16. Thayer
Chapter Sixteen
Thayer
Hardy and I split up for the ride into work this morning. One’s been with Lea, but we know at some point, he’ll get us. I really don’t give a fuck; he’s my brother, not my boss. Hardy, on the other hand, is freaking out. I have no clue why.
Walking into my office early, no one’s around in either building, so I get to work on my current order. An hour later, my secretary has stepped out to make a run for samples when I hear my door chime. Thinking it’s a customer, I walk out to meet them.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Hardy tugs me into a kiss. His hands find my ass so he can press his growing cock into me. I’m wet and more than ready to take him to my office for a quickie.
“Hey, handsome. Wanna go mess around in my office? I’ve got about twenty minutes before Joyce gets back,” I say, tugging at his waistband as I step backward.
Just as I think he’s going to agree, the chime on the door rings out.
Hardy rolls his eyes as I peer around him, praying I can hand over a business card and set up a meeting later.
No such luck. One stands in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, trying his best to look intimidating.
Oh, damn it to hell. My hesitation makes Hardy turn toward the door, and suddenly his face washes out of all color. Is he gonna faint?
“Well, what do we have here? You two been sneaking around long?” Hardy spins around, grabbing my hand.
I have to admit, it takes me by surprise. I really thought he wouldn’t stand up to One. Not because he’s scared of One but out of respect for him. He loves One as much as I do, and I can’t help but think, if One asks him to break up with me, Hardy may very well do it.
“We chose not to tell anyone until we were sure where it was going. I’m sorry if you feel like I’ve betrayed you, brother.
I love her, One. I want to marry her. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want her.
I hope you can respect that and accept us.
I know I’m not the man you may have wanted for her, but I’m going to be the man she wants.
The man she deserves.” Hardy’s hand squeezes mine and releases on tempo with his words. His conviction behind everyone spoken.
“I see. Thayer, do you have anything to say?” Hardy tightens his grip on my hand as I clear my throat.
“I love him. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but honestly, you raised me strong and independent.
You taught me to be discerning, how to look past mistakes, and give credit for triumphs.
Hardy is a good man; I hope to always be by his side.
I pray you all will love us and accept our decision.
” Leaning into Hardy’s shoulder, his hand begins to sweat. He wants One’s permission so severely.
“Well, kiss your woman. We need to talk and get some work done today. The insurance commissioner is breathing down my damn neck. I’ll need Hardy a little more over the coming weeks, Thayer, until this is resolved.
I hope you both can understand; it has nothing to do with your relationship.
” His arms fall to his side in a relaxed position.
“Of course, it’s fine.” Hardy stands there, his eyes flicker between us. “Love you; I’ll be home around six.” I smile at him, hoping he’ll move or breathe.
“I’ll call. I, ah, I’ll call.” Hardy must be in shock by the looks of him as One stands there chuckling.
“Well, hell, Hardy. Kiss her, or I’ll never hear the end of it. Hurry, we need to move. Go see Lea; she’s having a tough time.” One walks over, leans in, placing a kiss on my head, like when I was a little girl.
“Will do.” Tiptoeing, I kiss Hardy and send him on his way.
Before One gets out the door, I add, “Please, for the love of all that’s holy, be good to him. For me. For him, he loves you as much as I do.” One smirks as he grunts.
Watching as they pull away in One’s truck, I have an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.
On the other end of the parking lot, I see that old, beat-up Ford pickup.
It looks exactly like the one from the hospital and Hardy’s house.
Slowly, it pulls onto the highway, driving in the other direction.
Finishing up my orders early, I call Lea and drive over for a visit. It’s a hot day, and the traffic is heavy due to vacationers. Still, I don’t mind. I spend the extra time thinking of Hardy. He was so worried about One, but his reaction was more shocked than anything.
I make the final turn onto Lea’s street when I see the old Ford behind me. Pulling into Lea’s driveway, the truck slows to a stop just before the turn. I jump from my car, running to Lea’s door, and beat on it as hard as I can.
“Lea, it’s me. It’s Thayer; please open your door!” I’m screaming at this point. Her door moving with every blow I land before it swings wide, and I rush inside.
“What the hell? Are you okay?” Lea checks me like one of her kids to see if I’m harmed. Glancing over her shoulder, I know the door is still open.
“Shut the fucking door; someone’s following me!” Lunging at the door, I slam it shut, locking it after.
“Where’s your brother? Who is it?” Lea peaks out the blinds just as the truck moves on. “Was that it?”
“Yes. I’ve seen it four times in the last few weeks. Just sitting. It was at the office earlier today, and it followed me here.” My voice quivers as my body shakes. I can’t rid myself of the bad feeling I’ve had all day.
“They’re gone now. Do you want to call the police?” Lea yanks her phone from her back pocket.
“No, it’s fine. Stupid shit just gave me the creeps.” I shudder at the thought.
“I get it. Drinks?” she asks as she gives me a reassuring smile.
“Please,” I answer with a sigh.
“So tell me about you and Hardy. How’s it going? Why the hell did it take him so long?” Lea cocks an inquiring eyebrow.
“Really? You’re asking why someone waited? Should we call One for this talk?” I giggle as I twist my face trying to look astonished.
“Touché. But we’re talking about Hardy and not me. Spill, bitch.” Lea hands me a Sangria as we walk to the couch.
