14.
TABBY
I heard Luca’s voice and was shocked when I opened my eyes and realized the sun was shining through the window, which meant that it was already afternoon. There was a brief stretch of time, usually between noon and two, when my bedroom got direct sunlight. If it was streaming through the window, it meant that I’d slept the morning away, again leaving Ember to her own devices and letting Simon and now Luca shoulder the load of caring for her.
One more thing for me to add to the guilt pile, right next to the shame I felt about how I’d acted last night after Luca had made us such a wonderful dinner.
Since Ember had chosen to stay at Darlene’s when Luca and I took her a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, I hadn’t gone through my usual nightly routine of washing my makeup off and braiding my hair while she was in the bath. Now, I could feel my eye makeup caked around my eyes, most definitely smeared all to hell after my crying jag. I knew just by the way they felt that my eyes were swollen, and my face probably was too.
I knew that I should get up and shower before I went out to check on my daughter, but I couldn’t force myself to move from the comfortable cocoon of pillows and blankets that surrounded me.
For the first time in months, my back didn’t hurt and neither did my legs. I felt like I was floating on a cloud, my body still limp and useless after the massage Luca had given me last night.
I had never in my life felt so pampered and knew that I could definitely get used to being treated that way, especially when I knew I didn’t deserve it after the fit I’d thrown. Looking back, I could see how irrational I was being, but at the time, I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Just minutes after I came into the bedroom, I had realized that I wasn’t crying because Simon had hurt my feelings, I was crying because I was ashamed of my overreaction and irritated that I couldn’t seem to control myself.
Now, the tears filling my eyes weren’t from guilt or shame, although they probably should be. Instead, they were from absolute happiness.
Last night when Luca came into the bedroom, I was fully prepared to hear him say he wanted out of his proposal. I just knew that after my behavior, he would walk away and leave me to his friend Zach - let him deal with me however he saw fit after the twins were born. There was no way a sane person would willingly deal with the bullshit roller coaster of emotion that came from a hormonal pregnant woman, especially when he hadn’t been part of creating said pregnancy.
But he did.
And he did it in such a way that let me know that if I would just let go and give in, marry the man like he’d asked, I’d be taken care of in all the ways. Marrying Luca wouldn’t just help me stay safe until the twins were born and keep Ember safe from whatever danger was lurking around the edges of our life; it would give her the father that she deserved - a man who paid attention to her, taught her things, made her smile, kept her laughing, and comforted her when she needed it. Marrying Luca Russo would give me something I’d always dreamed about - a secure future with the man of my dreams.
When the door opened just a crack and I saw Ember peeking in with Luca’s face above hers, I smiled at them - all thoughts of my smeared makeup and swollen eyes gone now that they were here in front of me.
I knew my daughter would love me no matter what I looked like or how moody I became, and after last night, I finally realized that as crazy as it might seem, Luca Russo would too.
Just like I loved him.
◆◆◆
I held Luca’s hand as I followed him out of the building, and seconds later, he helped me into the back of a large SUV. The driver was one of the men I recognized from the night we’d gone to the hospital and also from various times he’d come with Luca into the bar and been outside my apartment door.
I realized now that he wasn’t just Luca’s guard, but his friend too. I knew he’d be a big part of my life going forward, so I said, “Hello. You’re Dino, right?”
“I’m Adrian,” the man said with a smile. He nodded toward the man in the passenger seat and said, “That’s Dino.”
“There was a different man driving the other night,” I pointed out as the car pulled away from the curb.
“Yes,” Luca answered. “Emorett usually drives me, but Adrian and Dino are the only ones who know where we’re going right now so . . .”
“Why are they the only ones?”
Luca sighed. “Because I don’t want to test the loyalty of any of the other guys, and I trust Dino and Adrian to back me if there’s a problem.”
“A problem?” I asked, even though I knew the answer. “Because your friends might be angry that you married me since they think I’m a Russian spy or something, right?”
“We were all curious about your relationship with Sokolov and, of course, the Bovinos but I know that’s not a worry now.”
“But your friends won’t see it that way?”
“They will when I talk to them about it.”
“Why don’t you talk to them about it now instead of hiding this from them?”
Luca looked thoughtful for a second before he said, “It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.”
