Chapter Two #2
stumped. What am I supposed to do?”
Jen studies me, and I know she’s really thinking about it.
It’s one of the things I love most about her. She listens, cares, and we have
yet to find a problem she can’t help me solve.
“I’m so lucky you’re my friend,” I say.
Her head tilts, and her expression softens. “Aww. What made
you say that?”
“Because I’m spiraling, and you’re always there to help me.
And it’s real help, not just empty encouragement.” I shrug. “I really
appreciate it and wanted you to know.”
Stepping away from the closet, she sits down beside me on
the bed. My head immediately falls to her shoulder, and her arm comes around
me. When her head rests against mine, I’m overcome with gratitude.
“I feel the same way,” she says after a moment. “And you
know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I know.”
“And you also know that I will always be honest with you.”
I nod. “It’s another one of your amazing perks.”
“Okay, then.” She lets out a soft sigh. “You need to get out
of your head and pick something to wear. It doesn’t have to be about the
premiere or even the date. It has to be about you. What do you want to wear
that’s going to make you feel good? Pretty. Special.”
Lifting her head, she pulls back a bit, making me look up.
“You’re right. I’m overthinking this, and I need to stop.”
Easier said than done.
I’ve been waiting for this birthday for so many years, I
think I’m trying to manifest something great. I don’t want anything to go
wrong. But maybe I’m getting in my own way. Even though the movie premiere
isn’t on my birthday, it’s my birthday week, and anything close to the
date is going to weigh heavily on my mind. Can I leave something this
special to chance?
Jen slowly stands, watching me with an almost comical level
of caution. “I’m going to go through your closet, and we are going to discuss
the pros and cons of all the possibilities. And if we can’t find anything…”
“We’ll go to the thrift shop,” I finish for her. With a
sigh, I wave to the open closet door. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
Thirty minutes later, we’ve discussed every pro and
con of pretty much every article of clothing I own, but nothing has inspired
either of us.
“Before we go anywhere,” Jen announces, “I’m going to call
Penny. You know she has some amazing vintage clothes, and the two of you are
around the same size. I want to see if maybe she has something that could work.
Hang tight.”
She practically skips out of my room as I flop back onto my
bed, mentally exhausted. I’m contemplating a quick nap to deal with phase two
of the perfect dress search when my phone rings.
I’m practically giddy when I see my mom’s name on the
screen.
“Hey, Mom!”
“Hey, sunshine. How’s my girl doing?”
“I’m good. How’s everything at home? How’s Dad?”
“Oh, everyone’s fine,” she assures me. “Your sister was just
complaining that she wishes we were still in Florida so she could go and spend
the day at Wonder Land like we used to.”
“I get that.”
“It’s been almost two years, and we all miss it. But…it is
what it is. So, what’s new with you? Any exciting auditions?” she asks.
“No, but I’m filming
a guest spot on a sitcom next week. And today, Jen and I are trying to figure
out what I’m going to wear to the movie premiere in two weeks.”
“That’s right. I remember you telling me it was coming up.
What are you thinking of wearing? Have you found anything yet? Jen has such
great taste and style, I’m sure she’ll find the perfect dress for you.”
Sighing, I tell her all about how our afternoon has gone so
far, but I leave out the whole Christian angle. I don’t know why. Usually, I
tell my mom everything, but for some reason, I’m being vague. “I don’t know,
I’m being really indecisive.”
“Hmm…that doesn’t sound like you. What do you think the
problem is?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Ella…” And yeah, her tone tells me she’s not buying it.
“Ugh, fine. I might get set up with someone to go as my date
to the premiere.”
“And?”
“And…he’s a baseball player. Sort of a friend of a friend.”
“Okay, so then you have someone to vouch for him,” she
reasons. “Do you want to go out with him, or are you doing it because you need
a date? Because if you’re not really interested in going out with him, then I
don’t know why you’re making yourself crazy about a dress. Don’t overthink it.”
“It’s still a movie premiere, Mom. I want to look my best,”
I explain. “And I want to go out with him. He intrigues me, but I don’t know
why.”
“Wait, is he the baseball player you were telling me about?
Number twenty-two? You made eye contact with him at the game you went to last
month, right?”
“That’s the one.”
“Now this is all making sense.”
“Does it?” I ask with a small laugh. “Because I still don’t
get it.”
“Ella, you are the most confident girl I’ve ever known. Just
be yourself. He’s either going to like you for you, or he’s not the one.”
“Um…yeah. I’m not sure where you’re going with this,” I
murmur.
