Chapter 28
Lindsey
I jackknife up in my bed with a gasp. My heart pounds, and sweat coats my forehead.
Something’s wrong. I don’t know what I just felt, but it’s bad.
I toss back the blankets and throw my legs over the side of the bed at the same time loud knocking comes from my front door.
Not even bothering to throw on a robe, I rush out to open it.
My stomach drops. I can’t breathe, and I stumble backward. Johnna leaps forward to catch me as black spots dance in my vision.
“He’s alive,” she rushes out. “But he’s hurt. I was supposed to wait longer before I came to get you, but I knew you’d want to be there with him.”
He’s alive. He’s alive. I keep repeating that and barely hear anything else she just said. “What?”
“Carrik’s alive, but Vornak has him in one of the healing pods. It was bad.”
Slowly, what Johnna had said before processes in my brain. “Let me get changed, and I’m coming with you.”
“I’ll wait right here.”
I practically run back to my room and throw on the same clothes I’d been wearing earlier today, along with a pair of sandals.
In less than two minutes, I’m pushing past Johnna and heading out the door.
She keeps pace with me as we ride the lift down to the main floor and out the front door.
Streetlights shine on every corner, guiding the way.
I don’t know what time it is, but it’s late. Like, middle-of-the-night late.
“What happened?”
“I don’t really know the details other than Bannik and Horek brought Carrik to the healing center with a catastrophic blaster wound,” Johnna explains.
“Vornak hurriedly got him into one of the healing pods, but he wasn’t sure how much damage had been done.
I woke up when they dragged my mate out of bed, so I was there to help.
They wanted me to wait until Carrik had been in the pod longer and healed more before you were told, because they knew you’d want to see him. ”
“Why didn’t you listen to them?” I will be forever grateful she didn’t.
Johnna glances at me. “Because if it had been Vornak who’d been injured as badly as Carrik appeared to have been and someone didn’t come get me immediately, I would have never forgiven them. It wouldn’t matter that he’d lived. Sometimes I think these males forget how strong we are.”
“They’re really fucking lucky that you’re also smarter than them, because I would have gone scorched earth if you’d waited to come get me.” My panic is still simmering beneath the surface, but my rage is front and center at the moment.
“I’d have expected nothing less.” Johnna chuckles, but then her laughter dies. “His injury was grave, and I know we got him into the healing pod in time and it was working before I left, but I don’t know what condition he’ll still be in when we get to the healing center.”
“As long as Carrik’s alive and stays that way, then I’ll try to be patient. When we helped in the infirmary after the first attack on Preska, I saw Bohnari I was certain were going to die healed by the pods. I know how long it took most of them. I won’t give up on him.”
Johnna reaches over and squeezes my arm. “I know you won’t.”
It feels like it takes forever, but we finally reach the healing center. She scans her access card and opens the door.
“Follow me,” she says. “I’ll take you to him.”
We walk down tiled hallways that echo with the sound of our footsteps.
The ambient lighting is just bright enough to illuminate the space, so we’re able to see where we’re going.
It reminds me of the Bohnari spaceship we traveled on to get here and what the passageways looked like on nights when I couldn’t sleep and would wander.
Low voices come from up ahead, where it’s much brighter.
Johnna stops in front of a slightly ajar door with a large window beside it.
She pushes it open and enters. I’m right behind her, scanning the room.
My gaze comes to a stop at the large, egg-shaped healing pod.
I can’t see inside it from where I stand, but it doesn’t matter because I know Carrik’s in there.
The second thing I lay eyes on is a Bohnari sitting half slumped in a chair.
Off to the side, two Bohnari stand against the wall speaking to each other, but they turn their heads my direction.
One is Johnna’s mate and the other is Horek.
Vornak sighs and breaks away to walk toward his heart’s fire. The commander makes his way to me.
“I told Vornak his mate wasn’t going to listen,” he says tiredly.
“Would Quinn have listened either?” I widen my eyes expectantly, waiting for an answer I already know.
“No.”
“Exactly.” I stride past him and only stop when I’m beside the healing pod and can look down into the small rectangular window at the male who lies within.
Carrik’s coloring is pale as a teal beam of light runs over him from head to toe.
Various displays beep and data runs across them faster than I’m able to read.
