44. There would always be looks
44
THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE LOOKS
Frank had wanted to rush over as soon as he saw Netta return with Liza, but he’d stopped himself. Doogie had everything under control, and he’d only be hanging around like a spare part.
He’d been out looking for Colin that morning when Liza’s message came through that he was back. He’d come straight home, expecting Colin to be there. But of course he wasn’t. Just as he’d been about to panic, Doogie was at the door. He’d left Colin with his stepdad. A doctor, apparently. When Frank heard what had happened, he was shocked. Colin must have been in an awful state. Probably for weeks. You didn’t just explode like that on a whim. At that moment, a small cloud of guilt had deposited itself in Frank’s psyche. He should have seen it coming. He should have been on the alert, but he’d been too busy with his own infantile jealousy. He’d been given one job, to look after Colin, and he’d failed miserably. He was one first class, self-absorbed dickhead.
Doogie’s mum and stepdad had left a while ago and Fred was scratching at the back door. Frank let him out, followed him into the garden, and carried on through to Netta’s kitchen. She was in there on her own.
‘How is he?’ he said.
‘Sparked out. Clive gave him something to help him sleep.’
‘I wanted to come over earlier, but I thought you’d a houseful already. I didn’t want to get in the way.’
She took his hand. ‘You’ll never be in the way. Don’t ever think you’ll be in the way.’
He was about to kiss her, but Liza was suddenly in the doorway, her face full of angst. She threw herself on him. He let go of Netta’s hand and put his arms around her. ‘It’s all right, darling girl. Everything’s going to be all right.’
‘I don’t know how it can be,’ she sobbed.
Doogie was next to come in. He stood behind Liza completing the circle around her.
‘We’re going to make it be,’ said Frank. ‘We’re going to put him back together. All of us.’
Doogie nodded. ‘We have to help him get back into his house, but he’s not strong enough for that yet. He needs building up. He needs to get his head straight.’
‘You’re both right,’ said Netta. ‘But we can’t do this on our own. We’ll have to call in the big guns.’
Geraldine and Arthur were round within the hour. Geraldine had even bought a lemon drizzle cake for them to discuss tactics over. ‘Just a small slice for you, Frank. I don’t want you going off the rails, health-wise.’ You could always rely on Geraldine to keep you grounded.
Arthur leaned forward on the table and slid his fingers together so that it looked like he was praying. ‘We’ll help out in whatever way we can. Although Gee’s the one with the experience when it comes to mental health.’
‘Well, I went through the mill and came out again with the help of therapy. It’s experience of a sort, I suppose,’ said Geraldine.
‘It’s the best we’ve got at the moment, Mum,’ said Netta. ‘Also, he needs building up. Clive says he’s underweight, and you are by far the best cook in the family. No offence to anyone else here.’
‘None taken,’ said Frank.
‘We need to get him checked over by a doctor, to make sure there isn’t another reason,’ said Doogie. ‘He’s probably just not been eating but Clive said it was best to check.’
‘Very sensible. That will stop us all worrying.’ Arthur’s eyes fell on Liza. God love him, he was trying to put her mind at rest.
‘And when he’s strong enough, what do we do then? He can’t stay here in limbo forever. It’s just not good for him. Besides, Arianne has stolen his house,’ said Netta.
Frank noticed Liza and Doogie exchanging looks. ‘Actually, me and Doogie started working on a plan before all this happened. He’s been watching the house.’ She nodded at Doogie.
‘Yeah. I’ve been checking for any patterns to their movements. The guy she’s living with goes out in the mornings at around half nine and comes back just after one. I don’t know about afternoons. I’m only doing mornings,’ said Doogie.
Smart. Frank wished he’d thought of it. ‘What do you have in mind?’
‘We thought we might be able to work out a way of getting in there when Arianne’s on her own,’ said Liza.
Netta clapped her hands together excitedly. ‘Stage a coup. I like it.’
‘Clever girl,’ said Arthur.
Liza blushed. ‘Thanks, Grandad, but it was mostly Doogie.’
‘Nah, she’s the brains behind it. I’m just the one with the incognito spying experience.’ Doogie’s eyes flittered over to Netta for an instant. There was a coded message there. Frank was sure of it.
‘How exciting,’ said Geraldine. ‘Looks like we’re pooling our experience. And Arthur, I think we’ve found you a job. You can do a spying shift. So can you, Frank. Doogie can teach you the tricks of the trade so that she doesn’t spot you. Will they need to wear dark glasses, Doogie? She might know their faces.’
‘Probably not. They just need to keep a low profile,’ said Doogie.
‘Shame. Arthur looks rather a hunk in dark glasses.’
Doogie smiled and shook his head. He wasn’t used to Geraldine and Arthur’s little flirtations with each other yet. ‘Okay, well I guess if it’s sunny.’
‘Excellent. Let’s work out the shifts for the next week,’ said Arthur. ‘We can start tomorrow.’
Frank, Netta and Doogie were sitting in the garden, sharing a bottle of wine. Liza had gone round to her friend’s to pour her heart out. Colin was still dead to the world, but they were taking it in turns to check on him.
‘It feels like the start of something good tonight,’ said Netta. ‘Not just because we might actually be getting somewhere with Colin. But you two. Look at you. You’re working together. You’re getting on.’
Doogie laughed. ‘Fuck off, you patronising cow.’
She jabbed his arm. ‘Don’t ruin it, nobhead. Oh, by the way, Frank. It seems Betty might be with child. Apparently, Spike’s been getting amorous which was the real reason idiot-features here took him to his mum’s.’
‘Yeah, who knows, Spike and Betty might be able to go where me and Netta failed.’
She raised her eyebrows. ‘Not funny, Doog.’
‘It is a little bit though, isn’t it?’
‘Not even a tiny bit,’ she said, but her mouth was twitching.
She was different with him. Playful. Teasing. Girlish. Frank hadn’t noticed it before, but that was probably because he’d excluded himself from their company up until now. Doogie was a different man too. Softer. Less composed. Less sinister.
Frank noticed how they held each other’s gaze for a heartbeat too long. Long enough for him to feel like he was on the outside of something looking in. Something special that he’d never be a part of. He was reminded of something Colin had said about them: ‘They were in their own orbit. I don’t think it was deliberate. They just didn’t notice anyone else.’ At last he got what Colin had been trying to tell him, and he understood that there would always be moments like these, there would always be looks. And with that fresh insight he also realised that if he wanted Netta in his life, then he had to make room for Doogie too because their feelings for each other weren’t ever going to diminish. Frank just had to decide whether he could accept that. Because if he couldn’t, he would almost certainly lose her.