7. All a man needs
7
ALL A MAN NEEDS
Netta chewed on her wholesome granola. She preferred jam on toast for breakfast really, her own jam, naturally, but she was trying to support Frank’s new healthy lifestyle. Apparently, oats were very good for you, for all sorts of reasons that she couldn’t remember. Frank was over in his house this morning, presumably eating his own healthy breakfast. It was Thursday. Colin had been here almost a week, most of which he’d spent in bed. She’d hardly seen him and it no longer seemed necessary for Frank to be here all the time. Although she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, Netta was glad of the breather. She’d been a bit tetchy with him on Sunday afternoon and he’d been tiptoeing around her ever since. It was a tad irritating.
Above her head, the sound of Liza venting her anger leaked through the floorboards and into every empty space in the otherwise quiet house. Aside from an occasional low grunt, it appeared to be a one-sided conversation. A door slammed. Probably the one to Will’s bedroom. There was a definite stomp in the footsteps thundering down the stairs and along the hall. Liza stopped at the kitchen table and plonked herself on a chair.
Netta poured a of cup of tea and pushed it over to her. ‘Everything all right?’
‘Not really. He’s just lying up there doing nothing. I don’t know when he last washed. He’s just useless. Totally useless. And he stinks. He seriously needs to take a shower and stop bumming around.’ She threw her arms in the air. ‘I just don’t know what to do with him. I’m terrified of leaving him.’
Netta moved over to sit next to her. ‘I don’t think you have anything to fear. Your dad’s not the sort to do anything silly. He’s more of a brooder. And he wouldn’t want you bunking off on his account. Getting your degree’s important to him. Didn’t you say how happy he was that you were taking art? He regretted not doing it himself. He hated accountancy.’
‘I just, I just…’ Liza’s eyes started to brim.
Guilt pricked at Netta’s conscience. Yes, she’d agreed to let Colin stay here until things were fixed but what else had she done to support her daughter? Nothing. She’d let Liza carry the burden all on her own. ‘Listen, I have to go to work now but I’ll talk to him when I get back. I’m not sure he’ll listen to me but I’ll try.’
‘Would you?’
‘Only if you promise to go to classes today.’
Liza sniffed and nodded. ‘I promise. Thanks, Mum.’
Netta closed the van door. They’d just finished loading it up for the weekly delivery. ‘Can you manage without me for an extra hour? There’s something I need to do after I’ve dropped these off.’
‘Sure,’ said Neil. ‘Nothing to worry about is it?’
‘I’m going to talk to Colin. He’s gone downhill since last week. It’s upsetting Liza, otherwise I’d just leave him to stew.’
‘Do you think he might be depressed?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. It’s a possibility. Then again, he might just be playing us. You can’t tell with Colin.’
‘You know who you should ask? Geraldine. She understands that stuff.’
‘She went to a therapist, Neil. That doesn’t make her a psychiatrist. Anyway, she hates Colin. She’ll probably be glad he’s wallowing in his own filth.’
Neil held out his hands. ‘Just saying. Might be worth asking her advice.’
Netta pulled up outside her house and let herself in. Maud and Betty came down from the landing to greet her, then followed her back up after she’d checked downstairs for signs of Colin.
The bathroom door was closed, and she could hear the shower running. Liza must have got through to him after all. The door to Will’s bedroom was ajar. She stepped in and breathed in the sour air, body odour, stale food, and dog, if she wasn’t mistaken. Given that he’d shut himself in here for the last six days, she’d been expecting the body odour. Even the stale food. Less so the dog smells. She didn’t remember Colin being a fan of dogs. More to the point, she hadn’t realised the dogs were fans of Colin.
She opened the curtains and windows and proceeded to strip the bed. Fresh air was needed, along with clean bed linen. It might not cure Colin of whatever was wrong with him, but it was a start. Next, she bundled up the sheet, quilt cover and pillowcases into her arms, keeping them as far away from her nose as possible. Straight into the washing machine with them, before they contaminated her and the rest of the house. Like some school matron on a dorm cleaning mission, she marched back onto the landing with her arms full and bumped straight into him.
