Chapter 4
Sierra had rehearsed this conversation maybe thirty times. Maybe more. Didn’t matter now. Sitting across from Thalia at Bean Thalia’s were vivid as sapphires, but Sierra’s were gentler, like twilight. Same jawline, same chin.
“I get why you’d say that. I mean, there was Josh in high school, and this was my first date with a girl.”
Thalia just waited, which was so Thalia.
Sierra kept going, trying to find words that would help her sister understand. “I’ve never been big on labels. I just connect with people. That’s always been my thing.”
“So, you’re bisexual?”
Sierra met her eyes. “More like pansexual, I guess if I had to put a label on it. I fall for who someone is, not what they are.”
Thalia reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Her grip was warm and sure. “I want you happy. That’s literally all I care about. Whoever actually sees you, that’s who matters. Mom and Dad will figure it out. They love you. Once you tell them, they’ll come around.”
“You really think so?”
Thalia paused, and Sierra caught the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.
“Okay, so Dad’s going to need some time.
You know how he gets with anything that doesn’t fit his neat little boxes.
And Mom...” Thalia sighed. “Mom’s going to want to research it to death and probably ask a million awkward questions. ”
Sierra’s chest tightened. “That’s what I’m afraid of. They’re not exactly... progressive. Remember when our cousin, Jake, brought his boyfriend to Christmas two years ago? The way they kept calling him Jake’s ‘friend’ all night?”
“That was different. Jake sprung it on them without warning.” Thalia squeezed her hand.
“But yes, they’re old school. Traditional.
They still think happiness looks like a white dress and grandkids.
But Sierra, they also drove hours to every single one of your art shows.
They love you more than their comfort zone.
It might not be immediate, but they’ll come around. They have to. Did you tell Tobias?”
Sierra smiled for the first time since sitting down. “Tobias probably knew before I did. He’s just too nice to say anything.”
“Emotionally mature little shit. So unfair.” Thalia let out a sigh.
“Right? Honestly rude.”
Sierra sipped her latte, finally letting the sweetness and warmth do their thing. The coffee shop buzzed around them, all cinnamon smells and coffee machine hisses, and something tight in her chest loosened.
“I’m glad you told me.” Thalia stirred her tea in slow circles. “After this week of thesis chapters nobody will read and grading essays, talking about something real feels like I can finally breathe.”
Sierra grinned. “Grad school living up to all your dreams?”
“Oh yeah. I’ve been surviving on coffee and pure spite for so long, I’m pretty sure that’s what’s in my veins now.”
They both cracked up. They’d both been missing this.
The laughter faded, and Sierra’s smile softened into something more serious. She picked at the cardboard sleeve on her cup. “So... about that date.”
“The date wasn’t life-changing or anything.
No instant love connection. She was nice, but it made me realize how much I’ve been hiding behind work lately.
” Sierra glanced at her sketchbook, all those half-finished faces.
“But there’s something else. There’s this girl I saw in the park earlier this week.
I photographed her with these sparrows, and I can’t stop thinking about her. ”
Thalia’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, so there’s Monica from the date AND mystery park girl?”
“Monica was sweet, but when I was with her, I kept thinking about the other one. The one I don’t even know.” Sierra ran her finger around the rim of her mug. “I’ve been taking pictures of everything except what actually matters, and then I saw her and everything just... clicked.”
Sierra set down her mug, something vulnerable crossing her face.
“The light was hitting her just right, and she was laughing, and Thalia, I couldn’t stop taking pictures.
She was feeding these sparrows, and they were flying all around her like she belonged to them, and for a second it felt like I was watching something magical happen. ”
“Did you talk to her?”
“No.” Sierra’s laugh came out hollow. “By the time I worked up the courage to walk over, she was gone. Just vanished, like she’d never been there at all.”
Thalia leaned forward, studying her sister’s face. “So mystery park girl is why you finally felt ready to figure yourself out?”
“Maybe? I don’t know.” Sierra traced invisible patterns on the tabletop.
“It was just this moment where everything clicked into place. Like I finally understood what I’d been missing all this time.
” She paused, looking almost embarrassed.
“I even went back to the park looking for her. Multiple times. Like some kind of creep.”
“You’re not a creep. You’re someone who felt something real.”
“She’s probably long gone. I’ll never see her again.” Sierra shook her head, but her eyes were bright with the memory. “But that feeling? That instant recognition, that pull? That’s what I want to find with someone.”
Thalia’s smile was knowing and gentle. “You will. And who knows? Maybe the universe has a sense of humor about these things.”
They sat there for a minute longer, not talking, just being sisters in the comfortable way they’d perfected over the years.
The afternoon light shifted golden through the windows, and Sierra thought about dark hair catching sun, about finally saying the truth out loud, about how terrifying and necessary both things were.
“You know what’s wild?” Sierra said quietly. “I spent so long trying to figure out who I was supposed to be that I forgot to just... be. And then I saw her for like two minutes, and suddenly I understood.”
Thalia reached over and squeezed her hand one more time. “Then I’d say the universe is telling you something. Maybe mystery girl was exactly who you needed to see to finally see yourself.”
“Maybe.” Sierra’s smile felt lighter than it had in months. “Or maybe I’m just losing it over a stranger with good lighting and excellent bird-feeding technique.”
“Could be both.”
They both laughed, and for the first time since this whole confusing, scary, beautiful thing started, Sierra felt like she might actually be okay. More than okay. She felt like herself.