Chapter 24
Lindsey
I really do have the best friends on this planet.
The whole galaxy, even. Soft snores come from my left, a knee digs into my right hip, and a human-sized weighted blanket is sprawled over my shins and feet.
I glance in all three directions and take in the women I love like sisters.
Lying on my right side, Devon meets my eyes.
“Good morning.” She grins sleepily and shifts positions, giving my aching hip some relief.
“Morning.”
She lifts her head and slowly shakes it with a soft laugh at Quinn still asleep on my left and Olivia draped across the bottom of the bed where we all fell asleep last night after several bottles of plyka and a lengthy conversation about men and how they like to withhold truths from us.
After all, Horek and Janik had kept things from their heart’s fires at first too.
I admitted to them that “Bannik” had finally shared his secrets with me, and while I was trying to make peace with what he’d revealed, I also couldn’t share the information with anyone else—not even them.
They all accepted that and didn’t try to pry answers out of me, which I knew they wouldn’t.
That’s not the kind of friends they are.
“Did you sleep okay?” Devon asks.
“About as well as I could sharing a bed with three women and having a minor relationship crisis at the same time.”
She snorts quietly. “You could have kicked us out anytime.”
I side-eye her.
“Okay, maybe not once Olivia had it in her head we were going to have a sleepover.”
Honestly, I’m grateful they stayed. “I needed this. The three of you.”
“We’ll always be here when you need us,” Olivia says mid-yawn, so she’s almost indecipherable.
She sits up, and blood flows in my legs again. On my left, Quinn stirs as well until she finally blinks her eyes open. She closes them right after that with a groan.
“Why did you all let me drink that much plyka?” She palms her forehead and gently rubs at it.
Olivia bounces off the bed and heads into the other room. The sound of running water comes from the kitchen, and a minute later, she’s back with a glass she hands to Quinn. Our friend chugs it and lets out a satisfied ahh when she’s done.
“You’re the best, thanks,” she tells Liv.
“Now that everyone’s awake, how about we soak up any residual plyka with some of Erik’s food? We all need the fresh air, and it will be good to get Lindsey out of here,” Olivia suggests.
I groan, because why can’t I just stay here and mope? Already knowing who will get their way, I crawl over Devon and grab clothes from the closet. I glance over my shoulder. “If anyone wants to borrow something to wear, feel free.”
Devon climbs off the bed next. “I’ll go change since I’m right next door.”
Quinn raises and lowers one shoulder. “I plan on going home after breakfast anyway to shower, so I’ll put on clean clothes then.”
“Same,” Olivia echoes.
While Devon heads to her own place, I take my clothes into the bathroom to change and brush my hair and teeth.
Once I’m presentable enough, I walk back into the bedroom that’s now empty.
Voices come from the living room, so I go out there.
Quinn and Liv sit on the sofa and glance over their shoulders when I step out.
“Cute top,” Olivia compliments with a grin.
I look down at the green shirt with its sweetheart neck I had one of the clothing vendors in the market specially make because I thought it made my eye color pop. “Thank you.”
Quinn pats the small space of cushion left between her and Olivia. “Come and sit for a second.”
With a small sigh, I cross the room and plop onto the sofa. Quinn takes my hand and pivots toward me. “Did you sleep okay?”
I shrug. “So-so.”
“If it’s any consolation, I think asking for some time apart is a perfectly reasonable request,” she says. “And while I may not know Bannik as well as you, I do know Horek. And if Bannik giving you what you ask for will make you happy, he’ll do it without question.”
The only problem with that is, now, in the light of day, I don’t know if I want him to give me time.
It feels like he doesn’t care enough to fight for me.
Which is completely and utterly unfair and irrational of me.
It’s like poor Carrik can’t win either way.
My brain isn’t so nice some of the time.
Thankfully, the door swings open and Devon walks in.
“Are we ready?” she asks.
“I am.” I jump to my feet and smack my hips.
Quinn and Olivia stand, and I’m already halfway out the door.
We get into the lift and ride it down to the first floor.
The two guards at the entrance open the double doors for us, and a nice breeze hits me.
With it is the scent of fresh flowers. Suddenly, I’m not hungry.
Instead, I just want a little bit of peace and quiet.
There’s only one place I know I’ll find it.
I stop on the sidewalk and turn to my friends. “Do you guys mind if I take a rain check on breakfast? I kind of want to be alone right now.”
“Are you sure?” Devon asks.
I nod. “Positive.”
The three share a glance before Olivia speaks. “Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where we’ll be for the next hour or so.”
“Thank you.” Feeling grateful, I hug them all and wave goodbye before they head off in one direction and I go in another.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the weather on Bohna.
Back on Earth, the sky was always dingy and overcast. Or it was on the bottom tier.
I have no idea if it was the same for the upper tier, but I can say with almost-certainty it wasn’t.
I’d read in one of the books I’d found that the upper tier circulated their polluted air down to us and then filtered it before sending it back through the upper tier.
All the pollutants kept the full brightness of the sun from reaching down to us.
It was just one more way for the rich to keep us from being remotely happy.
How could we be when we were surrounded by ugliness and despair?
God, it’s so fucking depressing to think about the miserable life we all led.
Well, the life some of us led before deciding it wasn’t worth living anymore.
