29. Cash
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Cash
We’re all dressed nicely—Luna didn’t raise slouches—but Zane is wearing a goddamn suit.
I whistle as he settles his jacket into place. “Look at you.”
He looks almost fucking shy.
“Are you blushing?” Dax asks from where he’s sprawled on Ridge’s couch.
“He sure is.” I pat Zane’s cheek.
“I want to look good for her. I want her to have pictures that we can print extra big and put on the wall, you know?”
I hate how much I understand that sentiment.
Haven deserves that kind of man, someone who could give her a home and a family and wedding pictures so special, they get framed.
This time last year, I would have said none of us would ever be that kind of man.
We’re all broken in different ways. Ridge has a deep-seated fear he’s violent like our dad.
I know I got my most reckless tendencies from him, although I don’t like to think about it too much.
So did Dax. And Zane…Zane spent his whole life trying to repair our messed up reputations.
And then he met Hope, and everything changed.
Now he’s jumping through hopes to make this as special as he can for her.
Like… they didn’t want to see each other before they exchanged vows. They’re already living together, and they had the world’s shortest, secret engagement. But this tradition matters.
I clap Zane on the shoulder and he gives me a big hug.
And then the fucker starts crying. It’s enough to make me feel some kind of way, and I give him a tight squeeze.
“Jesus. You’re gonna have a wife, a little girl, and a baby on the way. Going from zero to sixty, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, just a blink of an eye. Everything I cared about changed.” He pauses. “But I still love you guys with all my heart. Luna and the ranch… You guys know that’s never going to change, right?”
“Of course we know,” Ridge growls.
“Good.” Zane grins. “Because we’re not stopping with two kids. I want at least four, just like us.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “You like being a dad that much, eh?”
“Fucking love it.” He exhales and wipes his mouth, bouncing on his heels. “Let’s go! I’m ready. I just want to see her. I want to do it now.”
Right on cue, there’s a knock at the door.
A photographer I don’t recognize pokes her head inside.
She introduces herself, makes eyes at Dax, of course.
Her gaze also lingers on Ridge. She doesn’t give me a second glance, and I don’t care about that at all.
All I think about is whether Haven is going to like the way I look and whether I should have dressed up more like my brother did.
Which is fucked up, because I shouldn’t be trying to be more appealing to her right now. I need to find a way to extricate myself from her life, not make her want me more.
More, asshole? She doesn’t want you at fucking all right now.
It’s agony going to sleep next to her every night with a polite Good night, and then quiet reading. With every turn of her page, I feel her slipping away from me a bit more.
“Can one of you fix Zane’s tie for him?” The photographer starts cueing us. Ridge fake-adjusts the tie. Then I hand him his hat. Dax holds the door for him, and we spill out onto the porch for casual photos of the four of us.
Luna comes over as we’re finishing up. We’ve done this before, taking family pictures with her. But this is different. This is the last time it’s just the five of us in the family.
And of course Luna starts crying.
“Mom, it’s okay.” Zane cups her face in his hands and kisses her forehead.
“Oh, I know. I’m so glad that you found her. I’m so glad you’re not alone anymore.” She presses her lips together, as if she wants to say more than that, but this is a happy occasion, and she doesn’t want to ruin it.
I know the feeling well.
Fuck.
The next person to arrive at Ridge’s cabin is Bellamy, and right behind her is Haven, who looks so pretty she takes my breath away.
“Sorry, sorry, I know you’re doing family photos,” she says apologetically. “But Bellamy really wanted—”
“Zane!” Bellamy cries, throwing herself at the groom.
“It’s all right, Bellaboo. Come here,” he says.
He lifts her up into his arms, and she pats his suit jacket.
“Do I look handsome enough for your mama?” he asks.
“Yes!” And then she buries her face in his shoulder.
“Well, in that case, let’s go get married.”
He leads the way around the house and down to the willows that overlook the pond.
I trail behind, falling into step beside Haven.
“You look beautiful today,” I say to her. Her butter yellow dress makes her look radiant, perfectly offsetting her hair and the creamy pink of her cheeks.
She gives me a polite smile. “Thank you.”
Waiting for us at the pond is the minister from the United Church in town, Callum Kerr.
He’s dressed in black, wearing a clerical shirt and collar for the occasion.
It’s a very traditional look compared to how Haven’s uncle and Jeb both dress, and I don’t think that’s an accident.
There’s something in the way his kind gaze falls on Haven very quickly that tells me he’s aware of her situation, either because of gossip or a direct request from Hope and Zane.
