36. The nub of it
36
THE NUB OF IT
This morning, Netta had received a message from her dad telling her Colin had left the allotment in a hurry. It was something to do with that woman, Ursula. He’d promised to let her know when or if Colin returned. She hadn’t heard from him since. But she couldn’t think about that now. She had more pressing issues on her mind. She’d just had a message from Kelly who was currently in Australia, asking her if she needed to come home to help with the Colin problem. That could only mean Liza had been pouring her heart out on one of their long chats which, in turn, could only mean Liza was struggling. Netta replied to say there was no need, but she appreciated the offer and made a mental note to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Liza when she got home.
Before that, she had something else to deal with. Frank had phoned an hour ago to ask if they could meet when she finished work. She’d said yes. Not necessarily because she wanted to see him. She wasn’t angry with him anymore, but she was troubled, and she didn’t have any space left in her head for yet more trouble. But whatever was going on with him needed to be sorted before they reached the point of no return.
She pulled into the car park of the pub they’d chosen. It wasn’t one that either of them frequented usually which made it good and neutral. She couldn’t have done this at his usual haunt, the Hope and Anchor.
Frank was in the beer garden. He stood up as she approached the bench. ‘Is here all right for you? We can go inside if you’d rather?’
‘Here’s fine.’ She was thinking it was quieter and more private. Easier to talk, and easier to storm off to her car if the need took her.
‘What’ll you have?’ He was still standing. Actually no, he was hopping, from one foot to the other like a nervous rabbit. Not that she’d ever seen a nervous rabbit doing that particular thing, but that’s what she imagined one would do if it were nervous.
‘I’ll have a spritzer please. Plenty of soda and just a small wine in it. I’m driving.’ And also, she wanted to keep a clear head.
It took him a while to come back. ‘It’s busy in there,’ he explained, even though she hadn’t asked for an explanation.
‘Good job we decided to stay out here then.’
‘I guess so.’
He had flecks of light blue paint on his fingernails. It reminded her of the first time they met when she came to view the house. They’d been splatted with oil paint then. Frank had been kind and courteous. She’d thought him a nice man and quite attractive in a scruffy and ramshackle way. Nothing like the other men in her history as far as looks were concerned. Perhaps that was why she fell for him, although she hadn’t been looking to fall for anyone. Maybe that was the secret to the best love affairs. They sneaked up and took hold of you before you had a chance to back away. With Doogie, a flame burst into life from the first moment she set eyes on him, and it was still burning. She knew that now. With Frank, it was different. More of a gentle, laid-back heat. Like having a radiator humming along in the background but being able to turn it up a notch or two when you wanted it. She wondered if that nice, kind man was gone forever and whether that would spell the end of them.
She pointed to the paint flecks, unable to bring herself to think about it any longer. ‘I like the colour.’
He looked down at his nails. ‘I did scrub up before I came out, honestly. I’m such a scruff.’
She wanted to smile but that would have given the impression that everything was all right, and everything was definitely not all right. ‘You said you wanted to talk.’
‘I wanted to say sorry.’
Well that was a good start. ‘For what?’
‘Let’s start with my stupidity and take it from there.’
She resisted the smile again. Far too early. ‘Go on.’
‘I know I’ve been behaving like a total dickhead.’ His eyes met hers. ‘A jealous dickhead at that. I don’t know what got into me.’
He’d been on the right track up until that last point, but no, she wasn’t buying it at all. ‘No, I’m sorry but that won’t do. I think you know exactly what got into you.’
Frank looked at his fingernails. He’d been busted and it was obvious he knew it. ‘You’re right, I do, but I’m kind of embarrassed to admit it.’
Netta didn’t need to say a word. Her raised eyebrow with an accompanying huff was enough to convey her feelings.
He rubbed the back of his neck. His eyes scanned the beer garden and finally settled on hers. ‘I panicked. I thought I was going to lose you, and I panicked.’ This was uncomfortable for him, she could tell.
‘Is that why you stopped coming over?’
‘I suppose so. I tend to go into ostrich mode when I panic. The old head in the sand thing. I’m trying to face things properly but it’s hard. I’m not great with conflict.’
‘So who did you think you were going to lose me to?’
‘Doogie.’
It went without saying that she knew that already. She just needed to hear him admit it. ‘Did you come up with that idea all by yourself, or has Colin been helping it along?’
‘A bit of both. Colin throws in the odd thing here and there, as you’ve probably guessed, and it doesn’t help having him in the house, but it’s mostly me and my insecurities. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I saw him in Scotland. I was in a bad place, confidence-wise, at the time. I meant to tell you when I came back but I was embarrassed again.’
Poor Frank. Bad behaviour notwithstanding, she could understand how Doogie might threaten a man’s ego, if that ego was teetering on the edge of extinction. ‘How’s your confidence now?’
‘Pretty much non-existent, if I’m honest.’ Still teetering on the edge then.
‘But I don’t understand why. This can’t be all because Doogie’s here.’
‘Doogie the good-looking cool guy who’s living under the same roof as the woman I love you mean?’
‘Doogie, cool? You really don’t know him, do you? The man’s terrified of relationships and he has an allotment in his garden.’
Frank leaned backwards and finally looked like he was beginning to relax. ‘I’ve heard gardening is the new cool.’
‘Not from me you haven’t.’
He took her hand. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been such an idiot.’
Netta gave him the smile she’d been holding back. ‘Yes, but you’re still my idiot.’
‘Am I? Even after acting like a first-class twat?’
‘You’re just about managing to hang on by your paint-flecked fingernails, Mr O’Hare.’
He put her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘God, I love you, Ms Wilde.’
‘I love you too, you first-class twat.’ She felt a weight lifting ever so slightly, one that she hadn’t realised was there until now. There was a long way to go yet but with Frank at her side, there was every chance she could ride through the chaos that inevitably came with Colin and get back to something approaching normality. With Doogie on the other side too, she supposed. But Doogie was never a hundred percent with anyone and anyway, he had his own agenda going on. She hadn’t worked out what it was yet, but she was about to get some help in that regard. Before then though, there was something she needed to clear up with Frank. ‘Do you think I’m weak?’
‘Not at all. Where did that come from?’
‘Something you said on Sunday. You and Doogie both said pretty much the same thing about me not doing enough to stand up to Colin.’
‘That wasn’t what I meant. Jesus Christ, Net, is that what you think I think of you? I would never think that. And for the record, I don’t believe Doogie does either.’
‘How do you know, have you asked him?’
‘No, but we’ve had a little talk.’
‘Oh, a little talk. About me?’
He took a sip on his pint. ‘Get over yourself, Wilde, you’re not the only thing we have in common.’
Netta’s face broke into a grin. ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I just heard you say that. Come on then, what else do you have in common?’
‘Running. We both run.’ He frowned. ‘Scotland. We both love the place. And we both want to get Colin back in his house.’
So now she’d got to the nub of it. Frank and Doogie had joined forces out of necessity, and the primary reason was to get rid of Colin. She’d hoped for a more noble purpose, but she’d take this one. It wasn’t ideal but it could be the start of something good. As long as they didn’t hang Colin out to dry. In spite of their past, Netta couldn’t do that to him. Because it was clear Colin was a man who needed friends and in the absence of any other volunteers in that capacity, she’d stepped forward.