18. Haven
Chapter Eighteen
Haven
Under Cash’s watchful eye, I let my landlady know that I’m going to be staying at the ranch for a while.
We decide not to keep it a secret where I am. After Cash asked me, I made a list of everyone who has been critical of me, quietly or not so quietly. Everyone at the town meeting, everyone who’s given me a cold shoulder. They’re mostly New Harvest faithful, and I’m truly not scared of any of them.
From twenty years of observation, I don’t think any of them are particularly brave, and anonymous threats track with a cowardly, critical world view.
I doubt any of them would tell Cash to his face that they think he’s making a mistake. So making it known that I’m staying with Cash and his family feels like a good move.
But saying I’m going to stay with his family is one thing. Driving under the gate that says Kincaid’s Refuge and pulling up to the ranch house is a whole other thing.
“They all know I’m coming?”
“Are you kidding me? They’re thrilled to have you here. Brace yourself for wedding preparation talk.”
“You didn’t say that earlier!”
“Couldn’t risk you refusing to come.” He winks at me. “We can go to bed early.”
I flush at the thought of his whole family knowing we’re going to share a bed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be a gentleman under my mother’s roof.”
I exhale in relief.
He leans over and brushes his lips against my cheek. “Unless you need me to be a bastard.”
“I’m not going to do that!”
He’s still chuckling as he comes around to open my door.
I swallow hard. “So they all know about the emails?”
“I kept it simple. Showed them the note, told them I wasn’t comfortable staying in town. They didn’t ask any questions.”
That’s hard for me to wrap my head around. He’s moving a stranger into their house.
But as we climb the wide porch, the door swings open, and his mother, Luna Kincaid, sticks her head out.
She’s in her early fifties, a tiny little sprite of a human being, with grey-streaked dark brown hair and a ready smile. I’ve met her before, so her Pro Choice Pro Horse Pro Weed t-shirt doesn’t surprise me, exactly, but it’s still startling. In a good way. In a this is different kind of way.
“You’re here,” she says with relief. “Oh, I’m so glad.”
I return her smile. “Hi. Thank you for having me.”
She pushes the door wider. “Come in, come in. Cash, where are her bags?”
“In the truck. I’ll grab them in a bit.”
As we step inside, little footsteps pound against the hardwood floors, and then a tiny blonde whirlwind comes barrelling around the corner. She pulls up short when she sees me.
I kneel. “Hi Bellamy. We met at the library, remember? I’m Haven.”
She goes shy, hiding behind Luna’s leg for a second, but she keeps looking at Cash.
He grins down at her. “You’re not shy, rugrat. What’s this all about?”
She giggles and runs away.
He catches my hand and pulls me along, and we follow her into an oversized kitchen that dominates the north end of the house.
Zane and Hope are next to the island, and we’ve clearly interrupted them mid-embrace.
“Sorry,” she mumbles as he turns away for a second, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “Thought we had a second longer than we did. Hi! Haven, welcome.”
“Thanks for having me.”
She waves her hands. “I’m a newbie here, too. So we’re in this together.”
I know she means that to be welcoming, but all I can hear is Cash’s ominous warning that we have no idea who is threatening us, and the last time that happened for this family, it ended in a deadly clash.
It’s so hard to think of someone wanting to harm this lovely young mother. It’s just as hard to think about someone wanting to hurt me or Cash.
There’s a side door right out of the kitchen to the outside, and that swings open now. In steps the youngest Kincaid brother, Dax.
“Saw your truck,” he says to Cash. And then to me, “Welcome to the ranch. It’s been a long time.”
“Nice to see you again.”
He winks. “I know.”
Cash growls at him.
“What? I’m just being friendly. She’s going to be sleeping in my bed, after all.”
I squeak in surprise.
Cash wraps his arm around my waist, his hand splaying wide across my hip. “He’s barely slept in it himself, and he’s definitely not sharing it tonight.”
They’re all so warm and friendly—and casual about adult intimacy. It’s a shocking difference to the house I was raised in.
There’s a little nudge against my leg. I glance down and see Bellamy holding up a book.
“Is that for me?”
She nods shyly.
I take it and read the title. “Not All Mama Bears are Bears. This looks like a great book! Have you read it?”
“It’s my favourite,” she whispers.
“You can read it with Haven after dinner,” her mother says. “But right now, we need to go wash your hands, Bellaboo.”
“No!” She races out of the room.
Hope rolls her eyes and follows her, tossing over her shoulder that they’ll be right back.