Colin pulled the towel that was wrapped around his lower half a little tighter but Netta was still shocked by his appearance. The last time she’d seen him semi-naked in a towel was when she’d surprised him by wrecking his studio after finding out he’d been shafting her. This recent sight of him confirmed what she’d suspected since seeing him in his baggy nightclothes. He’d lost weight. A lot of it. There was a new scar just below his left collarbone. New to her anyway. Presumably, he still had that tattoo on his back though. London Calling, the Clash album cover. God only knows who he was trying to impress with that.
‘What are you doing?’ he said, interrupting her thoughts.
‘The bed needs changing. You took Liza’s suggestion on board, I see.’
He looked at his feet. He used to do that a lot when he was younger if he was embarrassed. It was something he had in common with Will. Possibly the only thing they had in common. ‘I wasn’t expecting you back yet.’
‘I came back to talk to you. Liza’s worried about you.’
‘She doesn’t need to be.’
‘I told her that, but it seems my reassurance isn’t enough to stop her caring about you. So here I am.’
‘I don’t deserve her.’ He looked at his feet again. She remembered how she used to find the habit quite endearing.
‘No, you don’t.’
He swallowed. She noticed his Adam’s apple moving up and down and again realised how much sharper his jawline had become. Not in the smooth sharpness of youth sort of way. More like someone who’d been on a drastic diet. For the first time, she considered that there might actually be something physically wrong with him.
‘Can I at least get dressed?’
‘Yes please.’ She’d meant it to come out as sarcastically as it did, but she hadn’t been prepared for his reaction. He blinked several times over and she thought for a minute he was going to cry. The frailty of him was shocking and had been so unexpected that she felt a sharp stab of remorse.
He kept his back to the wall and his eyes on the ground as he edged along. The only thing between them was the bundle of dirty bed linen. When he was past her, she took a step towards the stairs, but something made her look at him as he turned to go through the bedroom door. Perhaps it was to check if he still had that tattoo on his back. She didn’t know if that was why she looked but whatever it was, she looked. Yes, it was still there, but it was more difficult to see than before because it was covered in bruises of all shapes, sizes, and colours. Netta gasped.
He spun round. ‘I had a fall. Not here. Last Thursday night. I’ll be down in a minute.’
It was ten minutes before he came down. He looked better. Not just because he was cleaner but because he looked more like the old Colin, fully dressed. No bruises, scars or skinny ribs to feel sorry for. It was easier for her that way.
She handed him a cup of tea and a sandwich. ‘You look like you could do with some food inside you. Let’s go and sit in the lounge.’
‘Could we go in the breakfast room instead? I like it in there.’
‘I thought the sofa would be more comfortable for you. With the bruises. Don’t they hurt?’
‘Not so much now. They were at their worst over the weekend.’
So her mum had been right on Sunday. She’d noticed something was wrong. Frank had too. ‘It must have been quite a fall.’
‘I tripped on the stairs.’
‘Did you go to the hospital?’
‘No need. I was fine.’
He didn’t look fine. He didn’t look fine at all. And how could Arianne have thrown him out after a fall like that? She noticed Maud was leaning against his leg, reminding her of the doggy smell upstairs. ‘Have the dogs been keeping you company while we’ve been out?’
‘If I don’t let them in they won’t stop scratching the door.’ Colin’s hand dropped down to Maud’s side and gave it a pat. Maud looked up at her with a decidedly sorry expression. Even Maud was guilt tripping her now.
‘I couldn’t help noticing you’ve lost weight. Have you seen a doctor about it?’
‘It’s the natural foods diet, nothing to worry about. Or rather it was until I came here. I’m sure I’ll soon put it all back on now that I’m not following Arianne’s strict regime.’
‘So you’ve checked with a doctor then?’
‘Yeah, yeah. All fine.’
It was obvious he was fobbing her off but short of calling him a liar, there wasn’t much she could do about it. ‘Have you given any more thought to what you’re going to do? Will you go to a solicitor?’
‘I don’t know. I’m sorry. I know you want me out of here, but I need more time. I’ll find somewhere else soon. I’m just not ready yet.’
