Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
QUINN
I’m not okay.
It’s been two days since I marched my happy self into Miles’s house and demanded that he help me set Cherry up with Danny and two days since his hand touched my leg. My thigh. My outer thigh.
Touched.
Grazed.
Skimmed.
It doesn’t matter what word I use, the moment our skin touched, it was like something had happened. An electric current of some kind and it sounds so stupid that I can’t even say it out loud. I feel silly even thinking about it.
One touch isn’t supposed to do this to me. One touch isn’t supposed to cause me to lose my mind. One touch shouldn’t make me question whether I should kiss my fake boyfriend. And one touch sure as hell shouldn’t have me reach into my bedside drawer to relieve the tension that damn thigh graze caused.
We arrived at Grandma Betty’s house about thirty minutes ago, and she’s been talking nonstop since we got here to Miles about her first car.
Natalie and Tobias are sitting on the floor doing tummy time with the twins, and I’m just watching it all, while also letting my mind run wild over what should be nothing.
“So, what do you two have planned for this summer?” Tobias asks as he coos at baby Dixon.
“Please tell us—I need to live vicariously through you for the next couple of months,” Natalie adds.
“Just hanging out,” I say as calmly as I can.
Definitely just hanging out and not anything more.
Even though it’s been a while since a man touched me, and perhaps it wouldn’t be the worst thing.
Then again, we all know how my last fling ended, and I can’t go through that again.
At the same time, Miles refuses to commit to anyone who doesn’t plan to settle down here, so we’d be on the same page, right?
I drop my head back on the chair and sigh. Why am I even thinking about this? It’s not an option.
“Oh, please tell me you’re doing more than just hanging out,” Natalie whines. “This”—she points to the twins—“is what happens when you just ‘hang out’ alone.”
I gasp as if that’s completely absurd. “Oh, that’s not …we?—”
“I beg you not to finish,” Tobias says and gets up. “I’m going into the kitchen to see if Miles needs rescuing from Grandma B.”
He pauses to kiss Natalie’s forehead and then he’s gone.
“Have you two not had sex?” Natalie asks immediately.
“That’s your first question about our relationship?”
She rolls her eyes and smiles. “Look at him, Quinn.”
“Oh, I know what he looks like, Natalie.”
Oh god, do I. With and without a shirt.
“So, he’s the one who wants to wait? ”
“We,” I start to say, but I can’t come up with anything fast enough. “Yes. He wants to take it slow.”
Have you ever known a person who didn’t like you or who only tolerated you? Then you find yourself in a situation where you make it worse, but at the same time, is it really worse if they didn’t like you to begin with. No? Just me?
“That’s kind of sexy,” Natalie whispers.
“Way,” I agree.
“Way what?” Grandma Betty joins us in the living room. I glance behind her, but the guys aren’t with her. “They went to look at Mike’s Harley in the garage.”
“Should he still be driving a Harley?” I ask.
“Yes.” The look my grandmother gives me could kill, and I almost laugh at how quickly she answered me. “Now, what are we talking about?”
“Oh, just how Mike seems to take more risks than Miles,” Natalie says with a laugh.
“Nat,” I scold and then cover my face.
Maybe I could tell these two the truth. They won’t tell anyone, will they? I mean, they are family. Maybe I could even get Tobias on board with this whole thing.
“Well, risk or not, I’m thrilled over this. Does it mean you’ll stay in Lovers longer than just a summer? My grandma heart says, ‘Don't get your hopes up,’ but they are high, my dear.”
Well, so much for telling her the truth.
“I … I’m not sure what it means.”
“Well, haven’t you two talked about it?”
“Of course.” I lean back and cross my arms. “It’s a sensitive subject.”
“I’ll bet it is,” Grandma adds. She picks up Nina and bounces her on her hip toward the kitchen.
Natalie hands me Dixon, then stretches her legs out.
“Whatever you two decide, don't let anyone guilt you into anything, okay? The best things take time. Look at me and your brother.”
“I don’t think it’s going to take Miles and I ten years to figure this out.”
Less than ten weeks together actually, but those are details Natalie doesn’t need to know.
“I’ll bring it by next week. Thank you, Miles,” Mike says as they all file out of the kitchen and into the living room.
“Bring what by?” I ask Miles.
