Lucian

Chapter 23

ASPEN

Ishifted from foot to foot, nerves coiled tight, with my hand raised inches from the door. “Just knock,” I muttered to myself. “Just get it over with and knock. Get the dress. Get in and get out. Don’t be a little bitch.”

Still, I hesitated.

Ever since the message arrived early this morning, I’d waffled between pep talks to get me through and crafting excuses to avoid it altogether.

But everything led back to Felix and Grace.

I hadn’t known them long, but they’d carved out a place inside me, making their happiness matter more than my doubts.

When I pictured Grace preparing for the wedding, all while her husband was dying, I just…

couldn’t. I couldn’t walk away. Not now. Not from them.

I remembered the moment Lucian’s face crumbled under the weight of Felix’s impending death, and my heart seized, ready to lay itself bare if it meant making part of this easier.

No, I had to go through with the wedding. Besides, we’d get an annulment, and it would be as if it had never even happened. Barely a blip on my timeline.

Of course, there would also be the kiss at the end of the wedding, which would be excruciating to endure, knowing it’d be the last. Unless we needed to present a happy married couple to Felix during his last few days. Lucian might kiss me then.

Maybe, I wondered, my stomach fluttering.

Hopefully, I wished, my heart thumping harder just imagining his lips against mine.

No. Not hopefully. I shut those traitorous thoughts down. If I was going to survive this, then my heart—the love still stubbornly clinging around the useless muscles—had no business adding any input. I needed to focus on using my brain and treat this like a business deal.

Our interactions would be short and simple.

Then we’d be done.

“You can do this.”

I raised my hand again and took a deep breath.

“No, I can’t,” I whined, reaching into my bag for the keys.

Maybe I’d get lucky, and he’d be in his office—I’d slip in and out before he even noticed. Or maybe I’d get really lucky, and he wouldn’t be home at all.

I slid my shoes off as soon as I stepped inside, easing the door closed until it barely clicked, then tiptoed through the foyer. Peeking down the hall, I saw his office door standing open, which meant he wasn’t inside. I closed my eyes and listened for any sound at all.

I held my breath and listened. When the house stayed silent, I exhaled in shaky relief.

Still taking the smallest steps, I crept through the kitchen and past the living room, catching sight of the Jesus painting I demanded stay hanging up—only because I loved the way he fought me over it, only for us to fall into laughter by the end.

My chest spasmed over the loss of never hearing his laugh.

I’d spent so much time focused on our argument, replaying all the moments I swore he was falling in love with me too, that I forgot about all the things I was losing—like his happiness, which he shared with so few people.

Even around Rose and Corbin, or Felix and Grace, he remained stoic, offering rare smiles.

My eyes burned, and I forced myself to look away as I headed up the stairs, straight to my old room.

I bought the dress on a whim. I’d seen it in a store and fell in love with the clean white lines of the long skirt with a scandalous slit, figuring I could wear it for a bridal shower or something.

I’d hidden it away with the girlish fantasy of surprising him, wanting to see his eyes darken as they took me in.

Now, it all sank like a ship in the hollow pit of my stomach.

Grabbing it off the hook, I glanced around and realized I’d have to venture into the master closet to grab shoes and jewelry.

I clutched the dress to my chest and rolled my lips between my teeth, worried I was pushing my luck with avoiding him.

“Stop. Being. A. Little. Bitch,” I ground out. If I wanted to get through this ordeal tomorrow, then I needed to start now. By not dreading every step as if I were closing in on my death sentence.

Still, I took soft steps down the hall, finding the bedroom door cracked. The darkness from inside lured me into believing it was empty.

The darkness lied.

“Oh, shit,” I screeched. I opened the door to find Lucian sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows braced on his knees, his head cradled in his hands. At the sound of me entering, his head snapped up, dark eyes pinning me where I stood.

“Aspen.”

Just my name—mixed with the hallway light illuminating the desolate look in his eyes—and I wanted to fall to my knees to offer any kind of comfort he’d accept.

No.

