Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
L andon
I know the exact minute that she falls asleep.
Her body fully relaxes into mine, and her breathing evens out.
Slowly, I exhale as I try to decipher what’s going on.
As I try to wrap my head around what the fuck I’m doing.
I’m surprising myself with this girl. I’m not acting like me at all, yet at the same time, it all feels… right.
The more I’m around her, the more I want to be.
Is it the chase? No, surely not. Yeah, I want her to agree to go out with me without me having to trick her, but the funny thing is, it’s not really about that now.
Suddenly, it’s just about spending time with her.
Hearing her laugh, getting one of those beautiful smiles directed my way.
It’s watching her green eyes sparkle when she pretends to be irritated, or the way she trusts me to hold her here on her couch while she sleeps peacefully.
Life comes easy to me. Football was something I picked up on at a young age, and my skill has just grown from there.
I’ve never really had to struggle or want for anything.
Even in my professional football career, the scouts were coming to watch me play as a freshman.
Yes, I work hard and give it all I’ve got, but it doesn’t feel like work when it’s something that you love.
Even women. I was the hot new QB on campus, and the girls flocked to me.
Same way in high school. I’ve never had to find female companions, never had to pursue someone.
Turns out, I like it. I like it a lot. In fact, I love that she doesn’t seem to care that I’m a professional athlete.
Hell, she’s not even a fan of my team. I can’t hide my smile when I think about her wearing the Mavericks T-shirt to training camp.
She’s her own person, knows her mind, and I really like that.
More than I ever knew or thought I would.
My phone vibrates from its spot on the end table, and I wince, hoping like hell it doesn’t wake Tess up.
Reaching behind me, careful not to move her, I grab it, and the vibration against the wood silences.
Glancing at the screen, I see Case’s name.
Letting the call go to voicemail, I fire off a text.
Me: What’s up?
Case: Henry’s?
Me: Can’t.
Case: Dude, what’s with you?
Me: I’m on a date.
Case: With who?
Case: Wait. You don’t date.
I do now.
Me: I do now.
I can see the little bubbles bouncing, telling me he’s writing back.
I’m sure I’ve shocked him. I know I’ve shocked him.
I don’t date as it’s hard to decipher the real from the fake.
Who wants you for your fame and fortune and who wants you for you.
I can say with 100 percent certainty that the woman in my arms couldn’t care less about my career or my bank account.
No way is this fake—the way she watches me or blushes when I call her Freckles.
The way she continues to shoot me down, even when I can see in her eyes that telling me no is the last thing she wants to do.
Case: Prove it.
I hesitate before snapping a picture of her in my arms. My smile is wide and genuine as I hold her while she sleeps. I have to admit, this being my new normal sounds pretty fucking good. I could get on board with hanging out with her like this. Shaking out of my thoughts, I send him the picture.
Case: No shit.
Case: Are you boring her or what?
Me: Fuck off. Tell Henry I said hey.
Case: 10-4
I love how he easily lets me off the hook because he knows I’m with a woman, but if I had been sitting at home, enjoying the peace and quiet there, he would have been knocking on my door and dragging my ass to the bar.
He’s giving me peace for now, but I know as sure as I’m sitting here that the next time I talk to him, he’s going to give me shit.
Then he’s going to want to know what’s going on and what my intentions are.
He doesn’t know her, has only met her once, but he’s still going to ask me.
Placing my phone back on the end table, I try to focus on the movie.
I’ve missed over half of it, and it’s unable to grab my attention, unlike the beautiful woman sleeping in my arms. She shifts, and now she’s lying on top of me.
I bring my other leg up on the couch and wrap both of my arms around her.
Closing my eyes, I focus on memorizing how this feels.
I used to think guys like Trent were crazy for having a wife and kid while traveling all the time…
to be away from them while we’re on the road.
It’s not about the temptation. You can remove yourself from that easily enough.
The guys who give in to temptation put themselves in the middle of it.
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if she were mine.
What would it be like coming home after being on the road to find her warm and snuggled in my bed?
That image alone has my cock stirring to life, and we can’t have that.
Not with her body aligned with mine. I don’t want to scare her off.
No. In fact, I want to keep her with me as long as possible.
Holy fuck. I want her to be mine.
I let that thought take root, decipher what it would mean for me and for her, and then my mind goes to being with her like this all the time. No more random hookups. Instead, something meaningful and real.
Am I ready for that?
Am I ready for her?
Those are my last thoughts as I drift off to sleep.
Feeling as though I’m being watched, I peel my eyes open. Tessa is still on top of me, but now she’s on her belly, her chin propped up on my chest by her hand. Her green eyes stare at me intently, and a slight blush coats her cheeks.
Busted.
“We fell asleep,” she says before I have a chance to call her out on watching me.
“We did.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
Another thing that sets her apart from the others is that she’s open and honest. Sure, sometimes I feel as though I have to pull it out of her, but we’re just getting to know each other.
I can only imagine that, over time, I’ll never have to guess or pry it out of her.
She’ll just tell me like she did just now.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You first.”
“I’m thinking we should make this a tradition, naps on Saturday afternoons.”
