14. Lucky
Lucky
“Nick, I really don’t want to be stuck in this bed again,” I told him, I thought very reasonably. I was on vacation, after all. Who wanted to be stuck in bed during their vacation?
And not for the first time!
Nick smoothed my hair away from my face. “I know. I can pop home for a bit and ask one of the elves to make a potion for you? I know our hospital has one on staff, and I know Rhys wouldn’t mind if the one on staff is gone.”
I felt immediate, intense relief. That was a perfect solution! I’d had to take, or rather had been privileged to take, an elven healing potion now and again, and one of them would be perfect right now.
“That’s brilliant! Why didn’t we think of that when I had my concussion?” I complained, making a face. That hadn’t been fun either.
Nick was quiet for a moment. “To be honest, Lucks, I was a little rattled that day. Sorry. I should have thought of it. I think I’ve gotten used to being at home, where the hospital is mostly for paranormals.
Being in a normal human city is amazing, but there are benefits that I think I just take for granted living in Moonhaven. ”
I squeezed his hand. “Me too. It’s nice living there, right?”
His gaze turned intense. “It is, but I hope you know I’d live wherever you wanted to live.”
“What about you? Do you have anywhere else you’d like to live?”
He rubbed the back of his head in thought. “I’ve lived a lot of different places already. I’m really comfortable in Moonhaven. But if you wanted to go to, say Florida or something to be near the beaches and the water, I wouldn’t mind.”
“It would be nice to be in a warmer climate. I love the sunshine here. And I love being near so many bodies of water. There are all kinds of rivers, lakes, and waterfalls, and then we’re surrounded by the ocean. It’s like a water lover’s paradise.”
Nick smirked. “And I know how much you love the water. At the very least you need to have your own pool.”
I nodded, though having a house with a pool wasn’t really in the cards for me on my secretary’s salary. It was enough for now that my townhouse complex had a couple of them. “It would be nice.” I bit my lip, looking at him hesitantly. “You’d really just go with me?”
He ran a finger across my cheek, his gaze tender. “Anywhere, Lucks. I’d go with you anywhere.”
He stood. “You’ll be okay until I get back?”
I gave him a look. “You’ll be right back. I’m not going to take a header out of the bed in that short amount of time, I promise.”
He laughed bashfully and rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced away. “Yeah, I guess I’m just...”
“Being protective,” I said softly. “It’s okay, Nick. I won’t even get out of bed to use the bathroom.”
His eyebrows went up. “Do you have to use it before I go? I picked up that wheelchair for you, or you can use the crutches. Although, your doctor recommended the wheelchair for you.”
Lucky, lucky me had gotten the same doctor as last time. I swear she’d been hiding a smirk the entire time she’d sewn up my foot.
“I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m accident-prone.”
Nick smirked. “Aren’t you?”
I threw my stuffed elephant at him, but he laughed at me and caught it instead.
He set the elephant down on the bed. “I could just carry you, if you want?”
I scowled at him. “And then what?”
He made a face. “I could... turn my back?”
“Absolutely not. Maybe you could just get me my crutches?”
I hadn’t even been able to shower yet, and I felt gross. I wasn’t supposed to get my foot wet for 48 hours.
“Sure. Hold on.”
He’d dumped the wheelchair and crutches in his room earlier so he could help me when I needed him. He came back with them with a hesitant expression on his face. “Are you sure? I could help you in there. It’s not a problem.”
“Nick.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t his fault. I was hurting, tired, and hungry. A trifecta of irritants basically begging for a bad decision.
Also, he was being sweet and protective, and I loved that about him. I was just grumpy at the moment and struggling to appreciate it.
I also knew that he must be feeling pretty helpless right now. This was his way of handling that feeling in a situation where he otherwise couldn’t do anything.
I opened my eyes to see Nick standing in front of me, looking worried. It didn’t take a genius to know that he was also worried about whether or not he’d just screwed up by offering to help me.
“I’d love that,” I said softly, smiling tiredly at him. “Thank you. It’s so sweet of you to help me.”
His face lit up and the glow around his skin brightened again. It had been absent since I got pushed off a cliff, understandably.
“Really?”
I laughed. “Yes.” I lifted my arms up, feeling like a toddler, but Nick got an arm under my bent legs, and against my back, and picked me up bridal-style. He set me down in the bathroom. “Hold up. Let me get your crutches so you can get up again.”
