Chapter 8 #2
He shook his head, frowned, and shrugged. “It was probably just a mix-up. Come on.”
With his hand on my back, and Grace waiting at the door, I had no choice but to smile and follow along, despite my doubts.
Once we were inside, Grace took my jacket and led us into the dining room to meet Felix. He welcomed me just as his wife did—with joy, acceptance, and excitement. Although his greeting was tinged with an exhaustion he couldn’t hide behind his pressed suit and open smile.
Despite their formal home and waitstaff, dinner progressed with casual conversation, easy questions, and stories about Lucian as a child. By the time we finished, all of us with a glass of wine—and a tea for Felix—my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
“Has he shown the scar behind his ear?” Felix asked, his voice strong and out of breath at the same time.
“No, he hasn’t,” I answered, narrowing my eyes at Lucian.
Lucian rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched.
“Since we were like family with his parents, Lucian spent almost as much time at our house as his own. And his favorite thing to do was sliding down the banister,” Grace said with a laugh.
“Your mother always claimed you’d end up getting hurt and that each time you flew to the bottom, you gave her a heart attack,” Felix chimed in.
“He gave all of us a heart attack,” Grace grumbled.
“Not me and his father. We knew he’d survive whatever fall and end up learning from it. He was a strong boy.”
“Mom could be dramatic sometimes,” Lucian explained, laughing softly, staring into the red wine he swirled in his glass.
“Turns out she had a right to be,” Grace declared.
“We were both right,” Felix claimed. “When he was about eight, he was into superheroes and wore a cape—which was an oversized blanket—whenever he could. It ended up being his downfall because when he slid down the banister with it on, it tangled in the balusters and sent him flying off the side.”
“Into the corner of my console table,” Grace finished.
Lucian scoffed. “I was fine.”
Grace glared at him. “You’re lucky you didn’t hit your temple.”
I studied Lucian, trying to picture him as a carefree little boy—or even the young man they’d spent the night painting.
It was hard to imagine, yet not impossible.
Tonight, he smiled more than I’d ever seen him, his face softer, free of the shadows that had earned him the nickname Mr. Dark and Dangerous after our first meeting.
The transformation was mesmerizing—I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I lingered on the fine lines that appeared around his eyes with each smile, memorized the crease in his cheek, the straight perfection of his teeth, the strong slope of his throat when he tipped his head back to laugh.
And the laugh…deep, sharp, a little rusty, and absolutely addicting.
Absolutely arousing.
I made a goal then and there to hear that laugh as much as possible over the next five years.
Don’t forget your other goal, whispered my cynical voice.
Right.
My goal was to keep my company.
But also, to hear that laugh.
I could have both without losing the other.
“I should probably excuse myself,” Felix said, pulling my attention away from ogling Lucian. “Please feel free to stay for a nightcap and chat.”
“I’ll help you upstairs,” Lucian offered, standing.
“No need. We moved my bedroom to the guest suite on the first floor.”
Lucian froze, his brows pulling tight. “Why?”
Felix cleared his throat and studied the table as he slowly stood before meeting Lucian’s gaze. “The stairs are a lot for a man of my age. It’s easier to remain on one level.”
All signs of happiness vanished from Lucian’s face, leaving behind the muscle jumping with every clench of his jaw. “Maybe if you tried any of the treatments, you would be able to enjoy your own room,” he bit out.
“Lucian…” Felix sighed.
“Or maybe you should reconsider treatment to ensure you’re able to attend my wedding that you bargained for.”
“Lucian,” Grace gasped. Her eyes darted with concern between him and me at the mention of the bargain.
We played our roles well. She thought our smiles, seeking each other’s gaze, and soft touches were genuine. She assumed I agreed to marry Lucian without knowing about the bargain he made with his godfather. She assumed we were in love.
So, I smiled, soft and steady, attempting to portray that I understood every facet of the situation—that I understood Lucian’s anger.
And I did. Watching someone you love die brought out the worst in you.
Watching my mother waste away from lupus complications twisted me into sharp edges until I hardly recognized myself.
In that moment, I understood him better than ever before. I understood the fury, the sadness, the fear braided so tight he couldn’t separate one from the other. I understood his motivation for asking me to marry him.