“Is this going to put you in danger, Luca?” Through his reflection in the rearview mirror, I saw Adrian grimace, so I asked, “Is it going to put them in danger?”
“We’re not monsters, Lou.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Their lives won’t be in danger, but they might be . . . misunderstood for a while if things go south.”
“Misunderstood?”
“They’re my best friends, Lou. They’re as important to me as Matteo, but they’re not in the same position as him, so they’re a little more . . . lenient on the subject.”
“Are you going to lose your jobs because of me?” I asked the men up front. “I don’t want that to happen. In this market, finding a new position could be very difficult.”
Adrian sputtered out a laugh before he said, “You have no idea.”
“I tried to find a listing for our jobs on an employment site but came up with zero results,” Dino said in what I thought was a sincere tone, but when I leaned around the seat and saw his face, I realized he was smiling.
“Maybe we should just drive ourselves,” I suggested. “Or we could get an Uber.”
“Luca doesn’t go anywhere without at least one of us,” Dino explained. “Even if we’re not standing right beside him, we’re around somewhere.”
“But you didn’t always come into the bar with him. There were others who came in a few times.”
“One of us was always nearby,” Adrian insisted.
“Always?”
“I’m never alone,” Luca explained. “Luckily, I’m surrounded by men I trust.”
“Will I always have someone with me?” When Luca nodded I said, “That’s cool. I pick Simon.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Lou.”
“Why not?” I asked. “I trust him.”
“He doesn’t have the same . . . uh. . .”
When Luca hesitated, Dino interjected, “Skill set. That’s a thing.” He looked over at Adrian and asked, “Right?” When Adrian just shrugged, Dino turned in his seat and smiled at me. “I’m sure he’d be a great companion, but it would probably be best if one of us stays with you. All the time.”
“Then who will stay with Luca?”
“I’ve got more associates than just Dino and Adrian, Lou. You know that. You’ve met some of them.”
“But if your boss is angry with you, then . . .” I heard Dino snort and Adrian clear his throat, so I glanced over at Luca and asked, “What will happen if the boss is angry with you?”
“Honey,” Luca said before he tilted his head and studied my face for a second. “Who do you think is my boss?”
“The big mafia guy. Right? Is it your friend Zach or one of the other men you mentioned?”
Luca blew out a breath and then shook his head. He ran his hand through his hair in what seemed like frustration before he said, “There are four families, Lou. Russo is one of them. I am a Russo.”
“And you don’t have a boss?”
“No. I have associates. Partners, so to speak. The three other families.”
“But your brother is older, so he’d sort of be your boss, right?”
“I can’t wait to tell Matteo about this conversation,” I heard Dino say through his laughter. “He’s gonna love this.”
“You’re laughing. At me?” Dino stopped laughing and shook his head. “You’re laughing at Luca.”
“No, I was just . . .”
“I said something wrong, and you’re going to tell Luca’s brother so he laughs at him.”
“Well, no, it’s more like . . .”
“I understand.” I leaned back in my seat and looked out the window. Luca reached over and took my hand, the silence in the car almost oppressive now since I had suddenly become quiet. I looked over at him and tried to smile before I said, “I understand, Luca.”
“What do you understand, honey?” Luca asked quietly.
Adrian leaned forward and the stereo suddenly got louder, and I realized he was trying to give Luca and I some privacy. I appreciated it, but I still didn’t trust him. I smiled at Luca and shook my head. “Nothing. I’m just being moody.”
“Cazzate,” Luca muttered.
“That means bullshit, right?”
Luca nodded and said, “Talk to me, Lou.”
“I don’t want to be an embarrassment to you.”
“You could never be . . .”
“I just was! I said something stupid that they’re gonna tell your brother, and he’s gonna laugh at me. If I’m your wife and they’re laughing at me, that means they’re laughing at you. I can’t have that. I’ll be more careful.”
“Lou, no. It’s not like that.”
“I’m learning to navigate a world I’ve only seen on television or read about in novels, Luca. I know you say that you and your associates are nothing like that, but that’s all I know. If this was a television show, you’d get pissed off and cut out their tongue or something for laughing at me, but they’re your friends, and you’re not a monster so . . .” Luca burst out laughing, and when I glanced at the rearview mirror, I realized that Adrian must be able to hear us over the music because he was trying very hard not to smile. In a quieter voice, I said, “I don’t want to be an embarrassment, Luca. I’ll learn to keep my mouth shut so something like that doesn”t happen again.”