I snapped myself out from under his gaze and moved to the closet, pretending it was nothing more than a practical stop instead of a place to hide. “Sorry. All my belongings are here, and I need to grab some things for tomorrow. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”

“No, I’m glad you’re here.”

The deep rumble of his voice reached through the closet and begged me to melt for him. That mixed with the sound of his clothes rustling as he stood, his steps closing in on the small room, had me frantically searching for what I needed.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

Fuck. What was I looking for?

My mind crumbled under the weight of imagining what he planned to say—another repeat of everything he’d already told me. I struggled to pull enough air into my tightening lungs just thinking about it, about hearing him lay out the rules all over again.

When we first made them, they seemed easy to follow. I could barely tolerate him then. Now, I loved him, and having him remind me that tomorrow—our wedding—had nothing to do with love made me want to collapse to the floor and lock myself inside this stupid closet until it hurt less.

“There’s no need to talk,” I announced.

His sigh carried from outside the room. “Aspen…”

“Seriously—it’s fine, Lucian. You’ve made yourself more than clear. I know tomorrow is about Felix. I don’t expect anything more to come from it.”

“Aspen,” he said, his voice firmer, edged with frustration. “I—”

“No,” I cut in, refusing to put myself through whatever he was about to say.

Instead, I kept talking as my hand skimmed over shoes, purses, and jewelry, hoping that if I touched the right thing, I’d remember what the hell I came in here for.

“It’s fine. I broke our rule about falling in love.

I know, and I’m sorry. But we’ll get through tomorrow, get an annulment, and it will all be over—no arguments from me. ”

“I don’t want an annulment,” he grumbled.

“I don’t understand. An annulment is easier than a divorce.

Unless…” My hand froze over the sparkling heels I wore the night we brought the club to our apartment—the night I’d started falling in love.

My heart squeezed painfully. “Unless you’ve changed your mind completely about tomorrow and you’re calling it all off? ”

“No,” he said, exasperated. “Nothing has changed for tomorrow. I just need you to listen to—”

“Please don’t, Lucian,” I begged, squeezing my eyes shut, feeling the walls close in. “Just…please don’t.”

“Jesus Christ, Aspen. I fucking love you,” he bellowed.

My eyes sprang open, the air wheezing from my lungs like I’d been punched. “What?”

“I love you,” he said again.

My mind stalled, struggling to make sense of the words—words that fell so easily from the man who had sworn he’d never love anyone again.

“Now,” he added more quietly, “will you please just come out here?”

I abandoned my search for the shoes and jewelry I finally remembered needing and turned toward the open door, my feet tingling with every step. My head swam so violently that when I stepped into the doorway, I assumed I was hallucinating.

Just beyond the threshold, Lucian kneeled on one knee, a stack of papers held out to me.

“What…” The word slipped from my lips, softer than a breath.

“Aspen Quinn,” he started, his lips curving into a nervous smile. “I fucked up.”

A laugh bubbled out of me at the bluntness of it, so at odds with the gravity of the moment, and he laughed too—quick and breathless—before pushing on.

Not that I could have stopped him. I stood there frozen, wide-eyed and dumbfounded, my jaw somewhere near the floor.

“Not just last week, or a month ago—but from the very beginning. I can’t redo the moment we first met, even though I know how unbelievably wrong I was about you.

But I can redo this. I can get down on one knee and beg you to forgive me and give me another chance.

I can lower myself before you and offer you something valuable—with no strings attached.

I can bare myself to you and ask you to marry me.

Truly marry me. No stipulations. No limits. No rules.”

Tears blurred my vision, clinging to my lashes. “Lucian…”

“These past few weeks without you, sitting at Felix’s bedside, made me realize how short life is. And I don’t want to spend another moment without you.”

Was this really happening? Or had stepping into the closet sent me to another dimension? Maybe I even passed out, hit my head, and all of this was a fantasy. But no matter how many times I blinked, he was still there—a foot away, confessing how he truly felt—looking at me like I was his future.

“After you left, I regressed,” he continued. “Back into the bitter man Daria’s betrayal shaped me into. The man I was before you. I dug deeper into a pit of denial. Into darkness. I refused to see what was right in front of me.”

