Chapter 75
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
I don’t go far. I scramble to find the phone to send Sawyer a message to call everything off. I fucked up. I really fucked up.
My hands tremble when I make the call.
He doesn’t pick up.
I try again, but still no answer. I text him.
Me: Game’s off. Come back.
Nothing. My breathing is fast. How could I do this? I’m no better than Oakley. Only, maybe I’m worse, because I know what I’m signing him up for.
Nausea hits me so hard I know I’m going to puke.
I just make it to the trash in the living room before I’m hurling the contents of my stomach.
Which isn’t much. I haven’t been eating.
But as I puke, it feels like some of the fear and hatred and anger go with it.
When I’m done, I feel empty. But also…cleaner.
I can’t go through with that. I can’t stay Fourteen forever.
That’s when I realize the house is quiet. Too quiet.
Wait, did Oakley leave?
I jump up in a panic. What if he left, and Sawyer hasn’t seen my calls?
Adrenaline burns bright in me, and I dart to the front door, ripping it open. A wave of humid air hits me, but I don’t see Oakley. For a second, I can’t breathe. I fucked up the opportunity to make things work. Oakley apologized, and I spat in his face. Neither of us will find family.
And then I see his shoes by the front door.
By the door. He hasn’t left.
Relief hits me so strongly I sag. He hasn’t left. There’s still a chance.
But wait. What if he put on another pair of shoes?
I have to find him. Grabbing the phone out of my pocket, I dial Sawyer again. I can’t call Oakley yet; we only have one house phone at the moment. Which means I can’t call Kyan or Wyatt either.
No answer.
Trying to catch my breath, I dart up to my room to grab my coat. I’ll find Sawyer myself and tell him it’s off.
When I get upstairs and approach the room, I hear muffled sounds. There’s an ooof of breath, and it sounds like someone is…getting attacked?
Oakley. Oakley’s getting attacked.
Fear burns hot in me, and I boot the door open, charging in to see Kyan is on top of Oakley, hair loose around his face, grinning down at him.
“You’re a little brat, you know that?”
“Get off me.” Oakley’s protest is weak as Kyan pins both of his hands in one.
Wait. No one’s getting hurt? I slow as Oakley turns to look at me.
“Holli.” He moves as if to get up, but Kyan holds him down.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Kyan takes his free hand and tickles under Oakley’s armpit, making Oakley squirm. Oakley fights, bucking Kyan off slightly, but not enough to get away.
Oakley is okay, and Kyan is here. The realization sinks into my bones, and I sag a little bit.
“Lend me a hand?” Kyan tickles Oakley again, and this time Oakley arches off the bed, a mixture of a protest and a laugh coming out. Kyan looks at me, those piercing dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
A…hand?
“I’ll hold him, you put a finger in his ribs.”
“What?” Oakley gasps.
“Well, Holli’s been looking at you all week like she wants to rip your balls off. Figured you’d like this better?” Kyan is tickling what he can reach of Oakley’s side, and Oakley thrashes.
“No! Stop.” But Oakley is laughing.
Kyan laughs with him, arching an eyebrow at me. Their laughter mingling together is sexy, even if Oakley’s is tinged with a bit of panic. It’s terrifying how much I like hearing Oakley laugh. It’s like it reaches into my soul and soothes the wound that’s been red-hot all week.
I should go. I should walk into the dark hallway. Sit in the bad. Let the memories overwhelm me. And yet…I know that isn’t healthy.
Their chemistry is like tiny lights in the darkness, the two fireflies that light up in the storm, dancing together.
The glimpse of good in all the bad. I’ve never seen them…
together like this. Kyan is the control to Oakley’s chaos, keeping him in line without dulling his flame. They fit together so seamlessly.
And I can’t look away.
“I don’t know what you did, but you’re gonna apologize to her.” Kyan leans down to nibble on Oakley’s nipple through his shirt.
My heart is racing for multiple reasons, but not because I feel sick anymore. Tingling is moving through my limbs, and I feel damn near giddy. Oakley is safe. There’s a chance we can be okay.
“Sorry!” Oakley gasps.
“You can do better than that. Holli, get his feet.”
His feet?