Until now, I’d only focused on myself. Our agreement had always been one-sided in my mind.
I hadn’t cared about his reasons, only my own, and doing whatever it took to achieve them.
But seeing him like this made it all suddenly real, stirring a tangle of emotions I hadn’t expected.
Empathy for his situation. Determination to help him keep his promise to Felix.
Guilt, because his family wasn’t just an abstract obligation anymore—they were real.
I liked them and didn’t want to hurt them if the truth ever came out.
Beneath it all, fear coiled low in my stomach. Because if I liked them this much now, what would happen in five years when I had to walk away?
“I need you there,” Lucian implored Felix.
His soft declaration wrapped around my heart, urging me to comfort him. I slid my hand over his clenched fists, and his shoulders sagged—the fight fading away.
“D-do you have a date set?” Grace asked with a watery voice.
“Umm…” I looked to Lucian with wide eyes.
“Not yet, but soon. We don’t want to wait long.”
My heart tripped, stumbling over the word.
Soon. Soon. Soon, soon, soon.
It started to sound like the theme song for Jaws. Speeding up. Closing in.
How soon was soon?
The question brought with it the realization that Lucian and I needed to have conversations that didn’t just include the kind of sex we planned to have.
“Good. Good,” Felix said with a nod. He inhaled, the breath thin and reedy, and smiled, as if we all hadn’t heard the rattle in the silence. “Aspen, it was wonderful to meet you finally. I hope you’re able to drag our elusive godson to more dinners, and we can get to know each other better.”
I returned his smile. “I would love that.”
Felix pushed his chair back, and Lucian pulled his hand from mine, rushing around the table to his side. “I’ll still help you to bed.”
“Fine, fine,” Felix ceded.
“We’ll be in the sitting room when you’re done,” Grace said.
Once they left, I followed Grace to another beautiful room with high ceilings and thick crown molding that appeared original to the historic home.
“So, do you have ideas for the type of wedding you’d like to have?” Grace asked as we sat.
I smiled despite the question piercing my heart. “Kind of. I used to talk to my mom about it all the time when I was younger.”
“Aww, that sounds amazing.”
“It was.”
“Well, I’m sure you two have it all planned out, but if you need help with anything, I’d love to be a part in any way you’ll allow me.”
The pang expanded, encompassing my whole heart, squeezing until every beat ached under the pressure. My smile turned into a wince, and I swallowed down the lump rising in my throat. “She passed away when I was sixteen. So, I’d love your help.”
Grace’s hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes watered. “I am so sorry, Aspen. I had no idea. Lucian never even mentioned it.”
I choked on a laugh when she pursed her lips and glared in the direction he disappeared to, as if he would feel the judgment through the walls. “Thank you, and it’s okay that he didn’t say anything. I’m sure it didn’t come up, and talking about my dead mom isn’t the best conversation topic.”
Grace reached across the space between our chairs and rested her hand atop mine. The comforting warmth from earlier returned, softening the tight knot in my chest. “I’d love to hear about her and the plans you came up with.”
“Of course.” The words barely escaped around my building emotions.
When was the last time someone asked me about my mom and the good memories we made?
Grace was offering me a gift I didn’t know I needed.
I thought about where to start and laughed at the first memory that came to mind.
“It was silly, really. I’d go through my parents’ wedding album, pointing out my likes and dislikes.
Of course, thirty years ago, there were a lot of things I disliked.
Despite the occasional glare over my comments about why I would ever choose something so old, she never complained.
She listened to every word and asked me what I wanted instead. ”
A soft snort of amusement escaped her. “Oh, my goodness. I couldn’t imagine having that much patience.”
Grace laughed, winced, and held my hand through every story, never once making me feel like I was talking too much or wasting her time. She asked questions and sat with me as I recalled one happy memory after the next.
“She sounds like a wonderful mother,” Grace said, squeezing my hand before pulling back.
“She was.” I took a deep breath, finding it easier than it had been in a while to fill my lungs with enough air that didn’t leave me on the edge of suffocation.
“Lucian’s a lucky man to have found a woman like you.”
I wasn’t sure he’d agree, so I just smiled.