He scratches the back of his neck. “His Harley. The fuel tank is acting up, so I told him I’d look at it.”
“You don’t have time on your schedule for that.”
“I’ll make time.”
“Now, now.” Grandma Betty marches into the room. “Don’t be doing my fiancée any favors if it means taking away time from my granddaughter. I need you to keep her absolutely smitten—that way she never wants to leave Lovers again.”
Miles meets my eyes over the top of the baby Dixon’s head.
I give him a half smile, and he mirrors it.
First his dad and now Grandma Betty. We didn’t take the effect this would have on our loved ones into consideration.
“Is everything all set up for the ceremony?” I ask quickly to change the subject. This specific question sends Grandma into a frenzy where she starts to share all the details. As she talks, my gaze falls to the fireplace, where a wedding photo of Natalie and my brother sits, then it drifts to a shot of the twins propped against it, waiting for the frame my grandmother has yet to purchase for it.
I scan the mantle over her fireplace. There is one of her and Mike, more of Natalie and Tobias, and a couple of my parents. At the end is a picture of me. Alone.
I remember when she took it. It was a good day. We were at one of the many festivals that Lovers has, and I won a gift basket filled with random goodies the town is known for. There were books, baked goods, a gift certificate for the spa at Lovers Lodge, and a few other knickknacks.
I’d bet Tobias I would win it, and I was smiling so big because, as his sister, I still love when I’m right instead of him.
Yet right now, looking at the photo makes me sad.
I take in all the other pictures around the room, and one by one, memories come back to me. Weddings, graduations, birthdays.
It’s like having your life surrounding you.
Will I ever have a room like this?
Maybe my life is ready to go in a different direction.
There is more to life than traveling, I know that, but what does that life look like for me?
“Let’s do this again next week,” Grandma Betty says as Miles and I step out the door. “I loved having a full house, and I need more of it.”
She hugs Miles and then me. “Good night, dear. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” I say as we follow her sidewalk to the street.
“Hudson and Sadie invited us to Hudson’s for a drink. Do you want to go?” Miles asks.
“You’re willingly inviting me to hang out with you?”
He chuckles.
“Well, it’ll be nice to not have to pretend for a bit. Although, to be honest, your family seems just as laid back as mine.”
“If you don’t count the part where they make us feel guilty.”
Miles sighs. “Yeah, I picked up on that, too.”
“Do you think we’re just being … immature about this? I me an, we’re adults, so shouldn’t we just suck it up and break up now so we can deal with the consequences?”
“We both know this was a stupid idea, Quinn, but it’s working. Cherry isn’t showing up at the bar, and that’s worth all this hassle for me.”
I nod. “You definitely have more at stake than I do. I just have my pride on the line.”
“Pride is important.”
“I just … Grandma Betty seemed so hopeful tonight that I feel like a bad person.”
“I get it. My dad seemed relieved that you came into my life. Like I wasn’t happy or something and now that I have you, maybe I could be.”
“Oh, I don’t think he thought you were unhappy.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right, but it still feels that way sometimes.”
We walk most of the way in silence. I’m not sure what he’s thinking, but I gave him an out and he didn’t take it.
Sure, it’s because he wants to keep Cherry away, but he could have changed his mind.
As soon as Miles opens the door to the bar, Hudson bombards us.
“Did you see my text?”
“No.” Miles reaches into his pocket for his phone. He scans his messages quickly. “Fuck.”
“What?” I ask.
“Everyone is here right now.”
“Everyone, as in …”
“As in, it’s time to be the doting girlfriend.”
“Doting girlfriend?” I repeat. “The most we’ve had to do is stand in line shoulder to shoulder at the coffee shop and hang out at our families’ homes. There has been no doting. What does that even look like? ”
“Like you are obsessed with him,” Hudson says in a clear and specific tone. “You’re on.”
“On wha?—”
“Quinn, Miles, this is perfect,” Sully walks up. “We just ordered a round of drinks. We’d love for you to join us.”
Sully nods over his shoulder to where Andy, Danny, and Ashley are sitting. A few of their other friends are with them, but I don't know their names. I only recognize them from photos online. Everyone is grouped up in pairs, except Danny.
Well, this should be fun.