The familiar ache in my chest grows stronger.
It always happens when I think of Ellie, which has been nearly every single day for the last ten years.
The intense pain of losing her has lessened with the passing of time, but the agony of being the one to find her body—given its condition—is as sharp as ever.
It’s a vision that will never leave my head, no matter how long it’s been.
I glance up from the shadow that spills across the sidewalk to find myself at the entrance of the botanical garden. Why am I not surprised? It’s the place that has offered me the most peace since I’ve been on Bohna. Even that first day I saw…Carrik in here, sitting on that bench.
The floral scent envelops me, and the cool air within the boundaries feels good against my skin.
The trees and bushes are still. I’m not sure a single leaf moves.
The only sounds are those of several birds calling to one another and my footsteps as I wind my way along the path.
I’ve memorized most of the placards and the names of each flower they mention.
My data pad has been great for giving me all the lovely details of each one—like what time of year they bloom, if they’re indigenous to Bohna or have been transplanted from elsewhere, all the colors they come in, and any special uses they have.
After the day in Erik’s when we talked about what hobby or job we might want, I sat down and really thought about it.
It didn’t take me long to figure out I’d like to work with flowers and plants in some way.
Maybe go to the university and get a degree in horticulture or work at a greenhouse in some capacity.
I’m aware of at least two in the city. Hell, maybe the botanical garden needs some help.
I’ve been nervous and kind of scared to look further into it, but the idea won’t leave my head.
I take my time walking along each path, pausing at various flowers and breathing in their fragrance.
A sensation washes over me, and I come to an abrupt halt to glance around.
I freeze at the sight of the lone Bohnari sitting on a familiar bench.
Just like the first time I spotted him here not so many days ago, his head is tilted back and he stares up at the sky, seemingly unaware of my presence.
Of their own volition, my feet move, and I’m headed in Carrik’s direction. I’ve only taken a single step when his head snaps upright, and our eyes meet. Flames burst in the dark depths of his. He sits—frozen—even as the distance between us shrinks until I’m standing directly in front of him.
We continue staring at each other as he slowly widens the space between his thighs.
I take a solitary step into the V he created, and Carrik leans forward to rest his cheek on my chest. His arms go around my waist, while I spear my fingers through his hair to hold him against me.
I lay the side of my face on the top of his head, careful of his shortened horns.
He has a fresh, clean scent like he recently showered, but there’s still a hint of Carrik there too.
“I am sorry for the hurt I caused you,” he tells me, gripping me a bit tighter but not enough to be painful.
“I know.” Devon told me to trust my gut, and yeah, maybe I’m listening to another part of me that could get broken into a thousand pieces, but I’m tired of fighting it.
Carrik finally releases me, but it’s a slow drag away and done with obvious reluctance. I smooth the hair back off his forehead, and my fingers brush against the blunt edge of his shorn horn. He groans and shudders.
“Did I hurt you?”
He shakes his head. “Not in the way you think.”
My cheeks heat, and I can’t help but glance down. Oh. I clear my throat. “Sorry.”
Carrik grins. “I am not. I’m not ashamed for people to know how much I desire my heart’s fire.”
“Oh my god.” A bubble of laughter spills out.
Our amusement slowly fades, though.
“I did not know you would be here,” he says. “Running into you was not planned, I swear.”
“No, I know it wasn’t. I’m actually supposed to be at breakfast with the girls, but a feeling inside me nudged me to come here.” Maybe a higher power had some hand in this.
“That same feeling brought me here as well,” Carrik says. “I spoke with my brother, the prince, and the commander this morning. And when I left the palace, I craved the only kind of peace I knew I’d find in this place since being by your side wasn’t an option.”
I stroke his cheek. “You know, it’s funny, but up until now, I don’t think I realized that was the sensation I felt in your presence. With the life I had, I’m not sure I knew what being at peace was. At least, not until this very moment. You quiet the chaos when I’m near you.”
Carrik leans into my touch. “I am glad we are able to provide this to each other. It is what mates are supposed to do.”
Carefully, I lower myself to his lap and lean my head on his shoulder. He cradles one arm behind my back, and the other rests over the top of my thighs so he can grip my hip in his hand. “You said you spoke to your brother this morning?”
He blows out a harsh breath. “We were present in the same room more than we actually spoke to each other is more accurate.”
“I’m sorry, Carrik. That has to be hard.”
At least a minute passes, and he still hasn’t said anything. I raise my head to look at him. He wears an indecipherable expression, but heat blazes from his eyes. “Do you have any idea what it does to me to hear my name fall from your lips?”
Considering the hardened length of his cock digging into the back of my thigh, I have a pretty good idea. I shift my weight a little and rub against it. Carrik’s hold on me tightens as his groan vibrates through my body, and the throbbing pulse of my clit starts up.
“You threaten all my control,” he rasps.
I clench down on nothing, the memory of him inside me not so long ago roaring to the front of my mind. “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”
“It is when there is nothing I can do about it.”
Because there’s no way I can resist, I lean in and brush my lips across Carrik’s. “I’m pretty sure we can figure something out.”
I climb off his lap and reach out my hand. He hesitates for only a second before taking it and rising to his feet. I send a quick glance over my shoulder before leading him along the paths through the garden toward the street and then in the direction of the women’s housing facility.