Chapter Nineteen
Zahra
My heart felt like I’d placed a bag of cement on top of it as I loaded my gun. I knew I’d messed up, with Street and with Elio. I’d broken their trust, crushed it with deceit and lies and actions I would never be able to take back.
Although there were many lies I could tell to salvage it—in fact I had a few lies ready and waiting, with facial expressions practiced to make sure they bought them, and I knew I had a good chance with salvaging it with Street … but Elio?
I’d have to give him a truth he’d believe. I couldn’t tell him about this, but I could tell him about how close he’d been to losing his life tonight, and how I saved him.
It was a long shot, after taking away his free will like that, but it was all I had to fall back on.
This mission, those kids, this area of my life was all I was living for.
Daiyu might not know it but she wasn’t the only one who had gotten out of that organization and decided to dedicate her life to ending them.
She was going about this on a small scale, but I couldn’t do that; not only was it mentally challenging but it was dangerous.
To handle something as big as the organization that made me required specific strategies, ones I’d been laying out for years.
And yes, yes, I’d built strong relationships along the way … with Street and with Elio, but my goal remained the same.
Get in and get out.
Stop these guys before they realize someone out there is trying to stop them.
Nothing was going to change that. Not my connection to Street and not my feelings for Elio.
My stomach sank.
I swallowed, shoving the Glock into the holster on my left side and loading another one.
My chest was burning, drawing together in a tightness that made me feel breathless.
Guilt was such a horrible feeling.
I couldn’t even entertain the thought of shoving the people I cared for aside without feeling like I was making a huge mistake.
How the fuck did I get so compromised? How did I slowly forget the reason I left Sicily? When did I start thinking I could actually have it all?
I should know better. I used to know better.
If today, and all I’d had to do to get them out, had taught me anything, it was the fact that Street and Elio lived very far away from the life I’d been born into.
Too far …
“Hey, we’re good to go.”
I snapped my head up at Daiyu, who was dressed in the same black-on-black gear as me, a gun in her hand. “Oh, okay.”
“Are you good?” she asked, her voice and eyes filling with concern.
I looked away from her, cocking the gun in place as I nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
Her eyes softened. “Zahra, you know there’s still time to—”
I met her gaze. “I’m not backing out.”
She watched me for a moment before nodding. “All right then, did you get your guys out okay?”
I nodded.
“And Marino?”
I flinched, startled.
She shrugged. “I did a little digging after I saw him at Julio’s. Is he the guy you were texting the other time?”
I looked away again, shoving the second gun in the waistband of my pants and grabbing my hair tie from the bed. “Yeah.”
It was quiet as I tied up my hair.
“Does he know?” she suddenly asked.
I let out a sharp breath. “Considering the fact that I just risked my neck by drugging the boss of the Marino fucking empire who also happens to be a guy who—for some odd reason— I really, really like, just to get him off of the ship so we can do this, no, he doesn’t know.”
“Zahra—”
“No, it’s—” My hands left my hair, digging into my eyes instead.
“I was stupid for thinking I could be a Plant and still have a normal life.” I dropped my hands.
“I’m not fucking normal. None of this is…
” I sighed, swallowing the bitterness in my throat.
“What kind of a person drugs the people she considers family just to make sure they never catch wind of the shitty life she once lived?”
Daiyu’s shoulders dropped.
“What kind of person clings to lies like it’s her only lifeline? What kind of person am I, Daiyu? I don’t know anymore—I mean, I can’t be a good person if my first response to literally anything is deceit, and lies, and violence, can I?”
Daiyu sighed, taking a step closer to me.
“Listen, Zahra, I wish I could tell you something different, but I can’t.
I’ve made my peace with the hand I was dealt a long time ago.
I could never have normal friends, or a serious relationship or …
or a family. It’s like you said, we weren’t born to be happy.
No matter how much your people promise to be there for you, it doesn’t change the fact that when they know, it’ll change everything about the way they look at you, and to live like that …
to have the people you love see you the same way you see yourself when you look in the mirror, it’s—”
“Scary,” I finished for her.
“Yeah.” She smiled sadly. “It’s why I avoid connections like that.
It makes my existence easier to deal wi—” She frowned, angling her head a little to the left, her hand lifting to her ear as she said, “Copy.” Her eyes met mine.