“You know, we would love to,” Miles says and then swings his arm over my shoulders. “But we were really just stopping in to see my brother real fast. We don’t plan to stay.”
“Just one drink. I won’t pressure you for more. We just … Andy would like to get to know you. We haven’t seen Quinn in almost a year.”
“Oh, we?—”
“One drink, that’s it,” Miles cuts me off.
“Great. Go do whatever it is you came here for and meet us at our table.”
Sully jogs off to take a seat by Andy.
“Why did you say yes?” I ask.
“Because I have a hunch they will ask us this same thing anytime they see us out until we say yes. If I say yes now, we can get it over with.”
“I see your point.”
“Let’s get our drinks first.”
Miles grabs my hand, pulls me to the bar, and places our order with Hudson.
“What’s your plan now?” Hudson asks, leaning onto the counter. He’s playing the part that we came to see him about something and he doesn't even know it.
“No clue. Pray for the best, I guess,” Miles says .
“We’ll be fine. It’s the same as any other time, but maybe put your arms around me again, and please make sure I'm not sitting by Danny.”
Miles nods.
“I have an idea,” Hudson says. We turn to him with the eagerness of a toddler who was promised candy for doing the smallest task. “What if you go to the extreme?”
“The extreme. What does that mean?” I ask.
“Be so into each other that it makes them sick. Be so touchy and cringy that they don’t want to hang out with you ever again.”
Miles stands tall with his hands on his hips.
“Maybe I just tell them, ‘Sorry, no can do, because I want to get her home and naked as soon as possible.’ That’s cringy, right?”
I swat his arm.
“You are not saying that.”
“But it’s cringy. It felt cringy as I was saying it.”
Hudson leans in close to Miles’s face.
“What?” He leans back.
“That shit just fell from your mouth sounding a lot like Luca, so I was checking.”
“Fuck off.”
Is this what happens to Miles when he’s nervous?
Ugh. We don’t have time for him to be nervous right now.
“I hate to admit this, but I think Hudson’s idea has merit. Not enough for you to tell them how badly you want to get me naked, but yeah, I think it would work.”
“Just kiss after everything the other one says, and I bet they leave in under five minutes,” Hudson offers.
“No thanks, I will not be kissing her.”
My head jerks back.
“Excuse me. That was a bit rude, and the response was a bit too quick for my liking. ”
“Do you want me to kiss you?”
“No,” I answer quickly, but in the back of my mind, I start to think otherwise.
I glance at his lips.
I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst.
Especially after I spent the better part of the last two days obsessing over how he touched me.
Clearly, that was one-sided. I hate the pit that forms in my stomach at his rejection. I hold my head and laugh it off.
“Let’s go,” I say, letting Miles scramble to follow behind me.
Good. Look like a lovesick puppy following me around. You deserve it after that kiss comment.
“Yay, sit!” Andy gestures to the chair next to her. The chair. Singular.
“There is room here, too,” Danny says, pointing at the open spot next to him.
As my brain processes the polite way to ask Danny to move to the chair so Miles and I can sit on the couch, Miles brushes past me and drops himself into the chair. Then he smacks his thigh.
“Babe, sit.”
Babe.
Sit.
Is he serious right now?
“Oh, I—” I see Danny grinning and scooting over. “I’d love to.”
Miles has the audacity to look shocked at my response, so I cup his face as I sit and whisper into his ear, “Smile.”
“I can’t believe you just did that,” he whispers back.
To the people around us, we probably look like two lovesick kids nuzzling each other’s necks, but that is far from the truth.
“We are supposed to look like we like each other. ”
“No, we are supposed to look like we’re obsessed with each other.”
“Oh, look at you two.” Andy sighs. “I’m just so happy that you found someone.”
I turn to face everyone, letting my back rest against Miles. He adjusts his legs to hold my weight, and his hand moves to my front to steady me. His palm rests flat with his fingers stretched wide over my stomach, causing me to suck in a breath.
His hand is so big that his thumb rests right between my breasts and his pinky is touching the hem of my shorts.
That’s ... a big hand.
On another breath, I glance down and then close my eyes.
Yep, that is a big hand with thick fingers, and why the heck am I thinking about his fingers?
I focus on my breathing as I smile at everyone while they talk about the wedding.
Miles leans forward, his chest fitting flush to my back.