“What exactly happened? Where’s Ryvik?”
“Dead.” This comes from the Bohnari straightening in the chair. “I killed him.”
Bannik rises and comes to stand next to me, his eyes also on his brother. He doesn’t say anything else. He just watches Carrik. Finally, it’s Horek who speaks.
“Ryvik confronted Carrik about his belief that it was Carrik’s father who attacked and assaulted Mohneek, not King Danik,” he explains.
“Carrik denied it, but Ryvik was adamant it was the truth. He blamed him for Mohneek’s madness, and since his father is dead and can’t pay for what he did, Carrik would take his place. ”
I glance between Horek and Bannik. “I thought Ryvik was under the assumption that my Carrik was Bannik? If that’s the case, why is my mate the one in that healing pod?”
“The fault is mine,” Bannik says. “I was the one who exposed our true identities.”
“What?” I snap at him, rage surging in me like a wildfire. Never in my life have I wanted to hurt someone as badly as I want to hurt Bannik. “Did you hate your brother that much that you wanted him dead?”
He whips his head my way. “No! I didn’t mean for it to come out. My anger got the best of me, and I spoke without thinking.”
“Carrik could have died, and you would have been solely to blame. His whole life has been about protecting you, and the one time he asks you for help, he’s almost killed. I will never forgive you for this.” My voice cracks, and tears spill down my cheeks. “Never.”
Bannik’s chin drops to his chest, and he nods shallowly. “I will never forgive myself.”
Unable to look at him any longer, I turn back to my mate and caress the glass separating us, wishing it were Carrik himself I was touching.
I stand there long after everyone returns to their homes and until well after the sun rises.
Behind me, the door opens, but I don’t look at whoever enters.
Not even when I’m surrounded on three sides by warm bodies who all wrap me in their embrace.
Devon, Quinn, and Olivia stand there with me for what could be a few minutes or a few hours until finally Olivia breaks the silence.
“Come sit down and eat, please. You’re not going to be any good to Carrik if you pass out from hunger.” She gently tugs me over to the chair Bannik had occupied when I first got here.
Listlessly, I collapse into it. Devon brushes my hair back off my face, and Quinn squats in front of me with her hands on my knees.
Olivia places a tray of food on my lap and gently wedges the utensil between my fingers.
Somehow I manage a few bites, but I don’t take my eyes off the healing pod.
I’m worried if I do, something bad will happen.
Devon hands me a cup and holds on to both it and me as, together, we bring it to my lips for a drink. I eat a few more bites and drink the rest of the water, but after that, I’m done.
“He almost died.” As though my brain is fully coming to terms with the knowledge, a sob escapes.
Then another straight on its heels until I can’t stop crying.
My three friends hug me tightly and whisper reassuringly while I bawl my eyes out.
I don’t know how long I cry, but I do so until I’m wrung out.
Devon wipes my face, and Olivia gives me a cloth so I can blow my nose.
“God, I’m a mess.” I swipe my eyes with my sleeve.
“You are not a mess,” Quinn says firmly.
“Or at least not any more of a mess than any of us would be in your position,” Olivia adds, earning a glare from Quinn.
“What? It’s true. If it were Horek or Janik lying in there, you or I would be a wreck.
There’s nothing wrong with that. No one is judging Lindsey for being scared or worried.
I’d be fucking terrified and a complete disaster.
Being a mess in this situation is completely valid. ”
The other two begrudgingly agree.
“Thank you guys for being the most amazing friends. I love you all so much.”
“Ah babe, we love you too,” Olivia says.
Suddenly, the machines attached to the healing pod start going off. Beeps and chimes echo in the room. We all jump to our feet.
“What’s happening?” I move to rush over to the pod, but the three of them hold me back.
Seconds later, Vornak comes through the door in no major hurry.
He doesn’t even glance at me before he reaches the healing pod and presses a button on the side.
A pneumatic hissing sound escapes from it, and the lid makes a popping sound before the lock disengages.
Finally, the healer glances over at me with a smile.
My friends release me, and I take slow steps forward.
Vornak carefully raises the lid and moves out of the way so I can slot into the place where he stood. With my breath held, I focus on my mate lying there. His eyelids twitch, and ever so slowly, I’m staring into the black orbs that flash brightly with the flame that ignites in their depths.