“Pretty soon, the season will start, and you won’t have Saturday afternoons available for naps.”
“There’s always the off-season.” She closes her eyes, and I hate that we’ve lost that connection. “Tess.” I brush some loose strands of hair away from her face while I wait for her to decide she’s ready to face me again. When she does finally open her eyes, they’re intense as they lock on mine.
“This isn’t a game, Landon. I can’t do this”—she indicates her head toward me—“kind of thing without catching feelings. I know me, and I know I can’t do it.
I won’t pretend to say that I know you, because I don’t.
Do I think you’re a good guy? Yeah, I do.
Do I think that this is really what you want?
No, I don’t. It gets to you that I told you no, so you’re pulling out all the stops for me to say yes.
What happens when I do? What happens then? ”
I don’t have an answer for her, at least not one that she wants to hear.
Instead, I answer honestly. “I’m not sure what this is.
I’m not sure what it means that I’m perfectly content to hold you in my arms on a Saturday night when I could be…
anywhere else.” Hurt flashes in her eyes, and I rush to explain.
“I didn’t mean it the way that it sounded.
I just mean that this is where I chose to be.
Here, with you. Why do we have to name it? ”
“Because I want the fairy tale.”
I nod. I don’t know what to say to that. She deserves the fairy tale, but I’m not sure that I’m the one who can give her that. We’re at an impasse. I want to spend more time with her, I want more moments like this, but I don’t know if I can give her what she wants or what she deserves.
I guess only time will tell.
“You ready to watch another movie?” I ask instead.
Her entire demeanor seems to deflate as if she was holding out hope that I would be her prince charming and sweep her off her feet.
I wish I could be that guy for her. Right now, I don’t know if I am.
I have so many emotions running through me.
Elation that this beautiful woman would even consider letting me be a part of her life.
Fear that she wants it to be more. Worry that these feelings swarming me are just because of the chase, because she turned me down.
That’s how this started. I don’t know what any of it means. I need some time to work it out.
What I do know is that I will never regret any amount of time that I get to spend with her.
“Sure,” she says, and gingerly climbs off me.
I miss her heat instantly. “Want some leftovers?” I ask.
“No, thanks. Help yourself.” She disappears down the hall to, I assume, the bathroom.
Standing from the couch, I stretch, then reach down and adjust my cock. I’m a man who just had the body of a beautiful woman aligned with mine; I can’t be held accountable for my actions. I know she felt it, but she didn’t say a word.
Making my way to the kitchen, I open the cabinets until I find a bowl and make another big serving of her chicken casserole.
This shit is amazing, and I’m going to have to ask again how she made it.
Grabbing two bottles of water, I head back to the living room.
Tessa is there, curled up in the corner of the couch with the blanket thrown over her legs.
Is that disappointment I feel? “Got you a water.” I hand her one of the bottles and take a seat on the opposite end of the couch.
I fucking hate the distance that one cushion keeps between us, but it’s what she wants.
Until I know what I want, what all this shit bouncing around in my head means, I owe her that.
“I’m glad to see that’s getting eaten.” She nods toward the heaped bowl in my hands.
“It’s so good. Can you send me the recipe? This is something I could make for myself and eat it for a few days.”
“Sure. I’ll text it to you.” She reaches for her phone, her fingers flying across the screen, and then my phone vibrates on the table. “Sent.”
“Thanks.” I toss her the remote. “Your turn to choose.”
She snags the remote from where it lands beside her on the couch and begins to scroll through the stations.
“I really don’t care what we watch.” She settles on the Hallmark channel, and I can’t even find it in me to be irritated.
Normally, I would be, but this… two chick flicks in one night and no chance of getting laid, it’s nothing.
I don’t care even the slightest because I’m with Tessa. That’s gotta mean something, right?
Two hours later, I feel like I need to beat on my chest and fart or some shit just to prove my manhood.
I’ll never admit it out loud, but the movie was good.
PG, but there’s nothing wrong with that.
I glance over at Tessa to catch her yawning.
Looking at the time, I see it’s after midnight, and even though I hate it, it’s time for me to go.
“Thanks for dinner.” I stand and gather my phone. I washed my dish during a commercial break.
“You’re welcome. It was nice to have the company.” She smiles up at me.
I want to kiss her.
I can’t kiss her.
“Date number three in the books,” I say to get my mind off her full, kissable lips, and because I know it’s going to get her sparring with me. I love that side of her. The side that doesn’t let my bullshit slide.
She rolls those big green eyes, but a smile plays on her lips. “You’re something else, Number Eighteen.” She stands and walks with me to the door. “Drive safe.”
Unable to help myself, I wrap my arms around her in a hug and hold on a little longer than I should.
Pulling back, I drop a quick kiss to her temple.
“Always.” With that, I force my feet to carry me out the door and to my SUV.
As soon as I start my car, the porch light goes off, and just like that, I’m back to being an outsider.
Just a man who craves being able to share a small piece of her world with her.
I don’t know exactly what this all means, but I know that one thing’s for sure.
I’m in trouble.
I’m in so much trouble.