Chapter 28 Jesse
Jesse
THEN
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask, my voice low, rough with restraint. “I don’t want you to feel rushed.”
The room is stuffy and warm, and only lit by the moonlight leaking through the slats in the blinds, leaving silver lines across her face. She touches her collarbone, nervously pulling on the hem of her T-shirt.
It’s just us at home tonight.
Fia’s at a sleepover, and Nan’s working the night shift. Danny even miraculously picked up an evening stock shift at the grocery store. It’s the first time we’ve been truly alone. Not stolen moments or whispered touches behind closed doors.
I can’t let it go to waste.
Penny nods, her forehead brushing against my chest. I can feel her breath, warm and unsteady against me.
“Yes, I’m sure… I’ve been wanting this for so long,” she replies.
I lean my head against hers for a second, needing her to know, really know. “I love you so much, Pen…I need to know you feel safe before we do this.”
She melts into me like those words were all she needed. And hell, I mean them. Every syllable. I’ve never loved anyone like this...never wanted to protect someone like this.
I’d never let anyone hurt her.
Her fingers tremble slightly as she lifts her shirt, and I meet her halfway, pulling it over her head and dropping it on the floor next to me.
I press a kiss to her forehead, then her temple, her cheekbone, and finally her lips.
I hook a finger under her chin, gently tilting her face up so I can kiss her deeply.
“I love you, too, Jesse,” she whispers against my mouth.
I pull my shirt over my head, too, and suddenly, we’re chest to chest, the heat between us too real to go back now.
The pink lace of her bra cups her softly, delicately, and catches the low light. She steals my breath. I’m the luckiest guy in the world.
“Fuck, princess,” I murmur without thinking, my voice strained. “You are so damn beautiful.”
Her cheeks flush a deep, rose pink, blooming down her neck.
She dips her head like she can hide from me, but I won’t let her.
I tip her chin back with a finger, and then I do it—scoop her into my arms. She gasps, instinctively clutching my shoulders, and it sends something deep and protective clawing up inside me.
I’ve imagined this moment a hundred times.
Her hands are shaky, and mine aren’t much steadier, but I catch the glint of the silver condom wrapper I put on the nightstand earlier, and then I look at her again, making sure. Her eyes don’t waver.
She’s sure.
But when I trail kisses down her neck and press my body against hers, I feel the shift. Her breath catches, and when I pull back, her eyes glisten. A single tear spills out.
My chest tightens. “Hey.” I swipe my thumb over the tear, over her damp, parted lips. “What’s wrong, baby?” I hover over her, worry clawing at my throat.
“Nothing,” she whispers.
I trace circles over the soft dip of her collarbone, grounding her, grounding me. Her skin is warm beneath my fingertips. I’ve learned you can’t rush with Penny, she does everything in her own time.
My eyes flick back and forth as the silent beats seem to painfully stretch on.
“Promise me….” she whispers, biting her lip, and I lower myself another inch closer to her. “Promise me you’ll always be mine?”
Time fucking stops.
I smile—softly, not cocky, but the way only Penny draws out of me. I pull her close and cradle her head in my hands like she’s the most precious thing I’ve ever held.
“I promise,” I say. “What made you think of that?”
“It’s just…everything is about to change. I’ll be starting school in a few months, and you’ll be working, and we won’t live together and—”
“Hey, hey.” I interrupt her spiral, grabbing both her hands in mine, holding them tightly. Penny’s misty eyes find mine, and I wish I could just grab her heart and rewire her brain and make her understand I’m not ever going to stop loving her.
“I promise you, Penny Hanson, I’m yours. We’ve waited for so long to be together for real…and soon, we won’t have to hide it. Everything will change, and it’s going to be perfect. It’s going to be just like we always planned.”