Ready for what, she wondered. ‘Is there anywhere else? Do you have any friends?’
‘Not as such, no.’
‘I’m not asking you to leave just yet.’
‘But when Will comes back from uni.’
She nodded.
‘Have you told him yet?’
‘Not yet.’ She’d been hoping she didn’t have to. When she’d agreed to this, she’d expected it to be over and done with by now and there’d have been no need to say anything to Will. But that was looking increasingly unlikely.
‘Just say when you want me to go and I’ll go.’
‘Okay. In the meantime, we need to get you back on your feet.’
He stroked Maud’s wiry back. ‘If you leave the clean sheets and stuff out, I’ll tidy the room up and make the bed. And I’ll do my best not to worry Liza anymore.’
‘Good. I have to get back to work. You’ll be all right?’
‘Yeah. Please don’t mention the fall to Liza. It was just a silly accident, but it will definitely worry her.’
‘Okay.’ She got up to leave. It didn’t feel like she’d done enough but it was as much as she could do for now.
‘You’ve made a good life for yourself here, Net. I’m glad.’
It stopped her in her tracks for a heartbeat. She hadn’t anticipated a statement like that. Not from him.
Colin had been on Netta’s mind all afternoon. For once, it was nothing to do with something he’d said to upset her. It was him, the sorry state of him, his lack of … everything. And that thing he’d said to her earlier on about being glad she had a good life. It really sounded like he meant it. It just wasn’t Colin. In the end, she’d decided to take Neil’s advice, which was why she was standing on her parents’ doorstep.
Her mum let her in. ‘I suppose it’s that bloody Colin.’
‘You suppose correctly.’
‘Kettle’s on and I’ve just baked a fruit cake. Come in and sit down.’
‘Well, that wasn’t quite what I was expecting,’ said her mum, half an hour, one cup of tea and a slice of cake later. ‘I thought you were going to say he’s been stirring it up again.’
‘I don’t think he’s got it in him, Mum.’
‘You’re not feeling sorry for him, are you?’
‘Of course not, but I can’t just leave him to shuffle about the house like some ghost. For one thing, it’s not fair on Liza and for another, Will’s coming home next week.’
‘He’s still not talking to Colin then?’
Netta shook her head. ‘Apart from the odd awkward moment when they’ve bumped into each other, it’s been about five years.’
‘Well, in that case, we’d better do something. It’s not doing Colin any good skulking around on his own all day. He needs something to take his mind off things. Something positive that will help to sort him out.’
‘Painting might do that, but he’s not doing any. All of his equipment’s locked away in his house. Frank’s offered the use of his studio but he seems to have lost all interest.’
‘Something else then.’ Her mum glanced out the window. ‘Your dad’s here. Let him in will you, love? He’ll have his hands full.’
Netta opened the front door and was nearly knocked over by Minnie, the youngest of Maud’s offspring, excitedly greeting her. Behind Minnie, Netta’s dad was carrying a box full of vegetables from his allotment. ‘Hello, sweetheart. If I’d known you’d be here I’d have brought more veg back. I’ve got more than we can manage at the moment.’
Her mum was already in the kitchen, refilling the kettle. ‘She’s come to talk about Colin, Arthur. He’s gone very downhill.’
Her dad put the veg box on the worktop and started to sort through its contents. ‘He needs to get out of the house. Get the sun on his face. That’ll cheer him up.’
‘Simple and straightforward as ever, my love,’ said her mum.
‘Well sometimes, all a man needs is a spade and a sense of purpose to stop him feeling sorry for himself.’
‘And sometimes it’s a bit more complicated than that. Although, this time you might have a point.’ Her mum gave him a sweet smile. ‘Didn’t you say you and Clyde were about to start on a new project?’
He looked up at her with an onion in one hand, a bunch of carrots in the other, and an uneasy expression on his face. ‘I have a feeling I’m not going to like this.’
She gave him a kiss. ‘Think of it as doing your bit, love. Greater love hath no man and all that. Oh and by the way, Nettie, don’t worry about Will coming back. Worse comes to the worse, Colin can live here.’