“Doing okay there, Quinny ?” he whispers in my ear.
I nod.
“Are you sure? I can feel you breathing.”
The warmth of his breath skirts over my skin, causing me to break out into goosebumps.
Hell, why am I reacting like this? He’s clearly not interested in me like that.
And why would he be? This is all fake.
It’s fake.
It’s fake.
It’s fake.
“You do realize I have a front row seat to your body right now. The way you breathe, the way you shiver, the way you keep leaning into me when I talk. I think what I said the other night is even more spot-on right now with you in my lap.”
I grab my drink and take a sip .
“So it’s settled. You’re coming,” Andy says.
Beer sprays from my mouth, all over Ashley.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, standing quickly. “I’ll get a towel.”
Miles jerks me back, keeping me in place.
“Hudson is already walking over here with one.”
“Good,” Ashley snaps. “What is wrong with you?”
Andy giggles, and Danny’s watching Miles with annoyance.
Hudson helps wipe down the table after telling Ashley where to find the bathroom. “I think,” Andy says, “Miles was whispering sweet nothings into Quinn’s ear.”
“I was,” he says with confidence. “It’s hard not to when someone this beautiful is sitting on your lap. I mean, if I had it my way, we would be back at home and?—”
“Okay, time to go.” I spring up again, chug the rest of my beer.
“See what I mean.” Miles chuckles but stands with me. “See you all around.”
With that, he places his hand on my lower back and pushes me toward the door.
As soon as we are outside, he pulls his hand away.
“I told you my idea would work. Look how fast we got out of there,” he says and starts to walk faster. It’s annoying. “Now put some pep in your step so that we don’t get pulled into another?—”
“Wait!” Andy calls out. “We wanted to invite you hiking this Thursday. It would be great if you could come with us. Since you know the area.”
Hiking, again?
Miles scratches the back of his neck.
“Hey, Miles,” a high-pitched voice says behind us.
Cherry.
“Oh, hey.” He takes a step closer to me. And because I’m not a dick, even though I’m extra annoyed with him right now, I lace my fingers with his .
Andy waves at Cherry but doesn’t move. She’s waiting for a response, after all.
“Thursday is a busy day for us,” I say. “Maybe a different day.”
“Friday?” Andy suggests.
“Friday for what?” Cherry asks.
Now, normally, I’d be thinking how rude that she just engaged herself in our conversation, but right now I’m not normal Quinn. I’m matchmaker Quinn.
I smile big.
“We are all going hiking—would you want to come with our group?”
Ouch.
Fuck.
Fuck.
My hand.
Why is he squeezing it so hard?
I try to pull away, but Miles just jerks me closer and wraps a hand around my waist. He pulls me close as if he were about to kiss my cheek.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers.
“Trust me,” I say just as quietly.
I resume my smile in Cherry’s direction. “Next Friday works for us if it works for you.”
“Oh, um, I don't know. I don’t know any of you but Miles,” Cherry says quickly.
“I’m Andy.” Andy offers her hand. “I’m getting married at the end of the summer and I used to travel a lot with Quinn. I can share my social media with you, and you can check me out before you decide, but the more the merrier.”
Cherry eyes her cautiously.
“Are you going?” she asks, her question directed at Miles.
He nods. “Yes, Quinn and I will be there. ”
I can hear the pain in his voice, and I smile even bigger.
“Okay, maybe. Yeah, that could be fun.”
“Great!” I say a little too cheerily. “See you on Friday.”
“I’ll text you with the details,” Andy says. “Want to come inside, Cherry, and meet my fiancé and his brother?”
Cherry agrees, but she seems reluctant. As they turn to the bar, she looks over her shoulder one last time, so I pretend I don't notice and kiss Miles’s cheek.
It was a risky move.
I gave him no warning, and yet he didn't pull away.
Weird.
After the comment he made, I thought it would be the opposite.
“Are they gone?” he asks.
“Yep.”
As soon as that one word is out of my mouth, he steps back, making sure not one piece of our bodies are left touching.
“Let’s go home before we make this any worse,” he says.
I follow behind him, because although yes, that was a mess, I can't help but smile.
If this Cherry and Danny plan works, then no more faking and we can go back to normal.
Normal.
My smile falls.
Is that what I want?