4. Chapter 4
Chapter four
Tallahassee
When Warlock bellies up to the bar and takes a seat, I can’t help thinking the man is nothing if not persistent.
“You should hurry if you want to catch up to your friends,” I tell him, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave so I don’t do something stupid.
“I stayed to ask you out.” His deep voice drips with sensuality without even trying.
I’m taken aback, but with expert precision, quickly pull myself together.
I rest my forearms on the bar and lean toward him.
He mirrors the action. The move brings his big body closer, until we’re only a few inches apart.
His biceps flex and bulge beneath his black t-shirt, testing the limits of the fabric. But I try to ignore that.
Focus, Tallahassee.
“It’s best if I’m upfront with you.”
“Damn, Tallahassee.” His tone is laced with disappointment.
I rear back. “What? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re going to refuse to go out with me because you’re not attracted to me.”
I nod, relaxing now that I know he understands and isn’t going to push the issue. “That’s correct.” I hesitate before I continue. “Well, not the attraction thing. The not going out with you thing.”
He gives me a cocky grin. “So, you are attracted to me.”
“I didn’t say that.” I hate that I’ve handed him a win with my unintended compliment. I straighten and cross my arms. “And anyway, I don’t think that’s relevant.”
A smirk twists his lips. “Oh, it’s very relevant. We have chemistry. At least I think so.”
“We do.” I shake my head. “I mean, we did.” I let out a frustrated groan. “It doesn’t matter.”
“So what’s the problem? I like you. You like me…”
“What? I don’t like you.”
He raises an unconvinced eyebrow and stares at me with those beautiful hazel eyes.
“I don’t even know you. I mean, I don’t not like you.” I point at him. “Stop confusing me.”
Amusement dances across his face, but to his credit he tries not to show it. “Sweetheart, you don’t need me for that. You’re doing just fine on your own.”
Coming from anyone else, I’d take the comment as an insult. But from him it sounds more like playful teasing. Problem is, I’m no longer accustomed to that sort of behavior, so I can’t be sure.
“You seem nervous, Tallahassee.”
“You…you’re intimidating.”
His body tenses, his expression turning serious. “You’re safe with me. I promise,” he growls out the words, his tone sharp and clipped.
The intensity of his gaze makes me feel like I’m not safe with him. Not emotionally. Like if I’m not vigilant and let down my guard, he’ll steal my heart. That mistake could end in another disaster that ruins the new life I’ve built from the rubble.
I can’t let that happen.
“I’ve heard that one before.” I give him a dismissive hand wave. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I don’t date. Ever.”
He’s not deterred, grinning at me. “Do you eat—ever? I know you drink coffee.”
My eyes swing away but I force them back to him.
“I know this is a cliché, but it’s not you, it’s me.
It’s a life choice. I’m sure it’ll be easy for you to find someone else.
” I gesture around the room. “There are plenty of women here who would give their eye teeth for your attention.” It’s true.
He’s one of those confident, handsome men almost all straight women find attractive.
I try to ignore the unfamiliar ache in my chest when I think about him with another woman.
I shove that feeling down, chastising myself with the reminder that he’s nothing to me, and likewise, I’m nothing to him.
We have no future, and I have no right to have any feelings or opinions about him with other women.
“Trust me, you don’t want me. I’m not worth it,” I confess.
He surges to his feet. The move is so abrupt, it startles me. He leans forward slightly, but he’s so big he stretches across the entire width of the bar without trying.
It takes everything in me to keep my feet planted and not back away.
“I don’t want to hear you put yourself down like that again,” he says, voice low and forceful. “I’m not interested in another woman. And there’s not a doubt in my mind you’re worth waiting for.”
Familiar anger rises to the surface, threatening to explode. I’m annoyed with him for putting me in this position. And pissed at myself for talking to him when I know better.
“You’re worth waiting for.”
I must’ve momentarily lost my mind pretending we’re a normal man and woman chatting with each other. I’m never going to be a ‘normal’ woman who can flirt or have a simple conversation with a man I’m attracted to.
I feel so stupid. For the first time in three long years, I let my guard down. Warlock is able to sound sincere, but he’s just like all the others. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. But the revelation is disappointing, especially coming from this particular man.
I spear him with a glare. “I thought you were different. The stories aren’t true!”
He straightens to his full height, looking confused. “What stories?”
“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you.”
“I’m not playing. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He sounds genuinely baffled. “Care to enlighten me?”
Is he being honest? Or is he nothing but an amazing actor? It’s impossible to tell.
Since my world collapsed, I’ve become an overthinker. But overthinking is an exhausting, murky abyss. Once you dive in, it’s hard to make your way out. I’m so paranoid and distrustful of people now that I dissect every word and facial expression.
I begin shifting from one foot to the other.
Usually, I shut things down long before they get this far.
But something about this man has me sticking around and that terrifies me.
Could he be the one man on the planet who hasn’t heard the stories about me?
I want to believe he’s different. That he really is the man he portrays himself to be.
I don’t know how to tell the good guys from the bad anymore, and experience has taught me not to rely on my own judgment. So now I see everyone as a bad guy. As far as I’m concerned, people are guilty until they’re proven guilty.
Although, I have to admit there’s something about this man that makes me want to trust him. It makes me feel vulnerable, and that’s the most terrifying thing about him.
He’s not giving up, and I’m running out of options. I decide to try a different tactic. It’s risky, but honest. “You don’t want to do this.” I have to clear my throat before I can continue. “I’m…I’m broken. Not worth the trouble. My trust issues run deep. You should walk away from me.”
He snares me in his hazel gaze. It’s as if he’s looking into my soul, and the compassion I see there makes me want to cry.
“Who hurt you, Tallahassee?” he asks in a low guttural growl.
That simple question makes me gasp reflexively. No one has ever asked me that. It isn’t pity I see in his eyes. It’s something else. Something intense, like he really wants to know so he can kick someone’s ass.
Maybe he isn’t pretending.
Idiot. Don’t fall for it. Of course, he’s lying. He’s just a better actor than most.
I do what I’ve learned to do best. I lock myself down and stand staring at him.
He realizes what I’m doing because he releases a heavy sigh. “I’m not giving up on you, Tallahassee.”
With that, he raps his knuckles lightly on the bar a couple of times and walks out, leaving me staring after him.
Is it possible he’s only being kind? Or is he pretending?
Kindness is something foreign to me now. Have I become so suspicious and bitter I’ve forgotten how to recognize it?