Chapter 3 Jesse
Jesse
NOW
It takes maybe two seconds to register that the amber eyes staring back at me belong to Penny Hanson. And then it takes roughly one more second to notice the stunned disbelief carved into her face.
I freeze.
The cold trailing in behind me snakes its way under my leather jacket, but that’s not what’s got me locked in place. It’s the way she’s looking at me—like I’m a ghost the wind dragged in with it.
Over Penny’s shoulder, Fia’s wide, doe-eyed stare darts between us, and all I can do is let out a gravelly chuckle, thin and dry, because it feels like someone just punched the air clean out of my lungs.
The last time all three of us stood in this kitchen together, Fia was eleven years old and I was a tall, gawky eighteen-year-old with no goddamn clue where I belonged in the world. I was just a lost kid who got taken in by a kind family.
“Hey,” I say to Penny, nodding once. What do you even say to someone you haven’t laid eyes on for ten years? What can I say without immediately opening every floodgate?
My gaze drops to her mouth, stuck on her lips that are still too full, too soft, too much, but I catch myself. This isn’t my best friend I used to steal kisses from in this very kitchen.
That version of us is long gone.
She spins her body around so fast her blonde ponytail whips through the air—no doubt shooting daggers at her sister, who appears more ghostly than normal.
Fia clears her throat. “I’ve been trying to reach you for twenty-four hours, Jesse. Where the heck have you been?” There’s a playful lilt to her voice, but her face reads panic.
It’s still strange seeing her like this—grown. I’ve been here for two weeks now, but it still reminds me of how long I’ve been gone. I mean, fuck, just seeing her pregnant has me messed up too. She’s like my little sister for all intents and purposes.
I’ve spent the better half of the last decade not being needed by anyone, not having to answer to a soul. No one’s checking in on me. So it’s a bit jarring to suddenly have someone needing to know my whereabouts. It’s going to take some getting used to.
I click the door shut behind me, fully stepping into the kitchen, and shift around Penny’s rigid body, not missing the way her breath catches as I do.
“Sorry,” I mutter, scratching my jaw. “I stayed out late last night and left early this morning. My phone died sometime yesterday.”
“Well, it’s too late anyway.” Fia exhales. “I was just trying to give you a heads up that Penny was coming.” The corners of her mouth twitch, and she hesitates. “You know…before the happy reunion.”
Penny lets out a frustrated grunt. The same one she used to make before slamming her bedroom door in Danny’s face when we were all sixteen, under one roof.
“Does someone want to explain what the hell is going on?” Her voice cuts through the chill air, and Fia and I both stumble over our explanations, but mine’s louder.
“I’m crashing here for a while. Thought you were made aware.” It comes out clipped, unintentionally harsh. I can only imagine what thoughts are spiraling in Penny’s head right now. Her stiff body and tense face say she wants to throttle my throat.
Penny was always a firecracker, someone who is unapologetically themselves. It’s why I fucking loved her in the first place.
A lifetime ago.
Her attention snaps to her sister. “You couldn’t find a nice girl your age to be your roommate? You had to choose him?”
Fia flinches but doesn’t push back. This isn’t the happy reunion she’d pictured. And I don’t want to be the reason for a fight.
“Listen, I’ll leave,” I say, raising both hands in surrender. “I just need to grab Tank’s food.”
“No!” Fia crosses her arms, her voice sharp with emotion. “Please stay, Jesse. This is your home, too.” She turns to Penny, frustrated. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Me not living here alone? Look, I solved it.”
Penny draws a breath sharp enough to cut, and I feel like I’ve stepped into an interrogation room with no exit.
“He used to live here, Penny!” Fia’s voice cracks, full of disbelief. “I thought you’d be happy I didn’t invite some random axe murderer to crash in the guest room!”
Penny jams her glossy pink fingernails into her temples. “You should’ve talked to me before you did this.” Her voice comes out tight.
Fia blinks, thrown.
They’re both talking like I’m not six feet away, so I inch toward the pantry, grabbing my dog’s water bowl and food bin.
Fia moves quickly, reaching for the bin. “You’re not leaving.”
“And you’re not grabbing forty pounds of kibble when you’re pregnant.” I hoist it over my shoulder, out of reach.
What the hell was I thinking, moving back in?
Oh, right. I wasn’t thinking. Not with my head, anyway. My damn heart led me here—straight into what might’ve been a terrible idea.
Two weeks ago, I ran into Fia at the grocery store unexpectedly.
I was grabbing another frozen meal to heat up in the motel mini-kitchen, and Fia was staring at cereal boxes blankly.
I stared at her for way too long, unsure if I was really seeing the girl who used to tape coloring book pages to my bedroom door.
When our eyes locked, something passed between us. Maybe a mutual relief?
“Jesse?” she asked, and without even thinking, I pulled her into a hug.
I hadn’t told her I was back in town. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to yet.
It didn’t feel like I deserved to just show up at her house, so I’d been holed up in a motel off the highway for six weeks, trying and failing to find an apartment.
No one wants to rent to a tattooed guy with a record and a pit bull.
I was used to that kind of judgment, but still, it had started to wear on me.
Started to make me doubt why I came back here.
Fia and I had kept in touch over the last ten years. Just a text here and there, holiday wishes, Instagram likes, but seeing her in our hometown shifted something in me. Like a fragment of my heart was mending.
When I mentioned where I was staying, her face fell, then instantly lit up.
She told me she was searching for a roommate and nearly begged me to move in.
I wasn’t comfortable with the idea at first, because coming back to Wilmington was one thing, but moving back into the house I lived in as a teenager was something else.
She wouldn’t take no for an answer, though.
Fia may be the gentler of the Hanson sisters, but both she and Penny are like their Nan.
When they have an idea in their head, no one can change it.
I found myself moving in a few days later, and it’s been pretty smooth up until today.
I knew Penny was coming for Christmas, but I was supposed to have another week to prepare myself to see her. I didn’t expect to walk in the back door and see her just standing there.
Penny taps her nails on the counter angrily.
“Was I the last to find out everything? That my baby sister is pregnant, that Jesse is back from god knows where, and that y’all are playing happy family again like nothing ever happened?
” Penny’s sharp voice ricochets off the yellow-painted walls of this old house.
“I have a lot going on, okay? I’m sorry,” Fia says, voice cracking. “I needed time to figure out how to tell you everything. I knew you’d try to control it all.” Her hands are raised, helpless, and Penny shakes her head like she’s building a wall brick by brick.
I’ve had women fight over me, but not like this.
I should’ve warned Fia that this wasn’t going to be a sweet little homecoming. She doesn’t know the whole truth about our relationship.
Past relationship.
The only people who do are Penny and I. And judging by the way she’s clenching her jaw, she was planning on taking that information to the grave.
“I need a minute,” she says, biting her lip before stepping around me and straight to the back door I just came through.
“Hold up!” I shout, but I’m too late. Tank, my dog who forgets he’s not tiny, greets Penny the only way he knows how—uncontained helicopter tail, tongue ready to kiss, and head straight to the knees of his victim.
At least we got all the greetings out of the way.