Luca hooked his hand around my neck and leaned across the empty seat between us as he pulled me toward him. He touched his forehead to mine and said, “I want you to be yourself, Lou. I didn’t fall for a woman who was careful and quiet. I’m falling in love with a woman who speaks her mind and wants answers to her questions. Don’t stop being that girl.”
“You’re falling in love with me?”
Even though we were so close that I couldn’t see his mouth, I knew he was smiling because his eyes did that crinkly thing that I’d come to love so much. “I’m working on it.”
“So am I,” I whispered before I kissed him.
“I hope so. We’re about to be married. Love might make that easier, don’t you think?”
“I hope so.”
“How much longer do you think it will take?”
“For what?”
“For you to admit that you love me?”
“It might take a while.”
Luca’s eyes crinkled again, and he said, “That’s not what you said last night.”
“I cannot be held accountable for what I said when you were giving me a massage.”
“No. What you said before that.”
“When I was having my meltdown? I can’t be held accountable for that either.”
“Damn.”
“What did I say?”
“You told me you loved me and then you said a whole lot of other things, but I don’t remember them. Just that part.”
“I said that?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“We’re about to be married, Lou, but this isn’t the only wedding we’ll have.”
“Why have another one if we’re already married?”
“So I can show the world that you’re the one for me,” Luca said vaguely.
“What does that mean?”
“I want to give you the world, Lou, and I want to start that by watching you walk up the aisle and then having you stand with me before a priest to say our vows while all of my friends and family are watching.”
“If that’s what you want, then we can . . .”
“We’re not going to wait, sweetheart. We’re going to do this today, but when things calm down, we’re going to do this again for all the right reasons, and when that happens, you’ll be able to tell me how you feel when you’re happy, not just when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad right now.”
“Good.”
“Does this feel like a dream to you, Luca?”
“A little bit. That’s a good thing, right?”
“If it’s a dream, then I don’t want to wake up.”
“I don’t either.”
◆◆◆
LUCA
“Congratulations, Mr. Russo,” the judge said with a tight smile before he nodded at Tabby. “Mrs. Russo.”
“Thank you,” Tabby said shyly before she smiled up at me. “I like that. Mrs. Russo.”
“I’m glad because you’re going to be hearing it a lot from now on.” I looked up at the judge and asked, “You’ll be filing that today, correct?”
“It will be a matter of record before you leave the courthouse,” the judge assured me. “You are legally married.”
“Thank you.” I took Tabby’s hand and turned us to face Dino and Adrian.
Dino was still recording the ceremony, and I smiled toward him before I looked down at Tabby. She smiled back, and I leaned over to give her a quick kiss. When I looked back at Dino, he nodded before he let the camera drop to his side.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but it was legal and immediate, and that was all that mattered. However, I knew that it was important to document it, even though someday we’d make it official with a priest in front of our families, so I had asked Dino to take a video so that we’d have this ceremony on record too.
I walked out of the courtroom holding hands with Tabby, Adrian in front of us and Dino behind us, ready to go back to the apartment and gather up some of their things so I could take Tabby and Ember to my apartment. Then, I would break the news to my brother and then the others before I reunited Tabby with her friend Brett.
As we were walking down the courthouse steps, my phone rang at the same time as Dino’s and Adrian’s. I looked at the screen and saw that it was my brother calling but could tell by the voices of my men who were already talking on their phones that this wasn’t a social call.
“Brother?”
“Thank God you’re okay!” Matteo shouted so loud that it took everything I had not to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Why wouldn’t I be? What’s going on?”
“Zach’s been shot. Jersey’s throat was cut. Geno ambushed them, and he’s got the girl.”
“Coco?”
“No! Tabby’s little girl! Where are you?”
“What the fuck? How did he get Ember? Where is she?”
“Ember?” Tabby screamed as she clutched at my hand.
“Zach talked to her on video. She’s okay, and he knows where she is.”
“She’s okay, Lou,” I said, but I wasn’t sure she could hear me through the panic I could see on her stricken face. “Where is she?”