“My people located them on board. The chaos from the event you were at hasn’t reached them yet, but it might soon. We need to leave before it does.”
I nodded, our earlier conversation forgotten as I removed the gun from my holster and followed her lead, rushing out of the room. “Do we have rescue on standby?” I asked, my strides just as long as hers.
“Yeah.”
“Any idea the number of attackers we’re looking at?”
She shook her head. “None, but I hope to God we have enough ammo to get out of here alive without needing backup,” she said, and we turned down an empty hallway where a few of her men were already assembling.
Daiyu collected a strap-on communication radio from one of her guys, tossing it to me. “Put that on.”
I caught it, hooking it onto my vest. “Where are we going?”
“Engine room,” she said. “We have the element of surprise so Team A will cover Team B while they go find the level twos and get them out.”
“I’m guessing we’re Team A?” I said.
“You guessed right,” she said with a grin before turning to her people. “Spread out, everyone in position.”
We scattered, some of the guys running down the opposite hallway—after studying the layout of the Celestial, I knew they were going to charge from behind while we attacked from the front, covering them while they got ahold of the kids.
Daiyu, a few others, and I ran down an empty narrow hallway, guns outstretched before us as we took the stairs that led down to the engine room. The air was thick with smells of old oil and sea salt, but my breathing remained calm.
Voices and laughter reached us from inside the engine room, and I watched Daiyu silently signal to the guys with us, and they each spread out to different aisles in the engine room.
The smell of metal, and the sound of pipes clanging and hissing covered the sound of our footsteps, the thrum of the ship causing a trembling that masked any vibration our presence would have revealed if we were on land.
I slipped behind a large compartment, the heat from whatever was inside burning through my clothes as I peeked behind, catching at least eight men standing around with drinks and cigarettes in hand, laughing and talking about God knows what.
There were other voices coming from different areas that told me there were more than eight people here.
My gaze met Daiyu’s at the other side where she was leaning against another metal compartment. She gave me a subtle nod, and I returned it as we both sharply left our hiding spots, and chaos erupted.
The blast and echo of our gunshots had my ears ringing and my heart racing.
We managed to take down four of the guys from that circle before they brought out their weapons, shooting back at us.
Their bullets blasted through steel pipes, white-hot steam bursting out and fogging the air as I quickly rushed to take cover.
Shouts and gunshots filled the space around us.
I was hot, and my heart was pounding. A bullet slammed against the compartment that was my cover, rattling the metal. I moved to fire shots at the guys shooting at me. A sharp grunt told me I’d hit someone. But it was hard to see, everywhere was clouded with steam.
I got at least two other guys before my gun gave a click and I threw it aside, slipping my hand into the small of my back to take out my second gun, now smeared with sweat.
More gunshots filled the air, drawing nearer, and I knew they’d called in their caval—
“Argh!” Daiyu yelled from my side, and I snapped my head to see her crouching over.
No …
Without thinking, I ran toward her, shooting blindly to cover myself as I dropped to my knees, skidding the remaining way over to her, and dragging her body away from the line of fire, behind the compartment she’d used as cover.
“Are you hit?” I asked hurriedly, my voice shaking as she fussed with something behind her.
“Just below my vest.” Her chest heaved. “I’m fine.” Her breathing sounded strained. “Head to Team B. They need help.”
“Like hell I’m gonna lea—”
She pulled out a flash grenade. “I’ve got this, Zahra. Go, I’ll cover you.”
I shook my head. “Daiyu, there’s many—”
“You need to go.” She breathed. “I already knew what I was signing up for.”
My stomach turned. “Daiyu…”
“The kids, they’re the ones that matter now,” she said. “We gotta get them out, Zahra.” Her eyes were bright with a determination that hit me square in the chest.
I swallowed, clenching my jaw hard, looking away.
“Fuck,” I gritted out.
“Listen,” she said, and I met her gaze again. “I was—I was wrong, earlier.”
“What?”
“If you think they can handle it, and you think being honest might give you a chance at a normal life and a better ending than this one promises…” She swallowed, breathing. “Take it. Don’t let it go. You deserve to be happy.”
My chest tightened, eyes stinging.
“We all do,” she said. “Now go! Let’s finish this.”
I hesitated, the grip I had on my gun tightening. “I’ll come back for you.”