“No!” Oakley clasps his feet together and giggles as Kyan bites into his side. For a second, I allow myself to consider what Kyan is offering me. Some level of payback without actually hurting him?
Kyan looks at me, searching my face. Then, he smirks. “It’s just sex,” Kyan says. “You can go back to being mad at him when we’re done.”
Oakley flashes a wounded look at Kyan.
Kyan ignores him. “Do you know what I saw when I met him?”
I stand there, palms sweating, heart racing.
“I saw the person who was obsessed with keeping you safe. At every turn, he asked about you, tried to find you, tried to get me to get you off the island. So much that it actually pissed me off.” Kyan frowns.
“I don’t know much about…relationships. That’s not my realm.
But two people I care about are upset. Let me help. Let me make you feel better.”
Two people that he…cares about? Kyan cares about me?
For some reason, that makes my eyes well up with tears. Maybe it’s the lack of eating, the stress, or what I was about to do, but I want him to care about me. I want both of them to.
“You don’t have to, Holli,” Oakley speaks up. “She has a right to be mad at me.”
He’s damn right I do. I wipe the sweat from my palms on my clothes. I knew I had a right, but hearing him say it makes that gray cloud in my head lighten. It’s like sunlight pokes through the clouds.
“So you don’t deserve to come?” Kyan dips his head to Oakley’s waist.
“No–I…” Oakley groans as Kyan rubs his nose against Oakley’s crotch.
“So she gets to tease you as long as she wants?”
Oakley just makes an irritated sound.
That magnet is pulling again, only it’s stronger now that both of them are in the room. And this time, I don’t fight it. My heart beats in terror the closer to the bed I get. This could get me hurt. Oakley could lie to me again. Kyan could hold me hostage.
But they could also be there for me when the cloud of my thoughts gets to be too much. Maybe, just maybe, I can trust them one day again. And hell, right now all it is is sex anyway.
So, I let go of some of that fear and step up to the bed. It’s even scarier than planning Oakley’s game was. But this time, my stomach is calm. This time, my shoulders are straight, and my head is held high.
Kyan grins into Oakley’s pants. Then he nips at the bulge there. “Get his pants.” He scoots up on Oakley’s stomach, both hands going to Oakley’s wrists.
I move to grab them, my fingers brushing Oakley’s warm skin. As I pull them down, goosebumps prickle across his thighs. It makes me want to pinch him, so I do, pinching the sensitive skin.
Oakley yelps.
“What I’m hearing is, you don’t get to come, mousey.” Kyan flips around so he’s sitting on Oakley’s chest, facing me. He grins. “Ready for some fun?”
My heart is beating quickly, and all kinds of emotions are rushing through me. Kyan wants to help me, and Oakley seems more than okay with it. Oakley is pinned and hard, his dick pulsing against his pelvis.
Can we fix this?
Kyan digs his fingers into Oakley’s stomach. Oakley buckles, but I’m there, my hand around his dick. I grab it, stroking up and down. Oakley groans, muttering gibberish.
Kyan sends me a wink and leans down, putting the tip of Oakley’s dick in his mouth while I stroke.
For a second, I’m shocked, then I lean into it.
I squeeze the base, pulling up into Kyan’s mouth.
Every stroke sends my hand against Kyan’s lips and nose.
He just groans, dipping his head further.
When he dips even further, he pins my hand against Oakley’s pelvis.
I reach down, grabbing Oakley’s balls with my other hand.
Oakley groans loudly, bucking up into us, making Kyan choke, but he doesn’t let up. I massage his balls, feeling how Oakley stiffens.
Kyan pops off him. “Slow down.”
I do, and Oakley is gasping for breath, tiny stutters in his hips. “Please…” It’s clear he was close to coming, and we just ruined it. It makes me smile.
Kyan grins at me. “Shall we lick him slowly? ” He licks up Oakley’s shaft, just light enough to not give enough friction for him to come.
Diabolical. I love it.
Slowly, I bend down to do the same, meeting Kyan’s gaze.
We’re so close our breath is brushing against each other.
His gaze is electric, bouncing with amusement and lust, and I’m caught up in it.
I stick out my tongue, starting from the base and licking to the top.
Kyan starts next to me, keeping eye contact as he licks, our tongues brushing in the softest way.