“Ella, I know you like to control everything, and you don’t
like surprises, but you know what I’ve always told you. When you meet the one,
you’ll just know. I think this is just unfamiliar territory for you.”
I fight the urge to roll my eyes, even though she can’t see
me. “I’ve gone on dates before, Mom.”
“Not with a famous baseball player. You’ve always been the
one in the spotlight—the famous one.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m definitely not famous.
Not yet.”
“Ella,” she says with a hint of admonishment. “It’s okay to
be nervous about this date. It’s okay to try something new. And it’s even okay
if you go out with him, and it doesn’t exactly work out. But it’s not okay for
you not to try.”
I sit up so fast that I have to shove my hair out of my
face. “What do you mean? I am trying! I’m looking for the perfect dress and
everything.”
“Yes, yes…you’re looking, but you’re being wishy-washy. At
least, that’s the way it sounds to me. Treat this like you would treat any
other audition. My Ella would have already picked an outfit and would have Jen
working on the perfect accessories for it.”
“We just started this like an hour ago…”
“But you’ve known about the premiere for weeks. This isn’t
brand-new information, that’s all I’m saying. You need to be the confident and
decisive girl you were raised to be.”
Would Christian like that girl?
My eyes instantly land on my hat sitting on one of my makeshift
shelves. The one my parents gave me for Christmas that has Dream It. Be It
embroidered on it. It’s old, and I don’t wear it anymore, but I display it as a
reminder that I could be anything I wanted, but I had to work for it.
And right now, it is the perfect reminder of all the things
I’ve dreamed of and how I made so many of them come true because I was that
confident and decisive girl. So, why am I not confident about this date? If
it’s meant to be, then it will happen no matter what I wear. I need to get out
of my head, just like I said to Jen only minutes ago, and it’s time to find the
darn dress.
“You’re right,” I finally say. “I am feeling a little out of
my element. The whole thing with having my publicist call his just seems so
weird to me.”
“It’s Hollywood, Ella.” She laughs. “That’s the way things
are done. If anything, it’s like the universe telling you you’ve made it. It’s
not weird. It’s exciting.”
“I guess I never looked at it like that.”
But I still think it’s weird.
I wonder if Christian thinks it’s weird, too.
I’m about to say more when Jen comes running back into my
room with an armful of garments. “I’ve got the best idea!” she announces.
“Remember in Cinderella, when the mice gather up all the little odds
and ends and help create her dress? What if we create your dress? I’ve got my
sewing machine and all kinds of cool pieces we can play with. And Penny’s going
to bring over some stuff, too. What do you think?”
I’m a little speechless, honestly. But my mom chimes in with
her two cents.
“I love that idea. Hi, Jen!” she says loudly.
“Hey, Mrs. Holt. We’ll send pictures when we’re done.”
“I think I need to go, Mom,” I say as I climb off the bed.
“I promise to send pictures when we decide on a dress. But…maybe not the one
that’s potentially being constructed.”
Laughter is her initial response, followed by a reminder of
everything we’ve been talking about. “Be brave, be bold, be confident,
sunshine. Wear something that makes you feel that way. Even if it’s not what
your talented and helpful friend is trying to create for you.”
I’m looking at the things Jen is currently laying out all
over my room and, for the life of me, I can’t envision what she’s thinking.
“Thanks, Mom. I love you, and we’ll talk soon. Give Dad and
everyone my love.”
“I will, sweetheart. Take care. Love you.”
Putting the phone down, I try to find something to say that
won’t offend Jen.
“Why don’t we hit the thrift shop before we start taking
apart your clothes?” I suggest. “Not that I don’t appreciate the sacrifice. But
it would be a shame to start deconstructing stuff when we might find something
already made.”
She pauses as she turns to look at me. “You hate it, don’t
you?”
It wasn’t a question.
“Of course, I don’t hate it. I don’t even know what it is
yet. I’m just saying that we were all excited about the thrift shop, and after
talking to my mom, I know I’m being difficult—but not on purpose,” I quickly
clarify. “I’m just nervous about this date.”
“Well, duh. Yeah. We all know that, Ella.”
“We? Who’s we?”
“Me, Penny, and Freya” she throws out, like it’s no big
deal.
“When did you all even talk about this?” I’m not really
accusing her of anything, but thinking of my friends all talking about me
behind my back sort of gets my hackles up. I know it’s crazy—call it childhood
trauma—but I don’t like it.
“Yesterday, when we were all at the coffee shop, remember?
That’s when I first asked if you wanted to look for a dress today. And even
though you were off the clock, you had to jump in and ring up that guy with the
tattoos and purple hair. By the way, while I think it’s awesome that you help