“219th near Boxwood. Zach said it’s got a covered driveway in the front with an iron fence around it. There’s a yard across the street with AstroTurf that goes all the way up the stairs. She’s in the backyard, or she was during the video. Where are you?”
“Fuck! I’m at the courthouse at least twenty minutes away!”
“The courthouse . . . Shit. I’m ten out. See you there.”
“What’s happening?” Tabby asked in a panic as she tugged at my hand, all but dragging me down the courthouse steps. She stopped and shook her head, and I realized just how pale she had become as she said, “Where is Ember? Take me to her!”
“Lou!” I snapped as I yanked on her hand to get her to stop. “Calm down before you pass out. My brother is on his way and will get there first. I’m going to get her.”
“Let’s go!”
“I can stand here and argue with you about it, or you can let me go get her right now.”
“But . . .”
“What can you do in your condition?” I asked angrily. The tears on her face were breaking my heart, but I knew she’d understand what I meant, considering how hard it had been for her to take the stairs up to the courthouse and how difficult it was for her to lumber down them now. “Nothing but slow me down, Lou.”
I saw the second she realized I was right. Her urge to protect her daughter at all costs was noble, but she knew that she’d be more of a hindrance than a help. Tabby let go of my hand and pushed at my shoulder, nudging me toward the street. “Go!”
I pulled her back to me and laid a hard kiss on her lips before I looked up at Dino and said, “Take her to my place. Send someone to hers to check on . . .”
I didn’t need to give Dino a chance to respond. He understood that I meant he needed to go to Simon’s and check on him since he was the one we’d left Ember with an hour ago. I felt safe knowing Tabby was with him. She might think that they worked for me and that my safety was their number one concern, but the ceremony we had finished less than ten minutes ago assured me that Dino would die to protect her because she was now a Russo too.
Adrian and I took off toward the parking lot and got to our vehicle in record time. As we approached it, I saw him pull the key fob out of his pocket to unlock the doors, and as he ran around the SUV to get into the driver”s side, he yanked open the back door and pulled out a duffle bag. Once we were inside the car, he tossed the heavy bag onto my lap and started the engine.
“Edoardo turned. He was working with Geno. Slit Jersey’s throat, but he’s got his fingers in the hole and is holding his fucking artery together,” Adrian explained.
“And Zach?”
“Said it’s superficial. A graze under his arm. He’ll be fine.”
“Fuck!” I yelled as I sorted through the bag. “I never thought to put a guard on Ember. I was too focused on Tabby.”
“Ember has a . . . had a guard, Luca.”
“Simon’s not . . .”
“Dino left Eric on the door and Aldo downstairs.”
“Fuck.”
“Neither of them are answering,” Adrian said as he laid on the horn to warn the other drivers that he was about to blow through a red light. I flinched as we flew past a car that was inches from hitting the side of our SUV and then focused on the bag in my lap, pulling out the weapons we’d need and assembling them as quickly as I could in the swaying vehicle. When I looked up, I saw that Adrian was getting onto the parkway, so I knew he was on the right track. “That doesn’t mean they crossed you.”
“Maybe not, but at this point, I don’t know who to trust.” I got the guns assembled and loaded and then tossed the bag on the floor, keeping two clips out for each of us along with two guns. “I have to get to her, Adrian. She’s . . . Fuck! I’ve never felt like this before.”
“You love her.”
“Tabby? Yeah, I just haven’t told her yet.”
“No.The girl.”
“What’s not to love? You’ve talked to her.”
“Yeah.”
“She’s my kid now. I should have protected her. I should have . . .”
“How much farther?” Adrian asked as he focused on the road. “We’re at . . . What street was that?”
“Exit now,” I ordered as I saw the sign for Gun Hill Road. Adrian took the exit, and when he should have stopped behind the cars at the red light, he drove up onto the curb and created a lane on the sidewalk. It wasn’t far to the corner, and he burst out into traffic before he drove into the lane of oncoming traffic to pass a few more cars. Within minutes, we were on Boxwood, so I called my brother for a status check. When he picked up, I said, “We’re two minutes away.”
