10. Nick
Nick
Icouldn’t sleep that night. I kept reliving the kiss again and again in my mind. One minute I was flying, and the next minute heartbroken at the tears she’d tried to hide from me.
I wasn’t sure what the tears meant, and the not knowing was messing with my mind.
I was also sad that she felt like she couldn’t be vulnerable with me yet. I knew we’d just gotten together recently, but we’d known each other for a lot longer.
I was hopeful the tears meant that the kiss had impacted her as deeply as it had impacted me, but as I’d walked her back to her room last night, she’d been quiet. Then she’d kissed me at the door, and slipped inside her room.
I’d stood outside her door like an idiot for a few minutes, wanting to comfort her. To talk with her. But in the end I’d gone back to my room to give her space.
Which was why I’d been basically pacing my room all night like a caged animal.
My phone buzzed on my dresser. I nearly pounced on it, hoping it was Lucky, but instead growled when I saw the name flash across the screen.
Declan.
“Please tell me you have a good reason for calling at seven in the morning,” I said as I answered. My eyes flicked to the connecting door I shared with Lucky again for the seven hundredth time, but I still couldn’t hear her. She was either still asleep, or being very quiet.
“I’m not sure it’s a good reason, but Kian wants to get together to play poker. What’s wrong with you? You sound depressed still. I thought you were with your girl at a resort.”
My siblings gossiped like old women.
Declan and Kian were the siblings born just after me, and were twins. Declan was the grouchy, emotionally complicated one. Kian was the one that never met a person he couldn’t befriend. Even his twin, which was saying something.
“I’m fine, and I don’t think I can. Lucky isn’t up yet to ask, and I don’t want to just spring you guys on her. You all are a lot to just spring on someone.”
Just then, Lucky came through the connecting door in a robe, looking all warm and soft from sleep. She still had creases on her face from her pillow, her eyes looked half open, and her hair was messy, but she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life.
I stared stupidly at her for a long moment until I heard my brother from my phone speaker. “Hello? Is this thing still on? Nick! Snap out of it, man, and ask your girl!”
I ignored him.
I wanted so badly to hang up the phone and hold Lucky all morning.
I craved her nearness like nothing else I’d ever craved in my life.
But I wanted her to feel safe with me, and that probably meant that I needed to wait and let her make the first move this morning.
After her tears last night, I just wasn’t sure what to do, or what she wanted.
And then all of the uncertainty, the stress and fear, disappeared in an instant, because she came forward and wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her head on my chest.
“Good morning,” she whispered. “Is that your brother on the phone?”
Without a speck of remorse, I tossed the phone on the bed, and wrapped my arms around her, breathing her in. It felt so good to hold her.
My heart settled, and I could finally breathe easily again.
“Nick!” she said with a laugh, protesting me tossing my brother on the bed.
“I missed you,” I murmured, nuzzling her hair. It smelled like sunshine with just a hint of citrus.
“I missed you too,” she said shyly. And I thought, for the rest of my life, I wanted to have her in my arms. I wanted to wake up next to her. I wanted her face to be the first thing I saw each morning and the last thing I saw each night. And I wanted every moment in between.
I could hear my brother’s growl from the phone that had somehow gotten buried under the covers on my messy bed. “Nick, so help me...”
Lucky started laughing at the ridiculousness of the moment, and I smiled.
I loved her laugh.
She pushed me away. “Talk to your brother. His voice sounds different. Is it not Callum?”
Reluctantly, I fished the phone out of my covers. “It’s Declan. He’s one of the twins.”
She looked at me owlishly and blinked adorably for a moment. She didn’t look fully awake quite yet. I thought maybe she’d come right into my room the moment she’d woken up, which made my chest flood with warmth.
She’d immediately sought me out.
I guess I hadn’t screwed up too badly last night. Either that, or she was just very forgiving, which I already knew about her.
“Two of your brothers are twins?”
“Yep. Would you feel comfortable talking with him?” I asked.
“He had a question for us, but I’d prefer if you field it.
” I kissed her forehead. “Whatever you want is okay with me. And please don’t be afraid to shut my brothers down.
It’s good for their egos.” I rolled my eyes, and she laughed, taking the phone hesitantly from me.
“Hello?”
“Hey. Lucky, right?”
“Yes. And you’re Declan? I didn’t know two of Nick’s brothers were twins. That’s so cool!”
I could hear Declan’s sigh. “Kian needs a mental institution.” And then Kian’s “Hey!” in the background.
Lucky laughed. “You guys had something you wanted to do with Nick today? That’s totally fine. I can just laze around the pools today. I was planning on taking it easy, and giving my body one more day before I try to do anything really active.”
I wrapped my arms around Lucky again, and she moved closer to me, resting her forehead against my chest while she continued talking with my brother.