“I was worried about him and how he’d handle Felix’s death, but I’m glad to see he won’t be alone. He has a strong woman who will love him through it.”
Oh, god.
My smile slipped as she rubbed salt into my guilty wound. “I’ll try.”
“You know, I wasn’t sure he’d ever let anyone else in after his divorce,” Grace started.
I froze, striving for a placid expression that held the right amount of interest to keep her going, but not too much that would alert her to the fact that I knew nothing about his first marriage—that I barely knew anything about Lucian at all.
I probably should have stopped her, but curiosity won out, leaving me eager for every bit of information she’d share.
“His ex…I worried she had broken his ability to love. He’d changed so drastically from the man who dreamed of having a family with an army of kids and a wife he adored to the man he is now. One who isolated himself from the opportunity of love and focused his whole life around business.”
Thankfully, Grace focused on her glass of wine because no amount of control could have kept my jaw from falling open. Lucian wanted an army of kids? He wanted a wife he adored? None of the information matched the cold, stoic man who claimed he would never fall in love and called kids complications.
“He wanted to be like his father—a good businessman, but a better father and husband. He talked about putting his family first over work and retiring early so he could travel the world with his wife.” She paused, and her brows pinched in thought.
“Part of me wonders if he ever truly let that dream go.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, on the edge of my seat.
“For starters, his apartment. It’s huge.” She rolled her eyes. “He claims he needs it to entertain business associates and host various events, but I haven’t seen him host a party in years.”
“I actually plan on hosting one this weekend.” Lucian’s voice cut through the room, smooth and unreadable, giving nothing away about what he thought of catching us discussing him.
I jerked, finding him leaning against the wall with his arms crossed just inside the room. How had I missed him there? How long had he been there? How much had he heard? My cheeks heated, and I avoided his gaze like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
“Oh, really?” Grace asked doubtfully, unashamed of being caught talking about him.
“Yes.”
The heavy weight of his gaze urged me to look up until I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Straightening my shoulders, I lifted my chin and met his eyes as if he hadn’t walked in on me acting like a sponge, soaking up every ounce of information about him.
The dark depths held their usual aloofness, but something else lingered there, too.
Maybe I was sensitive after witnessing the softer side all day, but I swore I caught a glimpse of the pain Grace just talked about.
“I was going to discuss it with you first to ensure we were free to entertain before solidifying any plans,” he explained.
“Of course.”
“Well, isn’t that so exciting?” Grace chimed in, clapping her hands. “I guess I should let you two go. You’ll have a busy week ahead of you with all your plans.”
With that, we made our way to the door, where I soaked up one more hug from Grace.
Eager to hear more about this party, we barely made it to the end of the driveway before I asked, “So, what kind of shindig are we hosting? Prospective business partners? Friends? A secret society?”
His lips twitched, sending an absurd thrill of satisfaction through me from such a minor reaction.
“None of those. I spoke to Rose and Corbin last night about bringing The Berkshire to our condo.”
“The whole club?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around any part of that sentence and what it might mean.
“More like a select few. I thought a private event would allow us to play more freely.”
Heat sank into my core. “What kind of play?”
This time, his lips more than twitched, and he glanced my way with a smirk that reminded me of why I called him Dark and Dangerous. “Do you trust me?”
The question spun in my mind like a toy top, whirling too fast, wobbling, then snapping back to center. Did I trust him? Memories collided—times he’d been unwavering, and times he hadn’t—until my head swam.
Did. I. Trust. Him?
I shoved it all aside and went with instinct. I didn’t think. I let the first words that came to my lips spill out, unfiltered and raw.
“Yes.”
Another smile—this one softer, sending a different heat blooming through my chest.
“Then I would like you to take time before the party to review and confirm the activities you originally marked as being open to or interested in,” he said, referring to the list of sexual possibilities he’d given me when this all started.
“If I only have five years with you, then I want to make sure you experience it all.”
I squirmed in my seat, my mind racing with possibilities.
In my chaotic imagination, one thought rose above the rest: five years wouldn’t be nearly enough time to experience everything I wanted with Lucian.
Especially now, since I was starting to want to experience things that had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with the life Grace had painted.
The kind of life Lucian swore he’d never have.