Chapter 16 #2
“Maybe.” She shrugged again, this time with a guileless pout.
However, it quickly transformed into a heavy-lidded smile after she glanced past my shoulder and back to me.
Before I could question it, she leaned in and rested her hand against my upper thigh.
If someone were to look back, it would appear as if her hand were in my lap under the table.
“It was good to see you again, Lucian,” she said, so close her breath brushed my ear.
I angled a direct look at her, needing her to understand she was pushing her luck, but wanting to remain polite. “Good to see you too, Emily.”
Unaffected by my cold tone, she winked and smiled as she pulled away.
Sighing, I lifted my bourbon for a drink.
“That looked cozy.”
My drink almost shot out of my nose. After a few coughs, I collected myself and brought my gaze to the entirely composed face of my fiancée. “Aspen, what are you doing here?”
“I have a better question. What are you doing here?”
Guilt tried to burrow into my chest, but I shoved it aside. I hadn’t done anything wrong. I’d never promised some loving marriage with me being home for dinner every night. I’d only ever promised sex and ensuring she got the last five percent of her company when the time came.
I met her placid expression with one of my own and gestured to Rose and Corbin, who were talking to others. “I’m visiting friends.”
“And watching other women,” she uttered under her breath, surveying the room.
“I didn’t know watching was against the rules of our arrangement.
” I dropped my attention to my glass as I swirled the contents, trying to work through the mix of emotions.
Part of me liked her apparent jealousy, but I also needed to remind both of us about the expectations I’d clearly stated when we first started.
Her lengthy pause had me wondering if maybe I wasn’t the only one struggling to remain on stable ground.
“It’s not, but maybe you could afford me the common courtesy of letting me know. Maybe—” A challenging tone chilled her words, and I braced myself. “I want to watch, too.”
I whipped wide eyes to her, my jaw clenched tight, unable to stop the gut reaction. The thought of her watching another man without me—of finding pleasure from someone else—sent a flood of testosterone through my veins, urging me to throw her over my shoulder and carry her away like some caveman.
The slow smirk curving her lips urged me to rein in my baser instincts.
Unwilling to give her room to question my reaction and what it revealed, I shifted the spotlight to her actions. “So, what? Is hunting me down something I should expect in our marriage?”
“No,” she scoffed, fumbling under the unexpected shift. Again, I wondered if I wasn’t the only one struggling to act without revealing too much. “I wanted to ask why you rescheduled tomorrow’s interview. Again.”
I cocked a brow, staring blankly. “You could ask me that any time.”
“Really? Because I’ve barely seen you. Which is impressive since we live together.”
“You can always reach me through email,” I offered, my tone bored.
Her eyes flared wide and angry. “We freaking live together, Lucian. I am not emailing to talk to my fiancé.”
“I’ve been busy with work, and my work comes first.”
“I know that,” she practically growled.
Once upon a time, I craved breaking past her cool facade. Now, it only increased the knots tightening my stomach.
She wasn’t just angry—she was hurt, and that was dangerous.
Because hurt implied expectation.
Expectation implied she wanted more.
And more was the one thing I could not give.
The air shifted between us—thick with everything we said we didn’t want. Everything we agreed this would never be.
If she thought that conversation about who I used to want to be meant something had changed—
It had, and that was the problem.
Both of us were responsible for blurring the lines until they were barely visible.
But I would have to be the one to redraw them.
I straightened, letting the old version of myself slide back into place. Controlled. Detached. Untouchable.
“Really?” I asked cooly. “Because I’m thinking, after I discussed who I used to want to be, you have some notion about that being who I am now.” My tone hardened. “It’s not. I’ve been up-front and honest about that from the beginning, and you agreed.”
“I know that,” she repeated behind clenched teeth. She looked away, but not before I caught the flare of hurt in her golden eyes.
“Good.” I forced myself to ignore it, taking another drink. “So, how did you get in, anyway?”
“Me.” Rose walked up to the table, eyeing me like she knew I was being an asshole to Aspen and didn’t like it. But that was too bad because I didn’t like her letting in non-members as guests whom I was trying to avoid, making nowhere safe to hide.
I’d visited Grace and Felix, but they kept asking about Aspen and why she wasn’t with me. I went to my home office, but the scent of her spicy vanilla musk permeated under the door, taunting me.
Now she was here.
“I know Corbin loves it when I surprise him at the club,” Rose stated, her eyes unapologetic.
“I sure do,” Corbin agreed from her side, meeting her heated smile with one of his own.
Everyone ignored my irritated scowl and sat, talking as if we’d planned a couple’s date. At least Aspen mostly talked to Rose while Corbin and I discussed our businesses. Not that it mattered, because I was hyperaware of her every move, her scent, her…everything.
She laughed, and goosebumps rose on my skin as if trying to reach across the space. She crossed her legs, and my hand twitched with the need to rest against her thigh—anything to touch her. She brushed her hair aside, and my mouth watered with the desire to run my tongue along her neck.
Every bit of her was a tide, pulling me in. Her allure crashed over me in waves, fracturing the walls I’d built all week, bit by bit, until all I wanted to do was bury myself inside her and never leave.
Fuck.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” a woman spoke from the stage at the front of the room. “We will perform a spanking demonstration in ten minutes. Please settle in and get comfortable while we prepare.”
