought of Nate being tortured because I ratted him out. At the same time, I can’t betray Joshua by approaching Nate myself.
So, I decided to do nothing at all.
If Nate wants to talk, he can approach me, but I won’t make the first move.
Only, after six days, he still hasn’t.
I was thankful when my new security duo decided Quincy would stay near me at all times and Nate would keep an eye on the general surroundings from afar.
Luke and Finn were great guys but stifling security.
It also means I only interact with Quincy, a bulky, bald man with fascinating knife-throwing abilities that he’s promised to teach me.
Nate rarely says a word to me.
Sometimes, I wonder if I have it all wrong.
Maybe Nate brought me my food that morning with no idea that the note was there.
After all, he never approached me after that morning, and he didn’t do anything to help me when Joshua found the note.
Wouldn’t my father’s inside man have protected me at all costs?
But then something will happen—Joshua will kiss me, or I’ll laugh with some of the capos—and I’ll catch Nate’s disapproving eye. The look lasts only a moment, but it’s long enough to assure me that I’m right.
Regardless, I plan to let him come to me if he wishes to speak. Until that happens, I’ll go about my life as normal.
I consider asking where he is now, but both my security guards take breaks throughout the day, and I’m not usually out of training this early.
I’m showered and heading to the kitchen within forty-five minutes despite not being needed for another two hours.
The sound of shattering glass echoes in the busy room as soon as I walk in, and I don’t need to look to know who it is.
“Again?” I ask, drawing attention to my entrance. Chuckles sound from around the kitchen as I make my way to the sink.
“Elliot, I swear, if you break any more glasses, we’ll run out.”
Elliot’s face turns the same shade of red as his hair, encouraging the laughter behind us.
“I’ll be more careful, I promise.”
I wave my hand at the boy who’s even newer around here than I am. “Don’t cut yourself cleaning it up.”
“Thanks, Elli.”
I’m surveying the job board of the day when a buff brunet comes into view.
“He’s lucky you walked in when you did,” Elijah mutters. “I was about to rip him a new asshole.”
“Oh, come on. He’s a kid. Cut him some slack.”
Contrary to what I’d feared, things are smoother than ever since my standoff with Elijah. The men around here take my leadership more seriously, which has made my job far more enjoyable.
Elijah and I have even developed a surprisingly pleasant friendship. After I saw Nate and was too nauseous to work the rest of the day, I asked Joshua to put him in charge to help recover his wounded ego. By the time I came back the next day, there wasn’t an ounce of frostiness.
His brows pull together. “I’m not training kids. He needs to toughen up if he’s going to survive here. Besides, dealing with me is nothing compared to dealing with Moreno. Slack is the last thing these recruits need.”
“Fair enough,” I say with a shrug because he’s got a point. “He’s all yours next time. Just don’t make him cry.”
Elijah flashes a mischievous grin that makes me think that’s exactly his goal.
Just like every other day, my time in the kitchen passes in a blur, but not for the reasons it used to.
Losing myself in recipes has been my go-to form of therapy for as long as I can remember, but I rarely have the chance to lose myself these days.
I’m constantly working with the other guys, whether that means teaching them how to operate the appliances or bantering over lunch break.
For the first time in my life, I’m never alone.
When the clock hits six, I do one last round to ensure no one needs me before I head back to my room for a shower.
I throw on a pair of black sweatpants and a gray tank top, letting my hair fall in wet strands around my shoulders to air dry.
My security team dutifully follows me through the halls until we reach the garden.
I’ve just opened my book to the chapter I last left off when Quincy comes to my side. “I’m going to take my dinner break, but I’ll be back in an hour.”
“What? I thought you took a break when I was in the kitchen.”
Every day, Quincy takes his break early, usually while I’m still cooking, which means I never have to be alone with Nate.
“Nate took his break then instead. Is that okay?” He seems to pick up on my anxiety, but I don’t want him to ask any questions, so I wave a dismissive hand.
“Yeah, yeah, of course. I’ll see you later.” I smile, and Quincy gives me a long look before finally turning to leave.
I can feel Nate’s eyes on me as I stare at the words on the page, not reading a single one of them. The air has become stifling in the mere ten minutes that it’s been since Quincy left us.
Something in me knows, without a doubt, that this is it—the moment Nate has been waiting for.
His footsteps announce his approach, but I don’t turn around.
“I was beginning to think I was crazy,” I say. “Why did you wait so long?”
“I’ve been watching.” His voice is a low rumble that brings me back to the day he left that note for me to find.
“And?”
“And I think it’s real.”
I turn to face him, crossing my arms over my chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you actually love him.”
“Of course, I love Joshua. You thought I was pretending?”
Nate takes a step forward. “I hoped and prayed you were pretending. That all of this is a strategy you’re using to escape. But no, you actually care about that bastard.”
“Joshua is a good man.”
He laughs. “You’re delusional.”
“You know, I could tell him who you are, and it’s game-over for you.”
“Then why haven’t you?”
I narrow my eyes but don’t answer.
“And you don’t think Moreno would wonder why his loyal fiancée waited so long to tell him that her security guard is a traitor?”
My expression is unchanging. “Joshua would listen to me.”
“Oh yes, he does have a reputation for being understanding. How did that go when he found the note I left?”
It takes me a second to push away the bile creeping up my throat at the reminder.
“Things were different then,” I say, hating the hesitancy that rattles my voice. “He trusts me now.”
“So, he tells you everything?”
“Yes.”
“Then you know what happened that night at the warehouse?”
I give him a smug smile. “There was a raid. I was there.”
The victory I feel is short-lived because Nate’s smile grows. “That’s all he told you?”
I don’t answer because we both know it is.
“Word gets around quick here. I know that you went to the warehouse before the raid even started because you didn’t trust that Moreno was telling you everything.”
I open my mouth to ask how he could possibly know that but close it just as quickly. I painfully remember how I confessed that very truth to Joshua while sobbing into his chest, surrounded by his men who heard everything.
“It’s no secret that Joshua and I have had our issues. He asked me to trust him, and I do. He only wants to protect me.”
I briefly wonder which one of us I’m trying to convince.
“What if I told you that you were right? That there was something Moreno was hiding from you that night?” His words add a hundred-pound weight to my heart.
“You’re just trying to get in my head.”
“On the contrary, I’m the only one being honest with you.”
“Then what is it?” I snap. “What am I missing?”
He raises his hands in surrender. “I think we’ve established that you don’t trust me, and that’s okay because I’m not asking you to. You can see it for yourself.”
“How?” I ask, knowingly taking the bait.
“Moreno’s office is unlocked. All you need to do is look at his computer. It’s all there.”
“What if I don’t want to know?” Living in ignorance is a coward’s solution, but it sounds so much better than potentially shattering the slice of happiness I’ve managed to find despite everything I’ve been through.
Nate shrugs. “I think we both know you do.”
I don’t move a muscle as Nate turns to leave.