Chapter Five #3
during the season, but Sunday is our last game for the year.”
“Then the season is over?”
He nods. “It is, but not really. Not for me.” Pausing, he
runs his thumb lightly over my palm. “I’m very disciplined. I’m the guy who
practices even when there isn’t a formal practice. It’s just the way I’ve
always been. I live by a very strict routine. I have to. This season was a
little rough, and I’m dealing with an injury that I need to get resolved before
next season begins.”
“Oh, wow. You’d never know anything was wrong,” I say,
trying to think if I’ve noticed a limp or if he winced at any point, but he
didn’t. “May I ask what kind of injury it is?”
“They think I pulled my piriformis muscle,” he says, like
that explains everything.
“So, what do you have to do for that? Do you go to physical
therapy?”
“Yup,” he says solemnly. He’s studying our hands, and I can
tell he’s got something else to say, but he’s trying not to say it.
“Christian?”
He looks up at me.
“I feel like there’s more to this than you’re telling me,” I
add.
He’s quiet for a moment before letting out a long breath.
“When I heard about you and the premiere, I wasn’t only hesitant because of the
whole, you know, Hollywood aspect of it.”
I know he’s referring to my people calling his people, and
he’s not being derogatory.
“I guess I wasn’t thinking of anything beyond…this.”
When he pauses again, it hits me that I could be reading the
situation wrong. Am I the only one catching feelings? Maybe he’s just a nice
guy who gets along with everyone, and I misinterpreted the whole thing. I’ve
never been the type of person who romanticizes relationships, because I know
right away if I have those feelings for someone or not.
And I have them for Christian.
But it seems it might be one-sided.
“Oh,” I force myself to say. Now, I’m studying our hands and
the way he’s still caressing my palm. The tenderness of it makes no sense. How
can his touch be so gentle if he’s already pulling away? I want to pull back
and break the connection, but I can’t.
With his other hand, he reaches out and touches my cheek.
Now, I have to look at him.
“I didn’t realize I was going to meet a woman who would turn
my carefully disciplined world upside down.”
I gasp softly, and my heart starts to race. Is he saying
what I think he’s saying?
“I don’t date a lot because I don’t have much downtime,” he
goes on. “And I’ve never met anyone who made me want more time away from the
field.”
The lopsided grin he gives me is endearing, but I don’t want
to say anything until he’s done.
“My career is everything to me. I live, breathe, eat, and
sleep baseball. I don’t like to take my focus away from it because an athlete
has a short shelf life, if you know what I mean. If I don’t stay at the top of
my game, my career is over.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m not ready for that
yet.”
“O-kay…” I draw out the word. I’m feeling some mixed
signals.
Does he want to be with me but can’t because of his career?
Because that’s where I feel this is leading.
“This last week has been one of the best I’ve had in a long
time. And honestly, I didn’t see it coming.”
I laugh nervously. “Me, neither.”
“Here’s the thing. This injury requires me to work with the team’s
trainer. The physical therapy will be pretty intensive if I want to be in top
form for next season.”
Ugh. He’s dragging this out, and I don’t even think before I
blurt out, “It’s okay, Christian. I get it. We had a great time, but the
timing’s off for us. You need to deal with your injury. Maybe when you’re
feeling better, we can try again. Or not. I’m not really sure what you’re
thinking.” I let out a small huff. “And now I’m just rambling because I swore I
was going to stay quiet until you were done talking. But I feel like you’re
trying to let me down easy, so you’re taking the long way around.”
I hate that I can feel tears stinging my eyes, but I force
them back and keep going.
“I totally get dedication to your career. Heck, I grew up
without any real friends because I spent so much time and energy focusing on
every kind of lesson out there that would help me become an actress.” I close
my hand around his and force myself to smile. “Am I disappointed because I
really saw this going somewhere? Yes. But I can honestly say that it’s okay.” I
give his hand a little squeeze. “I promise.”
He doesn’t say anything, and his expression doesn’t change.
But when I go to pull my hand away, he holds on.
“Ella Rose, the last thing I want is to disappoint you, and
even though I appreciate you saying that you’ll be okay, that’s not what I was
going for.”
I’m confused again. “It’s not?”
Shaking his head, I catch a glimpse of a smile. “No. What I
was trying to tell you—in my very slow and roundabout way—is that I
have to go to Arizona to work with the trainer.”
“Why Arizona? I thought with the stadium being here…”
“Our training facility is in Tempe. That’s where most of our
staff is.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll be gone for a month, and that disappoints me because,
well, I’m going to miss you. I hate that we’ve had this amazing week, and now I
have to leave.”
Relief washes over me like a wave, and I’m not sure if I
should laugh or cry.
My breath is shaky as I release it. Those tears still sting
my eyes, but they’re happy tears now.
Sort of.
“Okay, then,” I say. “We’ll still be able to talk on the
phone and…and…” Then I pause. “So, you’ll be gone a month?”
“Yes, four weeks. But I’m hoping maybe I can get it done in
three.”
“Oh. Okay. And when do you leave?”
“Sunday. Right after our last game.”
In less than three days.
“Wow. Um…” Another long breath. “This is totally doable.
It’s not great, but we’ll make it work.”
Again, he doesn’t respond right away, but I know there’s
more coming.
“You should come with me,” he blurts.
“What?” I’m certain my eyes are comically wide as I sputter
and stammer and try to think of something to say.
Christian nods. “Come with me,” he says in earnest. “I know
it’s a little crazy.”
“Ya think?” I ask with a nervous laugh. “Christian, I…I
don’t know. I mean…I want to say yes, but we just met. And I’m really an
old-fashioned kind of girl. I’m not sure I’m comfortable staying in a hotel
with a man I barely know.”
“I would get you your own room. And I don’t expect anything,
you know, in return. I just really hate the idea of leaving when we just found
each other.”
Oh, my goodness. My heart is seriously going to beat right
out of my chest.
I want to be impulsive. I want to say yes. For most of my life,
I’ve acted on impulse because I believed in whatever I wanted to do. But this?
This isn’t a role in a play, a commercial, or a TV show.
This is real. And it has the potential to ruin something
really great if we don’t think things through.
I should lead with my head, not my heart, shouldn’t I?
Taking both his hands in mine, I stare at them. I memorize
the way they feel, even as I let out a shaky breath. I can’t believe I’m going
to be logical about this.
“I love that you want me to go with you,” I tell him.
Slowly, my gaze meets his. “But I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”
His disappointment is palpable. “Oh.”
“We’re still going to make it work. I promise. We’ll talk
every day. And with any luck, it will only be a few weeks.”
Mentally, my fingers are crossed.
“Are you sure? I don’t expect you to just sit around and
wait for me to come back from Arizona. I’m sure you have guys practically
banging down your door. I mean…look at you. You’re beautiful.”
And there are those butterflies. Right on cue.
“You think I’m beautiful?” My voice is so soft, I’m sure he
can barely hear me, but he must because he nods. That boyish grin of his melts
my heart.
“I do,” he whispers as he begins to slowly close the
distance between us. When his lips are just a breath away from mine, he pauses.
“Is it okay if I kiss you, Ella Rose?”
All I can do is nod.
Then his lips gently touch mine. It’s so much better than
the first kiss because it lingers and goes a bit deeper. It’s the kind of kiss
you sink into but are in no rush to end.
I know it will.
But I’m going to savor it while I can.