After greeting my brother and Bellamy, he comes over to where I’m standing right beside Haven like a protective guard dog she didn’t ask for.
I hate that I recognize the depth of understanding in his eyes.
“Good to see you, Miss Bingham,” he says.
“And you too, Reverand Kerr,” she says. It’s exactly the same incredibly polite tone she’s using with me.
I understand that, too. More now than I did before, because just like me, the church broke Haven’s heart.
And Kerr, who is as nice as they come—never heard a bad word about him—seems to recognize her pain, too.
To his credit, he doesn’t take any offence.
Maybe he sees Haven as an injured sheep, one he would love to tend to.
We have that in common. But I’m limited in how I can tend to her, which just proves I’m the worst man in the world for her.
Kerr, on the other hand…
He would be an excellent husband, if he could gain her trust.
My fists clench at my side imagining how soft and tender he could be with her. The babies she would bear, the pretty dresses she would wear to teach Sunday school. The script just writes itself.
And as if she can feel my misplaced jealousy radiating off, Haven shoots me a pointed look.
I take a deep breath and let the pain flow through me.
It’s just another sacrifice I have to endure.
The breeze picks up. Zane’s attention locks on the back of the house.
Hope steps out from the lower level, Mercy at her side. They exchange whispers, then Mercy starts across the grass.
Beside Zane, Ridge goes stiff.
Both of us fucking dumb as shit when it comes to women.
Once Mercy takes her spot under the bunting garland, Hope steps into the sunshine.
She’s wearing a long white dress. It’s a little retro, a little hippie coastal girl, and a lot country. In one hand, she’s carrying a bouquet of wildflowers that match a delicate wreath in her hair, and her other hand lifts her skirt revealing cowboy boots.
Her gaze is locked on Zane, and she’s beaming so brightly, it’s hard to look at her.
I’m so glad you’re not alone anymore.
Mom’s words echo through my mind as Hope walks herself down an imaginary aisle to where my brother is holding her daughter.
She takes Zane’s free hand in hers and the whole world disappears. It’s just the two of them gazing into each other’s eyes.
Callum clears his throat. “It’s a fine morning to join two people in marriage in the eyes of our Lord and the Province of Alberta, in front of the witnesses gathered here today, friends and family alike.
“Over the last two weeks, I’ve had the gift of meeting with Hope and Zane a couple of times to talk about what they wanted this to look like.
Today is most important day in their whole relationship to date.
It’s also the start of the rest of their lives together.
They have asked you here to witness an exchange of vows that are sacred, that are profound, and made even more special because of a little girl. ”
“That’s me,” Bellamy says.
“Yes, that’s you.” Zane says proudly. His eyes are suspiciously bright. Beside me, Haven sucks in a little breath. Blindly I reach over and take her hand, squeezing her fingers. In a blessing I don’t really deserve, she squeezes back.
He whispers something to the little girl, and she nods back.
He sets her down, and she carefully stands beside the minister.
“Zane and Hope, in the presence of these witnesses, confirm that you bring yourselves freely to this union.” Kerr lowers his voice and prompts Zane first.
“I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I, Zane Kincaid may not be joined in matrimony to Hope Waterford.”
“I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I, Hope Waterford, may not be joined in matrimony to Zane Kincaid.”
“Zane, do you promise to give Hope your love, your honour, and your devotion, for all the days of your life?”
“I do.”
Kerr repeats the question to Hope.
She nods. “I do.”
“Please join hands and repeat after me. I call upon those persons present to witness…”
Zane repeats his words. “That I, Zane Kincaid, do take you, Hope Waterford, to be my lawful wedded spouse. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, in whatever circumstances life may hold for us.”
“I call upon those persons present to witness that I, Hope Waterford, do take you, Zane Kincaid, to be my lawful wedded spouse. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, in whatever circumstances life may hold for us.”
Ridge hands Zane a ring. He slides it on Hope’s finger, his words private and just for her.
Her voice, though, rings loud and clear as she puts his ring on. “Zane, I give you this ring as a forever reminder of our marriage vows, and the family we’ll build together. It is a symbol of my love and commitment to you.”
“Zane and Hope, you have declared your solemn intention and consented in marriage before God and these witnesses. You have formalized your commitment to each other and your family. Now, in the authority vested in me by the Province of Alberta, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may—”
Zane already has Hope in her arms.
Bellamy cheers.
“Kiss the bride,” Kerr finishes.
Zane continues to do just that.