His mouth curved slightly, his gaze soft and almost disbelieving—as if he couldn’t understand how he’d ever missed me.

“I miss the joy and laughter you brought into my life. The way you lit up every shadow I hid behind like they never existed. It took me far too long to admit it—and I screwed up more than once or ten times along the way,” he added with a reluctant laugh.

“But I can’t ignore what took root the day I met you and grew until it consumed me. ”

“We both mess up,” I whispered. “We’re both so stubborn. You made me feel more than I ever expected, and I barreled past our rules without thinking about how you’d react. I…bombarded you.”

He snorted. “Yeah. You were a real bitch for telling me how much you cared and that you loved me.”

“Shut up,” I said through a watery laugh.

“Being with you reminded me of the dreams I used to have,” he said, his voice filled with such awe that I could hear how fresh this discovery was for him.

“I was so fixated on the fantasy woman I created as a kid that when I didn’t find her in Daria, I gave up.

I didn’t give anyone else a chance. But the truth is…

no one ever made me want to. Then I met you. ”

I stepped closer, drawn like a magnet to the soft warmth in his eyes.

“You reshaped what I want in a wife. Not just someone who loves me—but someone strong. Someone who challenges me. Someone who fights for us when it gets hard. And God knows we’re going to fight.”

I let out a shaky laugh. “I do enjoy fighting with you.”

“And I love it. I don’t fear it. I want it all—with you.” He rose, closing the distance between us, his hand settling at my hip. “I love you.”

“Lucian…” I sniffled. “I—”

He pressed a finger to my lips. “One more thing.” He lifted the papers between us. “Even you say no and walk away, telling me you hate me, this is yours.”

I frowned down at them before looking up for an explanation.

“My contract with your father prevents me from transferring my shares right now. But what I can give you is a legal guarantee that, in five years, I will do whatever is necessary to ensure that the final five percent of Quinn Music Group is yours, giving you majority control of your company. No matter what happens. It’s airtight. ”

“Oh, my god,” I breathed, scanning the pages.

“You deserve this, Aspen.”

“I…I don’t know what to say.”

“This stands regardless of your answer. I went to my lawyer a couple of days ago to get it all set up.”

“A couple of days ago?” My gaze flew to his. “You had this before you came to the office?”

“Yeah.” He gave a sheepish tilt of his head. “Someone wouldn’t let me talk.”

I winced, biting my lip.

“I planned to give it to you tomorrow before the wedding, but then you came in like a fucking dream I conjured, and I couldn’t let you walk out without hearing me first.” His hands tightened on my hips as he searched my face. “So… what do you say, princess?”

Emotion swelled so fast and fierce inside me I thought I might burst. I couldn’t even read the contract through the blur of tears.

“It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind,” he murmured, a thread of fear beneath his calm.

The love inside me climbed higher—pressed against my ribs, my throat—until a startled, breathless laugh escaped. Then another. And another.

I dropped the papers and threw my arms around his shoulders.

He stilled, hope flickering in his dark eyes.

“Yes, Lucian. I’ll marry you. A real marriage.” I tried for a stern look and failed miserably. “And not your version of a real marriage—an actual one. Love and all.”

“Love, babies, and all?” he asked cautiously, like he knew he might be pushing his luck.

Another bright laugh spilled from me, my cheeks aching from smiling. “Yeah. Babies and all.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest before he crushed his mouth to mine—fierce and certain—like he was sealing the promise into place so neither of us could ever take it back.

He pulled away just enough for his breath to ghost across my lips. “Say it.”

“I love you.”

“Again.”

“I love you, Lucian Daire.”

“Again,” he growled, his face shining with a vibrant smile.

“I love yo—”

He kissed me before I could finish, colliding his lips with mine until we lost ourselves.

We lost ourselves in the freedom of letting go of the past. We gave in to the love we both learned could hurt. We gave over to finding it again in each other, knowing we were safe to be who we were always meant to be.

Passionate.

Loving.

Us.