I can’t help but think about how much Kyan looks like Wyatt.
About what it would feel like to have Wyatt in this moment as well.
About how he’d look at me with those worshiping eyes, completely wrapped up in the moment with us.
Oakley shivers under us, muttering something unintelligible that sounds a lot like begging. Shivers skitter down my body, and my clit throbs. It makes me angry. I shouldn’t be turned on by this. This is revenge.
So I go harder, working Oakley up into a shivering, sputtering mess. Only, it works me up too, and I have to keep my breath even so it’s not obvious.
“Oh, poor baby. That must be painful,” Kyan croons.
“Please.”
“No.” The answer is out of my mouth before Kyan can say anything. I’m sure of this no. Just as sure as I was when I told Oakley not to leave the house.
Oakley doesn’t get to come. Not this time, and maybe not for a long time in the future. Maybe I’ll edge him fourteen times, one for each day I had to play the game. Maybe he’ll get lucky the fourteenth time, maybe not.
Kyan gives me a look that slowly twists into a grin. Like he sees what I’m thinking and approves.
“You heard her. No, it is.” Kyan looks me up and down. I’m hot and worked up, and I just want to leave so I can make myself come.
“You owe her an orgasm.” Kyan pats Oakley’s thigh. “Get her seat ready.”
I freeze. Wait, he wants me to come? Here? In front of both of them?
Oakley licks his lips, panting. “Please, Holli. Let me make you come.”
“Suffocate him.” Kyan shrugs. “You deserve at least an orgasm out of this.”
For a second, I hesitate. Coming feels vulnerable. Dangerous. Letting them see me lost in pleasure?
Then, Kyan’s words register. I deserve it.
At first, I kick back against the thought, but the truth of that statement hits me.
You know what? I do deserve it. I’ve been fighting for my life.
I deserve a chance to feel good. I don’t have to be vulnerable.
It’s just messing with my body, which has already been done.
I break out of whatever is holding me back and pull my pants down, swinging my leg over Oakley’s face. I don’t give him a chance to adjust, just sit on his mouth.
Oakley immediately moves his mouth, licking up my slit.
I ride, using his tongue to stimulate my clit.
He adjusts, latching on to my clit and sucking.
It makes pleasure burst through my core.
I barely even notice that Oakley’s hands are free and he’s gripping my thighs hard enough to give a small bite of pain. I press all my weight down into him.
He needs to pay.
And he does, sucking my clit and moving his jaw to stimulate it at the same time. The orgasm builds until every muscle is tense.
I can’t hold it any longer. I come, exploding all over his face in waves of ecstasy. Oakley eats me through it with muffled groaning. The orgasm is powerful, rocking my mind and putting me in a haze of pleasure.
When I clear the haze enough to feel that Oakley is trying to get me off again, I move off him. He doesn’t deserve more than one. And I think if I stay, I’ll never get up again.
I catch my breath, panting. Kyan takes my place, shoving his dick into Oakley’s mouth. The groans and wet sounds they make do nothing to help the pleasured fog to clear. I remember why I’m mad, but it’s hard to feel it right now.
There’s a groan, then Kyan is coming. When he rolls off Oakley, he lies beside me, panting. “That was good as fuck, mousey. Now snuggle me.”
He grabs Oakley, pulling him to him.
“Please,” Oakley groans.
“Nope.” Kyan just nestles his head in Oakely’s neck. “Lady makes the rules.”
I’m starting to come to my senses, and I move to get up, but a heavy hand claps down on my thigh. It’s Kyan.
“Stay?” he asks.
And in this moment, I realize I have nowhere else to go. What am I going to do, go downstairs and hang out alone?
I’ve been doing that my whole life.
So, I stay. I stay with Kyan and Oakley and lie in silence, staring at the ceiling. As I do, I’m forced to acknowledge the tough emotions that come with betrayal. I stare at the plaster, trying to sort them out. Trying to feel them.
Then, soft snores come from beside us.
Kyan is asleep.
I won’t sleep. I know that much. Not with Oakley. And yet, I also won’t leave. Nothing is okay, but in this exact moment, there’s a weird semblance of peace. And I’ll accept that. Just for now.