And that leaves me alone with almost all the Kincaids.
“Is Ridge coming over for dinner?” Cash asks Zane.
His brother shakes his head. “He’s camping up on the mountain, watching the herd.”
Cash kisses my temple. “You’ll meet him soon enough.”
I don’t say that I’ve seen Ridge storming around town—and in and then out again at The Friendly Table. He probably doesn’t know who I am. I’m pretty invisible.
Over dinner, the conversation does turn to the wedding, which is now just a week and a half away.
And then after dinner, everyone…disappears. It goes from overwhelming to very quiet, very quickly.
“Early to bed, early to rise on the ranch.” Cash grins at me, slow and happy. “We can go down to our room.”
Our. Room.
There’s a wide staircase in the centre of the house. I can hear Bellamy running around upstairs, but Cash leads me down to the lower level, half sunk into the ground, and it’s like we have the entire space to ourselves.
This was Zane’s room for years, but after Hope and Bellamy arrived, he moved upstairs, kicking Dax down here.
I feel badly about taking over a space Dax just got, but Cash just points to the piles of boxes stacked neatly in the corner of the extra large bedroom. “He still hasn’t unpacked, because he’s on the road more often than not. So he didn’t mind me booting him out and making this ours.”
“Where is he staying tonight?”
“Over at Ridge’s cabin. It’s a short walk from here. He can stay there until the wedding, and then he’ll be off for another few weeks of the rodeo circuit.”
“And hopefully by then, we can move back into town.” My voice sounds abnormally bright. Am I in denial about a danger that Cash sees more clearly than me?
Maybe.
Or maybe my optimism won’t be misplaced.
Only time will tell.
I busy myself with unpacking, ignoring the carefully made bed. It’s not that I don’t like the bed. Bright white sheets, a soft-looking blanket, and four big pillows make it very inviting.
But last night, Cash slide in next to me while I was asleep. I didn’t have to think about what it would mean to go to bed with him.
How far this is from my vision of what my life would look like. I’ve saved myself for marriage, my whole life, and now I’m tumbling into what can only be described as a friends with benefits situationship with the town bad boy.
We’ve zoomed right past fake dating to very real hooking up, and sharing a bed every night is surely going to escalate that descent into…
Into…
“What are you thinking about?” Cash asks, as he sweeps my hair off the back of my neck.
“Overthinking absolutely everything,” I say.
“Do you want me to distract you?” There’s a lot of heated promise in his words.
And that promise ignites something fierce in my belly. “I thought you said we wouldn’t fool around in your family home?”
“I lied.” He curves his arm around my waist, banding me tight against him. He brushes his lips against the nape of my neck. “I want to make you feel good. Do you want a lesson in being quiet?”
A need so powerful it steals my breath swirls through me.
He pulls off his t-shirt first, then unzips my dress and slides the top down to my waist, so he’s bare chested and I’m just in a bra.
He trails his fingers all around the lace first, then follows with his mouth, kissing me all over as he turns me in his hands, until it’s really hard to keep my reaction sounds muffled.
And then he stops.
“You want to be loud, don’t you?”
“No!” My cheeks flame.
“Yeah, you do. It’s hard to keep those sexy noises inside. It’s okay. That’s what pillows are for. Get on your hands and knees on the bed.”
I squeak as he slides his hands over my belly to the folding fabric where my dress is resting on my hips, then pushes it down, helping me step out of it.
“You’re beautiful,” Cash says before I can worry about him seeing me in my underwear. The warmth in his voice makes me look back at him as I climb onto the bed, and the flare of appreciative heat is unmistakable. “Grab one of those pillows and let your screams go into it.”
I’m starting to trust that he likes my body. But it still feels incredibly vulnerable to do what he says, because it pushes my bum into the air, and as I lean over and press my face into the pillow, I can’t see him anymore.
And I really, really like to look at Cash. I find his gaze reassuring, the look in his eyes and the way his whole body reacts to me, flexing and stretching…
But as soon as I turn my head and soften my body, I get something even better than his gaze—I get his touch. His hands on my back, his kiss on my shoulder as he leans over me, covering me with his heavy warmth.
“I love how soft your skin is.” He exhales heavily, then buries his face in my hair. “And you smell like fucking heaven. I’m sorry I lied to you, but I can’t keep my hands off you, so please be good and quiet for me as I rub your back and play with your tits, all right?”
I’m not sure how he’s going to do the second part when I’m face down in a pillow, but that just shows how inexperienced I am, because Cash has a plan.
And it starts with taking off my bra.