I groaned and let my head fall back, staring at the ceiling. “This is so embarrassing.”
Nick came back in with the crutches. “Why is this embarrassing?”
I shook my head in exasperation. “Because every new relationship starts with them wanting to show their best selves to the other person.” I gave him a look. “This is not my best self.”
He kissed my forehead. “Finish up. We’ll talk when you come out.”
I did, and managed to wash my hands, and even open the door without knocking myself in the head with one of my crutches, which I was pretty proud of. Nick looked like it was physically painful for him to watch me fumble my way back to the bed without his help, but he didn’t say anything.
When I was finally on the bed, he took the crutches and leaned them against the wall next to me. Then he picked me up and helped me back to the middle, where my pillows were set up, including the ones to keep my foot elevated.
He sat next to me, taking my hand.
“You’re right that most relationships start that way.
But eventually they settle into being comfortable with each other, and the couple stops feeling like they need to constantly perform or be on their best behavior.
It’s exhausting being like that all the time.
” He paused. “You’re not comfortable with me yet? ”
I thought about it. “For most stuff? Yes. For some personal things? No.” I winced.
“Sorry.” I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but I had to be honest. And it might not even be him.
I was pretty closed-off in general. I think sharing these kinds of things with another person who got to see the good, the bad, and the ugly was just... a lot for me.
Nick shook his head. “There’s no wrong or right answer, Lucks. I guess I just thought that since we’ve been friends for a while you’d be comfortable with me by now.”
“I am. Just not with everything.”
He nodded, looking thoughtful.
I adjusted my head on the pillow, trying to find a position that didn’t make my neck ache. My entire body was bruised from hitting the water so hard. I hadn’t been in a diving or jumping position; I’d just slammed into it. I finally found a good position and sighed in relief.
“A lot of personal things are difficult for me. I saw this video on social media of this guy helping his wife. She’d just had a baby.
He helped her take those hospital underwear off, helped her into the shower, scrubbed her feet...
” I had to swallow because I was getting choked up.
“And then I thought to myself, could I do that? Could I be that vulnerable in front of someone else? Even if it was someone I loved?”
Nick started rubbing small circles on my hand.
“Vulnerability is hard, sunshine,” he said softly.
“I think we all wonder if we can be vulnerable with someone we love. I’m pretty sure it’s especially hard for those who’ve been abused.
Their trust was violated, sometimes in horrendous ways, by people who were supposed to love them.
I don’t think that means there’s anything wrong with you.
It just means that the person you choose to spend your life with needs to be a good man who’s worthy of your trust.”
“It also means I need to let him in,” I said quietly.
His grin was tender. “It does mean that, yes.” He sobered. “I’d love for you to let me fully in, Lucks, and be completely comfortable with me, but I know we’re new, and I can be patient.”
I groaned, closing my eyes. “It feels impossible sometimes! It’s exactly like standing in a room full of people naked, just waiting for them to tear everything about you apart.”
“I mean, if you wanted to stand in front of me naked, I wouldn’t complain.”
“Nick!”
He laughed, then settled next to me on the bed, cuddling me against his side with his arm around my waist. “What if, instead of a room full of people ready to tear you to shreds, what if you just found one person in that room. One person who adores you and thinks you’re amazingly beautiful.
One person who admires and respects you.
One person who feels like you’re the very best thing to ever happen to him. ”
I turned onto my side to face him. “The room wouldn’t be as scary then, but... it might still be a little scary.”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “That’s understandable,” he said huskily.
“I don’t want to scare you, so I’ll just leave it with...
I’m that man, Lucks. I’m the person in that room.
And you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.
” He gently kissed my neck but continued speaking against my skin, making me shiver.
“Life isn’t about trying to find someone to live your highlight reel with you.
It’s about finding someone willing to be in the trenches.
Someone who will be there with you on your worst days and still count themselves blessed to be beside you. ”
I thought about his words for a minute. “I really like that.”
His grin and eyebrow waggle was mischievous and endearing. “So you’re saying I’m the whole package?”
I laughed and tried not to smother him with a pillow. Instead, I attempted to push him off the bed. “You promised me a potion. Please go get me one so I can shower and we can go out to get something to eat without me needing my wheelchair. I’m starving!”
He stood up and saluted me. “Your wish is my command.” Then he blinked out of the room while I snorted at his genie humor.
Genies.