Chapter 47
Wes
The heavy weight of the last two hours is sitting like a lead ball in my stomach. I keep wondering why she didn’t tell me that her mom told her to break up with me. Is it because she’s going to do it? The anticipation and anxiety over if she is is making me spiral a little bit.
I think we’re both hungry after not being able to eat much at dinner, but neither of us wants to break the silence that we’ve been uncomfortably sitting in for the last half an hour. It’s like we’re both waiting for the other to end things and save ourselves the misery of an extended break up.
I clear my throat, “Are you hungry?”
“A little. Do you want me to go grab some burgers or something?” She’s been picking apart a thread that’s frayed on the hotel’s comforter.
“I can go grab some. You want your usual?”
She nods, and I grab the keys. As I’m about to head out the door, she calls my name. I stop and turn around to look at her, and my heart cracks right in two at the tears in her eyes and the dejected look on her face.
“My mom told me I had to break up with you or else I’m no longer part of the family.” She swallows, swiping at the tears on her face.
I brace myself for the impact of her next words.
“I’m going to need some time, and a lot of patience to work through this.”
“I understand. When we get back, I’ll make sure to tell Robin and Savannah that we’re not together anymore, but that you guys still need to be friends. I’ll make sure Jess knows it’s not your fault and-”
“What are you talking about?” She cuts me off.
“Well, we’re breaking up, aren’t we? I don’t want people to blame you, or for you to lose the friends you’ve made since moving to San Marcos.”
“Do you want to break up?”
“Hell no, but I understand that your family is important to you. We just started dating, so I understand you’d want to choose them over me.”
“You think that little of me? That I’d let this end us?” The hurt on her face is breaking my heart even more.
“No, but I-”
“I think you should go get the food now.” Her voice is robotic now. Void of any emotion, and I can’t help but think I totally missed something in this conversation.
With a hesitant nod, I slowly walk out of the hotel room, shaking my head.
I replay the conversation on the drive, trying to follow the maps.
“I’m going to need some time, and a lot of patience to work through this.”
I’m stopped at a red light, still processing the conversation when Robin calls me. She starts talking immediately with a harsh “Did you fix it?”
“What do you mean? What the hell is going on?” I ask.
“Elli just called me and told me she was going to need a girls’ night as soon as we could.
But then she started sobbing and saying if Sav and I didn’t want to hang out with her now that you two were broken up that she understood.
She said you ended things while she was in the middle of trying to work through what happened at family dinner.
Care to tell me your side of the story?”
“Her brother and mom said some shit to and about me while we were there for dinner yesterday. They were saying I’m just a phase for her.
That I can’t provide for her. I’m not good enough.
Her mom said I was a junkie and that Elli would be disowned if she didn’t break up with me.
” I explain, knowing I won’t have to elaborate too much.
“Elli’s mom sounds like a bitch. So does her brother. I’m glad her and Izzy turned out to be decent.”
“Yeah, somehow the bitchiness gene skipped them.” I smile, remembering how Izzy tried to stick up for me. How Elli did stick up for me.
“So why the hell would you want to end things with her, then?”
“Robs, you should have seen the house she grew up in. It was huge! Palatial compared to the shitholes I grew up in. She’s used to having the picture-perfect house, the big family. How am I supposed to give her that? How am I supposed to give her the life she deserves?”
Robin pauses for a second before quietly asking, “What about the life she desires? Elli’s told you before she doesn't want the white picket fence and two point five kids. She just wants to be with you.”
“Her mom also said I would leave her for the next best thing. I don’t ever want Elli to feel insecure about me leaving her. I’d never do that.”
“You’re so dumb sometimes, I swear.” Robin mumbles.
“Elli is choosing you. Elli was trying to tell you she needed time to process the fact that her mother is going to cut her off to be with you. She needs you right now, and you’re being dumb because you’re scared.
Which is understandable, but I swear to god Westley, if you don’t fix this, I will castrate you. ”
“I’ll fix it, I promise.” I am dumb. I should have listened more to Elli. I shouldn’t have let my insecurities get the better of me. What Louise and Spencer said hurt a lot, but I can get past it. Elli’s losing her family for being with me.
The realization sinks in that this amazing, kind, funny, beautiful woman is choosing me over her blood relatives.
I grab the burgers, fries, and the cookie dough shake I know she’ll want and speed back to the hotel on a mission to make it clear to her that I’m an idiot and I’m sorry. That I’m hers and she’s mine.
I just hope she hasn’t given up on me yet.