“He’s scared. Not for normal reasons. Oddly enough, it’s because he thinks he isn’t good enough.” My chest heaves as I try to hold back my tears. Thinking of Hardy’s young life crushes me.
“I get it. You and Malone are amazing. People like Hardy and myself don’t accept love as easily as others because, at some point, it needs to be reciprocated.
It’s extremely self-deprecating; we’re wired that way.
I’ll never live up to the way your brother says he loves me.
” She plays with her drink as she stares off into the distance.
“I’m not even sure what that means, Lea.
Live up to what? Love? Us? Love is love.
Can it be profound? Yes. Can it be fucked up?
Yes. But at the end of the day, it’s about you and the one person in this world who doesn’t care if you’re a fucking mess.
They just want to be in that fucked up shit with you.
One and I both have made dumbass mistakes in our life.
We have regrets.” Lea studies me and my words before questioning me.
“Thayer, what if it doesn’t work out? You’ve given everything to him, and the truth is, there’s still so much you don’t know. Malone doesn’t even know everything about him. Malone and I are still learning; I’m not sure where we’ll end up.” Lea waits for my answer as if her life depends on it.
“Maybe it won’t. Maybe we’ll be together for a hundred years, Lea.
What are you asking me? Will I regret loving him?
Will I regret laying it all out there on the line, to love him for as long as possible?
No. No, Lea, I’ll not regret it. I’ll love him until I can’t.
I know it’s fast. I know what people will say if it doesn’t work out.
But if I don’t try, if I don’t love him with everything I have, I’ll regret that.
I’ll regret missing out on a man who has fought his whole life to find love.
To find someone who won’t leave. To have someone that will love him despite his mistakes and missteps.
What greater love is there than a love we don’t deserve?
Man, to live with the love of your life, not deserving of it but working every day to try.
Both of you working together to make the other person think you deserve their love.
I can’t stop this; I’ve tried.” We both wipe away tears as we think about our greatest loves.
Lea and I walk to the beach after that, sitting there, allowing the surf to be the only thing we hear.
The tides beating against each other, fighting to be at the top of the wave.
How often do we dream of finding love? Ripping ourselves apart, destroying all our bad parts, hoping to rise to the top?
My stomach twists and turns, thinking about Hardy.
What if we don’t work out? We are so different.
Some say opposites attract. Are we too unalike that we’ll not work?
I have no clue. All I know is I want Hardy.
All of his scars and bruises. His mistakes and misgivings are a part of who he has become.
I can’t hold his past against him. If it were me, I wouldn’t want to be held to a different standard.
“Lea, have you been completely honest with One? I think I could handle anything life could throw at us, as long as Hardy is honest with me. I just need to know what I’m facing before the world knows.
” Glancing over at Lea, I know her answer before she says it; she hasn’t been candid with One. What the fuck?
“I haven’t. I’m not ready, Thayer. I’m scared.
I have a lot to lose. I don’t know what that’ll do to us.
I don’t want to think about it. I know I need to tell him, and I will.
I pray it’s not too late or too much when I do.
” Lea’s eyes never leave the ocean as it rages toward us, pounding the shoreline.
“I hope Hardy’s told me everything, Lea, but I have a terrible feeling he hasn’t. Even so, I know I’ll always love him, no matter what happens.” She leans her head over on my shoulder. We sit for another hour, watching the water crash in on itself, resembling our twisted souls.
Trudging back to reality, Lea walks me to my truck, hugging me tightly before I leave. Sending up a silent prayer, I ask that she and One work through the problem they’re having. I love them both and want them to be happy.
As for myself and Hardy, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him.
Giving him children that look like him and think like me.
The thought makes me laugh out loud. I’m optimistic he’d agree.
He thinks I’m so much more intelligent than him.
I might be book smart, but Hardy’s street smart.
There’s no learning that in a classroom or textbook.
Street smarts are earned only one way, by fucking trial and error.
Stopping by the grocery store, I pick up chicken breast and heavy cream. I’m planning to make chicken Alfredo tonight. I didn’t think to ask if Hardy likes it. Although, it seems as though he’ll eat anything. I need to get back over to Lea’s and have her teach me to make her gravy and biscuits.
Lulu greets me at the door, happy someone is home.
She’s a gorgeous dog, pure breed Collie.
Sweetest-natured animal I’ve ever been around.
Come to think of it, she’s the only dog I’ve ever been around.
Following me to the kitchen, I fix her food and water, to which I get kisses for my food-making abilities.
We talk as I wash my hands and begin our dinner.
Lulu lays just out of the kitchen watching me.
A noise from the patio startles us, and Lulu jumps into action.
She races for the patio door, growling her dislike of whatever is on the other side.
Taking her by the collar, I try to pull her away from the door, but she won’t budge.
It’s then I notice her hackles raised, raising every hair on my body.
My phone’s in the kitchen. Hardy’s still not home, and I’m optimistic Lulu wouldn’t be this pissed about him being late.
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. The incredible sound of my phone’s text messages frightens me at first. Dashing to it, I snatch it up, speed texting Hardy to hurry home.
Hardy: Hey, babe. Almost there. Need anything?
Me: YOU. Lulu’s going off. Noise on the patio. We’re nervous.
Hardy: OMW.
Rounding my kitchen door, I hear screeching tires out front. No doubt, it’s Hardy.