“Oh my god.” I cover my mouth with my hand. “Carrik.”
“Lindsey,” he croaks in a rough voice. “My heart’s fire.”
I lay my head on his chest as the tears flow once more. A heavy weight lands on my head, and he begins to stroke my hair in the soothing gesture I love so much.
“You almost died.” It’s all I can say, over and over.
“Shh, my love. I am well, I promise.”
“I almost lost you.”
“But you didn’t. I will never leave you.” Carrik continues to caress me until I’ve once more cried myself out.
Slowly, I straighten and wipe my face. When my mate moves like he’s going to push himself upright, I rush to stop him. “You need to stay there. It’s too soon for you to try and get up.”
“Lindsey, my love, I am fine,” he says patiently and shifts again.
I huff my frustration but place my arm behind him to help.
At least as much as I’m able to, given Carrik outweighs me and is much stronger than I am, even after almost dying.
He sits on the edge of the healing pod and pulls me in between his legs so we’re face-to-face.
He drags his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away the wetness that clings to my lashes still.
I’m well aware of what I look like when I’ve been crying, but the way Carrik stares at me makes me feel as though I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.
“I thought I’d lost you.” My heart aches saying that out loud.
“You will never lose me.”
“You can’t make promises like that.”
“I can and I will.” Carrik says it with so much conviction, I almost have to believe him.
Instead of arguing, I wrap my arms around him and bury my nose in the crook of his neck so I can breathe in his scent and feel the warmth of his flesh. “I love you so much.”
He folds me into his embrace. “I love you too.”
Whatever happens after today, I’m going to make sure Carrik knows how much I love and care for him.
I don’t know what his and Bannik’s relationship will look like and if they’ll ever reconcile.
But no matter if they do or don’t, my mate is going to know that I am his family.
My friends are now his family too. They’ll love Carrik like sisters would love a brother, because that’s what family does.
Neither of us is ever going to be lonely again.
A throat clears behind us. Carrik releases me but doesn’t let me go far. Vornak walks farther into the room holding a handheld medical scanner. My friends are gone from the room. I’m guessing they slipped out to give Carrik and me privacy.
“If it’s all right with you, I’d like to take a quick scan to make sure your injuries have fully healed.”
I step to the side but keep my fingers entwined with Carrik’s while the healer does his checkup. He runs the device over my mate, and once it’s beeped, he studies the screen. Vornak raises his head and nods.
“Everything’s clear. I’m sure your heart’s fire would like to take you home so you both can get some rest,” he says.
Yes, I would. I’m exhausted, but I also want to lie next to Carrik so I can reassure myself he’s safe and sound.
“Thank you, Vornak.” My mate carefully stands, making sure he’s steady on his feet.
Once he is, we walk hand in hand out of the healing center and carefully through the city until we reach the women’s housing facility.
We go straight to my apartment, and the minute I let us in, I lead Carrik directly to the bedroom.
Without a word, I undress him and guide him to the bed.
He lies there while I undress myself next.
Naked, I climb in next to him and snuggle in as close as I’m physically able to get. He wraps an arm around me and holds me tightly. My hand goes over his heart, and I lie there feeling it beat beneath my palm.
“Ryvik is dead. Bannik killed him.” I doubt he knows yet.
Carrik sighs. “I wondered what happened after I was shot.”
“That’s all I know other than your brother and Horek rushed you to the healing center. You were in that pod for an entire day.”
“Were you there the whole time?” he asks.
“Nearly all of it. Johnna came and got me in the middle of the night, not long after you were brought in.” I hesitate before confessing.
“Bannik was there. He told me about Ryvik. That he was the one who killed him. You should know that I yelled at him. Swore I’d never forgive him for you almost dying. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.”
“I understand and will never ask you to do anything you do not wish to do.”
“If you want to try to have a relationship with him, I won’t stand in your way. I know how much Bannik means to you.”
“We will speak on it another day,” Carrik says. “All I wish to do right now is hold my heart’s fire and sleep.”
“That sounds like a solid plan.” I raise my head. “I love you.”
He kisses me softly. “I love you as well.”
I lay my cheek on his shoulder once more and close my eyes, knowing that here in Carrik’s arms is right where I belong.