I was relieved by the distraction until Emily walked on stage, obviously preparing to be the submissive for the show.
The last thing I wanted was to watch Emily getting spanked with Aspen at my side.
Especially with the way Emily continued to eye me with her heavy-lidded stare.
I took another drink, using the glass to hide a cringe and muffle an irritated groan.
Not five minutes later, the announcer strutted over with a tight smile and leaned down to whisper in Rose’s ear.
Based on the blood rushing from Rose’s face, she hadn’t shared anything good.
Immediately, Corbin tensed and soothed his hand along her back.
He made it look so easy to comfort Rose, while I sat there fisting my hands in my lap, fighting the urge to reach for Aspen—to give her everything she needed to ruin me.
“What is it?” Corbin asked.
Rose sucked in a deep breath through her nose and exhaled through pursed lips. She rolled her shoulders back and slowly blinked, as if fortifying herself to face whatever bad news she’d received. “It seems as if Ronin, our Dominant for the evening, left early without any notice or explanation.”
“Oh, shit,” Aspen muttered with an apologetic wince.
“Yeah,” Rose said, huffing a laugh without any humor.
“Do you need me to go grab someone else?” Corbin offered.
“There is no one else,” Rose bit out. “We’re already short-staffed because three other performers called out, and Duncan quit last week.”
“What about Mark or Lincoln?” Corbin asked.
“I can’t use just anyone. We were supposed to showcase a moderate to intense spanking that leads to the submissive’s orgasm. Mark just started dabbling in impact play, and Lincoln is too soft.”
My mind drifted to memories of my hand striking Aspen’s plump flesh, leaving behind a raised imprint of my palm, before soothing the burn. Her moans of pleasure haunted me, stirring my cock.
“Damnit,” Rose swore, her face crumbling. “This had to be perfect.”
“Rose,” Corbin soothed. “Not everything has to b—”
“It does,” she cut him off. “I designed this for the executives at Midnight Orchard, and if it’s not perfect, then they won’t want to partner with my club.”
My brows rose.
“As in…” Aspen started.
“The premier company for erotic toys,” I finished her sentence with a nod. Partnering with them would be a massive opportunity for The Berkshire.
“Oh, shit,” Aspen murmured.
Corbin shook his head. “You didn’t tell me that was tonight. You said you were still in the talking phase of that deal.”
“I didn’t want to tell anyone in case it failed. Like it is now.” Rose tossed her hands, leaving them to slap back to her lap as her eyes glossed over.
Corbin lifted defeated eyes to mine, and I hated it.
Sensing the mood, Aspen scooted closer to me, searching for her own comfort in the tense situation.
I fought the urge to tuck her into my chest. My muscles twitched, reaching for her. One week of forcing myself to stay away, and I was already breaking my rules. One week, and my walls trembled, ready to fall.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
My pulse raced, pumping me full of the same fight or flight adrenaline that screamed at me to run. My lungs spasmed, and I couldn’t—I couldn’t…
I opened my mouth, desperate for my mind to formulate any words that would save me from falling back into vulnerability. I didn’t even know what I would say, just relying on the instinct that had protected me for years.
“I’ll do it.”
“What?” Rose said at the same time as Aspen.
Rose’s eyes flicked between us, but as soon as the offer burst free, I knew it was the perfect way to create space between Aspen and me.
Both physically and, more importantly, emotionally.
It didn’t matter that I couldn’t look at her after I said it.
It didn’t matter that my chest sank in on itself at the thought of performing the demonstration.
It didn’t matter that my skin chilled when she shifted away.
None of it mattered because it was what I needed to be safe.
“Are you serious, man?” Corbin asked, smiling, oblivious to the turmoil my offer created when it provided a perfect solution to Rose’s problems. “Because that would be great.”
I focused on Corbin’s grateful smile. My friends were in need, and I could help them.
I wasn’t the kind of man who let a woman interfere with my friendships—not since Daria fucked my best friend.
I wouldn’t let Aspen stop me from helping my friends just because she formed unwarranted feelings I swore would never happen.
“Corbin…” Rose said softly.
“This is perfect. Who better to demonstrate than the man who taught me?” Corbin beamed at Rose and gripped her cheeks. He smacked a quick kiss on her lips and stood. “I’ll let them know.”
“Wait. Corbin.” Rose stood but paused, looking back between us. “Make sure you’re both okay with this decision,” she said before following her fiancé.
Despite my firm affirmations, the look on Aspen’s face when I finally turned to her hit me like a wrecking ball. Unlike the last time I’d used a situation at the club to put distance between us, she didn’t mask her emotions.
She wore the shock in her slack jaw.
She wore the confusion in the pinch between her brows.
She wore the disbelief with each rapid rise and fall of her chest.
She wore the hurt…everywhere. It dripped from her like uncontrolled tears. It painted her eyes with a dimming shadow. It hung heavy from her shoulders, pulling them down in on herself.
It punched me through the chest and squeezed my heart in a vise. Yet, still I said, “It’s just a spanking, Aspen.” I somehow clung to my decision and hardened my words.
“Just a spanking?” she repeated slowly. As if taking the time to taste them before they left her lips would cause them to make more sense.
“Yeah.” I looked away, my mind struggling to form a response when she stared at me like that. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“How can you say that?” she asked, sadness clouding her features.
When I didn’t respond, she abruptly stood and walked out.
Fuck.