Chapter 28
Sierra kept walking back and forth in the hallway, her feet making weird squeaky sounds on the tile. Thalia’s enchiladas smelled amazing, but Sierra’s stomach was doing backflips.
Thalia hung out nearby, not hovering but close enough if Sierra needed backup. “You can do this. It’s not like you’re asking for anything crazy. You’re just telling them who you are.”
Sierra steadied herself and walked into the dining room before she chickened out.
Her parents were already eating, talking to Tobias about something boring and work-related. Dad spotted her first, mid-bite. “There she is. Come eat before it gets cold.”
Sierra sat down in her usual spot, hands clamped together under the table so no one would see them shaking. Mom passed her the enchiladas with the same smile she’d had since Sierra was five.
“You okay, honey? You look kind of freaked out.”
“I am freaked out.” Sierra’s voice came out way quieter than she meant it to.
Thalia caught her eye and nodded, like, go for it.
Sierra took another deep breath. “I need to tell you guys something. Something I should’ve said forever ago.”
Everyone stopped eating. Mom’s hand just hung there, reaching for the salad. Dad put his fork down.
“I’m pansexual.”
Dead silence. As in one could hear the clock ticking in the kitchen silent.
Then Tobias just shrugged and kept eating.
“Of course you are. I mean, I distinctly remember you having posters of both Jensen Ackles and Emma Watson up in your room during middle school. Wasn’t exactly hard to connect the dots.
I thought you were bi, but pan is like.. . bi with an even bigger heart, right?”
Her mom let out a slow, careful breath, clearly trying to process everything. Dad looked like someone had just told him aliens were real. “Pansexual? What in God’s name does that even mean? Is this some new internet thing?”
Sierra’s neck got all hot, but she pushed through it. “It means gender doesn’t matter to me. I can fall for people. If there’s a connection, if we understand each other, that’s what counts. Not their body parts.”
Dad leaned way back, shaking his head. “But you’ve always been such a normal girl. You dated Josh in high school. What happened to wanting a traditional family? Marriage? Kids?”
Mom’s voice was strained. “Sweetheart, I just... in my day, people were either one thing or the other. This is all so confusing. What will people think? What do we tell the neighbors?”
Thalia straightened up, getting that look she used to get when kids picked on Sierra in middle school. “Mom, Dad, she didn’t catch this like a cold. It’s not something that happens to you. And who cares what the neighbors think?”
Sierra put her hand out on the table, palm up. Her mom stared at it for a long moment before slowly, carefully taking it.
“I didn’t always have the right words for it, but meeting Lauren helped me finally understand myself better. I’ve always known I was different somehow. But now I understand why, and I’m done hiding who I am.”
Mom squeezed her hand, but her face was tight with worry. Dad kept staring at his enchiladas like they might provide answers.
Mom suddenly looked between Sierra and Thalia with growing alarm. “Wait... who’s Lauren?”
Sierra paused for like half a second, then her face just broke into this huge smile even though everyone was still being weird about everything.
“Lauren is really important to me. They’re amazing and hilarious, and they actually get me, you know?
We met a few months ago and got really close.
They helped me feel brave enough to tell you this, but it’s not like they turned me pansexual or anything.
I just stopped pretending around them. Around everyone. ”
Her dad’s face went red. “They? You mean... like multiple people? Sierra, what kind of situation have you gotten yourself into?”
Sierra shook her head, her voice staying calm but getting firmer. “No, Dad. Lauren prefers they and them as pronouns.”
Dad threw his napkin down. “Oh, for crying out loud! Now there are special pronouns? I can’t keep track of all this modern nonsense.”
Mom was clearly struggling, wringing her hands.
She kept opening her mouth as if she were going to say something, then closing it and opening it again.
Finally, she got it out. “I’m sorry, Sierra.
I just don’t understand any of this. We raised you in the church.
We taught you right from wrong. This feels like.
.. like you’re throwing your whole future away. ”
“Mom—”
“What about grandchildren? A proper wedding? I had such dreams for you, sweetheart.”
Sierra felt tears threatening. “I know, Mom. I’m not expecting you to understand everything all at once. What I’m asking for is that you try. Lauren isn’t a phase or rebellious statement. They’re someone who makes me incredibly happy.”
Her dad finally looked up at her, and his eyes were harder than she’d ever seen them. “I’m not mad, Sierra. But I am disappointed. This world is cruel enough without you making it harder on yourself. You’ve always wanted a family someday, kids. Normal kids need a mother and a father.”
“I still want all of those things, and they’re all still possible. Just maybe not exactly the way you always pictured it in your head.”
Mom’s voice cracked. “But what will the pastor say? What will your aunt Margaret think? We can’t just pretend this is normal.”
Thalia jumped in, her voice warm but fierce. “She’s still exactly the same Sierra. Still your daughter. Still the same big-hearted, brilliant woman who makes everyone around her better by existing. The only thing that’s changed is that she’s being honest with you.”
Mom’s eyes got all watery. “I just... I love you, baby. But this scares me. I don’t know how to handle this.”
“I know. But I’m done hiding.”
Dad went quiet for a long moment, just looking at her. When he finally spoke again, his voice was heavy. “I need time to process this. I can’t promise I’ll understand it, and I can’t promise I’ll like it. But... you’re still my daughter.”
Sierra felt her throat get tight. “That’s all I can ask for right now.”
Tobias cleared his throat awkwardly. “So... can we maybe eat before the food gets completely cold? This is still Sierra. She still puts hot sauce on everything and cries at animal videos.”
Mom managed a watery smile. “You do cry at those ridiculous videos.”