“Why would you need to take it easy? Did something happen to you?”
“Nick didn’t tell you?”
“Yeah, I’m not sure how much you know about us, but I’m not the brother the others go to for life advice, or to chat.” Declan’s voice sounded grouchy, as it normally did, but I frowned when I caught an undercurrent of hurt as well.
My other brothers and I had just always assumed Declan didn’t want to talk, and so we’d left him alone. But I winced as it dawned on me for the first time that Kian had never done that. He talked with Declan all the time about stuff. I’d mistakenly thought it was just a twin thing.
“Sorry bro,” I said, knowing he would hear me. We hadn’t meant to make him feel left out or hurt him.
Declan got quiet for a moment. “It’s okay,” he finally said quietly. “Anyway, Lucky, you were saying?”
“Oh, I just tackled someone and got a minor concussion. It’s not a big deal,” Lucky deflected. “But I’ve had to take it easy for a few days. Anyway, I’d love to meet you all when you come see Nick!”
I chuckled as my brother went quiet again. We always joked in my family that my brother Kian was a force of nature, but I think Lucky was even more so, just in a different way.
“We actually want to get a poker night going, and we’d love you to join us.”
Lucky nibbled on her bottom lip, which just about killed me dead.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on a brothers’ night.”
“I’m sure,” Declan said, and I blinked when his tone sounded almost warm. “And if the others don’t like it, they can kick rocks.”
Lucky laughed. “Okay,” she said shyly. “I’d love to. I’m not very good at poker, though.”
“Even better.”
I rolled my eyes at my brother. It wasn’t like we played for money and he could hustle her.
“What do you guys play for?” Lucky asked, as if reading my mind.
“Whatever you want. We generally don’t bet anything valuable, though.”
“Hmm, how about peanut butter M & M’s?”
“Sounds good. I’ll bring them. Is seven okay?”
Lucky looked at the clock on my bedside table. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m so excited to meet you guys!”
Declan chuckled, which almost made me snatch the phone back and demand he give me our family’s safe word so I knew he hadn’t been body snatched.
“See you tonight.”
Lucky and I spent the whole rest of the day in the oasis area of the resort. We went down the lazy river a few times, but ended our day in one of the adults-only hot tubs, which was miraculously empty for the moment.
It was an infinity hot tub, and looked out over the ocean. The sound of the ocean below us and the light breeze blowing through the dense foliage surrounding us was crazy relaxing.
Lucky had been kind of quiet today. She was still affectionate, so I wasn’t too worried, but I didn’t know what to do or say to help her feel better. Not that she had to feel better. I just... hated it when she was sad. It felt like someone kept stabbing my chest with a dull blade.
Finally, unable to bear it anymore, I pulled her onto my lap, making her squeal and laugh. The hot water and the jets splashed around us, making the surface bubble, but my focus was a hundred percent on my girl.
“You’ve been quiet all day,” I said gently. “Want to talk about it?”
She shook her head, then nodded, which did not help my confusion any.
She laughed at whatever expression was on my face, then kissed my cheek. “I mean, no, I don’t, but yes, I do. It’s both. I guess I just...” She sighed, then met my eyes. “This all feels like a dream, Nick. I guess I’m just afraid one day I’m going to wake up and it’ll all be gone.”
I wrapped my arms loosely around her waist, and rubbed her back, making small circles over her cherry red swimsuit. “Okay, first, it’s not a dream, Lucks. Do you know I know?”
She shook her head.
“Because it hurts sometimes Sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth and hurt your feelings. Sometimes you say something that hurts me or makes me frustrated, but we keep showing up for each other. In the big ways and the small ways. We’ve done it as friends, and now we get to do it as more than friends. ”
I brushed her beautiful hair back away from her face. “You’re it for me, sunshine. I don’t want anyone else. So the only way you’ll lose me is if you force me out of your life.”
I kissed her, and she made a small mewling sound of discontent when I pulled back after a moment, making me chuckle softly.
Putting my forehead to hers and looking into her eyes, I whispered, “Please don’t force me out of your life. I know you’re afraid. I am too sometimes at the thought of losing you. But we can work through that together.”
She nodded, her eyes filling. This time, she trusted me and didn’t hide the tears from me as she quickly wiped them away, then she cuddled against me, resting her face in the curve of my neck.
“Maybe one day we’ll stop being afraid,” she said softly.
“I think we will. It’ll just take some time. Time for you to know you can trust me and to feel secure about us.” I kissed her temple. “When you feel more secure, I know I will as well. I’ll wait as long as it takes for that to happen, just don’t give up on us.”
When she didn’t respond, I let it go.
Trust took time, and that was something I had an abundance of as an immortal.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think the same was true for Lucky.
Whispering a plea to the heavens, I rested my head against hers, closed my eyes, and tried to memorize the feel of her in my arms.