He didn’t say anything, but I heard a loud thump, two gunshots, and then a little girl’s terrified scream. I held my breath until I heard my brother speaking in Italian, comforting Ember who wasn’t screaming anymore. I could hear her crying and knew Matteo had picked her up since her voice was so loud. I appreciated that cry. I even welcomed it because I recognized it. It was a scared cry, not the pained one I had heard when she injured her arm.
Ember was going to be okay.
“I’ve got her, Luca. It’s all clear. Come in the front.”
Adrian double-parked in the street, and I hopped out of the SUV before it was even stopped, sprinting through the door that Paulie, my brother’s lead guard, held open for me.
“They’re in the backyard,” Paulie said as I ran past him. It was a narrow house, and the main hall led straight to the back. I hurried through the kitchen and out the back door to find Matteo sitting on a patio chair with Ember on his lap.
As I skidded to a halt just a few steps away, I heard Ember say, “The bad man hurt Uncle Si and said he’d go find Mommy, but she”s getting married to Luca and doesn’t know where I am.”
My brother’s eyes came up to meet mine, and I watched him blink a few times in shock before he took a deep breath and then let it out slowly.
“Did you get married?” Matteo asked.
Ember’s head snapped around, and she squealed when she saw me. “Luca! Where’s my mommy? The bad man . . .”
I picked Ember up from Matteo’s lap and clutched her to my chest. “Mommy is fine, dolcezza.”
Matteo stood up and frowned at me before he asked again, “Did you get married, Luca?”
I nodded as Ember said, “He told me he was you, but I knew he was lying.”
“How did you know, dolcezza?”
Ember reached up and rubbed her thumb in the space between my eyebrows and said, “He’s mad Luca. You’re happy Luca.”
“Are you?” Matteo asked.
“Yeah,” I said simply. “I love her.”
“I love you, too, Luca.”
I smiled at Ember and said, “That’s Matteo. He’s my brother.”
Ember giggled before she said, “No. He’s gonna be my boyfriend. Mommy and I have the same shoes, and our shirts look alike. Now our boyfriends do too!”
Matteo chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll be your zio, dolcezza.”
“Is that how you say husband in your words, Luca?”
“Italian. Those are my words.”
“Can you take me to my mommy?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” I said as I pulled my phone out. “Let’s call her right now.”
Dino answered the video call and then handed the phone to Tabby. I saw her swiping the tears off her cheeks as she tried to smile, her relief at the knowledge that Ember was okay nearly overwhelming.
“Mama! The bad man took me, but my boyfriend found me, and now we’ve got two Lucas!”
“Are you okay, baby? Is she okay? Is she hurt?”
“She’s fine, Lou. I’ll bring her home to you right now.”
“Hurry, please.”
I looked up at my brother and asked, “Can you take care of whatever is going on here?”
“Nothing else to take care of. We’ve got three men to bring back. They were working with Geno, and I want to get some answers from them.”
“Did anyone hurt you, sweetheart?” I asked Ember.
“The man pulled my arm and . . .” Ember”s eyes filled with tears.
“Which man, dolcezza?”
Ember’s voice was muffled as she pressed her face against my neck, her tears back now that she was remembering her ordeal. “Your friend in the hallway.”
“Eric is one of them,” Matteo said gruffly. I knew that had to hurt because Eric and Matteo had been friends for years. “I’ll take care of him.”
“No. I will. He hurt my daughter.”
Matteo nodded slowly before he ran his hand over the back of Ember’s head. “He hurt my niece. I’ll help you.”
“We have to check on Simon. He was watching Ember when she was taken.”
“I’ve already got two men there,” Matteo said. “He’s alive.”
“Good. I don’t know what Tabby would do if she lost him. He’s like a brother to her.”
“Did that brother know you were getting married?”
I winced before I shrugged. “I know I’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Matteo, but when you get to know Tabby, you’ll understand.”
“If you love her, that’s enough for me.”
“I do.”
“I guess I have a new sister.”
“And me!” Ember said cheerfully.
“E una nuova nipote da viziare,” Matteo said as he grinned at Ember.
“You think you’re gonna spoil your new niece? Can you imagine what Mamma is gonna do with her first grandchild?”
“Take her to her mother, Luca. I’ll take care of this and then come meet your new family.”
“They’re your family too.”
“Yes, they are.”