Dad picked up his fork again, though his movements were stiff. “We’ll... we’ll figure this out. Somehow.”
They finished dinner in relative quiet, the conversation stilted but not hostile. Sierra’s stomach finally stopped doing backflips, though the tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.
As she was leaving, Dad stopped her at the door. “Sierra. I meant what I said. You’re still my daughter. Always will be. This Lauren person... they better treat you right.”
Sierra hugged him tight. “They do, Dad. They really do.”
It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the acceptance she’d dreamed of. But it was a start.
Her hands were still shaking from the adrenaline of saying the words out loud to her parents. Sierra was about to call Jett on her way home before she decided to just go see him. She needed to see him in person.
After everything they’d talked about, after promising to debrief immediately, a phone call didn’t feel like enough. She needed a hug from someone who understood exactly what she’d just been through.
The drive to Jett’s apartment was a blur of streetlights and nervous energy. She pulled into his complex and hurried up the stairs, her heart still racing from dinner.
As she approached his door, she heard what sounded like... groaning? And a thud against the wall.
Sierra’s blood ran cold. Was Jett hurt? Was someone attacking him?
She pressed her ear to the door and heard more sounds. They were definitely distressed noises, maybe struggling. Without thinking, she reached for the spare key Jett kept hidden under the fake rock by his door (the world’s most obvious hiding spot, which they’d all teased him about).
“Jett?” she called as she unlocked the door. “Are you okay? I heard—”
Sierra froze in the doorway.
Jett was very much not hurt. In fact, he was very much occupied with Ellis against the living room wall, both of them completely naked and very obviously in the middle of something intense and passionate.
“Oh my GOD!” she squeaked, immediately spinning around and covering her eyes. “I’m so sorry! I thought you were hurt. I heard noises and I just—”
“SIERRA!” Jett’s voice was strangled with a mixture of mortification and breathlessness.
“I’m leaving! I’m leaving right now! Pretend this never happened!” Sierra practically ran out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
She sat in her car for a full five minutes, face burning with embarrassment, before her phone rang.
“Before you say anything,” Jett’s wry voice came through the speaker, “Ellis is never going to look me in the eye again.”
“I am SO sorry! I heard what sounded like someone getting hurt, and I panicked. I should have knocked louder or called first or literally anything other than barging in with a spare key.”
“It’s fine. I mean, it’s mortifying, but it’s fine. How did the dinner go? Please tell me it went better than this did.”
“Well, I didn’t accidentally walk in on any family members having sex, so yes.”
“Details. I need details to distract me from my shame.”
“I did it. I did it.” Sierra settled back in her car seat. “I told them everything. About being pansexual, about Lauren, all of it.”
“Wow! How did it go?”
“It was rough. Really rough. They’re struggling with it.
Mom’s worried about what everyone will think — from family, the neighbors, to church.
Dad feels like I’m making my life harder for no reason.
They need time to process, and I can tell they’re disappointed.
” Her voice cracked a little. “But they said they love me, even if they don’t understand.
It’s not the reaction I wanted, but at least they’re still talking to me. How did it go with your mom?”
There was a long pause. “Not great.”
Sierra’s heart sank. “Oh, Jett.”
“She hung up on me.” His voice sounded flat. “I told her about Ellis, how awesome he is, how he treats me. And she goes, ‘You’re being stupid! That white boy’s just messing around with you; he’s gonna break your heart’.”
“God, Jett. That must have been awful.”
“The thing that kills me is I could tell she was scared, you know? It comes from a place of love. She’s just trying to protect me. Under all that anger, she’s just terrified someone’s gonna hurt me. But she wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain that Ellis isn’t that guy.”
Sierra’s eyes started burning. “So what now?”
“I don’t know. Maybe give her space. Keep being happy and hope she comes around. But I’m glad I told her, and I’m really glad you told your parents, too. We did the scary thing.”
“We absolutely did the scary thing, and whatever happens next, we’ve got each other.”
“Damn right we do. Now tell me everything about dinner. Did Thalia have to physically restrain your dad from asking inappropriate questions?”
Despite everything, Sierra laughed. “She basically did! She jumped in when Dad started getting confused about the whole pansexual thing. And then she backed me up when I told them about Lauren. I don’t think I could have done it without her there. Tobias, too.”
“Thalia’s always been your secret weapon.”
“I wish your mom’s reaction was different.” Her voice grew softer. “And I’m sorry again about... walking in on you and Ellis.”
“Remember how I said I can’t imagine wanting anyone else? I still feel that way. Which makes what my mom said hurt even more, because this isn’t just some fling for me.”
“She’ll come around. She has to. Anyone who sees you two together can tell this is real.”
“I hope so. And, Sierra? Even though tonight sucked for me, I’m happy for you. You deserved to have parents who see how amazing you are.”
Sierra could feel tears welling. “I love you, you know that?”
“I love you, too. And hey, next family dinner, you’re bringing Lauren and I’m bringing Ellis. We’ll show them what happy looks like.”
“Deal. But I’m making sure Thalia and Tobias will be there for moral support. Maybe Calliope and Raven, too.”
“Obviously. The Chaos Coven provides backup for all major family events. It’s in our charter. And, Sierra? Next time you think I’m in mortal danger, maybe try calling first?”
“Noted. Though in my defense, you two were being very loud.”
“I’m hanging up now.”
“Tell Ellis I said hi and that I’ll never make eye contact with him again!”
After they hung up, Sierra sat in her car outside Jett’s apartment, drained but oddly peaceful. One scary conversation down, one mortifying walk-in she’d never live down, but still, authenticity for a lifetime lay ahead of her.